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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22554559">Demagogue</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnegbertkin/pseuds/johnegbertkin'>johnegbertkin</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Homestuck, Homestuck2 - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(And is Also a Prince), (Not Between Siblings), Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bittersweet Ending, Eventual Sex, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Forbidden Love, Jake is Jane’s brother, John is a Prince, Kanaya is a bedmaid, Karkat is a Knight, Later Themes of Death, Letters, M/M, Multi, Poison, Race for the Throne, Romanticized Medieval Era, Semi Period-Typical Homophobia, Sibling Rivalry, Sickness, Tragedy, Tragic Romance, ehh</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 17:07:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>153,753</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22554559</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnegbertkin/pseuds/johnegbertkin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The Lalonde kingdom has four heirs and 1 condition— Whoever marries first takes the throne. Dirk willing to deny love for power, Roxy fighting to keep her corrupt brother from taking control of the kingdom, Rose dying with every passing day, and Dave distracted by an unfit suitor.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Jake English/Dirk Strider, John Egbert/Roxy Lalonde, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam, Unromantic - Relationship, Very Minor Dirk Strider/Jane Crocker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>125</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. A night for dancing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I want to make something clear right off the bat!<br/>The Dirk/Jane is simply a political agreement that’ll be developed on throughout the story—I know Dirk Strider is gay and his sexuality is very important. He is gay in this story, but is marrying a woman to try and win the family tradition. This is not a spoiler because it is mentioned almost instantly</p><p>Also, i’ve completely made up the politics of this universe and although some characters are mentioned to have accents they all speak a universal language. I’m aware that Russian royalty are not Kings and Queens, but instead Tsars and Tsarinas, along with other stuff i’ve changed to fit my story aesthetic. Please don’t take anything too seriously because i’ve made this story up to be a fun fantasy! </p><p>P.S I love feedback so please comment and let me know how you like the fic!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>ACT I</p>
<p>For as long as the family held their power, the Lalondes had a strange tradition holding up from generation to generation. Decided by the first king of Derse, when his adolescent twin daughters faught ruthlessly over who would inherit the throne, whichever of his children, and their children after them, married first would become King or Queen.</p>
<p>This followed his daughters for hundreds of years, either with horrible infighting, rushed child marriages, single children taking the throne unmarried, or 12 year age gaps preventing any competition at all, when you can get married before your sister can talk. </p>
<p>In the case of Roxanne Tatiana Kirillovich Lalonde, the youngest out of 12 princesses, caught the eye of Dederick, an orphaned and newly crowned king from Poland and was married before her 17th birthday— rightfully pissing off her oldest sister who was 27 and unmarried. Derek would joke and proclaim Roxanne as too beautiful to marry, like wearing a priceless jewel or a coat made out of irrevocable fur, but within months they were wed and Roxanna had unintentionally won the competition she had expected to have no chance of participating in. </p>
<p>Her mother had warned her that her susceptibility to illness as a child had made her poor for bearing children, and was most certainly infertile, begging her to pass her duties on to her second oldest sister who was to be married in the coming year— Roxanne refused out of spite. Roxanne inherited her family castle and Derek had inherited her name. </p>
<p>Months later and after weeks of trying, by a miracle of God, Roxanne became pregnant with her first child. In the early days of December, the world around them being buried in snow, Dederick Margrave Kirillovich Lalonde II was born by fireplace in the sitting room, Roxanne too weak and giving birth too quickly to be moved. To be called Dirk, their first son entered the world screaming and alive. </p>
<p>Three months later Roxanne was pregnant again, twice too many times then expected by her family, and a day before Dirks and only a year apart, Roxanne Margrita Kirillovich Lalonde was born. To be called Roxy, their first daughter entered the world slowly, aware and wide eyed, barley making a sound. </p>
<p>Roxy and Dirk were raised side by side but alone for a few years, like twins, celebrating every birthday and event together, even christened in the same chapel side by side. Maids and family friends would joke that they were like an oddity, secretly born attached at the side, physically inseparable from the other. Baths, bedtime, playing, and stories were never alone, needing to be hugging, touching, and wrestling at every waking and sleeping hour. </p>
<p>Then, as if following a decided pattern, in the Spring Roxanna was pregnant again. This time, with many complications. Falling so horribly ill they prayed for her life, laying in bed sobbing until she passed out, doctors at her bedside throughout the night, and trying every medicine and every alternative tonic they could to keep her and the child alive.</p>
<p>Finally, on the same day as Roxy, Rosalina Mardegru Kirillovich Lalonde was born through gritted teeth and screaming pain, Roxanne weak and sick, bleeding profusely and bedridden. To be called Rose, their second and final daughter was born quiet and struck fear into the hearts of her parents, was alive and healthy, but small and skinny. </p>
<p>Roxanne made it out alive by the skin of her teeth, and her sheets were rewoven to be rid of the blood. She was nursed back to health and was soon back to how she had always been, and three children was all she needed. </p>
<p>Roxy and Dirk bullied and picked on their younger sister, hiding from her in a mean spirited version of hide and seek, and were not quick to allow her into their close and comfortable bond— this is how children always are. </p>
<p>3 years after Rose was born, in the chilly December months just like his siblings, the same day as Dirk, the final child and second son of the Lalonde family came as a shock. Roxanne was surprised by pregnancy in November, unaware of the growing child until only a few days before he was born. David Ferrara Kirillovich Lalonde was born in the surprising late of the night, a quick birth only taking an hour, but crying and kicking for hours. </p>
<p>Four blonde haired, fair skinned children, with a mix of blue and brown eyes, rich and extravagantly taught from birth, the boys as beautiful as the girls handsome. </p>
<p>Now, Roxy sat at her vanity with a comb in her hair, an incredible thing it was. Heavy in her hand with a carved golden handle, ornamented in flowers and swirls. It had been dusted with light pink dye, the roses sticking out prominently against the deep gold, making the otherwise simple comb a marvel. Her mother had given it to her as a child, saying it would drive her Grandmother ill knowing it wasn’t being used as lovingly as she had used it in her hair as a young woman. </p>
<p>Roxy had shoulder length blonde hair, bouncing and curling at the end in a way that she hated with every brush, wishing it all to be curly or all to be straight— but certainly not both. Her mother had told her once it made her hair look unnatural and dead, which she had cried about for hours, and now it drove her crazy. </p>
<p>She stood up, patting down her dress and swaying side to side to watch her dress twirl and bounce, falling straight and graceful to the floor. </p>
<p>The dress was pink, her absolute favorite, and was tight on her chest as her mother should like it, the trim embroidered in colored flowers and golden vines and instruments, the sleeves just off her shoulders and tight. At her elbow the sleeves tied into a neat bow, a train of pink lace pleated around the ribbon and falling down the rest of her arm like a ballerina's skirt. Her favorite embroidery was a trumpet sewn with gold thread on her right shoulder, it was special in its detail and especially well done. </p>
<p>Roxy had sewed up tight braids against her head, fitting the sides of her skill right above her ears, tying in the back and curling downwards like the rest of her irritating hair. She looked from side to side at herself in the mirror, pulling on her skin and checking for any ugly marks or over blushing on her cheeks, grinning at herself delightfully. </p>
<p>Roxy jumped at the knock on her bedroom door, sitting up straight and floating over to it, barefoot against the cold floor of her bedroom, wrapping her soft and delicate hands around the handle and pulling the heavy thing open to greet the visitor.</p>
<p>But it wasn’t any visitor, it was Dirk, of course already finished getting ready, even his boots laced up. He had a small crown on his head, one very similar to her tiara, but much more modest than their Father and Mother. The only thing he was missing was the training cape he wore over his shoulders like a wedding veil, and the sash mother had begged him to wear, although he was embarrassed of it. </p>
<p>“There isn’t any way you’ve taken this long and still look that bad '' he said coldly, staring deep into Roxy's eyes. They stared bitterly at each other, scowls on their faces. Then in a split moment Dirks face turned red and his mouth filled with air until his cheeks were big and couldn’t hold it anymore, spitting out of his mouth. They broke into fits of laughter, Roxy grabbing Dirk by his shoulders and pulling him into the room, leaning against the door to shut it with a loud and satisfying clank. Dirk studied her, nodding as if he was taking in any information at all, circling her and picking at her skirt. He pointed his finger up exaggeratedly, his face still resting in that calm and cool expression he always worked to keep, walking to her bedside table and digging through a jewelry box she held very dear to herself. </p>
<p>It was ball shaped, a very Russian thing, it’s lid trimmed in gold lace and ribbon, silks sewn into patterns to make its skin, and inside were priceless treasures and gifts from people from all around the world. The box was heavy and a trick to open, mostly to keep her siblings hands away from it, but Dirk had a lot of practice stealing her things, especially since he had a keen eye for jewels and other feminine things. Dirk in particular liked the necklace gifted to her by the now late King of Prospit, as a sign of communion at her birth. </p>
<p>“Here, this will fill out that long neck you have” he teased, turning back to her. </p>
<p>He lifted it up by its hook and chain on each end, the simple and delicate Lily charm resting in the divot of the chain. Dirk walked to his sister and hooked it around her neck, standing in front of the mirror with her, struggling to fasten it with her hair in his way, not wanting to make her move it after spending all afternoon on it alone. </p>
<p>Putting his hands on her shoulders he looked around her head at them in the mirror, flicking and messing with his hair while Roxy centered the charm to the middle of her chest. They looked up at each other in unison, a wide grin meeting a soft smile. </p>
<p>“I love this dress” she repeated, picking up the skirt and swaying for him again. Dirk nodded, bending down and pulling something she couldn’t see off of the skirt again. She never saw the little things he did— he was so anal about detail and order. </p>
<p>“I like it too, but I like you in blue dresses better” he commented “, pink flushes you out in candle light.” </p>
<p>Roxy frowned, furrowing her brows and twirled to the window, falling dramatically on the window seat. “Oh but how envious I look by sunset dear brother!” she proclaimed in a hoity toity voice, pressing the back of her hand to her forehead and throwing her head back. </p>
<p>Dirk rolled his eyes at her, laughing and pulling on her sleeve, causing her face to sour. “STOP you’ll rip it!” she yelled, grabbing the fabric near his hand and tugging it away from him, the two fighting over the silk back and forth like dogs with a bone. </p>
<p>Another knock broke them out of their battle, both of them still holding her sleeve as they looked to the door. The door pushed open slowly and the pair stood up quickly and straightened their clothes, Roxy grumpily patting and smoothing out her sleeve. </p>
<p>Kanaya peeked her head into the room, scanning her head around, confused. She looked over the door and jumped, standing up straight and half bowed to the young royals. “So sorry, I was told to come grab you but i thought you had already gone downstairs.” </p>
<p>Kanaya was a slight woman, skinny and tall with black hair that hugged her face, straight and silky. She had lived in the palace ever since Dave had been born, she was a midwives daughter, only 12 or so when Roxy first met her. </p>
<p>Roxy perked up, letting her shoulders relax, walking over to Kanaya and holding the door for her. This was a physical argument she always won even if Kanaya knew better then to let the princess hold the door for her. “We’re coming right now!”</p>
<p>Dirk stopped her “Ms. Maryam, will you help me put on my cape? I can’t buckle it right”</p>
<p>His tone was embarrassed, he was always embarrassed over little things, and he was insecure about everything too. Kanaya nodding “of course your highness, come with me.”</p>
<p>Roxy watched the two leave the room, Dirk flicking her head playfully as he walked by her. “See you downstairs”</p>
<p>Roxy waved until their heads were missing, looking down the hall before pushing her door fully open, letting the cool air from the tall hallways fill up her room. She walked to the trunk at the foot of her grand bed, pushing it open with little effort, pulling a pair of perfectly polished and neatly placed shoes from the bin of other perfectly polished and neatly placed shoes some might even call a collection. </p>
<p>This wasn’t anything compared to her closets of shoes and dresses but only her favorite pairs sat at the foot of her bed. Roxy rounded her bed and sat on the side, careful to not sit too harshly on her dress, pulling the heels on and lacing the ribbon once around her ankle as intended, tying a large bow on the bottom of her calve. </p>
<p>Roxy moved her foot from side to side, rolling her ankle to watch them shine and sparkle in the lighting. Standing she was significantly taller, doing a test spin to make sure she could still walk in them, if not comfortably then at all. </p>
<p>“Fab…” she whispered to herself, walking over to the hooked coat hanger standing proud next to her fireplace. Roxy pulled down the sheer cape from the holder, throwing it over her shoulders and fastening the hooks under the straps of her dress, hiding the silver grabbers under the trim of her pink dress. The thin and purely decorative cape sat neatly flush to her shoulders and her dress, sparkling with gold. </p>
<p>She didn’t waste any time leaving her room to meet Rose in the crown room before their entrance to be crowned. Dirk had already jumped the shark and was impatient, wearing his long before talking to his sisters.</p>
<p>Roxy turned the corner of the large hallway, looking down towards the room that Rose slept in, her mother’s dress and hair visible in the doorway. She was nibbling one her nails and her face was serious, Roxy approaching to learn the drama, knowing that’s not the proper way for her to act. </p>
<p>“No I understand what that means but what does it <em> mean </em>?” her mother asked in a short tempered tone. </p>
<p>“Well it means Rose is very sick, she shouldn’t even be leaving her bedroom until we know it isn’t contagious” the doctor spoke low, but loud enough for the sneaky Roxy to pick up.</p>
<p>“Even tonight? It’s very important she’s out there to-“ </p>
<p>“Well unless you want to risk all of your children falling ill as well as a multitude of other high end people in the palace i’d truly recommend-“ </p>
<p>“Roxy!” her mother cried, turning quickly with a estranged and sudden smile on her face, Roxy jumping and looking up at her like a rodent at gunpoint. </p>
<p>“What are you talking about?” Roxy asked innocently, folding her hands together and attempting to peak around her mother and her large dress. Roxanne quickly stopped her and grabbed her shoulders. </p>
<p>“You look beautiful my daughter, you really are a little woman. Go get crowned and Rose will meet with you and your brothers at the doors before your entrance, alright? Don’t stall for her-“</p>
<p>“But wait-“ </p>
<p>“No, we have no time to wait. Listen to your mother.”</p>
<p>Roxy tightened up but listened, inviting a kiss from her Mother and let herself be pushed along and around the corner, back into the main hallway, where her bedroom was. She turned her head and leaned her head back</p>
<p>to see her mother was still looking at her, waving her along with a serious face. Roxy decided to listen to avoid her mother’s temper. </p>
<p>The siblings' rooms were in a large square, every turn of the long stretches of hallways had one bedroom in it, belonging to one of her siblings. Roxy’s room was at the face of the grand staircase, down the Left hallway was Rose, and down the Right was Dirk. If you walked to the back hallway, perfectly opposite to her bedroom, Dave's room was there. It was a far walk but he was born last so he didn’t get a choice. </p>
<p>Roxy grabbed the railing with a spin, hustling down the stairs and holding her dress above her ankles so she didn’t trip. Her veil flew up behind her as she ran like a fairy book character, Roxy jumping past the last 2 stairs and landing on her feet—Impressive considering her choice of footwear. </p>
<p>“Roxy!” called a soft and familiar voice, turning she saw her brother, Dave, pulling on his cape so he could run a little faster to her. </p>
<p>“Dave, you look great!” </p>
<p>“I look great?!” he exclaimed “<em> you </em>look great” </p>
<p>Roxy blushed scarlet, waving her hand dismissively at him, pulling on the hooks of his cape and readjusting them so they weren’t so crooked. </p>
<p>Dave was only 16, much smaller then Dirk and even Roxy, short and feminine in the face. He didn’t look like a girl but sometimes he didn’t look like a boy— Androgynous in every sense of the word. He was never shy over his femininity, blushing when you called him pretty and comfortable in makeup, liking to try on dresses and spin in them especially , but he’d never wear one out, even if mother would let it happen. </p>
<p>“I’m so nervous…” he confided, scratching his head, twirling his hair around a finger. Roxy grabbed his face, kissing the bridge of his nose and pulling him back to look at him. He chuckled and pushed her away. </p>
<p>“Let’s go get our crowns on, you’ll feel better when everything is pulled together!” Roxy insisted. </p>
<p>Dave let her guide him to the crown room, their father already inside waiting for them. The room was open and tall, but was the smallest room in the palace, a large red curtain sitting against the back wall. Eight large windows lined the sides, all of them adorned with stained glass making the whole room colorful at this time of day. Six large pillars with 2 chairs at each side, their father sitting in the one closest to his now empty pillar, his crown already placed on his head, reading a book. </p>
<p>“Good evening, father” she chirped, dropping her posture and walking to him, Dederick looking up from his book to smile at her. “Hello Roxanne, you look beautiful.” </p>
<p>“If everyone keeps saying that it’s gonna get to her head!” Dave whined, putting his hands on his hips and laughing, putting his boot on the back of her cape, catching her by the shoulders and making her stumble. </p>
<p>“HEY!” she grumbled, tugging it from under his foot and smoothing it out with an upturned chin. </p>
<p>Their father stood, recentering his crown and touching Roxy gently to push past her, grabbing her tiara gently. He turned it with the tips of his fingers, lifting it and placing it on the top of her head, the arm of the crown resting perfectly on top of her braids. </p>
<p>“A perfect fit” he hummed warmly, rubbing her arm and gently urging her to move out of the way for Dave. </p>
<p>He did step forward, Roxy backing up, Dave letting their father crown him as well. His crown was more like Dirks, but if you called Dirks a tiara he would get tight and shout at you, but Dave had always wished that he had as many jewels as Rose and Roxy. </p>
<p>The final crowns sitting were her mothers and her sisters, sitting side by side on the red pillows identical to theirs. </p>
<p>Roxy walked over to Rose’s, picking it up just slightly off the pillow, rubbing her hand over the main jewel in the center of the tallest peak. “When are they meeting us for the party? It starts in just an hour…”</p>
<p>“-And it’s already packed full of people in table clothes and wigs'' Dave teased, looking down at himself for the hundredth time since Roxy had been standing idly with him. </p>
<p>“Oh they’ll be down, Rose isn't feeling well but i’m sure they’ll figure everything out. Let your mother do what she has to do” Dederick suggested, picking up the book he had been reading and tucking it near to his hip, making his sword and medals jingle with the sudden movement. </p>
<p>Roxy frowned, placing the crown back down neatly. Her mother’s crown was something to marvel at, a shiney and jeweled thing. And maybe one day to be hers, she thought. </p>
<p>“Well enough standing around, I will see you both when the party begins” their father warned with a wave at the clock before leaving the room. </p>
<p>Roxy watched him pass with big eyes, Dave shifting closer to her and grabbing her arm affectionately. “He scares me sometimes…” he mumbled, referring to the sword their father always wore. Roxy wasn’t bothered, having played with it as a child when mom wasn’t around to have a heart attack over it, rubbing her brothers hands before breaking away from him. </p>
<p>“Well he’s not gonna use it on <em> you </em>” she teased, suddenly jumping into a fighting position, threatening him with an invisible sword “, but i just might!”</p>
<p>Dave jumped, holding out his own fake sword, scrunching up his face and holding out a hand. “En-garde” he teased, thrusting the sword forward. Roxy jumped dramatically, waving hers around at him, the two of them spinning and jumping around the room, yelling out threats and exaggerated grunts like a play. </p>
<p>Their sword fight was cut off by the door opening, Dirk entering with Kanaya and two other house maids. He was looking for them no doubt, his face lighting up when he saw them “Oh! There you are.” </p>
<p>“Here we are, indeed, dear brother” Roxy bowed, rolling her hand theatrically.</p>
<p> Dave pretended to sheath his sword, brushing off his hands with a satisfying clap, “We’ll finish this another day!” he insisted. </p>
<p>Roxy turned to her older brother, although she didn’t see him as any older then herself, his face annoyed. “What?” she questioned, crossing her arms. </p>
<p>“We were called to be in the East wing 20 minutes ago, Roxy” and there he was, as unforgiving as ever. Her eyebrows furrowed and she huffed, looking between all the maids to see they were all looking down. “You’ve got everyone scared to death of that venom in your eyes!” she laughed, walking to her brother and shaking his shoulders, rocking on her heels. </p>
<p>“Well if we’re late, we shouldn’t be standing around, should we?” Dave said, matching Dirk with his condescending tone. Dirk glared at Dave, their relationship as tense as ever. </p>
<p>Kanaya opened the door suddenly at Dirks rushed exit, silent besides a huff, picking up his cape and hurrying down the hall. Roxy rolled her eyes, tugging gently on Dave as they exited the room. </p>
<p>“God he’s so <em> rude </em>!” Dave rolled, throwing his arms out in frustration. </p>
<p>“He’s just organized” Roxy tried to defend him, patting her younger brother. </p>
<p>“An organized asshole” he swore, fidgeting with the tail of his coat, looking down and away from Roxy with bright red cheeks of embarrassment. </p>
<p>———</p>
<p>Roxy peaked out the window as she slipped by it quickly; carriages and sleighs rounding her house and people in beautiful clothing being escorted inside, the ballroom already filled with friends and dinner guests. She gawked at all of the people, leaning against the cold trim of the window, trying to count the carriages and how many people she assumed they could carry. </p>
<p>She felt a sharp pinch on her back, yipping and jumping lightly, her mother stood behind her with narrow eyes, ushering her to stand with her siblings. </p>
<p>Dirk had been acting strange since she spoke to him with Dave, fidgeting and constantly fixing things he had already fixed a thousand times, refusing to look at or speak to Roxy as they waited. </p>
<p>Only a set of doors and a grand staircase kept her apart from the party, people being announced as they entered through the opposite side, the chatter and commotion of conversation and shuffling wine glasses was all that could be heard…</p>
<p>Until a large horn was blared, the room following it so dead silent you’d assume no one had been there in the first place. Roxy and her siblings moved backwards into the shadows, hearing her parents full names be introduced, followed by the old doors being pushed open and abundant clapping and excitement. </p>
<p>Her father took her mother’s hand, holding it up and guiding her down the staircase with a soft bow, her mother’s beautiful dress fluttering after her, her father's sword and chains jangling as a sign of power and importance. </p>
<p>Roxy tried to peak to watch them ascend the stairs, the light hitting her face for only a half second before Dirk tugged her backwards harshly. </p>
<p>“What is your deal!” Roxy whispered, ripping her wrist away. Dirk opened his mouth to answer but was cut off by his name, shaking his head and quickly slipping past her and out the doors. The grand staircase was a few feet long, Dirk walking to the farthest end of the top stair to make room for his siblings, his cape laying perfectly on the steps. </p>
<p>Roxy was next, of course followed by...Dave. Rose wasn’t here yet, so hopefully they’d still announce her.</p>
<p>The room was bright with light, the floors a light wood and the walls a light blue, hundreds of beautiful pink, yellow, and white gowns reflecting light up into her eyes. The chandeliers crystallized in jewels shone down on the ground and the big windows let more light into the already bright and beautiful room. </p>
<p>Roxy tried to cut the habit of blinking every time the sudden lights shone on her face, her mother saying it wasn’t only ugly but unprofessional, but it was hard with this many candles in the room. Two chandeliers hanging precariously above the guests, making the top of the stairs hot. </p>
<p>Dave stood next to her shyly, nervous and biting his lip, picking at the extra fabric of his gloves. He always had a pouty expression on his face in part to his naturally large lips, his top one especially perky. Roxy was envious, rolling her lips together as she thought about it, his face was so cute. </p>
<p>Mom would never yell at Dave for misbehaving like that, tapping his foot and picking at himself in front of everyone, David was her baby after all. She spoiled him rotten still, kissing him extra long and describing him as “Her favorite son”, much to Dirks discomfort. It was weird that even though Dave spent so much time being rocked and coddled, he wasn’t more cocky, or at least outgoing. He was shy and shut off, and unless you got him going on something, he struggled to make conversation. </p>
<p>Roxy barely noticed in her spaced off state that they were done, a few steps behind her brothers, stepping quickly to catch up with them. Dirk scanned the room like he was avoiding the plague, a look of concern and dread on his brow, his mouth in a drastic frown each time his eyes circled the room. </p>
<p>His steps were heavy and he took his time descending them, Dave already gone into the crowd by the time Dirk had covered only a few steps.</p>
<p>“Are you okay?” Roxy reached her hand out but he blocked it in protest, his fingers curling suddenly and his face scrunching, pulling his hand back to his side. </p>
<p>“I tried to tell you, but i couldn’t <em> find </em>you” he answered bitterly, making Roxy feel bad. </p>
<p>Roxy looked up at what he was seeing and shared his sentiment with her own annoyed expression, but not for the same reason as him. Jane Crocker, her full name unbeknownst to Roxy, was heading her way over to Dirk. She was a beautiful girl, a marvel of human work, but god if she wasn’t annoying. She talked so much and so fast, she wasn’t stupid but spoke of trivial things Dirk convinced himself he wasn’t interested in.</p>
<p>She wore extravagant clothing, not quite as done up as she usually was since she wasn’t at her own party. They barely saw her, since she was a princess of England, and Russia and England shared quite the carriage ride of distance between them. But if it were up to Dirk, the distance would be longer. </p>
<p>But that’s not what mattered to Dirk, what mattered was fixing his face in a pleasant way to greet Jane. He held both of her hands, turning her left over and kissing the palm, making Jane flare up red in embarrassment. </p>
<p>Roxy felt her own cheeks flush at the action, the sentiment behind the kiss was of sexual nature, and watching her brother perform it made her uncomfortable. </p>
<p>That’s not all that made her uncomfortable. </p>
<p>It was the way she lit up when she saw him, clasping her hands together and leaning close to him, instantly having so many things to say to him as if she had been holding them all into until this moment.</p>
<p>It was how no matter how godey or annoying or difficult— Dirk had a keen eye for the beautiful and the feminine, and also an incredible skill of deceit. </p>
<p>He was using his fake laugh, but Jane could never tell the difference in the way Roxy could. </p>
<p>Lifting his hand and smiling softly, a low laugh followed by a sigh. Every time she laughed, he followed. His true laugh was uncontrolled, opening his mouth wide and laughing loudly, it was contagious in the way it was so surprising to hear Dirk make so much noise. </p>
<p>He knew she wanted to marry him and he was taking advantage of that.</p>
<p>But that wouldn’t happen on Roxy’s watch. She loved her brother dearly but she wouldn’t lose the most important competition of her life— because to her it wasn't a game, because this party was her chance to catch up with him...</p>
<p>because Dirk was <em> already </em>winning. </p>
<p>Roxy shook her head and left the two alone, not caring much for how much her brother would hate that, sweeping across the floor and through the people to scout the room like a hawk. </p>
<p>She had one boy in mind, a Prince…well, King, she hadn’t seen since she was a child. She knew he was here because she had peaked at the guest list, his name at the very top as if it was some sort of sign for her. Roxy didn’t really know what to look for besides black hair, stark and surprising in the crowd of blondes and brunettes.</p>
<p>She wouldn’t know him by his crown, maybe that says something about her, but she assumed that because it was once his fathers, it would be bigger and better than hers or her brothers. He might also be one of the only other people in the room wearing one. </p>
<p>Suddenly, she saw it. A head of black hair at the far corner of the ballroom, not among the dancers but standing facing away from her talking and drinking. The crown was hard to see but he was wearing one, it was a full circle of bright gold, his hair poking and curling around it. </p>
<p>Roxy weaved through the crowds of people standing on the outer square of the dancefloor, her dress balled up in a fist as she rushed to get to him, as if she didn’t get to him fast enough someone else would. </p>
<p>He turned to her as she quickly met his side, dropping her dress and hastily straightened it out. His face was confused for only a second, looking at her from top to bottom to top, eyes lighting up and a big smile forming on his face. </p>
<p>“Roxanne!” he laughed, taking the hand she gave to him and kissed it gently. </p>
<p>“You must call me Roxy, please” she insisted, squeezing his hand before they pulled away from each other.</p>
<p>John Egbert, the new king of Thailand, was no longer 6 years old. Now he towered over her, much taller than her own father, his face much more sharp and less chubby. He was still a stout man, but he wasn’t the marshmallow armed kid she had met him as. John smiled wide and it was handsome, his teeth were so white it seemed unnatural, like a painting, and he had deep dimples that sunk into his face. </p>
<p>“You know I was just asking about you, Roxy, I was excited to see you after all this time!” </p>
<p>“It’s been too long, I could hardly recognize you” Roxy laughed, gesturing her hands in a wide and exciting gesture towards him. </p>
<p>“I wish my father was here to see you, you’ve grown so much prettier, he would love to see you wearing that necklace…”</p>
<p>Across his left cheek, slicing through one of his adorable dimples, was a scar. Following it with her eyes, Roxy could see it started just under his eye, sweeping down his cheek and under his jaw, the scar was then hidden by his collar, hiding if it continued to the chest or stopped at the neck. </p>
<p>“Well uh,“ John spoke, knocking her out of her trance, rubbing his thumb over the scar nervously and glancing away. Roxy blushed again in realizing how rude she had been to stare at it, especially since the skin revealed it was relatively new “, how have you been, Princess?” </p>
<p>“I’ve been alright! I'm a little bored if I'm able to be honest with you…”</p>
<p>“Bored all year or just at this party?” </p>
<p>“I guess i’ve been bored all year, but parties like these aren’t really my thing either” she admitted, realizing the company he had been keeping was gone. </p>
<p>John swished his drink around, his face going serious as he looked around the room, as if he was deep in thought. “Parties don’t do much but put me on edge anymore” he mumbled like he really didn’t intend on her to hear him, or take what he said seriously. </p>
<p>Roxy frowned, his solemn energy spoke a thousand words and her heart wrenched in the silence, turning her head to look out the window. It was almost dark, and people were still arriving. Roxy grabbed Johns drink, making a look of confusion as she sat it on the window, scooping up his gloved hand. It was big. </p>
<p>“Let’s get some air, before it’s too dark!” He grinned at her as if she was making a joke, looking around again, “Won’t you get in trouble?” he asked, shaking his head. </p>
<p>“<em> Who cares </em>” she groaned, tugging on him gently, taking a step backwards. John nodded in agreement, squeezing her hand and letting her guide him.</p>
<p>She pulled him up the stairs, noticing Dirk and Jane had left and gone somewhere new, the stairs empty of anybody but the two of them. Roxy ducked her head down like that would hide her, the crowned princess at a ball thrown at her palace, from any glancing eyes. John covered his mouth to laugh, mimicking her and running up the stairs behind her.</p>
<p>They slipped behind the door, Roxy peaking back out to see if anyone met her eyes, discovering the coast was clear. </p>
<p>“Do you sneak around often?” John quizzed</p>
<p>“That’s top secret, your highness” she teased, taking his hand in hers again. </p>
<p>They slipped around the halls, avoiding housemaids that would have to escort them back to the ballroom floor, making it to the veranda door. The couple stepped outside, the sweet summer breeze nipping at their face. </p>
<p>John took in a deep breath “it’s beautiful out here…” </p>
<p>He wasn’t wrong, the castle sat on a large cliffside, the trip to the kingdom was a descend on a swirling street, and the castle looked over miles of forest, and if you could get far enough, the Baltic sea. It was a sharp descent down the cliff side, hundreds of feet, but they have acres of land behind the palace before that was even a worry. The actual land before them was fields of grass and Rhizomatous perennial, but Roxy just called them Rhizomes. It was a common flower in Russia, some calling it a weed or grass, but this many was still attractive to look at. </p>
<p>“It’s quiet back here, so i like it” Roxy admired the flowers, leaning against the support beam holding the roof over them. </p>
<p>“I like it too, thank you for showing me” John spoke quietly, as if matching the energy of the fields. </p>
<p>Roxy pushed herself off the beam, putting her hands behind her back and slowly walking to meet John's side, looking up at the large man. He didn’t take any time looking back at her, and if she wasn’t sure she might even say he already was. Looking up into his eyes she realized they were blue, a feeling of dread and anxiety and romance filled her stomach all at once— how stunning. She hadn’t seen very many Thai men but she was certain blue wasn’t very common because of how striking they were. Roxy was instantly taken aback by his lovely face in a way that was different than before, she looked at him before with a sense of acknowledgment, and now she looked at him with a sense of appreciation. He was handsome in a way that no other Russian men were, or European men for that matter, maybe Roxy was discovering a preference in that small stare, and now she was desperate for him. </p>
<p>Roxy cursed herself for even teasing herself with the concept of love at first sight, as if love had anything to do with her goal here. </p>
<p>But maybe now, her goal had fled her mind in those few seconds, and maybe now she was so distracted she could hardly remember why she had seeked him out in the first place. </p>
<p>“Tell me about yourself Roxy, I hardly remember you” John finally spoke, breaking their silence.</p>
<p>“Well what do you want to know?”</p>
<p>“Anything- <em> Everything </em>” he laughed “you’ll know if it’s important because it’ll be the first thing you think of” </p>
<p>Roxy rocked on her heels, frowning and thinking, pulling her hands in front of her and fiddling with the lace of her skirt. “Ah well… I love to be outside, I love swimming and horseback riding, especially with my brothers-“ </p>
<p>“I love knitting with my sister, Rose, you never met, she wasn’t born those times you visited. She’s sick right now and can’t attend the ball but she’ll come around soon, you’ll be here awhile won’t you?” </p>
<p>John nodded “For the week, yes” </p>
<p>Roxy felt an unfamiliar feeling of sadness, realizing that it wasn't very long at all, and he wouldn’t be staying at the palace either, would she even see him? </p>
<p>“Oh...well I should hope to see you more than just tonight” she admitted</p>
<p>“You say that like the nights over” he smiled, playfully elbowing her “-tell me more about yourself, princess” </p>
<p>Roxy laughed at him, smacking his arm away gently. “I love sword fighting, my father has never been shy about teaching me but my mother says it is embarrassing for a woman to fight and know a sword…”</p>
<p>“She thinks everything I do is embarrassing, she’s awful to me” Roxy continued, crossing her arms. </p>
<p>John frowned, taking her hand in his for the 100th time tonight, not that Roxy was complaining. “I think it’s quite cool, my father didn’t teach even me to use a sword” he related. </p>
<p>Roxy’s eyes went wide in disbelief, putting her hands on her hips “<em> really </em>!?” </p>
<p>“Yes! yes, he thought it wasn’t my place to know how to fight, as a prince and all” he squeezed her hand.</p>
<p>She laughed at him, reaching her other hand up to be held in his as well. Something was natural about holding his hand, something was natural about being with him this way. The way they spoke and joked and behaved, they fit together like puzzle pieces finishing a picture. Roxy felt so connected to him but she'd spent nearly her entire life so far not speaking to him, not even knowing his full name. She found herself hoping he felt the same, squeezing his fabric covered hand. </p>
<p>She longed to feel his palm and his fingers, a man who’s never fought with or touched a sword must have the most beautiful hands in the world. </p>
<p>“May I write to you, when you go away?” Roxy blurted, hating to sound so desperate. </p>
<p>Johns eyes filled with excitement, lighting up when she asked him, and if her eyes weren’t playing tricks on her she’d even say he seemed relieved she asked him. </p>
<p>“Yes, of course you can” he smiled down at her with something so genuine she couldn’t describe it.</p>
<p>“We” she paused, realizing how close they were, so close she could feel his breath just barley on her cheek “, we should go inside and dance, before my mother realizes i’m not on the floor with the others” </p>
<p>Johns grip on her hand loosened, and he pulled his face away, his face cycling through several different emotions before he settled on a smile.</p>
<p>“Yes, I'd hate to make a bad impression!” </p>
<p>Roxy smiled, still holding his hand as she led him back inside, the distant music hitting her ears as she thought about his blue eyes in the comfort of her own head. </p>
<p>———</p>
<p>Dave had no chance the second his mother pulled him into the dancing line, introducing him to the youngest princess from Germany, pushing them to dance together for the next few songs to see if they “got on”.</p>
<p>She was bland like flat bread and although she was beautiful she wasn’t doing much for Dave, much besides making him extremely uncomfortable with her advances. He found himself falling into her lead as the dance progressed, her spinning him and holding his hip, taking lead in the dance as he let her limply manipulate him. </p>
<p>She spoke fast and high and mostly about herself, stopping only every few sentences to compliment Dave on his dancing or his outfit, although he wasn’t dancing more then he was being thrown around. </p>
<p>He would pass his brother every so often, dancing with the English princess as she spoke, he was smiling but his face gave away his disinterest. Dave hated how ungrateful and mean Dirk was, always so vicious and horrible to everyone around him— even Roxy some days, even when she was perfectly herself. </p>
<p>Finally though, they made it to the edge of the dance floor, the farthest side to the back, where no one was standing in a crowd around the ballroom floor, no one drinking or talking, only two pillars and a door, which was being guarded. Dave squinted, trying to recognize the guard standing watch, being caught off guard into a spin, causing him to stumble and spin out of her grasp. </p>
<p>He looked up quickly, attempting to retake her hands, but as the groups switched partners mid song, she was sucked away into the cluster and he was pushed back and off the floor. </p>
<p>Dave stepped backwards, catching his cape under his foot and choking himself, tripping and smashing into something- <em> someone </em>behind him. </p>
<p>“Ack! Oh-“ he swore, his toes pointed in at each other and his knees bent, realizing suddenly that someone was holding him by the armpits, like a child. </p>
<p>Dave pulled himself away quickly, spinning to turn and see the unlucky speed bump, his cape fluttering behind him magically. His hands went up in a natural defense, only to realize quickly, as any person who applied their common sense, that it was the same guard who had been standing at the door the entire night. </p>
<p>But still, even this close to him, Dave had no idea who he was. </p>
<p>“Your majesty, are you alright?” the man asked, his voice muffled by his helmet. Dave narrowed his eyes at him, reaching up and tugging upwards on his helmet, only to be stopped by shockley larger hands than his own, peeling his hands away and respectfully removing them.</p>
<p> “Who are you!” Dave asked accusingly. </p>
<p>The guard shifted uncomfortably, glancing around and ultimately refusing to remove his helmet. “I’m Karkat” he answered, his voice softer than before. Dave realized he was still in a threatening stance, dropping his shoulders and hands, grabbing the sides of his cape and wrapping them around his sides nervously. </p>
<p>“Well i’ve never heard that name” he asked suspiciously, scowling at the guard. </p>
<p>“Shouldn’t you go back to dancing?” the guard shooed him, annoyed in his tone. Dave let a small smirk shake on to his face, surprised by the man’s bluntness, especially since Dave wasn’t used to someone not treating him like a ticking bomb made of priceless china, all lathered in butter. </p>
<p>“I don’t like dancing” Dave claimed, reaching back up to fasten his hands to the sides of his helmet, tugging. Karkat was bent over with the thrust, putting his hands over Dave’s hands and fighting to keep his helmet on. They spun in circles as they played tug of war, Karkat stumbling as Dave lifted his feet off the ground, shifting all his weight against Karkat's head. </p>
<p>They both stumbled backwards until Karkat barely managed to wrap his fingers around the handle of the door, holding them both up. “Okay, fine!” Karkat shouted, Dave finally putting a foot to the ground, letting go of the guard. </p>
<p>Dave looked behind him, to make sure they hadn’t made a scene, and to his surprise no one had noticed them at all. If they had been noticed, no one cared enough to continue staring at them. </p>
<p>He turned and was met with a curveball, Karkat shaking out his hair from its messy helmeted state. He wasn’t anything like Dave was expecting, and Dave really was expecting the worst based on the fight Karkat put up against him. </p>
<p>His features were strong and unlike any Russian man, his skin was a dark tan, olive was the best descriptor in Dave’s vocabulary. He had never seen a man of this color, or with these features. His nose was strong and his hair was as black as an empty room, wisps of facial hair on his upper lip which showed his age; not much older then Dave. Karkat was Latin, maybe Spanish, his skin clear and soft, no freckles or blemishes, so perfect he looked like a statue. Dave wanted so much to reach out and touch his face but he knew better. His eyes were almost black, but Dave knew intelligently that they were dark brown, his eyelashes long and beautiful. His hair was something to admire all on its own, thick with curls and messy, so much of it that he looked like a lion. </p>
<p>Dave stared at Karkat with flushed cheeks and a wide mouth, nervous and confused by what he was looking at. It wasn’t in a negative way, infact Karkat was one of the most handsome men Dave had ever set his eyes on, his agape mouth couldn’t form the words to say so. </p>
<p>Maybe he wished to not say so, because if he let himself speak, he might say something completely Inappropriate </p>
<p>“Don’t look at me like that” Karkat defended himself, Dave realizing how foolish he had been. He quickly fixed his face, dropping his cape to grab Karkats helmet, to stop him from putting it back on. </p>
<p>“No!” he choked, desperation coating his throat “, i’m sorry i wasn’t trying to be rude.” </p>
<p>Dave couldn’t pretend he wasn’t hopelessly in love with Karkat, he hadn’t been able to pretend with any other crush he had, especially with a man as beautiful as this one. He knew better then to be attracted to men, really trying as hard as he could to see a woman he could love. He had seen thousands of beautiful women, knowing ever since he was a child that he would never marry happily. </p>
<p>It was the maids sons, the stable boys, his father's friends, and the knights he would fawn over. Spinning around his room, imagining their hands around him, writing love letters before ripping them up until they were unreadable. </p>
<p>“You should get back to dancing” Karkat persisted, his own face flushed and embarrassed. Dave nibbled on the edge of his nail, looking up at Karkat one more time, scanning and learning his entire face. </p>
<p>“Come see me tonight” Dave insisted, still clinging to his helmet. As if Karkat knew of his intentions, his face turned red and uncomfortable, tugging against him again. </p>
<p>“I shouldn’t do that.”</p>
<p>“Only for a second! I need to give you something” Dave pushed, letting go of his helmet to signify that the conversation had ended. </p>
<p>Karkat opened his mouth as if to refuse, but quickly slipped his head back into the helmet. Dave turned to see his mother, who didn’t seem too pleased with him. “David why aren’t you dancing?!” she scolded rhetorically. She grabbed his arm, looking up at Karkat with narrow eyes, giving him a respectful smile and tugging Dave away. </p>
<p>He looked back again, Karkat looking down and his fingers brushing over the metal that Dave had been clenched on to, shuffling to regain composure after the interaction. </p>
<p>Dave knew he’d be seeing Karkat tonight, thinking of all the things he needed to tell him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Jane over for tea</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dave wakes up to a busy morning, Rose is ill, and Jane is here for lunch.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>In the first chapter I was trying to cram as much of the plot points as i could, but now that i’ve got your attention i’m gonna work and try my best to give every character and storyline the expansion it deserves!</p><p>Also around the end there is a Dirk/Jake kissing scene and Jake could come off as a little forceful, please be weary! Absolutely nothing Non-Con!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Dave had undressed himself, his pants loose and baggy around his ankles, his shirt sliding down his shoulder no matter how many times he tugged it back over. His hand was stained in ink from writing so quickly, having rubbed the skin rough in the space between his pointer finger and thumb a long time ago. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Every clank of armor and aimless chatter made him jump, writing everything he could down on the small</span>
</p><p>
  <span>piece of paper. Finally he ran dry of things to say, signing his name and folding the letter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He reached for the wax spoon, resting over a candle, before stopping. If he stamped the letter, and someone found it they would know it was him, this would make them feel interested and open the letter. Any man in the kingdom could be named David, but only one David had this stamp. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If anyone knew it was him who wrote this letter, it would cost his head for sure. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave took the candle away from the wax, letting it harden, blowing out the flame. His room got a little darker and his nerves higher— what if Karkat didn’t show up? He would have embarrassed himself for sure, and he could never speak to Karkat again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not that this letter wasn’t embarrassing, the second Karkat read that there was no going back. It’s not like Karkat could tell anyone, call it selfish but Dave knew if Karkat attempted to alert anyone of his homosexuality then he could have Karkat killed for blasphemy against the royal family, especially since the letter had no stamp. Very clever, Dave. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally he heard a soft knock on his door, slipping the letter in the waistband of his pants, hidden by his loose shirt. Opening the door slowly he saw a familiar face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat had removed his helmet, the hallway dead empty besides the two of them. Dave hoped for it to stay this way, having no excuse to tell anyone as to why this helmetless guard was standing in his room at such an indecent hour. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The long hallway of windows lit him up with moonlight, and Dave without any windows inside his bedroom, was surprised as the moonlight bursted into the room. His black curls stuck out starkly with the white light on the back of his head, the moon in the perfect position to light up not only Karkat, but the entire hallway with light and it felt so romantic. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You asked for me?” Karkat asked, knowing the answer</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes” Dave answered anyway “i wanted to give you something.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkats face was confused, tucking his helmet closer to his body, scanning the part of Dave’s room he could see. Dave hesitated, reaching into his shirt and grabbing the letter, but held it in his hand instead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t tell anyone what this letter says” Dave’s voice was shaky and any attempt at being assertive was lost in his anxiety. Taking a deep breath he took the letter from his waistband and handed it to Karkat with trembling hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat took it from him, staring down at it and rubbing his hand over the expensive paper of the envelope. He looked up at him with his dark and serious eyes, his face both fearful and confused, his cheeks still red with embarrassment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave was just half a foot smaller then Karkat, and although Dave was too embarrassed to ask how old he was, he was certain him and Karkat could only be a few years apart, Karkat being older. His obvious misunderstanding of how to act, the soft and wispy facial hair he had, and though he was broad you could tell he still had a lot of growing to do. He was undoubtedly handsome but not in the way his Father or his friends were, handsome in the way a teenage boy from a novel would be. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want me to…” Karkat flipped up the lip of the envelope, insinuating that he was going to read it right in the moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“NO” Dave grabbed the letter but didn’t rip it from Karkats hands, folding it closed again and pushed it softly against his chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Write me back as soon as you can, I put extra paper behind my letter, just in case you couldn’t find any”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat snorted at the implication that he was too poor to afford paper. It wouldn’t be as well made and soft as the pristine paper used to craft this one, but he could certainly find a piece or two. Regardless he nodded, hiding the letter away between his chest and his armor, looking up at Dave and basking in the very awkward silence between the two men. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay” Dave finally broke the silence and pushed Karkat by his chest back into the hallway, backing into his room and partially closing his door “, write me soon”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And with that he shut the door, leaving Karkat to do whatever he pleased, turning away from the door and and facing the rest of his room. It was dark in his room because Dave did not have the pleasure of having a room with a window, as mentioned before, relying solely on candlelight to make his room bright in the mornings and he nights. It was almost scary in the way that many parts of his big room sat in darkness, the candle not quite able to reach every corner. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His bed was pressed up against the wall on its side against the farthest wall of his bedroom, a satin sheet draped over the entire thing, having to open it like a curtain anything he wanted to sleep. It made him feel so elegant so he never minded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But that didn’t stop his bed from being in the darkest spot of his room, always afraid to light a candle on his bedside table in case his sheets or curtain caught fire and destroyed all of his things. Ever since he was a child he would run and jump into the bed, eyes squeezed shut and on the tip of his toes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now, though, he walked calmly to his bed, reaching to pull open the curtain before he kicked something next to the bed and a loud clang and clatter slid across the floor. Dave squealed, cringing all up his neck before jumping with his legs upwards and landing in the bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked out towards the noise, trying to focus in the dark but he simply couldn’t, unsure visually as to what he kicked. Knowing better by the familiar clang he was certain it was his sword, his shoulders shaking against as he brought his knees close to his chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave didn’t have time to think about that, his stomach spinning and turning with butterflies as he thought about the letter. How could he write such inappropriate things to someone? Could he really get away with it if Karkat was disgusted with him? Could he live with himself? To never see those beautiful brown eyes again because of his own rushed confession. Did he possibly lose him as a friend forever? He couldn’t stop himself from crying. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave’s eyes slowly closed, scooting backwards and leaning comfortably against the wall, laying his head on his knees and crossed arms and dozing off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It felt like mere seconds before Dave was shaken awake by sunlight hitting his eyes. Opening his eyes slowly he realized he had slipped himself under the blanket, laying on his stomach, lifting his head to the room around him. His bedroom door was open letting in the sunlight, his bed curtain being pinned open.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sitting up completely he could see the sword he had kicked across the room was now propped up against the wall and the sheath back on the sword. Infact, his entire floor was cleared, and his desk had been cleaned and his things organized, his desk chair being pulled out and away from the table. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave stretched, whining slightly and smacking his lips, ruffling his hair so it didn’t stick up everywhere. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kanaya walked into his room seconds later, holding a bucket of soapy water, turning and looking at him with shock and with a smile. “Good morning, young prince” she spoke in her elegant voice, sounding like she should be wearing expensive jewelry and beautiful dresses and not cleaning his bedroom. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you cleaning my room?” Dave asked in a tender quiet voice, tugging on his shirt to untwist it. Kanaya sat the bucket on the floor, wiping her hands on her apron and looking around the room. “Well i’m not really supposed to say, but we’re sanitizing the entire palace”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?” his face scrunched in confusion, throwing his legs over the side and throwing the blanket down the bed. She walked to him, pulling his shirt closed and clasping it shut so it stopped sliding down his shoulders. “Do you need help dressing? Do you wish for me to leave” she asked, leaning down to take the bucket handle again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh it’s okay! you can continue i'm not gonna be </span>
  <em>
    <span>naked</span>
  </em>
  <span> or anything” he joked using a funny voice, making Kanaya laugh and roll her eyes, waving at him dismissively. Dave giggled and rounded his bed, opening his closet and scouting out his outfit choices. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shook his sleeves down his arms, tightening them around his wrists and pulling on his vest. It buttoned up tight against his chest, it was a beautiful deep red color and was swayed with gold thread, well fitted to his skinny frame. Grabbing his boots by the top he sat on the side of his bed and pulled them on, his pants tucked into the boots, bunching up slightly at the top, lacing them up tightly. They were cute black boots, making his feet look bigger then they really were. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking up at Kanaya with tired eyes, Kanaya met him with a smile, continuing to scrub the floor. The way she looked at him was different, as if she knew something she shouldn't. Dave stepped over the wet floor, slipping into the hallway and yawning. It was early in the morning, the sun just barely over the horizon, making the world around him glow orange and beautiful. Dave loved waking up early in theory, tired but happy to wake up with the sky. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Quickly he noticed that the castle was more awake then usual, house servants rushing around the halls and every window and door that could open, was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was strange to see everything like this because it definitely never was, especially in the morning. He usually wasn’t woken up by someone scrubbing his bedroom floors either, even if it was Kanaya. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave turned the corner to the hallway his sister Rose slept in, the corredor swarmed with people cleaning and sweeping, her bedroom door shut. He walked towards them to learn what was happening before being stopped by the shoulder, looking over his shoulder to see his Mom. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mama, what’s going on?” he turned completely to face her, her hand still soft on his shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning, how did you sleep?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh well.. I slept fine” he stuttered, realizing his mom was trying to avoid his questions “what’s going on?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s nothing for you to be concerned with darling, simply cleaning the castle a little better this time around is all” she insisted. Her face was tired and it seemed she hadn’t slept as well as Dave pretended he had, obviously dealing with something stressful. He had always been a Mama's boy, clung to her like a monkey no matter where they went, trusting every word she said to him. Although he knew she was hiding something, she wasn’t lying. They were cleaning the castle a lot better than usual, but there was a deeper meaning. With Rose missing the most important dance of the season, and now her room being swarmed and quarantined, he assumed she must be the cause of all of this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now David,” she cut into his deep thought “have you seen your brother yet?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave shook his head no, shrugging and continuing to stare at Roses bedroom. Roxanne squeezed his shoulder firmly, Dave finally turning to meet her eyes again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t mess with Rose today, okay?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave’s face twitched with suspicion, and knowing that even if he pressed his mother she wouldn’t lose her temper with him and eventually crack, he decided not to add more stress to the pot of stressful things she appeared to be dealing with right now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No promises” he joked, scrunching his nose at her, making her laugh and mess up his hair, walking behind him and pushing him back towards his room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So funny David, now go make yourself busy” she chuckled, lifting her hand suddenly “oh! and if you see your brother send him to me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave agreed, waving at her before walking the opposite direction down the hallway, turning into Dirks hallway instead. His door was standing open, a good handful of people cleaning around the place as well, but as he walked past the room he saw it was empty of Dirk, only his things present. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave knew Roxy wasn’t awake, she had always been fashionably unorganized, skipping his search through her room and down the stairs. The cleaning followed him everywhere, but he couldn’t say he didn’t love how awake the whole castle felt. Chatter and movement made the castle feel breezy and awake. This summer's morning is not too hot but perfectly sunny with a bit of breeze to accommodate. He could feel every inch of the outside air as every hole in the castle was open, even downstairs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peeking his head into every room he could without being blocked or stopped, roaming aimlessly around the castle looking for his brother. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally he noticed the sitting room door was closed, a surprise in comparison to every other place in the palace, Dave slowly cracking the door and looking inside. The second he opened the door, arguing between familiar voices flooded into the small space he was standing in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dirk and his father were standing with their backs to the door, Dirk standing closest to the door and his Dad reorganizing books on the shelves in the room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So that’s it?” Dirk sounded angry, more vicious then the petty arguments he had with Dave and Roxy often. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s it” Derek answered, throwing his hand up as if that was such an impossible concept for Dirk to understand, Dave wishing to simply understand what they were arguing over. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why can’t Dave do it? he’s not a child anymore” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know your mother would never send him in that room right now, i’m surprised she’s even letting him sleep so close to her” Bro chuckled, shaking his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh but it’s fine if I do it right? Because she doesn’t give a fuck about me” Dirk spit, their father turning so quickly Dave was surprised his head didn’t fly off. Dave cringed at the harsh swear, afraid to ever speak to their father in such an impolite way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you insist on being so disrespectful all the time, Derek?” Bro slammed the book back down on the table amongst other piles of books. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Disrespectful </span>
  </em>
  <span>?! She’s been sick her entire life, she never had a goddamn chance and i’m sorry i don’t wish to risk my life for someone who is destined to </span>
  <em>
    <span>die</span>
  </em>
  <span>! I don’t know how long you’ll both insist on nourishing that sick dying-“ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dirk was cut off with a sharp smack too loud and forceful he was sent stumbling sideways and caught himself on an armchair. Dave flinched with it, squeezing the doorknob and biting his lip. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dirk stayed propping himself up in silence, holding his cheek and breathing heavily. Bro looked angry beyond anything Dave had ever seen, turning back to his books, picking them up one by one, wiping them with a cloth, and putting them back on the shelves. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll go upstairs and do as your mother has asked, and you will not say a word of what you said to me or anything like it unless you wish to face the wrath your mother will have waiting for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dirk nodded silently, standing up straight and straightening out his vest, turning towards the door to leave. Dave let go of the handle, quickly backing up and quickly pretended he had only just gotten to the door as Dirk swung it open. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dirk was surprised to see Dave, his face giving it away, furrowing his brows in an anger Dave wouldn't have understood if he hadn’t snooped on their conversation. The mark on his face however wouldn’t have been ignorable, his cheek so flaming red it looked like Roxy had caked ruse all over his jaw. It looked like it hurt still, his eyes betraying the fact that he had been crying, puffy and wet and his eyes glossy, he looked sad. He always did, however, and Dave hated it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning! Mom wants to-“ he was cut off,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah i know Dave, go away” his voice was venomous, pushing past him and quickly up the stairs. Dave watched him from the bottom, not bothering to follow him. Had he really talked about their sister in such a way? Was she really so ill she couldn’t be seen? Why would Dirk have to deal with it? Dave watched him until he disappeared, frowning about all the things his family had been hiding from him.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>However, Dirk had the opposite problem, feeling as if he wished his family hid more from him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dirk carried himself up the stairs angrily, rolling his jaw and wiping his eyes routinely to not give himself away. Rubbing his cheek he reached the top of the stairs, turning down the hall to meet his mother in Roses hallway. She turned to meet his eyes, hardly sharing a smile with him as she reached out to take his shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dirk, good morning, did you speak to Dave?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I spoke to father” he answered quietly, rolling his eyes and shaking his head at the spectacle surrounding Rose and her illness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mother scowled at him “please Dirk, having some compassion for her.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dirk whipped his head towards her, opening his mouth to say something, but stopped himself. He knew that if he spoke to her the way he had his father, not only would he shatter her heart but she’d go so crazy on him that he wouldn’t walk straight for a week. He knew he was his father's favorite, and he knew he was his mother’s least, he had been playing this game since he was a child. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mother passed him her gloves, Dirk taking them and slipping his slender fingers into them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why do </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>have to do it? I’m not a doctor” Dirk asked annoyed, taking the bowl of soup from one of the nurses. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You aren’t, but she won’t accept any food from anyone, not even Kanaya” she sighed “I think you’ll have better luck. You’ve always gotten along with your sisters Dirk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She likes Dave better.” Dirk scoffed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mom narrowed her eyes, glaring so intensely at him that Dirk felt her eyes burning holes in him. “You will do as your told Dirk, I don’t want to hear anymore whining”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door was opened for him, maids peeking their heads in before the door was shut. The room was dark and hot, her bed surrounded in bowls and candles, medicines and plants scattered on her bedside table. He wasn’t alone in the room, Kanaya sitting beside her and patting her head with a damp cloth, assumably cold water seeing how red and swollen Rose was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her neck and face was covered in red splotches, her mouth bright red and irritated, her eyes closed. She looked near dead, yellow and pale anywhere she wasn’t red, her breathing labored. Dirk tensed up, swearing his throat already felt swollen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rose?” he asked softly, her eyes slowly opening to look at him, expressionless. Dirk walked over to the side of her bed, a chair already pulled to her bedside, Dirk sitting and holding the soup tightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mom said you weren’t eating, so I wanted to feed you” he lied, reaching his hand out to rub her cheek. She felt like fire, Kanaya dipping the rag back into her bowl and dabbing her neck. Rose coughed, Dirk rearing backwards and Kanaya covering her mouth, her fit lasting a few seconds. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It hurts to eat” Rose croaked, shaking her head in refusal. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You won’t need to chew or anything, it’s just broth, it’ll help with your throat” he listed, tipping the bowl just enough so it didn’t spill everywhere but she could see from her bedridden position “it might even help get rid of that cough?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rose looked at him, sighing before agreeing. Dirk smiled at her, lifting the bowl to her mouth as she opened it, pouring it slowly into her mouth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her tongue was swollen along with her throat, so red and inflamed he was surprised she could breath. His stomach turned and he regretted all of the hateful things he had said, looking at his sister like this was hard, her body so weak and her voice so soft in comparison to her usual snarky attitude. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She drank it all quickly, giving away how hungry she was, gasping for air between slurps. Dirk finally pulled the bowl away, setting it in his lap. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jesus, I wasn’t going to take it away” he laughed, making Rose smile. Dirk rubbed her hair back, sweat so thick on his head that he could feel it through his gloves, along with her heat. “What is it?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Scarlet fever” Kanaya spoke quietly, dabbing her forehead. Dirk frowned, letting out a deep sigh, biting his lip. “Didn't she have this already?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your mother said she did, once as a child” Kanaya nodded, dipping her cloth in the water again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She has it again? How” Dirk questioned, Rose rolling her eyes and laughing, followed by coughs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just my luck, right?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, in good news, the second time an illness comes around it’s usually easier to beat!” Kanaya reassured, squeezing Roses hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dirk watched them quietly, watching them interact closely. The way Kanaya rubbed the top of her hand with her thumb, squeezing lovingly as they stared deeply at each other. Kanaya rubbed the towel down her face, cupping her cheek and talking quietly between them, the two of the girls laughing. Dirk hesitated as he watched them, the way they spoke like lovers sparked him with jealousy. It reminded him about all the sacrifices he was making, how unhappy he was forcing himself to be, how even in her extreme illness she could find love in some servant. He did hold a level of remorse for her, understanding she was of no competition to him, her relationship would remain illegal and unallowed, and she would die. He had to remember that to keep from being bitter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dirk stood and rubbed her head one final time before leaving the room, shutting the door tightly and letting someone take the gloves off his hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did she eat?” Mom asked, catching him right outside the door, barley giving him a second to cycle the muggy air out of his lungs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All of it, the bowls on her table” he nodded, undoing his vest so he could slide it off his shoulders. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should bathe, Jane will be here soon” his mother warned, folding her arms behind her back to avoid touching him. Dirks face filled with dread, groaning and turning away from her, a woman leading him to the bathroom. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jane was the last person he wanted to see, better seeing as he wouldn’t be forced to eat with her alone, but still dreadful. She was so annoying, pompous, and hardly modest with her flirting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t mean to intrude” the soft voice behind him spoke up, Dirk looking down with focus “but you now use 5 letters of Jane’s you haven’t read, and reading them might be ideal before your lunch” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The small maid was barley half his height, thick black hair that curled around her cheeks, her face catlike in nature. On her face was the scar of a noticeable cleft lip, her lip upturned and her gums just barley hidden. She was pretty regardless with big eyes and strong brows, but her small body gave away her age. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her name was Nepeta, a new bed maid, just barley 13.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you have them?” Dirk asked, annoyed but not with her, rubbing his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do, I assume you’d like me to read to you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, that would be convenient” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kanaya told me you like to wash yourself, so i’m sure we can get through them all before you need to get ready” she spoke sternly, almost bossy with a determined smirk on her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dirk shook his head with a laugh, always preferring the invasive and rude maids, always a lot more fun to be around. He couldn’t put into words how much he hated the quiet ones, who stared at him and choked over every breath trying to be perfect in his presence. Nepeta was interesting, anyone trained by Kanaya would be, estranged and bold, not afraid to tell the future king that she was holding his very personal </span>
  <span>private conversations in her apron. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes i don’t really like being touched” he admitted</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well perfect cause i’ve never given anyone a bath before” she stated bluntly, fingering through the letters, presumably putting them in order of arrival. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dirk turned to the bathroom door, Nepeta pulling open with a struggle, letting Dirk enter before her. She was small but her flexing arms revealed she was rather strong, Dirk confused as to why she would fain weakness. He didn’t dwell on it long though, sitting down as she drew his bath, making a hissing sound as the hot water hit her hand, shaking the pain away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nepeta walked to him, setting the letters somewhere dry, awkwardly reaching to unbutton his shirt. Dirk put his hand over hers quickly, shaking his head and pushing her hand away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve got it” he watched the relief roll over her face, returning back to the bath to control it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dirk unbuttoned his shirt, letting the shirt and vest roll over his shoulders together, the cold air of the early morning finally hitting his shoulders as it cycled through the castle. He shivered, blowing air out of his mouth and pulling his feet up to rest on the seat, unlacing them and sliding them off quietly. He placed them on the floor gently, turning to watch Nepeta finish his bath before he fully undressed in front of her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was as shy as he was self-centered, embarrassed about his teenage scrawniness the other men in his life did not possess, not considering Dave of course. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Roxy is very open about her body” he spoke to Nepeta, who had just finished accidentally putting way too much  soap in the water “she’d walk around naked if it was a proper thing to do, but she doesn’t really let anyone touch her hair”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nepeta actually listened closely, holding onto everything he said to her like a teacher. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dave loves baths, especially when he doesn’t have to do any work. He’s like a child, you have to undress him and wash his body and hair, but he usually only lets Kanaya or Feferi wash him” Dirk warned</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh… thanks for telling me!” Nepeta smiled</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Kanaya isn't really allowed to tell you stuff like that, although I know she does. Just thought i’d put in my knowledge” he shrugged, standing as she finished preparing the water. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look away” he said sternly, Nepeta turning and covering her eyes for extra measure, tapping her foot impatiently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dirk took down the rest of his clothes, slipping into the deep bath and hiding himself in the soapy water, sinking all the way until his shoulders were submerged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nepeta turned back to him, giving him a satisfied nod before picking up the letters, picking the first one she wished to read and breaking the deal with a slide of her finger. “Are you ready?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whenever you are” he nodded, cupping water in his hands and splashing it in his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nepeta cleared her throat, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Dear Derek, </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m hoping my first letter gets to you quickly. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I am delighted to have your company and to write to such a handsome and intelligent man. I wish to see you soon, my brother is hoping to attend and meet you the next time I can see you. The palace is gorgeous and I could spend hours walking through it with you. Russia has such incredible architecture. I wish to live there someday with you. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Write soon, Jane. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nepeta folded it, sliding it back into the envelope and slipping it back into her pocket, glancing up at Dirk to see if he had anything to say. Dirk continued to wet down his hair, rubbing soap through it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Dear Derek, </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m embarrassed to write so soon again, especially since my first letter has certainly not arrived, but I have so much to say to you. How I wish someone would invent a quicker way to speak to you. I miss you so dreadfully and long to hold you, I wish i could turn and speak to you right now but I know this can’t be. Do you enjoy my company? I’m told often I speak too much and I hope I have not made that impression to you. You amaze me Derek, I dream of you every night. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Love, Jane.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dirk simply nodded, Nepeta scoffing and folding the letter up again, shoving it in her pocket along side the other. “Are you kidding me?!” she protested. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Dirk looked up confused, using a pitcher to rinse the soap from his hair, pushing to back so it didn’t drip in his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s in love with you, all of these letters are so romantic and you just don’t care?” she sounded offended, breaking open another letter and scanning it with her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t love her” Dirk told her, shrugging, cupping bubbles in his hands and clapping so they’d fly out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nepeta scowled “Listen to this,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Dear </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>Dirk</em>
  </b>
  <span>— Nepeta emphasised his nickname being used instead of his proper one, </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The rain has been horrible since I've returned home and I think it’s a sign I need to see you. I’ve been so sick with love since you’ve left my side and I’m begging to see you again. I received your invitation to the palace next week and I’m desperate because it couldn’t come sooner, I can not express my excitement…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Nepeta cut her off, the front to back writing of small letters giving away that Jane had a lot more to say. Nepeta sat the letter down and picked up another one she had already opened, looking at Dirk to make sure he was paying attention. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Dear Dirk, </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My heart yearns for you. I can’t live without you and I feel horrible to not see you. I write a million letters but am too embarrassed to send them, especially without your response. I hope I haven’t soured you on me my darling, I think i’ll die if i cannot marry you…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Nepeta smacked the letter against her thigh, throwing her arms outwards dramatically like Dirk was an idiot for not fawning over Jane. Nepeta was a child and didn’t understand, Dirk thought. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Her letters are flattering but that doesn’t change that I have no feelings for her” he said flatly, washing his arms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nepeta's face fell, a frown so exaggerated she looked like a toddler, an aura of genuine sorrow radiating off of her small frame. “You are going to break her heart” she mumbled, opening the final letter. Dirk watched the girl sadly smooth out the letter, deciding if he was forcing himself to marry Jane </span>
  <em>
    <span>anyway</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he might as well humor Nepeta.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She held up the letter, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Dearest Dirk,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This is my last letter before I leave for your palace. This letter will possibly beat me, so I wish to not take up too much time as I wish to not be repetitive. Although I'm embarrassed to say I think I must love you or die, my heart swollen with passion for you. I hope you feel the same, and treat me kindly the morning i am with you. If you are unkind to me i’m afraid my heart will break and I will die at your feet-</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Nepeta stopped, whining and sniffing, crying over the raw emotion she felt. Dirk, felt nothing, watching the young girl cry over the performance Jane was putting on for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>-so please do not break my heart Derek. I don’t beg of you to ask for my hand but please listen to me in the way that you do, you are the only man who has ever truly let me speak, even if what i’m saying may seem uninteresting. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Forever my heart is yours, Jane. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Nepeta looked at Dirk with unhappiness, folding the final letter and placing it gently in her pocket. “She’s so in love with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dirk nodded, sighing and smiling “Yes..she is” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nepeta walked to him, picking up his towels and robe, laying them neatly on the bathside stool, turning as Dirk requested earlier. The sound of splashing water filled the room as he stood, drying his legs and tying on his robe, the expensive fabric comfortable on his skin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know what“ he started, Nepeta turning to face him “, I think I understand Nepeta.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You do?” she mewled, her eyes lighting up like the hopeless romantic she was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How am I to say I don’t love her because she annoyed me one night? She obviously is torn over me, maybe it’s a sign I should give her another chance” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nepeta squealed, quickly correcting herself and standing straight, clearing her throat. “Yes! I’m so glad to hear, she sounds so lovely. I'm so excited to see you married!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She led Dirk out of the bathroom, walking with him to his room and talking up a storm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does she have black or blonde hair? I know a lot of english women have orange hair which would look so cute on your children, little princess running around with strawberry blonde hair how adorable-“ she rambled, making Dirk laugh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She met him at his door, shifting all of his dirty clothes to one arm to dig her letters out, handing them to him. “Read them again, to get in the mood” she prescribed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe I will” he nodded, ushering her that she was free to leave, the young girl waving at him with a cheesy smile before turning down the hall. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dirk shut his door, rolling his eyes and smacking the letters down on his desk, shaking off his robe and hanging it by the door— to be taken later. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t live without you” he whined, wrapping the robe sleeves around his naked shoulders, cuddling into it before laughing, throwing the fabric back over his shoulders and walking to his closet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He dressed appropriately, aware that Jane loved blue, buttoning up a white blouse before sliding on his mother's favorite of his blue vests, sewn with white flowers and abstract shapes, delicate as it was masculine. He wore white pants, tight and perfect for tea, putting on his favorite pair of black boots, almost to his knee in length. The laces were almost of ribbon texture and purely for looks, buckles on the backside being the true adhesions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Over top of all he put his baby blue jacket, covered in a thin stripe pattern, a popped color adding more attention to his chest, alongside the frill of his blouse sticking from the vest. Looking in the mirror he realized he looked older, broader and more handsome.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dirks hair dries quickly, flipping and laying in its natural position, all pushed back besides his bangs, which framed his face before following the flow of the rest of his hair pattern. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked handsome and expensive, his brown eyes especially prominent against all the bright white and blue. Walking to his desk he picked up the letters, removing them all from the envelope and sliding them gently into his pocket. Exiting his room he saw he had just in time, barely missed Roxy with the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Woah! Trying to kill me?” She jumped, her dress swaying, laughing at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was the plan this whole time!” he teased, jumping at her and putting his hands up like claws.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Roxy was wearing a breezy and thin white dress, fitted around her forearms and accentuating her breasts, frills and lace lining the entire thing around. Her bare shoulders and neck were skinny and beautiful as always, her hair pinned up instead of down and around her shoulders, her usual look. The lace and decorations stopped at her waist, a simple white skirt down to her feet, her closed toe shoes barely sticking out from under. She looked pretty, but that was normal for her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You look good” he repeated, pulling a curl from her tight bun and letting it fall in front of her ear. Roxy frowned, trying to smooth her hand over it to make it stick up again, with no luck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jane should be here any minute, so Mom wants you at the doors waiting for her” she teased, jabbing her knuckle into his stomach. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe I have to sit with her for hours-“ Dirk started to complain but Roxy cut him off with a laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” he asked defensively </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s just that you said hours, try</span>
  <em>
    <span> days</span>
  </em>
  <span>” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Days?</span>
  </em>
  <span>” he repeated with an irreplaceable face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s staying tonight and tomorrow before heading home, on Mother’s invitation” Roxy popped her lips, grinning evilly at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh I’ll </span>
  <em>
    <span>kill her</span>
  </em>
  <span>” he spit, rubbing his face in frustration, Roxy laughing at him in her playful sisterly way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll keep her busy most of the time, especially since Mom wants me to befriend her so she feels more welcome” she quoted with her fingers, shrugging like it didn't make sense. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s awful” Dirk said miserably, fixing his face and taking a deep breath “it’ll be fine”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Roxy smiled at him, taking lead as they went down the stairs. They met their mother and father at the door, not having to change to look elegant, they always dressed that way. Mom walked to Dirk, reaching up and rearranging his hair, manipulating it how she wanted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You look handsome” she smiled, pinching his cheek and running her hand down his jacket to smooth it out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If Mom said it, then it must be true; Dirk didn’t get many compliments from her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly the door was opened, two palace guards securing them open, the bright light of the sun and gust of wind shocking Dirk and making him squint. The sound of a carriage stopping and a horse whinny, followed by indistinguishable chatter, a familiar and daunting laugh, and finally a group of people came into view as they walked down the path to the doors. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jane, most recognizable, her brother, a few coachmen, and a young girl. Her hair long and black, big round glasses that took up too much of her face to remain flattering. He had no idea who she was, never mentioned in her letters, possibly a lady in waiting? He decided to ask about it later. The guards bowed at the center to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dirks eyes instantly shifted to her brother, something especially grabbing about him, Dirks face falling pale. He was marvelous, his jaw strong and coated in black facial hair, his nose upturned and his eyes possibly a green color. His skin was darker than his sisters, hers a very light pale color, but his seemingly tanned well from spending time outside. Jakob, was that his name? Yes it was. Jake was tall, incredibly so, almost 5 inches taller than his father, and he was strong. Dirk could tell he was strong even under all his clothing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt a burning in his face and a sinking in his stomach, confused by his instant pull to this man, especially someone related to someone he hated. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning” his mother greated, Jane bowing to her, Roxy bowing to her respectively. Dirk was snapped out of his trance when Jake looked at him, his face expressing confusion. Dirk shook his head and stepped forward, taking Janes hand and kissing it, rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb before letting go. Jane smiled at him, a big grin on her face, leaning in and kissing his cheek. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Turning he saw his mother, her face serious as ever with anything considering Dirk, his father smiling proudly. Bro wanted him to win, Mom simply did not.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t thank you enough for inviting me to stay at your wonderful palace, it’s an honor to be a guest” Jane turned to the King and Queen, curtsying again. His mother reached out to touch her shoulder, suddenly a smile on her face so bright and wide it looked painted on, pushing her to stand again. His mother was good at that, putting on any emotion she felt necessary for the situation, but he could see the coldness that he knew so well in his mother, he learned it from the best.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course! We love to see you, especially Dirk” she teased, patting her shoulder playfully and making her laugh. Dirk clenched his teeth and took in a sharp breath, realizing how terrible that would look for him, especially with Jake’s eyes fixed on him, playing it off for embarrassment with a laugh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop it, you’re embarrassing me” he chuckled, Jane turning to him with a bashful smile and big eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mom clapped her hands together, grabbing the attention of everyone in the room, even Jake who was burning holes into Dirks blazer. “Okay!” she began, picking up her dress slightly so she could quickly walk ahead of the group “lunch is waiting for us, Dirk you should show Jane to her room first? Jake and Jade, please come with us and we’ll have your things moved for you!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She then turned to Dirk, waiting for him to take the first move, everyone in the room was. From his mother, Roxy grumbling uncomfortably, the servants clutching to their luggage already in fear of ruining anything, and Jake who seemed obsessed with Dirk in the passion that he stared into him with. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jane most of all, restless. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, that was my first plan” he smiled, smiling more in the past 30 minutes then he often did in a week, feeling unnatural. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jane took his arm, everyone began to move quickly and Dirk and Jane quickly beat up the stairs by staff. They now stood alone, the chatter of their families disappearing into the courtyard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve had so much i've been meaning to say to you” Dirk claimed, putting his hand over hers, which was wrapped around his forearm. Her eyes lit up with what seemed to be relief, not writing her had been not only a mental health practice but also a strategy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To be completely honest I was afraid I had annoyed you” </span>
  <em>
    <span>bingo</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No! Of course not, I lived to read those letters, they flatter me in a way i’ve never been flattered before” Dirk found himself talking like her, matching her mannerisms and even the way she spoke. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are too kind to me…” she blushed, leaning against his arm as she walked. Dirk had this in the bag, and all worry and tenseness of competition had left his mind. With Roxy seemingly not looking, Rose dying, and Dave’s incompetence, he never really had any competition to begin with. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The couple turned to her room, the guests sleeping up the opposite staircase then the siblings rooms, being able to see Jake’s room from Roxy's bedroom door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The room was not personal, perfectly pristine for any guests and recently cleaned. The only unique thing about the room was that this was the only room in the castle with a dark wood desk and bed frame. Jane let go of Dirk and spun once in the room, pulling his hands close to her cheek and smiling wide. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so excited to be staying with you!” she cheesed, turning to face him and straighten out her dress. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The staff had long since left the room, her things sat neatly at the foot of the bed for her to organize. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The closet is empty besides spare blankets, the place gets cold at night” Dirk rambled “and you can put all your shoes in that, and if you brought any jewelry there is a box on the desk-“ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dirk!” Jane cut him off making him look up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he looked at her, her warm lips pressed against his cheek. Dirk stood straight suddenly, taking in a sharp breath and looking at her with wide eyes. Jane looked at him with a nervous expression, face bright red and she slipped past him and out the door. Dirk reached up and touched the spot she had kissed, face going tense. He walked to the vanity mirror, a very small print of lipstick on his cheek. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dirk scrunched his nose and shook his head, trying to rub it off but only smudging it more. He decided to leave it be, turning and following her quickly out of the room. “Wait for me-“ he called to her, Jane was so embarrassed that she couldn’t look at him, her hands trembling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed, rolling his eyes and putting his fingers under her chin, pushing it up and returning the kiss on her cheek. Jane gasped, giggling happily and wrapping her arms around his neck in a tight hug, standing on her toes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh!” she exclaimed, resting her head on his chest with a deep sigh “I just love you!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dirk laughed nervously, rubbing her head and gently pushing her away. Still holding her face he rubbed her cheek, to keep the Illusion going, smiling warmly at her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We should go downstairs don’t you think?” he suggested, reaching to take her hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes of course! I’m so excited to introduce you to my siblings!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She let him lead, pulling her down the stairs and taking her outside, sounds of the outdoors flooding into the castle as he opened the door, allowing her to go first. They walked down the pavement, beautiful flowers lining their paths and into their garden, extensive and beautiful, the sounds of birds in the fruit trees. In the center of the garden was a Gazino made of white stone, it was a large thing, a circle in the middle surrounded by their families. A fence surrounding the circle, an opening right at the front with one step, two large rose bushes in pots at the front pillars. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jade ran around the flowers with Dave, and although he was two or three years older than her, were able to run around and have fun like children. Everyone was laughing and having fun, Jake calling out to Jane when he saw her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jane! Just in time, do you remember the time you-“ and Dirk drowned him out, his nonsense becoming nothing as he stared at him. Why did Jake sound so stupid, just in the way that Jane did, but he was so attractive? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop it! Why do you have to embarrass me everywhere we go!” She whined, everyone laughing together. Dirk pulled out a chair for Jane, taking a seat between her and Roxy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How is England this time of year?” Mom asked, taking a sip of her drink and squinting, the sun in her eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s rainy, lots of thunder and lightning unfortunately” Jake answered, leaning backwards in his chair slightly, balancing in the back two legs. You could tell he was restless and uncomfortable. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But it’s so beautiful here, not too hot and not too</span>
</p><p>
  <span>cold!” Jane complimented, as if the Royal family determined the weather “I hear it’s awfully cold at night however?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh it’s terrible!” Roxy exclaimed, throwing her arms out theatrically, making Jane laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They got on well, Dirk thought, maybe that was just a girl thing though. Roxy got along with everyone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At least that’s how she presented herself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dirk didn’t understand how women could so easily get along, especially when he knew how annoyed Roxy was with Jane in the same way he was. Roxy could pretend she was a kind and unassuming person, but Dirk knew she was just as competitive as he was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dirk didn’t understand that same ability with men however, knowing the uncomfortable tension between him and Jake since he showed up at the castle. He could see it in his face, how angry and unsteady the energy was. Dirk couldn’t ignore it when he could feel it, everytime he said something or moved he felt eyes on him, like any slip up would cause a reaction. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Was Jake jealous of him and Jane? His father would make jokes all the time about how a drunk british man would kiss anything, including hogs and sisters. Did he not like Dirk and was protective over his sister? or was he just being an english asshole, as all british men typically were. Dirk hadn’t the slightest clue, and also didn’t care at all. Or he was trying to convince himself he didn’t care as he focused back on the conversation, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Only to realize he was staring directly into Jake’s eyes, which were staring back with a furrowed brow and curious glint, and Dirk didn’t have to read minds to know they were having the same conversation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dirk frowned at him, his nostril flaring defensively before looking away, scowling as he overthought the entire interaction. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh! Derek, I nearly forgot to properly introduce you to my siblings!” and with that, his efforts to ignore Jake were ruined. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dirk perked up, smiling and turning back to Jake as she motioned towards him </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is Jake, my older brother, he loves horseback riding just like you I hear-“ Dirk blushed, nodding at him and instantly looking away, Jane letting confusion wash over her face at Dirks rudeness, shaking it off physically and laughing at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe you guys can go riding together, since we’ll be here a few more days? That would be lots of fun” she prodded, sounding like a Mom forcing two children to get along. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That does sound like fun” Jake agreed, taking a drink of his tea and eyeing the both of them down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jane leaned over her seat with her arm propped on the back, assumably looking for her rowdy younger sister. Finally spotting her running Jane called to her,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jade! That’s jade” she grabbed the young girls attention, Jade curtsying before running again, Dave catching up with her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her hair was different then Jane and Jake, as to which theirs was bouncy but straight, falling naturally in weighted hairstyles, Janes unnaturally curled. Jade had large curly hair, fluffy and thick, and it didn’t look tamable. You could tell they had tied a section of it back with a ribbon, a green on, but it was lost in the chaos on her head. She was a tomboy for sure, the bottom of her skirt splashed with mud. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She seems fun” Dirk complimented, genuine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh she’s something alright, I just wish she wouldn’t embarrass us in front of your family-“ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s really not embarrassing at all! It gives Dave some company anyways” his mother chimed in, stirring her drink. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, if you say so!” She cheesed, her smile so big. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jane was a bigger girl, a round face and pudgy cheeks, her chest large and waist round. She was obviously wearing a corset, as most women did in gowns, but you could still map out her true size. Dirk didn’t care, his mother was a little more specific about body type, but that was never going to be his problem with Jane. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He found it hard to be attracted to any women, but bigger women were always a draw. She was annoying but pretty, and she would do perfect in having children with a body like hers— at least that’s what his mother insisted on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was probably the only thing keeping Jane favorable in Mom’s eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Conversation came and went, Dave and Jade shouted and played, and Roxy and Jane made plans for the next morning. They sat and talked together all day, playing a game of croquet, and going inside for the night. Dave had to have a bath, being pulled away by Kanaya begrudgingly, Roxy having to “write a letter”, and Jane tired and excited to get to bed for tomorrow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bro showed Jade and Jake to their bedrooms, Dirk taking his leave and heading to his room. He stood at the top of the staircase, looking over the hallway to Jake, standing and laughing with his sister and Dirks father, his glance meeting Dirks stare before he dipped down the hallway and into his room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dirk undressed quickly and changed into his nightwear, sitting at his desk with his legs pulled up on the seat, drawing pictures on a piece of paper when he was supposed to be reading, his novel pushed up and out of his way. He had been absorbed in the night, never able to sleep early, staying up into the late hours. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That’s why he was so surprised when he heard a knock at his bedroom door, jumping and turning to face it, wondering if his tired state made him imagine it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another knock solidified that it was real, and that the knocker was impatient. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dirk stood, pulling the book over his paper and walking to the door, unlocking and opening it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His shoulders tensed and his face was surprised when he saw Jake English waiting for him, clenching the doorknob as he looked up at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello?” he asked accusingly, shifting uncomfortably at his threatening height. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t expecting you to still be awake” Jake admitted nervously, stepping into Dirk's room despite his reservations. Dirk wasn’t sure why he moved to let him in, surprised at his sudden submission to Jake. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So why are you here?” he asked angrily, cracking his door and facing the english man, uncomfortable to be seen in his nightwear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake didn’t seem to mind, having an open stance in his pajamas as if Dirk wasn’t a stranger. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you always this grumpy or is it just me?” Jake asked with a laugh, stepping closer to Dirk, almost pushing him against the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dirk grabbed the handle and shut it, afraid that someone would see them up so late, pressing himself against the wood for stability and comfort. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You aren’t special, it’s everybody” he spit, squeezing his thighs together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake was uncomfortably close, feeling his heat from just standing so close to him, scowling up at the great man. Jake was cunning and cocky and he could tell just from the way he spoke and held himself, and Dirk </span>
  <em>
    <span>hated </span>
  </em>
  <span>it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You russian men aren’t good at hiding your feelings” Jake started, putting his arm up and leaning against the door, putting his face in Dirks “and i really can’t tell if you hate me or love me” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dirk tucked his head as close to himself as he could, his body as close to the door as humanly possible, putting a hand up and pushing it against Jake’s chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get away from me!” Dirk shouted, or at least tried to as the squeak of a sentence fell out of his mouth, his previous hopes of trying to stay quiet were out the window. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake grabbed his jaw with his other hand, pulling his face up with ease, Dirk almost letting him as they locked eyes again. He hadn’t noticed how green they were until he was this close, a small gasp leaving his mouth. He was warm and his hands were big, and rough, you could tell he loved the outdoors in a way a prince shouldnt. His hands felt like a working man's hands, and Jake hadn’t worked a true day in his life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you-“ Dirk tried to protest but it was futile, barley a gasp of words leaving his mouth before Jake had pressed their mouths together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All the pressure of Dirk trying to hate him rolled off his shoulders as he melted into Jake’s lips, almost going limp in his legs as the tension left his body. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake let go of his jaw and grabbed his waist, pulling him back to his feet and pushing the kiss further. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dirk felt like he was doing something he shouldn’t, but felt so natural and comfortable at the same time. He wanted to touch his face, Jake’s mustache hair tickling his lip but he didn’t, still clutching his hand around the door handle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake pushed his tongue into Dirk’s mouth, the sudden entry making Dirk flinch, pulling his mouth off and away from Jake, whose eyes were now open and looking at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dirk was trembling from only a second of kissing, breathing heavily and staring at Jake, whose cocky air had only been intensified by the smirk on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They pressed their mouths back together, kissing coming naturally, regardless of Dirk not doing much of it. Jake was much older than Dirk, having turned 17 only half a year ago. Jake was in his mid 20s, maybe explaining his experience in seducing young princes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We aren’t allowed to do this” Dirk said suddenly, pulling away and pushing on his chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why not?” Jake questioned, confusing Dirk long enough to get one more kiss out of him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean it!” Dirk said firmly, shoving him away. Jake listened this time, stepping back and giving Dirk enough time to escape the corner he was trapped in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dirk took in a deep breath, hugging his shoulders and processing the emotions he just experienced. He looked back to Jake who was sitting on his bed, leaning back on his hands and looking at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t do that” Dirk huffed, playing with the cuff of his shirt, his stomach racing with butterflies. He knew better then to let a man kiss him, this behavior was punishable by death, but still Dirk did not feel disgusted or invaded, he didn’t feel the need to call for help. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dirk, have a little fun” Jake teased, opening his legs a little farther, his face cheeky. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dirk flared up at what he was suggesting, stepping farther away from him and putting up his hand in disgust. “You wouldn’t flirt with my sister like this, would you?” he scorned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t flirt with anyone’s sister” he chuckled</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You” Dirk stopped, feeling like a child “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Only</span>
  </em>
  <span> like men?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh god no” Jake laughed, embarrassing Dirk further “but women are more delicate than men, you have to approach them with caution and softness-“ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you treat me like you hate me” Dirk hated being confused, his voice whiny and stubborn. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look how sweet it’s making you act” Jake teased</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dirk was embarrassed and now uncomfortable, having never met anyone who liked men and women. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You aren’t allowed to like men” Dirk shot at him, as if they were having an argument. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And who are you going to tell?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dirk froze, his cunning attitude was as attractive as it was infuriating, especially when Jake proved a point. Dirk had no intentions of telling anyone, especially if it meant he wouldn’t get to see Jake again. He couldn’t explain it but even through his facade he longed to be near him, wanting to talk to him and even kiss him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should go to bed” Dirk insisted, putting his arms up and over his chest as a wall, picking at his fingernails nervously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If that’s what you really want” Jake trilled, standing up and off his bed and slowly walking to the door, quietly pushing it open and stepping into the hallway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dirk walked over to the door, once again towered over by Jake, picking more fiercely now. Jake leaned his head into the room, pushing up Dirks chin in just the way Dirk had done to Jane only hours ago, kissing him so softly and sweetly on the corner of his mouth that it tickled, Dirk feeling a rush of blood go through him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight” Jake said in a low voice, a rumble going through his throat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight.” Dirk choked out, touching the spot Jake had kissed gently with his finger, shutting the door when Jake was out of sight. He turned to face the rest of his room in shock, so raw to all the things he just felt; anger, embarrassment, frustration…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>but even through all that he was smiling like a young girl who was just handed a flower, smirking from ear to ear with rosey cheeks, confused but happy he felt it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Walking to his desk he shut his book, blowing out his lamp and crawling into bed. Dirk pulled his blankets up over his shoulders and balled into them, nuzzling his face into his pillow as he unwillingly imagined Jake’s chest— wondering if it was as hairy as the rest of him. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Any feedback and suggestions are welcome!!! What currently established relationships do you want to see developed more? Any relationships I haven’t talked about that you’d be interested in seeing?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Long walks and Love letters</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jane and Roxy get better acquainted over brunch, Kanaya and Rose break rules, and Dave and Karkat finally see eye to eye.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello! Sorry this chapter took so long, with all this social distancing shit i’ve finally caught a break and was able to keep up with my writing.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Roxy bounced with the carriage as the horses pulled them down and around the street that wound up the mountain, leading to the palace, across the vast land surrounding the castle. Roxy held the basket tightly in her lap so the contents didn’t go flying out with one especially hard bump. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She sat with her ankles crossed, Jane riding in front of her. It was a short ride in comparison to other beautiful stretches of land Roxy had been on, and certainly Jane who lived on flat earth, seeing as the castle sat on a cliffside. They weren’t so cramped on the small space that one trip would send you plummeting down a steep fall, but it was embarrassing in terms of the acres of land Jane possessed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jane’s grandmother had outlived both of her children, and unlike Roxy’s estranged family customs, Jane was 2nd in line for the throne, after her brother. It seemed rather unfair that regardless that Jane was in fact younger than Jake, that if Jake was born yesterday and their grandmother died today, he would be king.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At least that’s what Jane was saying, filling the quiet time with talking to pad out the trip. The carriage seemed much larger with just the two of them, usually accommodating all of her siblings and sometimes her parents, if the horses could handle it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He is much older than me but he’s not much smarter, I am well educated, </span>
  <em>
    <span>much</span>
  </em>
  <span> more educated than him!” she claimed, her accent thick and amusing, making Roxy giggle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“With much respect, he does act oddly” Roxy admitted, picking at the loose wicker on the basket “, Leaning back in his chair, talking over people, i’ve never seen a prince act like that-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Exactly! Nanna tells him that all the time and he just ignores her</span>
  <em>
    <span>!</span>
  </em>
  <span> If he didn’t spend so much time outside and stopped skipping his lessons he would be much better off” she huffed “a king can’t spend all day running around the forest and playing sports.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wish I had that problem” Roxy put her hand out “get this, i have to deal with my brothers stealing my makeup and jewelry for themselves!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jane laughed, covering her mouth and blushing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dirk too?” she asked</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dirk </span>
  <em>
    <span>most of all</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” Roxy laughed “when you marry him just be ready because he’s gonna come into your room and </span>
  <em>
    <span>beg</span>
  </em>
  <span> for you to powder his face because it makes his </span>
  <em>
    <span>eyes more blue</span>
  </em>
  <span> or to let him pick out your necklace for you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s so mean about detail isn’t he?” Jane asked rhetorically, getting a reassuring nod from Roxy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s always been that way, I swear he was a woman in a past life, definitely a Russian one” Roxy hit her leg from over her dress playfully “he says our mother is awful on him but he’s just like her.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes! this last ball your family threw, after pulling me away he said my hair was a mess! I was so embarrassed” Jane retold the story with an exaggerated tone, making a funny face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Roxy laughed with her, finding it oddly comforting to have a real female friend. She loved her sister, and her brothers dearly, but there was something special about a woman’s friendship. Rose was always feminine but she was powerful, if she didn’t like something a man said she told them. Dave was funny and effeminate but he didn’t really understand women, and Dirk was simply too self centered to have any lighthearted gossip with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was special to gossip with a woman who was like Roxy, intelligent and kind, but girly and obsessed with her fashion. Roxy had never found it embarrassing to be both beautiful and smart. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad I get to spend this time with you Jane” Roxy told her honestly, making Jane blush with happiness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I feel the same! I was so worried your family hated me, I have so much anxiety with these kinds of things” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Roxy smirked at her “they say here, that if “</span>
  <em>
    <span>the sister loves you, so does the father, and all will be well</span>
  </em>
  <span>” and if my father loves you, so will my mother.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jane seemed to take genuine comfort in the saying, her noticeably tense shoulders finally at ease. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“and gossiping with another girl is so refreshing!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The carriage stopped suddenly, the horses whinnying, and the coachmen jumped off of his seat, a weight being lifted off the wheels. The crunch of his feet was heavy on the earth, the man opened the door for the ladies, taking their hands and helping them step down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Equius was his name, and he was a huge man. Long black hair brushed neatly into a ponytail, tied with a dark blue ribbon. He wasn’t stout, but he was strong and wide in his chest. He seemed nervous, his glasses shattered in one eye which Roxy could definitely tell was impossible to see out of, and a large scar on his forehead that started at his hairline and ended at his brow. He was always shy around the royal family, which was the common attitude in her household, especially with explosive and mean family members like Dirk and her mother. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Next to him stood a guard, one she had never seen before, wearing armor over clothing much like Equius. He didn’t wear a helmet to avoid the summer heat, although it was a beautiful breezy day, and his skin was dark and his hair black, strong and unique features she had never seen before. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, sir” Roxy said with a smile, picking up her dress so it wasn’t hitting the ground. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her dress was pink, a pale and gentle pink that swayed close to her legs. It was a sundress, made for lounging but </span>
  <em>
    <span>proper</span>
  </em>
  <span> lounging and she felt so cute in it. It sat just at the top of her shoulders, her collarbones showing as was customary for Russian dresses, a minimalist style she much preferred over extravagance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jane was different than Roxy and that was okay, she was wearing a loose dress in the same way as Roxy, but it was far more beautiful. It had embroidered trim around the base of the skirt, the sleeves, and her neckline. Gold accents against the red dress made her bright eyes pop on the summer landscape around her, and frankly made her quite beautiful. Jane had a hat on, a small brim, with a thick white ribbon that tied under her jaw to secure the hat to her head. Her shoes were the same red, adorned with beads and jewels. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We must pass through town, so if you wish to stop, stay close to Karkat and I, your majesties” he had a deep voice, you could hear the rumble of it in his throat, and he sounded very unsure of his own directions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes sir” Jane chuckled, following the men as they started walking, Roxy only a few steps behind them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Roxy looked up at the unfamiliar man, rather short and younger than her, a strange choice for a palace guard. He was handsome still, in the young way, and his skin was dark but not like John, and he couldn’t have been much more mature than her youngest brother. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Roxy walked with the basket in her hands, holding the handle tightly and kicking it every once in awhile when her steps were too long, making it bounce. The city was quiet so early in the morning but the off hand worker or towns person would stop and pay respects to the royalty in the streets. It was close to the palace, the richer and fancier neighborhoods, the people almost looking as extravagant as the princesses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jane pulled them over to peak into the window of a beautiful dress shop, eyes wide like a child, talking to Equius about which ones he liked the best. Roxy took this opportunity to turn her attention to the silent guard besides her, watching him examine the dresses. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve never seen you before-” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m usually wearing a helmet” he said bluntly, his cheeks instantly flaring up red. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>No </span>
  <em>
    <span>oh excuse me your highness i’m Karkat or My greatest apologies princess oh my</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but an offhand and rude comment about his helmet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Equius noticeably glared at him, making Karkat turn away and look back at the ground, folding his arms behind his back in the proper way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I'm glad you came with us today,” Roxy said warmly, regaining his attention. “,I hate having strangers in my home, so I try to make everyone at least an acquaintance.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I understand, I'm glad you…” he paused, looking her in the eyes. “You are much nicer than your brother.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dirk?” Roxy asked curiously</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes” Karkat glanced away and back at the glass, taking in a sharp breath and looking back at her “Dave...is very kind.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He always has been” she giggled “, so romantic too” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Karkat asked, averting his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, he loves romance novels and always loved the happy endings in fairy tales, still such a dreamer” she sighed, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He loves to talk” Karkat laughed quietly, still looking away from her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does he bother you a lot?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh he’s not bothering me” Karkat answered in a surprisingly affectionate way, smiling to himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jane and Equius suddenly moved away from the window, urging the other two to follow, breaking her and Karkat's conversation as Jane began a new one. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As she spoke, Roxy couldn’t help herself, looking over at Karkat who continued to smile to himself, face red and dewey. He seemed to be recounting something, maybe reminded of a joke or conversation, supposedly with her younger brother. Could they already be friends? Dave was usually so shy- </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Roxy, do you like the summer or winter better?” Jane cut her off, hiking up her skirt so she didn’t trip over it as they started their ascend up the hill.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a natural beaten path, made overtime by the cities people walking over it again and again. The city was huge and all the homes close together, spanning farther then Roxy and Jane could walk, but they weren’t traveling the length of the city. Turning down a street and up a hill, a few more minutes to a large park, somewhere new and exciting to eat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her mother had asked her why Roxy wasted all her time going to the city when they could eat in their expansive garden, but Roxy wished to see other people and the city she governed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Summer, they are short here in Russia so it’s like something special” she said “it’s like winter everyday, and then a few months of nice weather” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good point” Jane stumbled, Equius putting out his hand to help her. The path was natural and not paved, no stone laid down for a smooth walk, and Janes expensive shoes weren’t meant for treading. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love snow, it’s so quiet” Jane continued, brushing off her skirt as they stood on flat ground again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll love it here…” Roxy said quietly, a nervous feeling in her stomach she couldn’t name. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girls walked through the park, quiet besides the sounds of birds and the breeze on their faces, walking until they finally met stairs. Walking up them quickly they made it to the open entrance of a terrace, connected to a small playhouse. Multiple tables and seats were on the terrace, Equius picking one nearest to the staircase and setting up the small picnic. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was still early in the morning, as said before, the trees dewey and wow there were so many. The whole park was surrounded by greenery, Larch trees covering every green area of the kingdom, but significantly here. They could look over the entire place, lots of gorgeous flowers to gawk at, large pillars holding up the roof, shading them from the rising sun that wouldn’t make them hot, but would bother their eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The grassy field was surrounded by a path for walking, fruit trees for picking from, and a few swings for children and lovers to push each other on. They looked well used, the ground having tread makes from children playing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your highnesses” Equius caught their attention, Karkat just as distracted as Roxy had been “, We will be just down the street, call and we’ll hear you” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Roxy knew that wouldn’t be necessary, the kingdom had always had a great relationship with the royals, the only people probably going to bother them being little girls who like their dresses. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still, the men wouldn’t go far, and then Roxy and Jane were alone with lunch, the energy changing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Equius is handsome don’t you think?” Jane asked with a giggle, picking up the small cakes and popping one in her mouth. Roxy laughed at her and shook her head, taking the lid off the juice pitcher, pouring lemonade into her cup, along with pouring one for Jane. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think Karkat is much prettier” she admitted, picking up her cup and sipping the cold drink. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Jane asked with a scrunched face, leaning closer over the table as if the men could hear them gossiping “he’s strange looking to me”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s so young too” Jane took her cup.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well of course i’m not </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>interested, but Equius looks so mean” Roxy said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s probably nervous from how pretty you are” Jane complimented sweetly, and from her tone Roxy could tell she wasn’t just saying that to get on her good side, she seemed to mean it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh your bluffing!” Roxy blushed, hiding her face behind her cup, smiling from ear to ear “but thank you, I wish I was as lucky as you, you are beautiful without even trying” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was Janes turn to blush, waving at her dismissively, curling her short curls around her finger and nuzzling her own hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see why my brother likes you so much” Roxy teased, knowing it was a life, glancing away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jane chuckled uncontrollably “Oh be quiet!!!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Roxy laughed with her, looking over the edge of the railing, out onto the field, the sun just over the horizon. She swirled her drink around, smiling at the pretty morning sky. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who do you love?” Jane asked suddenly, putting another sweet in her mouth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me?” Roxy asked with a blush, popping a cake into her own mouth, shrugging “I don’t if I love him..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If he came to mind, then you love him”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good point” Roxy laughed “, you may have met him the night we had the ball” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was distracted…” Jane admitted</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“His name is John, new king of Thailand” Roxy recounted, spacing out as she remembered her nights with him, remembering how he promised to write her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is he the most handsome man you’ve ever seen?” Jane asked happily</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes...it’s incredible” Roxy was so lost in thought, remembering his bright eyes and wide smile, the whitest teeth in the world. She remembered his thick hair and smooth skin, so perfect and soft, remembering his hands and wishing she would have felt his bare skin while she still could. John had a humor like no one else, his laughter contagious and his approachable era so appealing in a husband. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked to Jane with pity, knowing if her brother beat her to the throne, Jane would be miserable as his wife; If Dirk didn’t beat her to the throne, Jane would be miserable without him.  Dirk was a greedy and selfish man at his core, and he didn’t care of Jane in the least bit, never having cared about personal connections before. Jane was sweet, funny, compassionate, and most of all devoted, Dirk didn’t care about any of it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it you like about my brother?” Roxy asked</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, to put it in words would be impossible” she cooed, smiling at the idea of him alone, her cheeks blushing red as they always did. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He is so gentle with me, and he holds my hand with such care, and he's the only man who ever really listens to me” she insisted “,his laugh is beautiful and his fashion is so commendable I would wear many of the things he does! He sits and listens to me for hours and doesn’t ever get bored or sick of me, he told me he got so sick trying to write me the perfect letter he could never send it! I only wish to read it soon-” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Roxy sat uneasy, a deep feeling in her chest to blurt out “HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU!” or “YOU ARE JUST A GAME TO HIM!” but she couldn’t, favoring seeing Jane smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What hurt the most was knowing the truth behind Dirks nasty game of charades, aware that the second she got home he was going to come into her room and bully Jane, and worse of all Roxy would play along with it to make him happy. She couldn’t help but sit on her words, dreading the thought that Jane was so poorly treated by the other men in her life that she sticks to Dirk for companionship, his simple action of sitting and nodding along with what she said made her believe he loved her unconditionally.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are a very good woman, Jane” Roxy cut her off, putting out her hand and readjusting the hat on her head so it was facing forward again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think the same of you” Jane said happily, clasping her hands together and staring intensely into Roxy's eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll make my brother very happy.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>————————</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rose coughed horribly as Kanaya rubbed her back, eyes watering as she hacked into the cloth against her mouth, leaning against the tall maid for support. She had been allowed to walk a small section of the palace since Kanaya had proven to not get ill after working alongside her for weeks, still allowed nowhere near her youngest brother or her siblings bedrooms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She needed a cane to walk and the illness was tearing her apart from the inside out. Regardless her blemishes were clearing up, her throat less red and tongue less swollen— both good signs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hallway was covered in art, the space in which the family kept their portraits or expensive works, a long wall of windows on the opposite wall, facing the courtyard. There were many beautiful paintings of the castle, the kingdom, random women on swings, and family portraits throughout their years of life. It was beautiful and the most relaxing room in the castle, at least it was Roses favorite. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This didn’t stop her from coughing, needing to stop a lot to get it out of her system, only Kanaya allowed near her as they aired out her room and cleaned it well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my, that was big” Kanaya chuckled, but not because the situation was funny. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m really getting it” she stopped to cough “-out of my system, you see” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kanaya stepped away from her when she regained her balance, pushing open a window and letting Rose take in the fresh air. Rose relished in it, taking a deep breath through her sore throat and nose.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Feels so good, that muggy room is making me sicker” Rose shook her head, rubbing her nose. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I feel the same, i’m glad your moving around” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rose looked out over the front of the palace, gardeners chipping away at bushes and maids talking and laughing as they walked the stretch of the lawn, wishing so desperately to get back to her normal schedule. Riding horses with her brothers, dressing up everyday, playing outside in the summer air: why did she have to get sick during summer time? Why not in the winter when the palace wasn’t hot, the weather wasn’t perfect, and everyone was sick so she wouldn’t feel so alienated. It irked her most that she couldn’t see Dave, her closest friend and favorite sibling, wishing to laugh with him again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where is Dave today?” Rose asked Kanaya, who turned from admiring a painting, to face her with a shrug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been devoting most of my time with you, so they don’t really let me know his majesty's schedule” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>His majesty</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Rose mocked, making Kanaya laugh and shove her playfully. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m still a servant you know!” Kanaya protested, putting hands on her hips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You aren’t a servant to me” Rose said with a sad face, looking up at Kanaya with gentle eyes “I hate when you call yourself that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s an unfortunate truth” Kanaya brushed it off “At Least i’m not a princess stuck up in a castle” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taking her hands they spun around, both singing a series of hums and nonsense, making their own music. Twirling her, Rose got dizzy, stumbling and slamming against a wall with a heavy breath. Kanaya gasped and ran to her, picking her up from the wall and holding out her hand to help her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rose rubbed her head, turning and looking up at the portrait she had slammed into, making sure it wasn’t damaged. It was the largest painting in the room, a painting of her and her siblings only a few years ago. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” Kanaya asked nervously</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes…” Rose trailed off, staring up at the portrait. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was only the four of her siblings, Dirk and Roxy sitting on stools and Dave and Rose on the floor, sitting on cushions. They were all wearing their finest clothes, nearly 5 years ago they all looked so young, you could see maturity growing into Dirks face but Roxy still looked like a young girl in the way she no longer did. Rose looked at herself, smiling at her long hair, now short to keep her cool, missing the beautiful blonde hair that sat on her shoulders and well past her waist. Now she had bangs, hair that was always tied back to keep it away from her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave was still a baby, 11 years old and tiny, still small and short how he was now.His smile was wide and Mom had laughed about how we could hold such a genuine smile the entire time— Dirk holding a neutral face, Rose too, and Roxy just smiling softly. He had rosey cheeks and a cute little outfit, they all had such cute clothing on. It was only clothing you could force a child to wear. Frills and fluff, collars and tight pants, they all looked very uncomfortable besides Dave. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rose lifted her hand and rubbed it over his face, wishing to see him. “He’s my best friend” Rose smiles. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kanaya had a weird face and Rose was suspicious, she looked like she wanted to say something but couldn’t, tapping her foot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rose crossed her arms, narrowing her eyes and stepping closer to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Rose prodded</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh- What do you mean?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing” Kanaya choked </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kanaya.” Rose said sternly, unfolding her arms to grab her cane and support herself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rosie.” She said back, rubbing her shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want to tell me? It’s okay” Rose insisted, stepping closely and pushing back the curls that had fallen in her face, revealing Kanaya's blushing cheeks, looking as if she was holding her breath “Oh my god, what is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You swear not to tell a soul?” Kanaya looked around and down the hall, pulling Rose close and squeezing her shoulders. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course!” Rose promised, Kanaya taking a deep breath and looking to Rose closely. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A dear friend of mine, Karkat, has just started working at the palace as a knight. I’ve known him all my life we are very close, and a few nights ago he came to me extremely distraught, handing me a letter from your brother-“ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Roses face went pale, glancing around Kanaya and down the hall, almost sure of what she was gonna say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It...it is a</span>
  <em>
    <span> Love letter</span>
  </em>
  <span>, confessing his attraction to Karkat, and telling him that he… he </span>
  <em>
    <span>likes </span>
  </em>
  <span>men” Kanaya said so quietly that Rose could hardly hear her, a shocked look on Roses face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Roses gaping mouth slowly formed into a wide mouth smile, grinning from ear to ear and laughing, excitedly waving her arms and clutching to Kanaya. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re joking?” She laughed</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rose! This is serious!” Kanaya pouted </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh how will mother react when she finds out </span>
  <em>
    <span>two </span>
  </em>
  <span>of her children are off the vine!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“SHHH!!” Kanaya put her finger to her mouth, looking behind her down the hallway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have to see him!” Rose insisted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t” Kanaya fell serious </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please, I promise i’ll keep my distance, I know you know where he is” Rose said sternly </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kanaya gave in, looking into her soft and pretty blue eyes, rolling her lips together and nodding. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine! but we have to make it quick” she insisted, Rose taking the lead and pulling them from the hallway and out into the foyer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was empty, a quiet morning in the castle, everyone taking advantage of the weather to get outside and do their chores there. The oldest princess was due home with Jane in a couple hours, and the Queen and King were in a political meeting. It should go smoothly, Kanaya thought, taking one more scan before walking quickly with Rose to where Dave was expected. He was supposed to be in the living room, practicing on his piano, but he was most likely doodling on the sheet music. He hated that damn piano. Kanaya had refused to teach him out of frustration one day, finally throwing in the towel and respectfully telling the Queen she “couldn’t do that shit anymore”. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Turning the corner Rose stumbled, Kanaya realizing she was practically dragging the poor girl, stopping and rubbing her back as she laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The end of the hallway was the practice room, Kanaya listening for talking or chatter, assessing the coast is clear and pushing through. Rose had a wide smile on her face as they reached the door, Kanaya turning and wrapping the shall around her face to keep her from coughing on to Dave.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kanaya knocked and shuffling was instantly heard, and she couldn’t help but notice that Dave wasn’t playing any music. The door creaked open and his blue eyes peaked out, glancing over at Rose with sudden excitement. He pushed the door open, gasping excitedly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rose!” he smiled, trying to take her into a hug, Kanaya stopping him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, but we really aren’t supposed to be here, we can only stay a few minutes” she said, pushing him back gently by his chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave looked at her, both of them knowing they were breaking some serious rules here. Dave still brushed it off, like he always did, knowing it wouldn’t be his fault so he didn’t have to worry about punishment: he never had to. Rose put out her hands and Dave took them, giggling happily with his sister. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You look a lot better” Dave reassured</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think? I don’t feel better” Rose said, rolling her eyes, making Dave frown. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They spoke but Kanaya could hardly keep up, a mix of nerves and their quick and quiet chatter. Everytime the floor creaked or the open windows let in a bird song, Kanaya scanned the hallway. She knew how dangerous this was, but it was impossible to say no to Rose when she used those big puppy eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve really needed you these past few days” Dave said softly, conflict obvious on his face. Rose glanced at Kanaya, whose face had gone pale, glancing down at the floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What.” Dave said defensively, with the girls still silent, he asked again in the same tone “What?!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Karkat...spoke to me…” Kanaya started, quickly interrupted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>WHAT!?</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Dave nearly shouted, Rose pushing her warm hands over his mouth, his face serious as he shook her off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why would he- WHY?” he panicked, his voice cracking as he looked around, Rose taking his arm and shushing him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No- No it’s not what you think! We aren’t upset” Rose reassured “and he isn’t either!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What did he say? Why hasn’t he written to me?” Dave was upset, but now his attention was turned towards Karkat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s been very busy with your sister today, he just told me what you had said” Kanaya tried to lighten the load, hoping if Dave didn’t know she had read the letter herself he wouldn’t be as mad. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t tell-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course! Never” Kanaya stopped him “you’ve never told on us!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At that moment you could see Dave remembering the situation of their close relationships, in moments of great stress Dave often forgot the things he already knew, taking a deep breath and nodding. “Of course, i’m an idiot i’m sorry” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kanaya chuckled at him, hiding her smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I completely forgot, I feel much better” Dave had been choking back tears, squeezing his eyes shut and nodding, laughing nervously “What did he say?” Dave looked up hopefully, playing with his fingers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He…” Kanaya couldn’t stop a smile, embarrassed, tucking her hair away “he is very much in love with you” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Dave smiled happily, letting out a noise of disbelief “what has he said about me?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He says how confused he is, about how he doesn’t understand how someone so handsome and important could love him, he’s so completely infatuated with you and-“ Kanaya started, Dave hugging on to Rose happily, both of them giggling with excitement as Kanaya recounted Karkats rambles. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The happy moment was suddenly cut short by a negative energy entering, a shout calling to them down the hallway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kanaya had never turned so fast in her life, Dave pulling away from his sister and tucking himself back behind the door. Their mother stood at the end of the hallway with angry eyes, clenching her fists and turning red in her cheeks. Rose locked her arm on to Kanayas, who had put her arms at her sides stiff as a rock. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>What</span>
  </em>
  <span> are you doing?!” she shrieked, storming towards them down the hall, Kanaya flinched as the Queen rushed to meet her. Rose tugged on Kanaya's arm as a means to move her but Kanaya was glued to the floor with fear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was knocked out of her trance with a sharp smack across her face, so hard that she hit the floor and was ripped from Rose’s arms. Catching herself on her elbow, Kanaya blinked away the tears and brought a hand to her face, trying to fix her skirt as the queen screamed at her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How could you be so stupid!” Roxanne shouted, reaching to strike her again on the floor before Rose stopped her, grabbing her arm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please stop! it was my idea-“ she tried to take the blame, the Queen ripping away her arm in disbelief, scoffing at her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>matter</span>
  </em>
  <span> who’s idea it was, how could either of you be so selfish?” She spit, looking up to Dave who was peering out from behind the door, gasping and slamming it shut when his mother saw him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry but you wouldn’t let him see me!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rose, there is a good reason for that!” Roxanne said, openly stating her Favoritism against Dirk and Roxy, and even Rose. She frowned, still trying to protect Kanaya “she only did it because I forced her..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She shouldn't have listened, then she wouldn’t be punished.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s unfair!” Rose insisted, stepping forward, putting a wall between Kanaya and Roxanne.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Life </span>
  </em>
  <span>is unfair, Rosalina. You of all people should know that by now” the Queen spit, stepping away and fixing her dress. She looked down the hallway, calling to Nepeta as she rushed past, the small girl stopping in her tracks and bowing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Roxanne waved for her to come, the girl looking back in the direction she was going a few times before sighing and begrudgingly following orders. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, your highness?” she asked softly</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Take Rose to her room, then have someone replace your clothes and bathe, this will only be for tonight” she said seriously, pulling on Rose and forcing her away from Kanaya. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um- yes your highness” Nepeta bowed, smiling at Rose and leading her away. Rose stopped at the end of the hallway, looking back at them before sadly following. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Queen turned back to Kanaya, who was still on the floor, taking in sharp breaths to hide her tears; and her fear. The Queen grabbed her forearm and pulled her to her feet, still beyond angry with her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If i catch you disobeying me again, it will cost you your life” Roxanne promised, Kanaya flinching at her aggression. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Letting her go, Kanaya instantly jumped backwards, holding her arm close to her. The Queen pushed passed her, knocking on the door that Dave was hiding behind, Kanaya quickly taking her leave. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Quickly, she rushed to the servants quarters, hiding her face and holding her breath the entire run. She passed many people, ignoring any advances at conversion as she rushed down the stairs. Kanaya reached her room, the room she shared with Nepeta, slamming the door and hitting the floor in a mess of sobs. How could she have been so stupid? and to put Rose in such a position? She was so foolish. Rose was probably so angry with her for embarrassing her infront of her mother like that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And she had never seen the Queen so angry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kanaya tried to dry her face but it was quickly wet again, sniffing and sobbing into her dress. She used her bed to stand, scanning the room through tears, looking for her letters. Pulling open the bottom drawer on her dresser she tore out all her clothing, finding all the hidden letters at the bottom, littered in Rose’s kisses. She just needed to remind herself that Rose would love her regardless of this mistake. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reading through the letters her bedroom door was knocked on rapidly, Kanaya shoving the letters away and trying to repack the drawer. The door was opened before she could, Karkats friendly face meeting her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kanaya smiled, happy to see him, his smile wide indicating he had something exciting to tell her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kanaya, I'm happy you're in here...What's wrong?” he stopped suddenly, his shoulders dropping as he looked at her wet face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh- It’s nothing” she insisted, folding the rest of her clothing into the drawer, wiping her face on her sleeve again “, please, tell me what you are to say?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat frowned, but didn’t press it, smiling again and shutting the door, leaning against it. “I spent all day with Roxy, she’s kind, but I couldn’t stop thinking about him…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kanaya chuckled, standing and walking to him, ushering him to sit down on Nepeta’s bed, sitting on her own. The room was so small, the distance was like sitting at a dinner table for two. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you write any more to him?” she asked, reaching her hands out to ask for his letter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No” he paused, digging the paper from his chest pocket, handing it to her “, I don’t want to disappoint him with my response, he was so sweet.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kanaya smiled at the paper, remembering the start of her and Rose’s own relationship. Almost 5 years older then Karkat, Kanaya found such comfort in a teenagers romance, having been with Rose since she was his age. Reading over the same two sentences she had or a week, nodding and handing it back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What else should I say?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re overthinking it, Karkat! Write from the heart, don’t worry about making it pretty” she suggested, referring back to Dave’s letter, which was a hodgepodge of nothing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What if I come on too strong?” Karkat whined. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kanaya laughed “What if </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>come off too strong? Dave begged you to hold him until he turned to bones! That’s pretty strong on his end”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I...I guess you're right,” Karkat blushed, spacing off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kanaya leaned across to his side, pushing his curls out of his eyes, rubbing her hand down his cheek. Karkat looked up at her, confused. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you really struggle, say it out loud when you write it, like a conversation! I used to just talk and write whatever I said when I wrote Rose” she admitted “, it actually gets a lot easier because your mind knows exactly what you want to say.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat nodded, mumbling inaudibly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And draw him something! He’ll love to see what you draw for him. Slip your letter into the rest of his messages tomorrow evening when you deliver them- he’s expecting a letter soon anyhow.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sure know a lot about this” Karkat laughed “and I thought I was a hopeless romantic.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are, just listen to yourself and you’ll realize you know a lot more than I do.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh that’s not true” Karkat laughed “, you may only be a little older than me but you are wiser by a millennium.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love is dumb, Karkat, in the best way.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat smiled at her, nodding and standing suddenly “I know exactly what I want to say, I’ll come back to see you before bed and let you read it! Thank you, Kanaya!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She met him to stand, Karkat kissing her cheek and leaving the room quickly, probably trying to keep his train of thought. Kanaya felt lucky to have Karkat, not feeling so alone in this dreadful castle. Rose was the only thing keeping her here, that beside her indenturatude. Sitting again she played with her hand, remembering the sting in her cheek before laying down, curling into a tight ball, closing her eyes to rest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>————————</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dave pressed the keys slowly, dragging each note out and sluggishly pulling his hands to play the next note, staring into the ivory with hazy eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was so incredibly boring. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Especially now with butterflies of anxiety in his stomach from being in trouble, terrified for Kanaya and Rose, but punishment meant nothing from his mother. Dave had never seen his mother follow through on any threats she had made towards him— his father was the real danger in Dave’s waters. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave tapped one key over and over, looking up and out of the window, sighing deeply. He had been practicing all day, the truest punishment, and the sun was setting and casting a pretty light into the room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stopped playing, listened to make sure he was alone, standing and closing his music book. Rounding the piano bench he closed the lid to the piano, slowly creeping the door open to look into the hallway. The many windows made the whole hallway orange, the drapes flapping in the coming night breeze, maids closing and latching the large windows. Dave slipped into the hallway and shut the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Quickly walking down the hallway, waving to the young maids as they chatted amongst themselves, turning and walking into the center hallway, connecting all the main parts of the castle together. Dave turned and attempted to rush up the stairs, before his name was called before he took one step.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dave!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned and clenched his sheet music, stomach dropping and chest filling with butterflies. Karkat hustled slightly to meet him, bowing and fixing his hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Karkat!” Dave responded happily, feeling safe to walk slowly to his room with Karkat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was looking for you, I was supposed to deliver you all of your letters and sh- things” Karkat stumbled over his words, making Dave smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh of course” he nodded “I'll read the letters myself but what announcements do I have?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes Um-“ Karkat reached under his breastplate, pulling out the small bundle of paper…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are expected to go horseback riding with your brother and Prince Jakob tomorrow afternoon...King Johnathan Egbert will be returning in August for the remainder of the Fall...and-“ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave didn’t notice they had made it to his bedroom doors yet, passing through the hallways like air as he looked up lovingly at Karkat and listened to his soft voice, looking around and behind them to see they were alone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And- I know I'm not supposed to do this but… would you like to come into the city tomorrow night with me and Kanaya?” His voice was quiet and nervous. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How would I-“ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ve got our ways.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave looked down and picked at the corners of his papers, contemplating the consistencies, taping his foot. Looking up at Karkat, Dave melted instantly into his eyes, and he was certain he would do anything Karkat wanted him to do. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes...yes I want to do it!” Dave laughed excitedly, quickly straightening his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Great! Um- Good, um we’ll get you tomorrow, be ready at 11:30, I’ll bring you a cloak” Karkat whispered, putting his hand on Dave’s shoulder and leaning close to him. Dave nodded, smiling with all his pretty teeth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh and- Sorry” Karkat said nervously, flipping through Dave’s private documents until he found his envelope and placed it on top. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave ripped the papers from his hands, his eyes as wide as dinner plates, turning the envelope to see it was from Karkat. Looking up at Karkat his stomach dropped and flooded with a million emotions. Was Karkat returning his compassion? Had he decided to give Dave a chance regardless of the embarrassing things he said? How could Dave just now realize how kind and comfortable Karkat was being with him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave dropped all of the things in his hands and arms, the papers hitting the ground and scattering everywhere, pausing only for a second before he reached to grab Karkats face. His cheeks were soft and only a little scratchy from the building facial hair on his jaw. Pulling their faces together. Karkat didn’t fight him at all, kissing him and hugging around him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kissing him felt…</span>
  <em>
    <span>perfect </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat had soft lips, and Dave had never kissed anyone before and thus had nothing to compare it to, but he knew that Karkat was the only person he ever wanted to kiss again. The firm hands at the small of his back felt so safe, and the weight and worry on his shoulders rolled off like butter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat smelled like hard work, the outdoors and sweat, but not in a gross way. You could tell he attempted to drown it with a strong fragrance that Dave had become immune to. You could smell it on his skin and taste it in his mouth, his hair smells sweetly like flowers or pine trees, something in the soap they use in the servants washroom. Dave noticed his hands completely cupped Karkats face, and he realized he had chalked Karkat to be much larger than he really was, perfectly sized to be held by Dave, as if they were sculpted for each other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pulling apart they held each other closely for a few extra seconds, finally breaking apart with eyes still locked together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry” Karkat said reflexively</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For what?” Dave laughed, hands trembling with anxiety as he looked up at Karkat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat smiled, a warm blush on his cheek, averting his eyes and bending to gather all of the loose papers around their feet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave reached to take them, sighing deeply and reaching to hold his face one more time, Karkat nuzzling into the touch. The distant laughing and chatter of maids made Dave flinch, quickly pulling away as they passed them down the hallway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight, Your Highness” Karkat bowed his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight…” Dave mumbled, hugging the documents and the letter close to his chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave opened his bedroom door and took one more good look at Karkat before closing his door. Looking into his room with a smile, quickly walking to his bed and setting everything down. Spreading out all the papers he looked for the letter, fishing it out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not bothering with a letter opener, he tore it, pulling out the paper he recognized as his own. It was covered in lead, Dave giggling at the fact that Karkat was left handed, unfolding it to reveal a drawing at the bottom corner. Dave’s mouth fell open to see it was a portrait of him, drawn like a royal portrait painter would draw him, capturing his likeness perfectly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pulling his eyes away, he began to read it…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Dear David </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I cannot put into words how grateful I am that you chose me for your affection, although I am unable to understand it. I admire your ability to share your feelings with me with no evidence I would react kindly, especially since you are so handsome, it can’t be easy to open yourself up. I want you to know I very much love you in the same way you love me, at least I’d hope I don't love you more. It feels as if all I needed was one look at you to know that I loved you, even if it feels completely wrong. I know better than to be attracted to men, but you matter too much to me to ignore my feelings, I rather die than lose my opportunity to love you. Please continue to write to me, and maybe in our dreams we can be together. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Dearest, Karkat.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dave trembled, tears welling his eyes, squeezing the paper and bringing it to his nose. It smelled faintly of Karkat, but he could smell it. He was emotional and he couldn’t help but cry, smiling and kissing the letter as he held it close to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took a deep breath, wiping his eyes, and folded the letter up again. Hiding it between his mattress and bed frame, he reorganized all his documents before placing the pile on the end of his bed, throwing himself back on his bed with a sigh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They would be together in their dreams, Dave thought,  closing his eyes and smiling. Thinking of every freckle and scar on Karkat’s perfect face, slowly drifting to sleep. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Any feedback or suggestions welcome! What relationships would you like to see expanded more?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Under the cover of night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dirk, Jake, and Dave go horseback riding to get to know one another, Dave sneaks away to the city, and Dirk is a good brother. ( Or is he ;) ) </p><p>a.k.a I May have mistagged the DirkJake for this fic</p><p>** This chapter contains a sex scene between Dave and Karkat!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry this one took a little while, Animal Crossing New Horizons came out and I’ve been pretty distracted! Also, I had a lot of trouble writing the characters this chapter, especially Karkat, so i’m sorry if anyone seems too out of character. It’s pretty challenging to apply these very modern characters in medieval times.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dirk looked down at Equius from atop his horse with narrow eyes, annoyed that he was being told how to ride a horse like a child, shaking his foot impatiently. Explaining how to hold the reins and stop the horse as if Dirk's father hadn’t bought half of the horses in the stables for Dirk as birthday presents. </p><p>If there was one thing in this world Dirk hated more than his mother, it would be when people spoke to him like he was unintelligent. </p><p>“Okay Okay” Dirk interrupted, Equius quickly backing away and looking at the prince, putting his hands behind his back “I understand how to ride a horse.” </p><p>“I’m sorry your highness, but your mother-“ </p><p>“Shut up!” Dirk shouted, making Equius flinch and step backwards further. He took his leave, bowing his head and moving to help Dave, who on the opposing end, definitely needed help. </p><p>Dirk couldn’t lie and say he didn’t get a power high whenever he was cruel to the workers under his parents' employ. He enjoyed seeing the power he had over them, the way they flinched and cowered to meet his every need, that’s why servants like Nepeta interested him so much. So much confidence that not even the aggression of a monarch could stop her from speaking her mind. </p><p>Still, Equius had always been his least favorite, something him and his mom had in common. He was a tall and strange man who sweat egregiously, he was always nervous and could hardly say anything with his chest, and he didn't have a mind of his own. Equius agreed with anything you told him to agree with which was amusing but ultimately embarrassing. </p><p>Dirk looked up as Jake rode beside him, as confident on the back of a horse as he was off one, sitting straight up without holding onto the reins. </p><p>“What a strange man” Jake laughed</p><p>“Oh I know” Dirk rolled his eyes, fixing his posture to look more presentable.</p><p>Dirk turned to see why his brother was taking so long, tugging on his horse slightly so it would start to turn. Dave had attracted many people in his quick conversation with Equius, which was something he seemed to do a lot, a few maids laughing with him. All 3 new guests he recognized; Nepeta, Feferi, and Aradia. They were all young, not much older than 13 or 14, and they all enjoyed Dave’s company frequently. </p><p>“He’s quite the ladies man” Jake commented, elbowing Dirk playfully. </p><p>“He gets distracted easily” Dirk grumbled</p><p>“Oh, why so grumpy? Who wants their little brother tagging along anyways” Jake winked, gesturing his shoulder to tell Dirk they should get going, turning his horse to start in the other direction. </p><p>Dirk watched Dave for a few more seconds, knowing he’d get in trouble for leaving Dave behind later, but Jake had his attention in the moment and he followed. </p><p>Trying to keep with Jake’s speed the two of them had quickly lost Dave, far from the stables, taking the horses down the mountainside into the dense forest. The trail was thick enough to accommodate the both of them side by side, well trotted and crushed to solidify its status as a trail for both walking and riding. The forest was thick but the sun still shone through the forest canopy, the men well shaded. </p><p>“Russia has so many surprises” Jake hummed, looking all around him, still carelessly holding on to the reins with limp wrists, somehow maintaining incredible control over the mare. </p><p>“It’s an incredible place” Dirk admitted softly, letting his horse slow to mimic Jake. </p><p>“My sister already loves it here…” </p><p>“Oh” Dirk said disinterestedly, distracted by the blooming summer flowers. </p><p>“Maybe I'll follow her here when you marry” Jake turned to look at Dirk, who’s attention had finally peaked. </p><p>“You think?” he asked, trying to hide his intrigue. </p><p>“Why not? at least until I’m king” Jake shrugged, picking up speed and riding in front Dirk to cut him off. </p><p>“Isn’t your grandmother-“ </p><p>“Old? Oh god yes” Jake interrupted him, making Dirk writhe uncomfortably on his saddle “, but i’d expect you and Jane to be married by the end of the year.” </p><p>“I’d hope so” Dirk fibbed. </p><p>Jake smiled at him, such an endearing smile, slightly unsettling by the fact that he had blocked Dirk's easiest way to move away from him. </p><p>“I wish our kingdom worked like yours did” Dirk confided “, my whole life feels like a competition.” </p><p>“You still have the best chance” Jake laughed “how does it feel like a competition when you are so far ahead?” </p><p>“Well” Dirk thought deeply “I hate the possibility that one of them will sneak up on me…” </p><p>That’s how his mother won, after all. </p><p>“I wouldn’t consider my condition lucky” Jake disregarded Dirk again, continuing to force the conversation in his direction.</p><p>“Why?” Dirk fed into it anyway. </p><p>“My parents were poisoned when I was a child, right after Jade was born” </p><p>“Really?” Dirk questioned, leaning against his horse's neck, looking deeply into Jake’s dreamy green eyes.</p><p>“Yes, the man thought my mother was still pregnant and poisoned the both of them at dinner, he almost killed us all but me and grandmother were late to dinner” Jake spun out the story, Dirk amazed at the web being spun for him “and when we got downstairs it was too late, they were both dead.” </p><p>“I’m so sorry” </p><p>“Oh don’t mourn for me, it’s been a long time since” Jake put his hand to his forehead in theatrical fashion. </p><p>Dirk was enthralled with Jake, regardless that Dirk could tell he was stretching the truth just a little. His storytelling abilities were incredible, and every second with him felt like a play. He couldn’t quite place why he didn’t find Jake annoying, even though him and Jane were identical in every way. </p><p>“You’re fun to be around, Dirk” Jake grinned, leaning back on his horse again. </p><p>“Thank you” Dirk said, trying to maintain his composure</p><p>“I don’t have any proper company back home” Jake claimed “especially none so pretty.” </p><p>Jake suddenly turned his horse to continue down the path, leaving Dirk surprised at what he had said, quickly snapping out of it and following him. </p><p>“Wait- Pretty?” Dirk asked defensively</p><p>“Yes,” Jake looked to him “I’ve noticed that a lot of Russian men are quite pretty.” </p><p>“But you think I’m pretty?” </p><p>“It’s a compliment” Jake laughed “I like having you next to me, you are a good side piece.” </p><p>Side piece? Dirk thought, scowling at the very disaffectionate name, but couldn’t find the place to put his foot down without feeling rude. Jake was hard to talk back to in the way he was very used to doing. Dirk shrunk in his seat, letting his proper posture loosen for a second, thinking about it. </p><p>“Oh stop” Jake teased, pinching Dirk’s side and making him jump straight up “That was a joke, you take things way too seriously.” </p><p>Now Dirk was embarrassed, smiling weirdly to make it look like he thought it was funny, but it mostly made him think about Jake’s true intentions with him. </p><p>On the other hand, he couldn’t help but be flattered. No one had ever called him pretty as a compliment, and no one ever felt this comfortable joking so freely with him. Jake felt so right to be around, like he really understood Dirk, and he wouldn’t lie and say Jake wasn’t a pretty good option for a brother-in-law. </p><p>They weren’t anything like each other and it was obvious that’s what Jake liked about him. Dirk was effeminate, didn’t care for the outdoors, serious, and emotional. Jake was masculine, a stud, over confident, and laid back. Dirk admired his abilities to be so himself when Jake’s “himself” was overbearing. </p><p>“Thank you..” Dirk mumbled again </p><p>“You don't have to thank me for being nice to you” Jake laughed again. All this laughing made Dirk feel like he was doing something wrong; Was Jake laughing with him or at him? </p><p>Suddenly, the woods behind them were filled with galloping and the quiet leaves were disturbed with crunching and snapping. Dirk turned to see his father's horse, followed by his little brother—Shit. </p><p>“Dirk, what are you doing!? Leaving your brother behind like that is unacceptable-“ </p><p>“Please excuse me your highness” Jake suddenly interrupted “It’s my fault, I spooked my horse and she took off running, Dirk followed me simply so I wouldn’t get lost. Seeing as your family knows these woods, we stayed put until you found us.” </p><p>It was a good lie, and Dirk was starting to wonder if Jake had been thinking up one for him this entire time, it made him blush at the idea that Jake wouldn’t want Dirk to get in trouble. </p><p>“Hmm… I see” Bro pondered “well, thank you for not going too far.” Punishment averted. </p><p>Dave didn’t look as convinced, glaring narrowly at Dirk from behind their father. Dirk looked back just as angrily, pissed that Dave would even whine about it. He was such a child sometimes. </p><p>“Regardless” Bro spoke again “if you want to ride for much longer you need to hurry, I want you back before sundown.” </p><p>Dirk looked up at the sky, they had started late, and they probably had about an hour before the sky started to turn orange. He nodded, turning his horse back around, being met with an annoyed huff from the mare who was definitely tired of being turned back and forth. </p><p>Their father turned and rode back to the palace, leaving them to deal with Dave. He looked upset, doubt written all over his face at the story, squeezing his reigns and moving closer to his brother and Jake. </p><p>“I’m gonna tell him your lying” Dave threatened</p><p>“Lying about what?” Dirk scoffed “Our word against yours, baby.” </p><p>The nickname was an echo of the affectionate name his mother often called Dave, which Dirk hated. It was enough he was treated like one, did he need to be constantly reminded too? </p><p>Dave shrunk in his seat, looking down with an angry look on his face, definitely thinking up all sorts of mean things he’d never say to Dirk. The boys all began riding forward, hoping to make it to the middle of the forest, turning around to get home in time. </p><p>“So how will we know when we get there?” Jake spoke up, breaking the silence how Dirk expected him to. </p><p>“It’s great big and opened, a long time ago people cleared it in a big circle and the kingdom has been keeping it up ever since” he explained, Jake nodding.</p><p>Dirk and Jake chatted ideally, Dave staying quiet as he looked around aimlessly at the pretty foliage. Dirk looked back at him, smirking and leaning close to Jake. </p><p>“Let’s go.” Dirk nudged, gesturing to Dave with his shoulder. </p><p>Jake chuckled, glancing back and whipping his reins to make his horse startle and start running. Dirk quickly followed suit, Dave barely being able to look up before Jake and Dirk were taking off down the trail. </p><p>“Hey!” Dave called, being lost in the sounds of the forest floor, the horses running, and the boys laughter. </p><p>Twisting down the trail in ways they aren’t allowed to, Dirk let Jake lead in somewhat of a stupid decision, following him blindly— unable to pass him. </p><p>They ran forever, finally skidding to a stop when they reached the middle of the forest, exactly how Dirk had described it. Jake’s horse trotted to a stop, his laughter finally overpowering the sounds it made. </p><p>“You are so exciting!” Jake complimented, Dirk rubbing his hand over his horse's mane, the horse panting desperately “you are so fun to be around.”</p><p>For the first time Dirk laughed, a real laugh with a wide smile, making Jake’s own cheeks turn pink. </p><p>“If being mean to my brother is fun to you i’m gonna be an amazing company to keep.” </p><p>“It’s part of being a big brother” Jake said </p><p>Dirk smiled, looking warmly at Jake, his stomach doing somersaults. </p><p>“You don’t like my sister, do you?” Jake asked suddenly, making Dirk look away from him. </p><p>“She can be annoying-“ </p><p>“Be honest with me, Dirk.”</p><p>“I don’t like her.” </p><p>Jake smiled, pulling his horse next to Dirk, their legs pressed together at the insane closeness. He leaned sideways, putting his hand between Dirks legs, trapping him in the same way he had trapped him in the first kiss they shared. </p><p>Dirk didn’t hesitate this time,  closing the kiss for Jake and putting his hands up on his shoulders, their horses shifting uncomfortably. </p><p>The kiss was pulled apart suddenly as the horses separated, unhappy to be so close together, Jake laughing and rubbing the horses head. </p><p>With perfect timing, Dave caught up to them, huffing and cheeks puffy, obviously crying from frustration. Dirk covered his mouth to laugh, Jake taking one look at Dirk and laughing too. </p><p>“Are you crying?” Dirk teased, making Dave shy away and wipe his face. </p><p>“No! I’m not crying“ Dave lied “I’m gonna tell Mom you're being mean to me!”</p><p>“I’m gonna tell father you're lying!” Dirk said defensively, his horse stepping forward. </p><p>Dave sniffled, glancing up at Jake for any form of pity, only met with more maniacal laughter, making him turn his horse and speed back off into the forest. </p><p>Dirk groaned, pushing his horse to move forward, waving for Jake to follow. </p><p>“Sorry he’s being so annoying”</p><p>“It’s fine” Jake chuckled “we’ll have more time alone tonight anyway.” </p><p>Dirk blushed, looking up at him in confusion, the boys staying quiet for the rest of the ride home. The orange sun was casting over the trees, making the forest floor look enchanted, shining light on to his face. </p><p>Jake was staring at him, smiling, catching Dirks eye. </p><p>“You are so beautiful” Jake said quietly </p><p>Dirk looked away quickly, his whole face and the tip of his ears flaring up red with embarrassment, reaching up to play with his hair. It was his feature most often complimented. Staring away from Jake, he looked down at the neck of his horse, thinking of all the things Jake could’ve meant by them “having alone time tonight”  and what he could possibly want to do with him. </p><p>Wondering why it all felt so disingenuous. </p><p>They were home before he knew it, quickly riding ahead of Dave so he wouldn’t have time to talk to his parents before he did. </p><p>————————————————</p><p>Dave sat nervously in his room, biting his nails raw, tapping his foot against the wooden floor. It was terrifying to defy such a strict rule of the house— Never, under any circumstances, leave the palace unattended without proper permission. </p><p>Especially since he had gotten quite the chew out from his father for lying about Dirk only hours prior, not even able to comprehend the punishment he’d receive if he was caught in the scheme. He wasn’t a liar before, but this was definitely lying in some way. </p><p>If it wasn’t a lie, then it was direct disobedience. </p><p>Dave had almost convinced himself to go back with the plans, standing to find Kanaya before she made it to his room, but a soft knock solidified it was too late. </p><p>He walked to the door, unlocking it and pulling it open slowly, lifting the door off the floor by the handle to keep it from passing across the wood. Kanaya smiled at him, the moonlight pounding on her back, her head covered by a hood and a long cape, holding an identical one folded across her arms. </p><p>“Hello” she spoke below a whisper “did you manage to get any sleep?” </p><p>“Not really,” Dave answered honestly, taking the cape and throwing it over his shoulders, pulling the far too big cape over his head. He could hardly see, pushing up the extra fabric so he could look at Kanaya. </p><p>She nodded at him, pulling him gently out of his room, shutting the door and locking it again. Blowing out the candle by his door, a sign not to bother the prince because he was sleeping; That’s what it usually meant, anyways. </p><p>“Let’s go” she beckoned, holding his hand and guiding him down the hallway, their steps silent against the empty palace floors, not a soul in sight. It was late in the night, considered early morning, and they only have just a few hours to get Dave back into bed. </p><p>Silently, Kanaya pulled him into a back hallway, the window seals dusty from lack of interaction, and one window stood wide open. The hallway was chilly and Aradia waited at the opening for him, Dave giggling from excitement to see her. </p><p>“You be safe, okay?” Aradia warned him, a big cheesy smile from ear to ear on her face, touching his back. </p><p>“I promise” He nodded, putting his foot up on the window frame, leaning his head out to see the fall. It was far, the palace being quite tall, and Dave instantly threw himself back as his center of gravity shifted. Kanaya caught him, shocked as she pushed him back to his feet from his stumble.</p><p>“It’s okay! Karkat is waiting down there for us, just grip them rough parts of the wall and if you fall he’ll catch you!” she promised, rubbing his shoulder and nudging him back towards the window. </p><p>Dave took a deep breath, sitting on the ledge and using his arms as anchors to turn his body, Kanaya having a tight grip on his shirt. He stalled for a long time, Aradia cheering him on quietly, before he moved his grip from the seal and found purchase on a sturdy protrusion on the castle wall. Maybe if he wasn’t so nervous already, this would be a lot easier, but clearing his mind he shook loose of Kanaya hold and quickly scaled the wall. </p><p>Barely taking a breath he forced himself down the wall as fast as possible, his feet and hands barely holding on long before moving, like a spider. He nearly screamed when he felt hands on his hips, whipping around suddenly at the realization that his feet were on the ground. </p><p>Looking up he saw Karkat, a big smile on his face, quickly letting go of him and pulling Dave’s hood back over his head. Dave stomped on the ground to make sure it was real, laughing happily. Karkat shushed him with a laugh, looking up at Kanaya scaled the building in the way Dave had just before. </p><p>Karkat pulled her down too, planting her safely on the ground. Waving up, Aradia leaned out the window and waved, disappearing and closing the window as if nothing had happened at all. </p><p>Dave looked around and realized what was happening, never seeing the castle like this so late at night, giddy with nerves. Karkat held the saddle so Dave could climb on his horse, Kanaya sitting with her legs thrown over the side, Karkat finally squeezing himself on. </p><p>This poor horse man. </p><p>Karkat nudged the horse and it started to move, slowly and quietly until they reached the bridge, two guards standing watch. Oh god Dave thought, swimming in his own nerves, tucking his face into Karkats back. </p><p>Peaking his eyes out, he watched the guards put out their hands, signaling for the group to take down their hoods. Dave knew this was it, he was gonna get everyone in trouble and Dave was gonna get locked in his room for a month and he’d never see Karkat again and his Mother would be so disappointed in him and then his Father would be angry and-</p><p>Karkat took down his hood and the guard leaned forward as if scanning his face, leaning back and waving the other guy to lay off. The guard waved at Karkat, and the group continued without any problems. </p><p>Kanaya looked behind them as they left the castle grounds, waiting for the distance to be sufficient, and for the first time in the dead silent ride, they started talking to each other. </p><p>“You’ve made it!” She joked, shaking Dave by his shoulders with a laugh. </p><p>“The guards scared me!” Dave admitted </p><p>Karkat laughed, and Dave would feel the rumble all down his back, nuzzling his face back into his spine. </p><p>“They always let us through, they act like they don’t know it’s always us” Karkat grumbled </p><p>“I think they like to tease you!” Kanaya laughed, leaning over Dave to pinch Karkat’s shoulder. </p><p>The whole mountain side trail was a part of the castle grounds, spiraling down the mountain until the bridge, crossing that only left 10 minutes until the earliest parts of the kingdom. They weren’t going there, however, they were traveling about 30 minutes to where Karkat and Kanaya grew up; The outskirts of the kingdom. Crime ridden, poor, and apparently super fun. </p><p>Dave hid his face the entire ride, arms tightly wrapped around Karkats waist, pressed so close to Kanaya and Karkat he felt nearly invisible. </p><p>The ride felt like nothing, finding comfort in the chatter of his riding mates. It wasn’t until he heard unfamiliar noise that he looked up, peering over the entrance to the outskirts, filled with light and music. It seemed everyone was outside, every door open, people drinking in the streets and playing songs. Dave sat up completely, staring with awe at the street. </p><p>Karkat pulled his horse to the side, hoping down and tied the rein to a support beam, reaching a hand to help down the others on the horse. Helping Dave down, he had barely reached for Kanaya when his name was called.</p><p>Dave turned to the call, seeing two women drunkenly walking towards him, one holding up a full cup to him, spilling it all over her hand in the process. </p><p>Karkat pushed past Dave, spreading his arms and taking the girls into a hug. They both shouted, Karkat raising his voice louder than Dave had ever heard him before, the tallest girl shoving the drink in his face and Karkat gladly accepting. </p><p>It didn’t take long for them to notice Dave, the same woman who gave him the beer looking over his shoulder, looking back to Karkat with a confused look on her face. Kanaya suddenly came up behind him, putting her hands on his shoulders and squeezing them affectionately like a proud mother. </p><p>Karkat turned and waved the women over, the taller woman grabbing her friend's shoulders, and walking over to him together. </p><p>“Vriska, Terezi-“ Karkat started, Kanaya pulling down Dave’s hood to reveal his face. The woman’s jaw dropped, stepping forward and laughing. </p><p>“No shit…” she started, reaching back to her friend who stepped forward “It’s the goddamn prince!” </p><p>Her friend shook her head in disbelief, laughing and approaching Dave, cupping his face and rubbing his cheeks— Only then did Dave get a good look at her. </p><p>This one was Terezi. She was short and had hair that barely met her shoulders, spikey and ginger. She had glossy eyes, glasses that were falling down the bridge of her nose, and Dave could tell she was blind. She had sleek eyebrows that made her look as if she was arching them at all times. Her smile was wide and kanines sharp. Her voice was shrilly and cracked often, a strange accent sat in the back of her throat. </p><p>Terezi rubbed his face, reaching her hand up and lacing her fingers in his hair, smiling up at him. “I’d recognize that hair anywhere…” </p><p>Dave made a strange face, looking up at Karkat uncomfortably. Karkat took the hint, laughing and pushing Terezis hands away. </p><p>“It’s just like your sisters” she continued “yours is just a tad bit curlier however.” </p><p>“My sisters?” Dave said, suddenly turning to Kanaya, who was blushing uncontrollably, laughing with Karkat. </p><p>“So maybe you aren’t the first royal we’ve snuck out-“ </p><p>“Are you keeping a list!?” Dave shouted, drowned out by laughter and a sudden shove towards the tavern. </p><p>The group pushed their way into a crowded building, Dave virtually surrounded from the strangers around him, being guided to the bar. It was hot and full of life, loud talking and singing, everyone drinking and clinking their glasses. Shoving him against the bar, he put his hands out to stop the counter from digging into his stomach, Karkat pushed up against his back as he shouted to order drinks from the busy bartender. </p><p>The way they were touching made his stomach sink with butterflies. </p><p>Dave looked over to the other woman, this one was Vriska. She was tall and very thin, long blonde hair bushy and surrounding her head, a long pointed nose on which glasses rested. When she turned her head Dave could see a gruesome scar that surrounded the eye facing him, her eye permanently closed, scar tissue spiraling out from her eye like a sun and it’s beams. She was beaten up all over any visible skin, and she was an intimidating woman. </p><p>“Here” Karkat said, breaking his concentration, handing him a cup “have you ever drank?” </p><p>“At chapel, I'm not old enough” Dave held the cup in both of his hands. </p><p>“Me neither” Karkat laughed, taking a swig. </p><p>He was so fun when he was comfortable, and Dave felt very flattered that Karkat was able to act himself around Dave. Loud, he liked him loud. </p><p>“How’d they get you out?” Vriska pulled back his attention, taking a sip of her drink. </p><p>“Through a-“ </p><p>“How we always do.” Kanaya cut him off, making Vriska laugh and wave her hands defensively. </p><p>“What?” Dave asked, looking between them. </p><p>“She’s a thief, don’t tell her how to sneak into your castle” Kanaya teased. </p><p>“It was worth a try” Vriska punched his arm playfully. </p><p>Dave was now realizing that he was definitely in a room full of criminals but somehow felt so at home. The atmosphere was much more welcoming in this dirty, sticky, smelly run down tavern then it was in a ballroom lined in solid gold trimming.</p><p>“You are very young” A sudden voice behind Dave startled him, hands running up his back and around his front to his ribs. </p><p>“Terezi, stop touching him like that you’ll creep him out!” Karkat swatted at her. </p><p>“Oh he’s used to it, he’s been bathed by other people his entire life, how old are you?” Terezi asked, head facing his direction but not focused on him. </p><p>“I’m 16” He answered honestly, turning to look at her even if it made no difference, assuming it’s probably easier to hear someone in this crowded bar if they aren’t facing away from you. </p><p>“Shooting young aren’t we?” She cackled at Karkat, who shoved her back towards Vriska. </p><p>Dave suddenly realized he didn’t know how old Karkat was….or many things about him at all for a matter of fact. Dave looked at him suspiciously. </p><p>“How old are you?”</p><p>“I'm only 17” Karkat said, and Dave felt obligated to believe him “, she’s trying to make you uncomfortable.”</p><p>“It’s my speciality” she shrugged, nuzzling her face into Vriska’s chest as she ran a hand through her hair. </p><p>“You really don’t know much about each other” Kanaya added in “you guys should go play 20 questions.” </p><p>“More like 567-“ Vriska snarked </p><p>Sharing a laugh with Kanaya, the group continued to joke and talk playfully. Dave realized he didn’t have a stomach for alcohol, sliding it back down the bar and scrunching his nose at the bitter taste in his mouth.</p><p>Dave found it comfortable to sit quietly and listen to the group's conversations, listening to Terezi talk about breasts and Kanaya point out someone in the crowd she knew, Karkats laugh overwhelming his senses. It could also be just how tired he realized he was, awake far past his bedtime. </p><p>Karkat put a hand on his shoulder, making him jump out of his dissociation. “Come here-“ </p><p>He stood, suddenly aware of how quiet the bar had gotten, besides one voice overpowering everyone else. It was a man, holding an accordion in his hands, a popular Russian dance instrument. People cheered, and another man hopped up on the table, starting to sing a song. Everyone scrambled to find someone to dance with, Karkat pulling Dave into the mix. </p><p>The song started slow, a few drags of the accordion, and Karkat held up Dave’s hands in a dancing position he was very much not used to. Karkat laced his fingers with Dave’s, holding their arms out like a tango, dipping down and sharply standing straight again with each drag. The song started slow, a farewell ballad, the whole group dancing slowly. </p><p>The song must’ve been a popular one, the second verse met with everyone in the bar who was familiar, joining in, including Karkat. He leaned his face close to Dave’s, spinning him and singing with the song and the rest of the bar, making Dave laugh. </p><p>He spun Dave once more, locking their hands and pressing their chests together, everyone else doing the same thing as the song hit a silence. Suddenly with a cheer, the entire tempo changed. </p><p>The song became lively, everyone shouting and kicking their legs, spinning and throwing up their hands. Shouting Hey on every beat, circling each other and switching partners, Karkat made sure to keep Dave close so he didn’t get mixed up in the exchange.</p><p>Although Dave was completely brand new to this song and dance, it felt so smooth and familiar with Karkat, as if he had always know it, </p><p>The song got faster and faster, spinning again and again, dipping and throwing up hands, Dave getting lost on the music. He hardly knew what he was doing, letting Karkat guide him completely, laughing. </p><p>“How do you know this?” Dave yelled loud enough for Karkat to hear him, his face going red. </p><p>“I grew up here!” Karkat said as if it was obvious, </p><p>Suddenly a shout could be heard from the crowd, different then the cheering and dancing of before, Karkat stopping abruptly and holding Dave a little tighter. The music continued but the singing stopped, and out of the crowd came a swing, and suddenly the dancing became a dog fight. A glass shattered and a woman screamed, Karkat pulling Dave back to the bar. </p><p>Kanaya stood up quickly, taking Dave’s cape off of the seat, throwing it over his head and pushing Karkat and Dave to move.</p><p>Vriska cheered, Terezi laughing happily. </p><p>Karkat quickly obliges, ushering Dave to walk ahead of him towards the room aforementioned. Looking over his shoulder they slipped into the room, the sounds of arguing and screaming going away as the door shut. </p><p>“Is that normal?” Dave asked with a smirk </p><p>“Yes but… can't have you get caught up in that” </p><p>“That would be hard to explain to my mom.” </p><p>The boys fell silent for a moment, sitting on barrels of wine, a cot laid out in the corner of the tight room, covered in pillows and blankets. The owner must sleep back here. Dave sat up from his barrel and settled on the much more comfy seat of the cot, patting next to him to beckon Karkat. </p><p>Karkat obliged, sitting rather close to him on the small cot, shifting so their legs weren’t touching. </p><p>“Thank you for bringing me here,” Dave said with a smile, playing with the buttons on his shirt. </p><p>“I really wanted you to see it…” Karkat looked at him “You don’t know me as well as I’m forced to know you.”</p><p>“Forced?” Dave frowned </p><p>“Oh no- not like that!” Karkat backtracked “I mean like… as a guard! I know your birthday, your shoe size, your entire schedule, every person in your direct family, your full name, your favorite food and color, well-“ </p><p>“Everything I don’t know about you?” Dave asked with embarrassment. </p><p>“Well… yeah”</p><p>Dave frowned, looking at his shoes, picking at the peeling leather of the old riding boots. He looked up, huffing and smacking Karkats forearm. </p><p>“So?” </p><p>“So what?” Karkat grumbled, rubbing his arm. </p><p>“What’s your birthday? Shoe size? Favorite color-“ </p><p>“June 12th, 14, and Red.” </p><p>“I love red!” Dave cheesed.</p><p>“I know” he chuckled. </p><p>“Well um… favorite food?” </p><p>“Stroganoff” Karkat didn’t skip a beat. </p><p>“Yuck!” Dave scrunched his nose “I don’t care for Stroganoff.” </p><p>“You like spaghetti” </p><p>“It’s Italian!” Dave defended himself. </p><p>“What else do you want to know?” Karkat asked </p><p>Oh god was that a loaded question in itself, Dave wanted to know everything. Everything about the man he loved wasn't much to ask, but he had to pick the most important things. </p><p>“Where are you from?”</p><p>“Spain” Karkat said it quietly, looking down at his hands and rubbing his palm, a small smile on his face. </p><p>“Why did you come here?” Dave leaned closer to him </p><p>“My father passed, leaving me and my mother alone. I was only 6, and she had no option but to send me away. I snuck into the cart of a traveling merchant and he took me here,” Karkat looked to Dave, who was deeply enthralled “Kanaya's family took me in, she's like my sister, and I grew up here and found a job at the palace for your family just last year.” </p><p>“What happened to your mother?” </p><p>Karkat paused, his lip shaking slightly, sighing deeply. </p><p>“I don’t know.” </p><p>Dave stayed quiet, closing the gap between them completely, laying his head on Karkats arm. He smelled so comforting. Hugging his arm, Dave looked up to Karkat, who was already looking down at him. </p><p>Karkat reached to hold his face, Dave nuzzling into his hand, unable to look away from his eyes. </p><p>“I hate to sound selfish but I’m so glad you came into my life” Dave admitted “i’ve had such an easy life, definitely not as hard as yours, but I was so lonely.” </p><p>“Pain doesn’t have to be physical, or conditional” Karkat comforted him “I’m so happy, I love this life I have and I've always had family.” </p><p>Dave was confused at his point.</p><p>“The rich man can be just as sad as the poor beggar, because happiness can’t be earned from having a large house or lots of money, even if it helps some.” </p><p>Dave tried to look away but Karkat turned his face, turning up his chin to look at him. </p><p>“I want to make you happy” he whispered </p><p>Dave’s body moved without him, hands reaching up to hold Karkat’s jaw, pulling their mouths together for a kiss. They were both warm from embarrassment, mouths dry but lips wet. </p><p>Dave and Karkat didn’t pull away this time, feeling safe in this hidden backroom, safe that if anyone found them they wouldn’t face horrible punishment. For once, Dave felt comfortable to express the love he had for Karkat, something he’d only been able to do in nervous and quickly written letters. </p><p>Now it was just him and Karkat alone. </p><p>Kissing came naturally, and just like dancing, Karkat led them. The kisses started slow but slowly melted together, mouths parting for only a few seconds between them. </p><p>Dave was already beet red when Karkat slipped his tongue into his mouth, Dave letting out an unfamiliar noise, one he’d never made before. It made Karkat smile into their kisses, and it didn’t take long for Dave to assert his own tongue into the equation. </p><p>If felt passionate, warm, but mostly erotic. Dave was wiggling like an impatient child, desperately pressing his thighs together without being fully aware of what he was doing. </p><p>However, he did understand what he was doing when he let Karkat push him on his back, laying over him as they continued to kiss.</p><p>Karkat was situated between his legs, his tight pants becoming increasingly more uncomfortable, thoughtlessly grinding his hips against Karkats. </p><p>They kissed like this for some time, Dave growing extremely uncomfortable, rutting against Karkat’s thigh for any form of release, Karkat’s kisses becoming more and more insecure as Dave became unable to muffle his grunts and writhing. </p><p>Karkat pushed down Dave by his hips so he was unable to move anymore, taking his kisses from Dave’s mouth and down his cheek and neck, nipping enough so Dave would feel it but never to leave a mark. Without his mouth to shield him, Dave began whining incessantly, his groans turning into something of a quiet moan every time Karkat moved. </p><p>Fighting against Karkat’s hands, Dave was finally able to press his crotch back up against Karkats, realizing he was hard. He felt like a feral tomcat in heat, almost gasping as he continuously tried to grind and feel him. </p><p>“Stop it-“ Karkat said, voice cracking and attempting to distract Dave with more kisses. </p><p>“Please” Dave whispered, pulling Karkat away from his neck and holding his face, stopping him from being able to avoid eye contact. </p><p>“I can’t” Karkat mumbled, trying to pull away from Dave</p><p>“Please” Dave whined, this time more firm. </p><p>“Dave-“ </p><p>“Now!” Dave almost shouted “I am a Prince under which you serve, I command you to do it!” </p><p>Karkat was bright red, Dave able to feel his dick twitch against his own, taking this opportunity to grind on him again. </p><p>“Dave” he started “It’ll hurt.” </p><p>“I don’t care!” He insisted, wrapping his legs around Karkat and locking him in closer. </p><p>“I’ll have to use my spit,” Karkat warned, Dave scrunching up his face, frowning. </p><p>“Ew…” </p><p>Karkat turned red, looking away and opening his mouth, before abruptly closing it again. He pushed his hair out of his face, glancing back down at Dave before shaking his head. </p><p>“What?” Dave asked defensively, letting his legs fall off of Karkat and sitting up, propping himself up on his hands to look at him. </p><p>“You,” Karkat turned away, Dave narrowing his eyes suspiciously at him “You could use your spit.” </p><p>Dave shrunk down back against the bed, eyes wide and face pink, biting nervously at his lips. He understood what he meant, a chill running down his spine, thinking deeply on it before slowly shaking his head Yes. Karkat looked surprised, but he didn’t seem to want Dave to change his mind, wasting no time in taking down his pants. </p><p>“You’ll… have to get on the ground” </p><p>Dave looked down at the ground, an unswept floor covered in sticky puddles, but he hadn’t come all the way out here to be a pansy. Dave quickly slipped off the bed and on to his knees, like he was built for it, shuffling on the hard floor until he found a comfortable position. Karkat threw his legs over the side of the cot, sitting so Dave’s head was between his thighs, his pants pulled down just enough to slip his dick out. Dave put his hands on Karkats knees, eyes widening when he saw it, and if he could possibly blush any harder than he already was you’d think his head would explode from the pressure. </p><p>Dave hid his face in Karkats thigh, taking a deep breath. Karkat shifted quickly, making Dave lookup. </p><p>“If you changed your mind you don’t have to do it!” </p><p>“No! No I want to, I want to-“ Dave reassured, putting his hands on Karkat’s stomach to stop him from moving “I've just never done it before.” </p><p>“I didn’t expect you to have” Karkat admitted, reasonably so “just take your time, I can help you.” </p><p>Dave sat up straight again, taking the shaft into<br/>
his hand. It was warm, unsurprisingly, and stiff while still being squishy in a way. It was thick and still had foreskin, something Dave did not. Infact, their dicks were very different. It was dry and Dave drug his hand up and down the shaft slowly, this he was familiar with, still nervous to do it to another person. </p><p>Karkat rubbed his cheek affectionately, softly grinding up into Dave’s hand, trying to create any real friction. Dave scooted forward as much as he could, finally pulling the head to his lips, Karkat snaking his hand to the back of his head, scratching around his blonde hair. </p><p>Dave hesitated, his stomach spinning, going to put his mouth around the head before Karkat quickly stopped him. “Cover your bottom teeth with your tongue” he said gently, continuing to massage his head. Dave listened, sticking his tongue out of his mouth like a dog, taking the head into his mouth. Closing his mouth around it, he tried to keep his top teeth from nicking him too, assuming that would hurt in the same way the bottom teeth would. </p><p>Karkat tightened a fist in Dave’s hair, a low groan forming in his throat, looking down at Dave warmly. It felt good, being praised like this, even as he was doing something so crude. </p><p>Dave moved further down, not thinking until Karkat's dick hit the back of his throat, making him gag. The gag made Karkat fuck into his mouth, making him gag again. Karkat quickly pulled his mouth off, rubbing his head again “I’m sorry.” </p><p>“It’s okay” Dave said with a smile, putting his mouth back around Karkat's dick and stopping at a reasonable length, afraid to gag again. The last thing he wanted was to vomit on him, though his stomach probably wasn’t full enough for that, Dave sucking for the first time since the dick entered his mouth. </p><p>This made Karkat moan, a quiet and low thing, pushing Dave by the back of his head to go further. Dave obliged, taking in as much of his dick as possible without gagging again, spit forming at the corners of his mouth. His mouth felt so full, and his dick was so heavy on his jaw. He sucked again, this time moving up and down the shaft. </p><p>This was well received, Karkat balling up his hair again, pushing deeper into his mouth. Dave was getting the hang of it, moving his mouth like how he would move his hand, sucking as much as he could without exposing his teeth. Moving up and down, Karkat suddenly stopped him. </p><p>“Give me your hand” he said, his voice croaking, Dave reaching his hand to him. Karkat folded Dave’s hand around the base of his shaft, rubbing his face “Just keep your mouth around it, okay?” </p><p>Dave looked up at him and nodded, looking at the contrast of his light skin against the tan skin of his dick, his mouth suddenly filling. The head hit the back of his throat, his mouth pressed against his own fingers, Dave’s body rejecting the sensation and attempted to move. Karkat had a firm hold on the back of his head, and Dave wasn’t going anywhere. </p><p>His eyes welled with tears and his mouth was overwhelmed with spit, forcing itself out of his mouth and down his chin. Dave squeezed his eyes shut, moving his hand to take the rest of the dick into his mouth. His nose pressed against Karkats pubes, and his throat fought every second of it. </p><p>His throat made gross sounds— Sounds a prince should never have to make. </p><p>But Karkat’s groaning fueled Dave, trying to suck with his mouth full, letting out a little sob as he gagged again. He was so scared to vomit, he didn’t want to embarrass himself. He held on for a while, digging his nails into Karkats thigh, finally being pulled off. Dave fell backwards on his ass, gasping for breath, spit all of his mouth and chin, as well as coating Karkat's dick like a glaze. </p><p>“I’m sorry-“ </p><p>“It’s okay” Dave huffed, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. He stood again, climbing back on the cot and laying down again, the two boys back in the position they started like nothing happened. Dave’s knees were covered in dirt and very sticky, but Karkat didn’t even notice. Dave was still breathing heavily, Karkat tucking his fingers into the band of Dave’s pants, pulling them over his butt and down his thighs in a quick movement. </p><p>The cold air hit him instantly, Dave tucking his thighs together, his knees touching, resting his feet on Karkats thighs. Karkat softly folded his pants, laying them besides them on the cot, hooking his hand on the bend of Dave’s leg, pulling his thighs apart and putting one leg in the air. Dave let the other fall against the bed, no point in preserving his privacy after what he had already done. </p><p>His dick was still hard, sitting against his tummy and twitching softly, Karkat staring down at him with red cheeks. “You are so pretty, Dave” he whispered, rubbing his hand up his stomach and holding his hip. </p><p>Dave loved the way his name sounded coming out of Karkats mouth, unable to form a thank you. </p><p>Karkat spread his asscheeks apart, a sensation Dave never experienced outside of cleaning himself, lubing up one of his fingers in his mouth. He pressed the tip of his finger into Dave, taking it slowly, looking at Dave’s face to make sure he wasn’t being too rough. </p><p>Dave’s face was contorted with discomfort, but he’d experienced worse pain, nodding for Karkat to continue. Dave hardly noticed the one finger after it was all the way inside him, Karkat moving it slowly in and out, Dave clenching tightly. </p><p>“You’ve gotta relax or it’s gonna hurt” Karkat said softly, pulling his first finger almost completely out before inserting a second. This one hurt a lot more, Dave groaning in pain, but Karkat’s shoulder stopped him from being able to lower his leg. Dave tried to breathe, but every movement made him tighten up more. </p><p>Karkat let go of his cheek, reaching up to his face and rubbing a hand through his hair, running his thumb over his eyebrows and cheekbone, shushing him gently. Dave bathed in the touch, the tenseness in his body leaving, letting his muscles relax. He focused on his hand, and before he noticed it, the fingers inside him felt good. He liked being full. That was until Karkat bent his fingers, pushing around inside of him. Something changed and Dave let out a sudden moan, unable to focus on the sweet touches anymore. His hips rutted into the touch, his mouth hanging open. </p><p>Karkat laughed softly, shushing him with a smile. He continued to finger him in that same spot, Dave wiggling uncontrollably, muscles contracting. Dave couldn't take it anymore, reaching down and holding his wrist. “Please… put it in” </p><p>“Already?” Karkat asked, his tone serious. </p><p>“Yes, yes, please” Dave whined, pushing Karkats hand out of him. </p><p>Karkat listened, getting into a comfortable position, putting the tip of his dick against Dave’s hole. It was obvious most of the spit had dried but Dave had no obligation. Karkat slowly started slipping inside of him, and Dave’s body instantly rejected it, squeezing as tight as possible. This was definitely much different then two fingers, much thicker and stiff. Karkat grumbled, attempting it again but Dave forced his hips away. “Dave…” he said, annoyed. </p><p>“I’m sorry” Dave whispered “I want it, please I do.” </p><p>Karkat nodded, clasping his hand over Dave’s mouth, pushing the head into Dave by force. Dave cried, body shaking and thighs squeezed around Karkat so hard you’d be surprised Dave wasn’t breaking ribs. Karkat’s hand was the only thing keeping Dave from screaming, the head finally popping in with a distinct and almost cartoonish sound. Karkat moved his hand and instantly started petting Dave like a cat, shushing him and apologizing profusely. Dave was trembling but he was panting, pushing his hips against Karkat. </p><p>Karkat stopped him, holding down his hips to control how much dick Dave was getting. “Slow down” Karkat warned him “it’s going to hurt if you go too fast.” The desperation on Dave's face spoke louder than words, his body feeling so loved despite the pain. </p><p>“You're trembling like a flower,” Karkat rubbed Dave’s cheek, wiping the tears from under his eyes “my flower.” Dave moaned at the affectionate name, pushing at Karkats hold on his hips, asking for more. </p><p>Karkat kept holding down his hips, but sunk deeper inside him. Again, the resistance went up, but Karkat was deep enough that he could fight it. Dave sobbed uncontrollably, his hands shaking as he threw his arms around Karkat’s neck, pressing their foreheads together, pulling Karkats hair tightly. He wanted to take it, he needed to take it. Every inch that went in, Dave’s hips asked for another one, Karkat's dick so thick it felt like his hip bones were being forced apart. </p><p>Finally, he felt the familiar hair of Karkats pubes push against his asscheeks, and he had successfully taken it all. Dave let go of the breath he was holding, crying into Karkats cheek, hugging him as closely as possible.</p><p>“I love you...I love you, I love you” Dave cried, moaning between his sobs. Karkat cradled Dave in his arms, selfishly holding on to any part of him he could hold. This is what love felt like, Dave had convinced himself, he was so close to Karkat he was sure he could never love another man quite like this. Every part of his body could feel Karkat; The fullness in his tummy, his thighs wrapped around him, his hands tangled in his thick curls, and his skin rubbing against Karkat with wet cheeks. If he thought he loved Karkat before, there was absolutely no doubting it now. </p><p>When Karkat finally moved, Dave choked, holding his breath and burying his face into the crook of Karkats neck. The first movements were slow, dragging all the way to the tip and sinking all the way back to the base, Dave’s ass slowly getting used to the drag, his shaking becoming less intense. </p><p>After a while Karkat found some speed, his thrusts not taking so much time, just going in and out with swift movements. His dick had become almost slick, and Dave was pushing away the idea that he was bleeding enough to form a lubricant. Dave clenched again, sure he was being stretched way more then any one person was meant to stretch. Still, he couldn’t help but moan, his body so desperate to feel him. </p><p>Finally, Karkat found it again, the spot that made him sing. Dave gasped, angling his hips just so he could get more, moaning everytime Karkat fucked into him. Rushes of blood ran to his dick, the pain completely overrun by pleasure, Karkat moaning at just the sight of him. </p><p>Dave looked him in the eyes, tears rushing down his face again as he became overwhelmed, crying for Karkat to go faster. Karkat quickly covered his mouth, knowing there was no way anyone in the bar could hear them, but still cautious. Dave had lost all forms of dignity, and the reserves he had before were gone, desperate to be closer and closer to Karkat. </p><p>“Please! Please” he cried, holding Karkats face so he was forced to look at him “Faster, please, please go faster!” He was so desperate and Dave could tell by the glossy look in Karkat's eyes that he loved it. </p><p>“You are so tight, flower” Karkats praised him, Dave already addicted to the nickname, scratching at the sideburn hair on Karkats face. He was so beautiful, only now was Dave getting a good look at him, so beautiful. Their faces had never been so close. </p><p>Dave was starting to feel sick, his stomach bloated with pleasure, his dick leaking precum down his shaft and dripping on his tummy. Dave started to breath heavily, almost in a panic, choking on his words—</p><p>“Karkat i’m- oh fuck -“ </p><p>Dave came all over his stomach with a cry, the awkward position making it pool at the crease in his abdomen, panting heavily as Karkat still tore through him. His thighs were trembling again, Dave pressing his mouth back to Karkats to kiss him again. </p><p>He wasn’t ready for Karkat to pull out, clenching his teeth together and sucking in a sharp breath, his ass clenching as he existed. Karkat let Dave’s legs fall, holding his dick in his hand, he slid up his body, putting a knee next to Dave’s shoulder on the pillow. </p><p>Dave opened his mouth on instinct, Karkat jacking himself off into Dave’s mouth, cumming with a sweet sound, missing and spraying cum all over Dave’s face. </p><p>Karkat huffed, falling back and sitting next to Dave, who was still distracted by his own orgasm. His whole life he had been told sex was for marriage, for men and women, for making children. No one ever told him it would feel good, or feel bad, and he didn’t feel the guilt rushing over him like his teacher had promised. All he felt was pleasure. </p><p>He finally sat up, rubbing his thumb over the cum on his face, and curiously put it in his mouth. Hm, tasted like nothing. Dave looked at his hand, Karkat suddenly rubbing his sleeve on his face, startling Dave. </p><p>“I’m sorry, that’s so gross” Karkat apologized, Dave laughing and swatting his arm away. </p><p>“Your fine, it’s fine” Dave laughed, cleaning his own face off on the blanket. Not his problem. </p><p>Karkat tucked himself away, Dave grabbing his pants and standing, and then promptly hitting the ground hard. Dave’s head spun, realizing his legs were still trembling, the pain between his thighs suddenly coming back as the pleasure faded. “Ow..” he whispered. </p><p>He was quickly pulled from the ground, Karkat helping him find stability on the bed, rubbing his face. “You gotta slow down after all that” Karkat took his pants, standing and starting to dress him “you’ll hurt yourself.” </p><p>Karkat looked around the room for his boots, picking them up and lacing them for Dave. “When did you take your boots off?” </p><p>“I...don’t remember” Dave shrugged “It just happened I guess.” </p><p>Karkat shook his head with a smile, tying his last boot before attempting to help him to his feet again, fixing his hair. Dave gave him one last kiss before they left the room, wanting to hold him closely just for a few seconds longer before they would go home. </p><p>Dave was so certain that he would lay down his life for Karkat, and it sunk in him that the only person who he could possibly air out his feelings to wasn't allowed to see him, but he could live with this secret forever if forced to. </p><p>He could never lose Karkat. Under no circumstances. To lose him would be to lose everything. </p><p>“I love you.” </p><p>“I love you more” Karkat hummed sweetly, pulling Dave’s hood around his shoulders and rubbing his cheek “It’s late, It’s time we head back home.” Karkat pulled him out of the room, ready to find Kanaya and go back to the palace. </p><p> </p><p>————————————</p><p> </p><p>Dirk drug his pencil across the paper on his desk, doodling many things aimlessly. He drew the stray cats he often saw, pretty dresses he liked from his sisters collections, flowers, and many other things that kept his hands busy. </p><p>He had trouble sleeping, always awake when everyone in the castle was fast asleep, his surroundings so quiet and peaceful. Dirk could hear every footstep, creek, and laugh at any stretch of the castle. He was usually never lucky enough to hear anything. </p><p>Jake had never come to see him, which Dirk would never admit had hurt his feelings, although he was nervous as to what he meant. Wondering still what he could possibly want of him. </p><p>It was well into the morning, almost 2, maybe almost 3, and Dirk was still wide awake. He was sure his window was the only one lit up you could see from the courtyard. He drew that too. </p><p>Pushing the crowded paper aside, he pulled away another one from its stack, starting a new series of drawings. </p><p>Dirk swore his ears swiveled like a cat when he picked up on quiet footsteps, lifting his bed and facing the door. The steps approached and Dirk sat up quickly, blowing out the candles surrounding his desk, shuffling around his room to make it look as if he was sleeping, never leaving a candle lit when he went to bed. Pulling down the cloth that pulled over his bed to hide him, a knock surprised him. Who would knock on his door so late? Especially when the door candle was blown out long ago. </p><p>Dirk held still until he heard another, more insistent, knock. Walking to the door he unlocked it, opening it slowly and quietly. He was surprised to see Jake. </p><p>“What are you doing?” he whispered, opening the door so Jake would come inside, Dirk wanting to talk at a normal volume. </p><p>“I told you I would come” Jake teased, leaning against the now closed door, Dirk looking at him like he was an idiot “It’s 2 in the morning?” </p><p>“So” Jake shrugged, standing next to the last glowing candle in his room, face illuminated. Dirk shook his head, letting out a frustrated gasp. </p><p>Jake walked to his desk, pulling one of his drawings from the half closed drawer, flipping out over and setting it back on the desk. “Cute.” </p><p>“You can’t just do whatever you feel like, Jake.” </p><p>“Why are you so stern, you act like a woman” Jake pushed him by his shoulder, Dirk backing away from him, pulling his sleeve up higher over his shoulder. His eyebrows were furrowed and he couldn’t tell if it was because of the hour, but Jake was much more frustrating in this moment then before. </p><p>“I do not act like a woman” Dirk spit “I act like I was raised in a castle, not a barn.” </p><p>Jake closed their gap again “You act like my sister.” </p><p>“Oh so I act like the only person in your life who respects her position? Makes sense.” </p><p>“I love how you play hard to get,” Jake smiled, pushing his thumb against Dirk's bottom lip, swiping over it with rough fingertips. Dirk shook away the touch, scowling at him with something fierce. </p><p>“You always have that look on your face” Jake frowned “It makes you so ugly.” </p><p>Dirk didn’t flinch before fixing it, not even realizing he had done it, letting his shoulders sag. He looked at Jake with the same inquisitive eyebrows, his eyes like a puppy, biting at the skin on the inside of his mouth. Jake stepped closer to him, taking his jaw into his hand, holding it and inspecting Dirk's face, kissing the corner of his mouth softly.</p><p>The kiss made Dirk feel warm, letting Jake hold him however he pleased, Jake holding the small of his back as he kissed his entire face softly. </p><p>Jake held Dirk's face in a pinch, his lips puckered slightly at the force, the touch a little too rough for Dirk to be comfortable with it. Still, he let Jake do it, putting his hands on Jake’s shoulders and rubbing the fabric of his shirt between his pointer and thumb. It was silk. </p><p>“I like you when you're quiet” Jake said, Dirk instantly offended, but Jake stopped him before he could speak his mind “Not like that.. Drama queen.” </p><p>Jake rolled his eyes, kissing Dirk again.</p><p>“It lets me look at you in your softest form, not being so mean to everybody.” The compliment was backhanded, if you could even call anything he said complimenting. </p><p>Dirk didn’t say anything, letting Jake kiss him aimlessly, the kisses moving from his mouth and down his neck, Jake still holding his face and forcing Dirk to look up, littering Dirks jaw in kisses. He stayed silent but none of it didn’t feel sincere. </p><p>“Well i’m not soft, Jake, i’m the future king of this kingdom.” Dirk swallowed, fighting to break his cheeks from the secure squeeze. Jake tightened his grip. </p><p>“God Dirk, you were doing so good—Shut up,” Jake said with a sudden anger, Dirk confused, finally able to get away from him with a firm pull. Dirk rubbed his jaw. </p><p>“Why do you make you feel so bad?” Dirk questioned, crossing his arms and asserting the distance. Jake rubbed his face, that normal loose aura he admitted now negative. </p><p>“You are so annoying” Jake rubbed between his eyes. </p><p>“What?” Dirk said, a sudden wash of hurt rolling over him, confused at the sudden change of attitude. </p><p>“You are so hard to convince, how much work do I have to put into you?”</p><p>“I don’t-“ Dirk stuttered, for once not being able to think of something to say “I don’t know what you mean.” </p><p>“I’m kind to you, laugh at your jokes, agree with everything you say, I don’t argue with you, I act like you to impress you, and I show up to your room with no one awake to stop us and you won’t give me anything!?” Jake exclaimed </p><p>“Excuse me?” Dirk recoiled “get out of my room!” </p><p>“You are such a brat, Dirk.” Jake scowled back at him, still unmoving from his spot. </p><p>“I don’t know who didn’t wake you up Jake but I am not some girl to be seduced, I am not something to fill your free time with at the castle, and I am most definitely not going to ‘Give You Anything’” Dirk did the air quotes with his fingers, unable to stop tears from poking at his eyes. </p><p>“You aren’t any fun-“ </p><p>“Fun?! This isn’t fun” Dirk shouted </p><p>“Why are you taking this so seriously?” Jake laughed, and it finally sunk in. </p><p>Dirk could say “I’m marrying your sister!” or “You never loved me?” but he knew everything about Jake he needed to know at that moment. His laugh was that of a cold heartless brute, he hadn’t been any of the things he had hoped to be to Jake, he hadn’t been anything more than a game. Dirk started to cry, his ears lighting up red, his crossed arms tightening. He turned his body away, refusing to look at Jake as he tried to control himself, huffing. </p><p>“Are you crying?” Jake asked crudely, reaching to touch Dirk's shoulder.</p><p>In one quick movement he swung and backhanded Jake, shoving him back by his chest. “Get OUT” Dirk screamed, Jake throwing up his hands defensively, turning and leaving the room, letting the door slam. Dirk found his desk chair, burying his face in his papers, crossing his arms over his head and crying. His heart felt like it shattered into a million pieces and he didn’t understand why. </p><p>He cried forever, long past when his eyes stopped producing tears, rubbing at his dry face with desperation to stop. </p><p>Dirk was only able to stop when his attention was grabbed again, this time by very distant laughing, peeking his head up again in anger. Who the hell was awake, and how dare they be laughing. </p><p>He pulled his robe over his shoulders quickly and grabbed his candlestick, sneaking from his room barefoot and attempting to locate the chatter. Dirk sped down the stairs, sniffing and trying to listen. </p><p>Holding out the light to guide him he finally was able to locate the chatter. Putting his hand on the wall, he held the candle out in front of him to light up the room, peeking his head around the corner. </p><p>The light lit up the faces of his brother and Karkat, kissing sweetly, Dave’s hands in fists on his chest. </p><p>They parted instantly, Dirk dipping back behind the wall and holding the candlestick so close to his chest he could feel the heat on his cheek, face pale. The men whispered indistinctly before Dave called out “Hello?” to which Dirk obviously didn’t respond, followed by more unintelligible talking. </p><p>Had Dave been wearing a cape? One that wasn’t his? It was covered in mud. Had he been outside? Why? And why were they kissi…</p><p>“Okay, yes I’ll see you tomorrow” he could finally make out Karkat's voice distinctly, as he was someone Dirk didn’t like whatsoever. </p><p>“Yes! I want to see you soon” Dave answered, and now Dirk was sure they had snuck away somewhere. Dirk listened to them talk, focusing in as close as he could. </p><p>He was so focused on talking he could barely move as swift footsteps founded the corner. Dirk had made it about a step before he was forced to turn around, Dave staring wide eyed at him. The only light in the hallway was in Dirks hand, barely lighting up Dave’s face. Dirk on the other hand was drowning in it, every tear stain, his puffy red eyes, and the deep bags so perfectly presented to Dave. </p><p>“Are you crying?” Dave asked, putting a hand to his mouth. Dirk shook his head, trying to wipe his face. </p><p>“Why are you down here? Where were you” Dirk asked without answering, lowering the candle so his sad face wasn’t so viewable. </p><p>Dave didn’t answer, unable to fake any excuse, still dressed in his riding clothes. He swallowed loudly, barely the sound of flame flickering filling the hallway. Dave opened his mouth to say something but couldn’t, looking as if someone had physically pried his mouth shut. Dirk took another step towards him, holding out the candle so he could look at him better, guilt covering every inch of his soft skin. </p><p>“Were you...kissing him?” Dirk asked, Dave’s face suddenly growing sad, his eyes flashing through every emotion, the teenager erupting into tears. </p><p>Dirk quickly shushed him, Dave hiccuping and covering his own mouth, eyebrows still furrowed and nervous. He put his hand out and moved Dave’s, his frown so pronounced it looked fake, lip quivering like a child. “It’s okay, I won't tell anyone.”</p><p>Dave blinked the tears away, surprised but happy, rolling his shoulders back to stand tall. “You...won’t?” </p><p>“Why should I care?” Dirk shook his head, lowering the candle as to not put so much strain on his arm “...did you think I’d be angry?” </p><p>“I was afraid everyone would be.” </p><p>“Well” Dirk looked to the side, shaking his head in agreement “they would be...very...very mad, like, kill you mad.” </p><p>Dave started to breathe heavy again, face molding with worry, playing with the frill of his cuff. “But, why would I care? Or Rose for that matter...Even Roxy.” </p><p>“Mom-“ Dave started, Dirk rolling his eyes. </p><p>“Fuck her.” </p><p>Dave looked shocked, but laughed, shoving Dirk by his shoulder and calming his nerves. He looked up, suddenly slamming himself against Dirk in a hug, nuzzling into his chest. Dirk held the candle out away from him, and his arms up like he was uncomfortable, before slowly putting his free arm down and squeezing around Dave’s shoulders. </p><p>The hug was short, mostly because of Dirk pulling away, sweeping dirt from his robe. “C’mon, we should get you to your room before we get caught.”</p><p>Together, they walked up the stairs quietly, Dirk leading them to their rooms by candlelight, the silent castle more comforting with company.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Dinner and Big secrets</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>John arrives from his kingdom in Thailand to stay with the Lalonde's, Roxy sees her sister for the first time in forever, and dinner bears new friends.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter was difficult for me to write and I quickly lost interest, but I hope this chapter is still delightful to read and important to the story beats! Also some pretty cute John moments</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Roxy squinted as the sun hit her face, shaking her head and stretching, curving her back like a cat. Sitting up she smacked her mouth, rubbing her nose and yawning. Blinking a few times and focusing her eyes she realized that she hadn’t fallen asleep on her bed, but instead on her window seat. </p>
<p>An uncomfortable knot sat in her shoulder, Roxy trying to get rid of it with stretches, slumping and looking out her window. The courtyard was unexpectedly lively, a considerable number of guards walking and surrounding the front doors, a few disappearing and presumably descending the mountain. </p>
<p>Roxy stood and shook out her messy hair, going to her desk to brush it before she was interrupted. A knock followed by the door instantly opening, barely giving her an opportunity to accept, Dirk slipping into her room and shutting the door abruptly. He was in his pajamas, which was very unusual. </p>
<p>Dirk looked like he had something important to tell her, not in the dreadful way, in the way that a woman gossips. Eyes big, cheeky smile, biting his lip, etc, </p>
<p>“What?” she asked, brushing her hair.</p>
<p>“Did you see all the guards?” </p>
<p>“Yes of course- You are in your nighty” Roxy pointed out, not looking away from her reflection. </p>
<p>“Oh yeah” Dirk grabbed his nightshirt and looked down, shrugging and shaking his head “Wait that’s not the point! You saw the guards?” </p>
<p>“Yes, I already said that-“ </p>
<p>“Well guess what?” </p>
<p>“What?” Roxy put down her brush, tired of his stalling. </p>
<p>“John Egbert, the king, Mother said he’s coming to stay with us for a little while, but she refuses to tell me why-“ </p>
<p>Roxy looked at him with wide eyes, unable to tell if he was playing with her, clutching the brush in her hands. Holding it up she used it like a weapon, looking deep into Dirks eyes with a serious face “Are you joking?” </p>
<p>“No, I'm not joking,” he laughed, reaching forward to push the brush down and back against the vanity. </p>
<p>“He’ll be here… today?” </p>
<p>“Yes, wait why do you care so much?” Dirk asked, slumping his shoulders. </p>
<p>“Why do you care so much” Roxy jabbed defensively</p>
<p>“Cause that’s a whole other stranger coming to stay in our home, like 3 wasn’t enough” Dirk leaned over on her desk, shaking his leg and digging through her stuff like the weasel he was. </p>
<p>“Well when Jane leaves-“ </p>
<p>“If she leaves, that day can’t come fast enough” Dirk sighed, rolling his eyes. </p>
<p>Roxy frowned, reaching up and bopping him on the head with her hairbrush, making him stand and rub his skull. She brought the comb back to her hair and brushed through it, talking to him through her reflection. </p>
<p>“You know, she isn’t actually so bad Dirk” she insisted, instantly getting a groan “I think if you actually gave her a chance and got to know her you’d really like her-“ </p>
<p>“I’ve given her a million chances, Roxy, she’s annoying and talks way too much, I hate how she needs to look done up everywhere she goes, and god is she loud when she laughs and-“ </p>
<p>“She sounds a hell of a lot like you!” Roxy laughed angrily, turning to look at him directly. </p>
<p>“What's your deal” Dirk asked, face gone sour. </p>
<p>“I don’t have a deal” Roxy mocked him “I just think you are mean for no reason sometimes.” </p>
<p>“Shut up” Dirk pushed her, making Roxy push him back angrily. The two were into it in seconds, shoving each other and shouting mean things back and forth, Roxy quickly standing from her chair to latch on to him. She took a fist full of his hair and yanked as hard as she could, Dirk smacking her hands and trying to get her away. </p>
<p>“Let go of me! Let go of my hair” he whined, reaching back for the door he had closed, only to find it had been opened and Dirk tumbled on to his back into the hallway, taking Roxy with him. </p>
<p>She continued to punch him, letting go of his hair, Dirks eyes squeezed shut as he aimlessly hit her in return. Their fight abruptly ended as Roxy was pulled from him, letting out an “UGH!” as she shook away her referee. Dirk sat up and rubbed his face, trying to fix his now messy hair, Roxy smoothing out her nightgown. </p>
<p>“What the hell are you two doing?” Bro asked with a seriously annoyed tone, helping Dirk to his feet and attempting to keep a safe distance between them like dogs. Dirk scowled at his sister, shaking away his father's hand and addressing him. </p>
<p>“Why did you have so many children?!” he shouted, storming down the hallway and towards his room, leaving Bro to turn and get answers from Roxy. </p>
<p>She wasn’t much help either, face still red with anger, siblings are the worst sometimes. Her father opened his mouth but she cut him off. </p>
<p>“Why couldn’t it have been a girl?” Roxy complained, going back into her doorway and slamming the door, crossing her arms and pressing her back the wood. Bros knock followed suit, to which she didn’t answer. </p>
<p>“I just came to tell you John would be here shortly, so you need to get ready.” Bro stood there for a moment before leaning off the door and walking down the hallway, presumably towards Dirk's room. Roxy stepped back to her vanity, sighing and looking at her disheveled hair.</p>
<p>“What a dick.” </p>
<p>She didn’t dwell on it long, quickly opening her closet doors and fingering through every dress she owned. Settling on a pink one, her favorite, she held it up against her chest in the mirror and spun, imaging it on her body. She wanted to make a good impression. Roxy hooked the hanger on the doorknob, changing out of her nightdress and into the new one, of course with a few extra steps. With a few tugs and lacing she walked to the mirror, readjusting the collar to look just right, smirking at herself and swaying back and forth to admire her skinny shoulders. </p>
<p>The dress was a darker pink then her average selection, the usual and very popular white lace all over its regal design, so loose and silky it sat on her body flatteringly, but didn’t squeeze or form fit too much. Roxy had lovingly combed out her hair, letting it rest naturally on her shoulders, getting too long for her personal comfort. </p>
<p>Spraying her neck with perfume she heard the bounce of a carriage, running to her window and putting her hands on the frame, leaning forward. A carriage surrounded by horses and followed by guards approached the palace doors, stopping and someone going to open the door.</p>
<p>Roxy had never moved so quickly in her life, pulling shoes over her feet and running out of her room, racing down the stairs and running until she got to the front room. Her father stood close to the door next to a guard, only Dirk standing waiting. Stopping so suddenly her dress flew upwards, Roxy instantly smoothing it out. She stopped next to her brother, Dirk looking at her like she was crazy. </p>
<p>She looked at him, he stared back. </p>
<p>The two of them started laughing, Dirk shoving her shoulder playfully, Roxy covering her mouth. She could never stay mad with him. Mom broke them up, grabbing Roxy’s shoulder and forcing her to face her. “Where is your brother?” </p>
<p>“Oh um- I have no idea” Roxy shrugged, knowing she was referring to Dave. </p>
<p>“Are you surprised?” Dirk scoffed, the two sharing an angry look, the energy between them always so negative and hateful. Roxy shifted uncomfortably until the sound of the door took all her attention, Bro quickly walked to the opening, the siblings and their mother following suit and closing the distance. Bro bowed to John, everyone mimicking him again. </p>
<p>John looked tired in his face, smiling and returning the gesture, and with a strike of déjà vu the servants carried in his luggage, a flurry of people surrounding him. He gave half smiles to everyone he saw, Roxy suddenly feeling a push in his direction. She turned and her mother was urging her to escort John, Dirk looking as disinterested as ever. </p>
<p>Roxy quickly walked to him and took his hand, John jumping as she took his attention, laughing nervously and cupping her hand with his. Hands still gloved. </p>
<p>His jaw was strong but still retained a childlike chubbiness in his cheeks, despite being older than her, and he seemed to have gotten taller. Roxy wondered if it was his shoes, in the way his hair was styled, or maybe now that he wasn’t wearing his crown his head didn’t look so heavy. His almond shaped eyes sat deep on the high planes of his cheekbones, his eyebrows surprisingly well kept. Altogether, a very pretty face. </p>
<p>His scar looked less prominent today, as less prominent as a very deep scar across the side of one's face could get, but still she tried her best not to stare. </p>
<p>“Roxy! Hello” he smiled, those ever sweet dimples carved into his cheeks. Roxy couldn’t help but blush. John looked more than tired, he looked dead, his face so sunken and dark. He turned to answer a few questions maids were asking him, barely able to focus on one thing at a time. </p>
<p>She was finally able to grab his full attention as he was left alone, Roxy let go of his hand and waved at him to follow her, which he did blindly. </p>
<p>“Was the carriage ride long?” </p>
<p>“So, so long” John chuckled, looking down to the floor. </p>
<p>“I’m glad you made it alright” Roxy smiled, leading John to his room almost silently, certain he was exhausted and didn’t want to annoy him. He looked distracted, leaning his head back to look at the ceiling and the light fixtures, running his hand along the railing and staring at it intently, pausing for a second to take a good look at the carpets, and many other strange things. Roxy giggled, which caught his eye. </p>
<p>“Do they not build palaces in Thailand like they do here?” she asked, stopping on the steps to face him. </p>
<p>“Nothing at all like Russia,” he nodded. “your palace is very European however.” </p>
<p>“Makes sense” she teased, continuing to walk but talk with him “how long was your trip?” </p>
<p>“Almost 5 days, but you should know that” He seemed confused, looking at her “I told you about it in my letter.” </p>
<p>“Letter? I never received a letter” Roxy frowned </p>
<p>“Well that...actually that makes sense” John shook his head, now looking away from Roxy completely “your mother didn’t tell you I was coming?” </p>
<p>“No, Dirk told me this morning!” Roxy exclaimed, obviously annoyed. </p>
<p>John shook his head, not talking until they finally made it to his room. It was still crawling with people, the farthest room from Rose, and quite large. It must look nothing like home, Roxy thought. John took a deep breath, looking at the ground and swaying slightly, shaking his head and rubbing his face. Pinching his nose, his glasses slid up his forehead, leaning into the hold silently for a few seconds. </p>
<p>Roxy walked to him and took his arm “You look so tired, you should sleep.” </p>
<p>John nodded “Yes, I probably should.” He laughed quietly, letting her walk him into the room and help him sit on the bed. She waved the maids away, giving them stern looks that received rolling eyes and laughs, leaving the couple alone. Roxy tried to unbutton his shirt, but he stopped her. </p>
<p>“You don’t have to do that, I won’t pass out if I try to undress myself.” His voice was soft but she couldn’t help but feel embarrassed. </p>
<p>“Oh, my apologies” she said seriously, folding her hands and fixing her posture, had she been too comfortable with him? Maybe she was sending the wrong message. He looked at her, and as if he had read her mind, he reached out a hand to take hers. </p>
<p>“I just need some sleep, can we talk when i’m not so loopy?” he smiled, Roxy nodding. Loopy? What a strange word. She bowed respectfully, turning and leaving the room, peaking in to see he was still watching her, waving. </p>
<p>Shutting the door quietly she sighed, closing her eyes and letting the weight roll off her shoulders.</p>
<p>Roxy took a second to breathe, noticeably alone, she took this chance to sneak away and get some fresh air. Across the palace and closest to her parents room was a balcony with a view of the left side of the castle. It was definitely one of her favorite spots to read, talk, and spend time alone. Her parents were busy, getting the castle prepared for yet another guest, and although Jane and her siblings rooms were on this side of the castle, no one was around. </p>
<p>Opening the glass doors with a firm push, she walked onto the balcony, leaving the doors agar. Leaning on the railing she sunk into her hands, sighing and rubbing her eyes. She was worried for John, wondering what was going on that caused him so much stress, she was always worried with Dirk on her mind, this competition. Could she possibly win such a crazy game? Could she live with herself if she let Dirk win? If she didn’t even try. In all realness, it was always them against each other, Rose and Dave never stood a chance against him. </p>
<p>Dirk was mean and good at lying. Regardless of how much she loved him, no matter how kind or unkind he was to her, or how close she was to him… None of it mattered. He was ruthless at his core, selfish too, and she worried for the kingdom if he had control over it. He didn’t care about the businesses, he didn’t care for the hungry, he didn’t care about their happiness or health. Dirk liked to win, Dirk liked to be pretty, and Dirk liked to eat well. He was always so materialistic and she worried that would take over his better judgement; Because most of all, Dirk wasn’t stupid. </p>
<p>Not to mention the way he treated the palace staff, the only intervention coming from her and her other siblings, her parents never saying much of their mistreatment. Somehow, Dirk had managed to learn all the worst traits from their parents. He was aggressive, bitter, and unforgiving like their father, and he was rude, narcissistic, and egotistical like their mother. It drove her crazy. </p>
<p>What drove Roxy crazy the most was all of the things she loved about him. </p>
<p>Thinking of everything made her cry, her stomach swimming with nerves, trying to take deep breaths and calm herself down. </p>
<p>Her thinking time was cut short, along with her alone time, as she heard the patio doors creak open further. Looking up and turning around she saw a face she really didn’t mind seeing, Rose staring back at her. </p>
<p>A sweet excitement filled her chest and a toothy grin covered her face, so very happy to see her sister. </p>
<p>“Sorry, am I bothering you?” Rose asked, pulling the scarf hugging her arms further up her shoulder. Roxy perked up and smiled, waving for her to come forward. </p>
<p>“Definitely not, I’m just surprised to see you” Roxy followed Rose with her eyes as she met her side “Aren't you supposed to be in bed?” </p>
<p>“I am, but I can’t stand another second alone in that room, it’s so stuffy” Rose grumbled, leaning on her elbows and smiling as the breeze hit her face. </p>
<p>“I understand, I can’t imagine it” Roxy chuckled, standing closer to her sister, fixing a fold in the fabric of her scarf “I’ve missed you.” </p>
<p>“I wish I was allowed to see anyone, I’ve only really seen Kanaya and Dirk for weeks” </p>
<p>“Dirk?” Roxy scrunched her eyebrows </p>
<p>“Yeah, he’s the only person who’s been coming in to feed me, not even Mom likes to be around me.” </p>
<p>“Strange, he didn’t tell me about that” Roxy only thought about it for a second before getting offended “why wasn’t I asked to help with you? I’ve asked almost everyday about you and she told me no one was allowed in.” </p>
<p>“You and Dave are her favorites, after all” Rose chuckled, tucking hair behind her ear “couldn’t risk the sickly one getting you guys infected, whatever would she do?” </p>
<p>Roxy frowned, looking away and down at her hands, sighing. “I’m sorry they treat you like that, everything feels so out of my control lately.” </p>
<p>“It’s not your fault, I’m glad I found you alone.” </p>
<p>“Were you looking for me?” </p>
<p>“No, but that doesn’t change what I said” Rose reached her hand over and put it on Roxy’s, rubbing it lovingly “I was hoping to meet John, finally, but i doubt that’ll happen.” </p>
<p>“I-“ </p>
<p>“No, don’t offer anything. I shouldn’t be here, I shouldn’t have gone to see Dave, but I can’t risk getting John sick. That’s different somehow.” </p>
<p>Roxy had heard about the Dave incident, her mother raging on about it all night. She didn’t know much about it besides what Dirk insisted had ensued. </p>
<p>“It is different, huh?” Roxy asked rhetorically “Funny how that works.” </p>
<p>Rose gave Roxy’s hand one last squeeze before pulling away, standing up straight. “You know, I’ve actually been feeling a lot better” she insisted “I’m not even saying that as a cheap way to make you happy, I feel so much better.” </p>
<p>“Good!” Roxy chirped, smiling hopefully. </p>
<p>“My rash has gone down, I have no trouble eating, I'm not running as poor of a fever… I think if I wasn’t constantly swimming in my own sickness I’d be better already. That’s why I sneak out” </p>
<p>“I think with just a little while more of rest and medicine you should recover, right?” </p>
<p>“That’s what Kanaya has been saying” Rose smiled, and Roxy could tell it was genuine. She was glowing, the life coming back to her face. It filled Roxy with a sense of hope, a warm feeling she hadn’t had in awhile. Roxy reached out and took her shoulder, pulling her into a hug. The sisters held each other for a while, Roxy playing with her hair affectionately.</p>
<p>“Things can only get better from here, Rosie” Roxy assured her, pulling back to look her in the face, holding her and kissing her warm cheek. Rose laughed, rubbing the kiss away and breaking the hug. </p>
<p>“I better go back, before Mom notices me socializing” Rose rolled her eyes “I can’t get Kanaya in trouble again…” </p>
<p>“Again?” Roxy asked, following her sister to the doors. </p>
<p>“When I convinced Kanaya to let me see Dave two days ago, we got caught. I’ve never seen Mom so angry at anyone in her life, I thought she was gonna kill her” Rose frowned, putting a hand to her mouth “but she just sent her to bed, and I haven’t seen her yet today. She’s supposed to come see me tonight with Dirk, but I think I've made her angry at me.” </p>
<p>“Oh i’m sure she’s not! You two are the best of friends, if you aren’t alone you are always together” Roxy put a hand on her shoulder, squeezing “I’m sure she’ll forgive you, especially since you just wanted to see him-“ </p>
<p>“I should’ve known better… I don’t know what Mom would do if anything happened to Dave” Rose cut her off, sighing deeply. </p>
<p>Roxy stood with her in silence for a few seconds before Rose started walking down the hallway, saying a short goodbye before quickly going out of view. </p>
<p>“I love you!” Roxy called, Rose presumably too far gone to answer her. Slumping her shoulders, she let her hands rest at her sides, frowning. Things can only get better from here, Roxy repeated to herself before turning back to the balcony for a few more seconds to be alone. </p>
<p>Roxy sat out on the porch for what felt like forever, wondering how she could have only been awake for an hour but felt so tired. She always felt tired. Sitting and listening peacefully to the outside world, letting the cool breeze brush over her face, and the smell of morning dew and wet leaves refresh her senses. She couldn’t hear people anymore, this side of the palace closest to the mountain's edge, not many people running around or doing chores. It was responsibly overgrown and the wind whistled through the trees. </p>
<p>She imagined John was there with her, laughing and enjoying the peaceful atmosphere, she imagined he’d like that. Roxy pictured soft music, the music that came from the world around them, letting John lead her as they danced. Tangling her own fingers together she thought of his, wondering if his hands were as soft as they were in her imagination. If his hands felt like hers. Humming subconsciously, Roxy pretended he was spinning her slowly, holding her hands and wrapping his arms around her waist, resting his tired head on her shoulder. She could feel his weight on her back, feel him breathing, and she took in a deep breath. </p>
<p>She opened her eyes as the sun peeked through the clouds, suddenly hitting her face with a blast of warmth, squinting and shaking herself out of her daydream. Roxy was hugging herself, giving one last tight squeeze before she turned and headed back into the castle. </p>
<p>Winding through the castle she took petite steps, spinning like a ballerina and stepping only with the front of her feet, humming the same song she had been before. With one last dreamy spin, she grabbed the railing to the staircase and started to descend, before running into her father. </p>
<p>“Oh! Good morning” she startled him, Bro looking up to her, as she was standing on higher ground then him. She continued to walk down the stairs and they switched places, Bro continuing his ascend. She stopped and turned to look back up at him when he cleared his throat. </p>
<p>“What were you doing over here?” </p>
<p>“On the balcony” Roxy pointed roughly in the direction of where she had been, Bro nodding. </p>
<p>“Just as long as you weren’t rummaging through my things” he teased, and although she knew he was joking, his face remained as deadpanned as ever. </p>
<p>“I’m not Dirk” she laughed, putting hands on her hips, scrunching her nose at him. With that she earned a soft smile, and an almost nonexistent laugh. </p>
<p>“Speaking of, were you able to resolve the problem this morning?” Bro narrowed his eyes. </p>
<p>“It wasn’t anything important, we were just bickering” Roxy deflected, letting it be known she didn’t plan to elaborate further. </p>
<p>“Alright, go keep yourself busy until dinner tonight. Please make sure John is awake to attend-“ Bro started, beginning to turn before Roxy stopped him. </p>
<p>“Can I… ask you something?” she hesitated. </p>
<p>“Depends on what that something is.” Bro seemed serious, but he always did so Roxy could never tell. She took a few more steps towards him, so he could talk softer if he needed to, picking up her dress so she didn’t trip up the steep stairs. He put a hand on the railing, creating a nonexistent box that blocked them in, keeping the conversation inside it. Bro’s belt jingled with its accessories, and her eyes darted down to his sword for only half a second before meeting his gaze. </p>
<p>“Why is he here, really?” She fixed her posture and face to mimic him, trying to present herself as someone worth his time. </p>
<p>Bro eyed her down for a few seconds, his eyes battling emotions that his face wasn’t, and he looked around a final time before returning to Roxy. She was starting to get nervous, his demeanor threatening even when talking to his own children. Always armed, always serious, and always focused like a bird of prey. </p>
<p>“I know you aren’t like your brothers, but if you must gossip you didn’t hear it from me when your mother eventually finds out” Bro caved, letting a small smirk pull at his lips. Roxy had to stop herself from cheesing, nodding and crossing her heart. Her father reached the hand that had been previously resting at his side up to her shoulder, leaning closer to Roxy.</p>
<p>“John and his family are under some serious fire right now from his kingdom, he’s facing some revolution type problems currently” Bro was barley whispering, Roxy having to lean uncomfortably close to hear him “his life was threatened and he was forcibly removed from the palace and we were asked to home him until he was safe to return-“ </p>
<p>He suddenly stopped speaking, face going serious again as he looked off to the side of her, Roxy turning to see a group of maids chatting and coming up the stairs. They looked back and stopped talking, hurrying up the stairs and looking down at the floor, murmuring between themselves. Bro looked back to Roxy and moved his hand, breaking the secret space they had created. He angled his foot to prepare himself to walk the rest of the stairs, reaching up and fixing her hair. </p>
<p>“But, I'm sure John won’t have any problem filling you in himself later, seeing how he fancies you.” </p>
<p>“He doesn't really…” Roxy replied modestly, but Bro didn’t say much else before turning and leaving her on the steps. She watched another one of her relatives disappear behind walls before she finished her way down the steps, hoping to find a knitting project to keep her idle until she could accompany John again. </p>
<p>——————————</p>
<p>John woke up fully clothed, curled up above the blankets, his glasses staring back at him on the pillow. Sitting up he yawned, looking out over the room to see it had gotten significantly darker outside. The last breaths of sunlight seeped into the room, turning the floors a deep orange, and John was suddenly aware of how long he had been asleep. </p>
<p>Throwing his legs over the side of the bed, John shook away all the sleep and brought a hand up to his chest, surprised again when he felt his shirt. Oh yeah. </p>
<p>He was starting to wish he had let Roxy undress him, seeing as he was wrong, and the second she left he hardly had time to lay down his head before he was asleep. The carriage ride must’ve hit him harder then he would’ve liked to admit. </p>
<p>Unbuttoning his shirt, John slipped into something more appropriate, rummaging through his things to find something that wasn’t quite like an outfit you’d wear on a days long carriage ride. He wasn’t sure what it was, but he was beginning to notice none of his clothing looked like his new european hosts, and a small feeling of embarrassment flushed his chest. </p>
<p>Nevermind, it didn’t matter, and they definitely didn’t care. He had more things to worry about then how his house guests viewed his clothing. John finished fastening the buttons on his jacket, the collar tight and straight. He played with his hair, trying to make it less messy, when a soft knock hit the door.</p>
<p>Before John turned completely the door was open, and Roxy met his stare with a startled jump. </p>
<p>“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry I thought you might still be asleep!” She clutched the doorknob and it was obvious she was embarrassed, slouching into herself as a wall. Her smile was sweet, though, and John laughed it off. </p>
<p>“You’re fine, I was just getting dressed,” John said reassuringly, walking towards her so they weren’t talking across a room. She looked up to him with those same dazed eyes, always off in a thousand yard stare, a soft resting smile on her face. John stared back into her eyes, glancing away uncomfortably at the silence. </p>
<p>“AH! Sorry, um, I came because you were invited to dinner— well of course you were! Of course you get to eat dinner but uh… I was just sent make sure you actually came” she stopped, shaking her head suddenly “NOT that we thought you wouldn’t, because we think very highly of you but-“ </p>
<p>John started to laugh, covering his mouth and nodding, Roxy flaring up red and sinking further into herself with a nervous smile. She was so cute, wasn't she? </p>
<p>“Well thank you for coming to get me, I had no idea when dinner would be or if I missed it-“ </p>
<p>“I’d never let you miss it!” She interrupted, glancing away and cheeks turning a cute shade of pink. </p>
<p>“Thank you” John smiled, and for the first time in a few days he felt genuinely happy. She was so bright and so easy to talk with, even when she was being awkward. It was never annoying or embarrassing, it was mostly charming. Every conversation he had with her was full of nervous laughter and constant eye contact and it was so genuine everytime. Maybe that was just John, but that didn’t stop him from liking it. </p>
<p>“Are… you ready?” she cleared her throat, fixing her posture and looking up at him, that ever sweet smile still painted on her face. </p>
<p>“Um, yes I am ready!” </p>
<p>She turned and he was inclined to follow, speeding up slightly to stand beside her, Roxy running her hand down the railing like a horse jumping hurdles. How cute, John blushed, looking down at the carpet. </p>
<p>“And when we get done eating, I can help you unpack” she said with a cheeky tone, looking up at him with a sly smile. John opened his mouth in surprise, a playful smile on his own face. </p>
<p>“Hey! I just got here” he defended, Roxy shoving him and speeding down the rest of the steps, John quick to follow her. She led him across the castle to a room he had never been in, a large dining room with tall ceilings, a table so long you could tell it was meant to house a family larger than their own. </p>
<p>It was lucky for the Lalondes that this table was housing exactly that, three people at the table John had never seen before. The two of them were the last ones there, everyone turning to look at them as they entered. John fixed his posture and Roxy reached behind her to take his hand, pulling him next to her. </p>
<p>“Jane, Jake, Jade” Roxy counted off like she was taking attendance “this is John, King of Thailand.” </p>
<p>The amount of J’s in her mouth formed a tongue twister, but the small family greeted him kindly with smiles and a small wave. “Right…” Roxy nodded, taking John to his seat. She sat next to him, sitting between him and her oldest brother. </p>
<p>The table could seat 15 people, and only 9 seats were taken. At the end closest to the group was where Bro was, on his right down the line went Mom, Dave, Jade, and Jane. To his left, Dirk, Roxy, John, an empty seat, and Jake. It was strange to skip a chair unless they were expecting someone, somebody who was very late at this point. </p>
<p>The most natural person for John to give his attention to was Dave, who was sitting rather uncomfortably across from him, picking at the table cloth and constantly shifting how he was sitting. It was easy to look at Roxy and hard not to look at her mother, seeing as she was staring at him. He felt rather unwelcomed in her presence, rubbing his nose and averting his eyes to his lap. </p>
<p>The food was already out on the table, and servants were pouring drinks, the whole room filled with quiet chatter. Roxy and Dirk sat almost forehead to forehead, talking about something siblings spoke about, the other guest family completely talking with only themselves, and the King and Queen were pretty caught up in each other as well. </p>
<p>The only person who wasn’t trapped in conversation was John… and, well, Dave. </p>
<p>“I don’t think we’ve met before” John prompted, Dave looking up at him suddenly and quickly fixing his slouched and unflattering posture. </p>
<p>“No, we haven’t” Dave smiled softly “It’s good to… meet you.” </p>
<p>“Yeah” John dimpled, keeping eye contact with Dave until it became awkward, face wavering nervously, John looking down at his plate and silverware. He aimlessly pushed them around to line up the tips of every prong and point. </p>
<p>“Do you like your room?” Dave continued after a pregnant pause, audibly taping his foot. </p>
<p>“It’s beautiful” John nodded, distracted by Dave’s odd behavior “you… seem distracted.” </p>
<p>“It is obvious?” Dave said quietly with a small laugh, John couldn’t help but smile back. It was a contagious grin and he was starting to think all of Roxy’s siblings were agreeable. Though, he couldn’t say for Dirk. </p>
<p>“Slightly,” John answered honestly. </p>
<p>“Sorry” Dave averted his eyes “So much has been changing lately .” </p>
<p>John tilted his head slightly like a dog, analyzing Dave’s body language and biting his cheek. Dave was closed off, and it was obvious what he was referring to must be him and the English family. He turned his body away from them so they might find it uncomfortable to speak to him, facing the table but centering his gravity close to his mother, shoulders hunched forward. He created a wall around himself that was difficult to work around, even if he was open to everyone around him. Still, all things considered, his awkwardness didn’t seem to come from a place of anger or fear, because he radiated a sense of unmistakable happiness. His cheeks glew with a passion you could only find on the face of someone who was deeply in love. </p>
<p>John had seen that face before, that lost stare that looked at nothing, that soft resting smile that gave away what he was thinking about. You could tell he had a horrible case of Being In Love. Still, he was uncomfortable being in the room, and John had a feeling it was physical from the shifting. </p>
<p>Although, John could be reading too much into it. His family always told him he spoke too much on things he knew too little about, but John had always had a way of understanding people. </p>
<p>“John” Bro caught his attention, John letting go of the spoon that was sitting between his fingers and just hovering above the table “If I’m right, you play the piano?” </p>
<p>“I do!” John said happily, sitting up straight. </p>
<p>“So does our David” he gestured in his direction, Dave only adding a glance to the conversation, Mom elbowing him nonchalantly. He jumped, the Queen grabbing his arms and pushing them against his sides tightly like a strange hug, his discomfort making the air thick in the room. </p>
<p>“Oh.. yeah I do” Dave confirmed, his face tense. </p>
<p>“I wouldn’t call it playing” a snark voice poked out from the table, it was the brother next to Roxy. Dirk leaned forward on the table, putting his chin in his hands like he wanted John to see him, smirking. </p>
<p>“He’d be better if he was actually practicing” Roxy joined in on the teasing, but arguably hers seemed more lighthearted. Mom looked between them with a stern look, letting go of Dave’s shoulders. He took this chance to slouch back into his comfortable posture and focus out on nothing again. </p>
<p>“What instrument do you play?” Mom tilted her head up and looked down at Dirk, her tone condescending. Dirk took his elbows off the table and his face fell embarrassed, averting his eyes. </p>
<p>Dave snorted and Roxy started to laugh, John looking between them with confusion. Roxy looked over her shoulder and filled him in. </p>
<p>“Dirk used to play the violin… and the harp… and the flute...the piano...cello…” she was cut off by Dirk shoving her, whining like a kid. </p>
<p>“Hey! Okay, enough” Bro raised his voice, the siblings angrily faced away from each other, John giggling. Bro shook his head with a sigh and the swinging of a door and the sound of a rolling cart filled the room with a pleasant smell. </p>
<p>Plates of food were covering the table in seconds, warm and inviting smells wafting into Johns face. Everyone instantly started going for what they wanted, John surprised but followed the lead. He always found it strange in the beginning to take food at others homes, especially enough food that a big man like John would need to not be hungry. </p>
<p>After a while he learned it was far more uncomfortable to grab too little food for both parties involved. </p>
<p>However, this wasn’t the food John was used to, in fact it was food he hardly ate at all. It all smelled delicious but it only continued to remind him of his situation, and even fat portions of meat and vegetables made him feel ill. Looking down at his plate he wished he hadn’t grabbed so much, embarrassed to not clean his plate. </p>
<p>John started to cut his food before a small tug on his sleeve stopped him, his eyes looking over and then down, a wide eyed girl looking up at him. He jumped slightly, not even having heard the little girl switch seats. She held her plate in her hands, holding it close to her chest, her big teeth in an overbite over her lip. </p>
<p>“Hello…” John said, putting his knife and fork down.</p>
<p>“Will you cut up my food?” She asked softly, like she was embarrassed. John’s first instinct was to look up at her family, Jane and Jake talking together and paying no attention to her. He wondered if that was how she was often disregarded. </p>
<p>“Sure,” John grinned, Jade setting the plate back down on the table, pushing it towards him and wrinkling the tablecloth. John elbowed his plate away, taking hers and putting it where his once was. She lifted her hand and showed him her fist around her bundled silverware, John putting out his hand and letting her drop them into it. She was odd, her thick unbrushed hair matted against her shoulders, and although her mannerisms were unusual she was charming. </p>
<p>“It’s not so hard once you get practice” John reassured her, cutting up the steak on her plate into little pieces. She kicked her legs, patting her thighs and watching.</p>
<p>“Well you have big hands” She commented, lifting her own to show him her smaller hands, making a serious point here, double taking as she looked between their fingers “You eat in your gloves?” </p>
<p>“I don’t really take them off” John stopped his cutting to turn and examine his own hand, gloved in white fabric. He looked down at her, Jade scowling at her palms. </p>
<p>“Don’t you get messy?” </p>
<p>“Messy? I don’t eat with my hands.”</p>
<p>“I do” she laughed, looking up at him with a wide grin, kicking her legs happily. John didn’t doubt that for a second, her own gloves sitting stacked together by her original seat. </p>
<p>“Well, your highness” John exaggerated his voice, Jade laughing and bunching her dress in her hands “here is your dinner!” </p>
<p>Jade took her plate and continued to sit besides him, leaning over John to take her silverware back, John lifting his arms so she could duck under them. He took his own plate and continued to eat.</p>
<p>“You are handsome!” she spoke with her cheeks stuffed with food, John chuckling and nodding. </p>
<p>“You as well” John nudged to her, Jade’s eyes widening and continuing to stuff her face “when I first moved here my brother fell down the staircase!”</p>
<p>“Is that so?” John nodded, Jade continuing to tell John the most outlandish story he had ever heard. Something about Octopus beasts, giant teeth, and butts. He nodded along, taking significantly smaller bites then the small girl was, fitting as much food in her mouth that would allow her to talk. </p>
<p>She had quite an imagination and she threw around her hands to create a visual distraction, smashing her fork and spoon together to add some sound effects. John wouldn’t lie and say she wasn’t the most compelling person he talked to that night. </p>
<p>“Jade!” her name was called suddenly, both of them looking up to Jane who was looking at them with her mouth open “What are you doing?” </p>
<p>“I’m eating with John” she sounded as if it was obvious, shaking her head and narrowing her eyes. </p>
<p>“Did you climb under the table?” Jake asked with a laugh, John looking between them. </p>
<p>“That’s so gross, get over here-“ Jane started, Jade grabbing the edge of the table and reading herself to duck underneath it again, Jane making a strange noise akin to how you would call a cat “go around.” </p>
<p>Jade rolled her eyes, using her feet to push the chair back and standing, running around the table to get back to her seat quickly. Jake flicked her head as she ran by, Jane shaking her head with her hands on her hips. John grabbed her plate, leaning across the table to put it back in front of the girl. </p>
<p>“I’m so sorry about her” Jane started, pulling her glare away from Jade and to John, fixing her glasses. Jade didn’t have the most envious table manners, and John couldn’t even picture the punishment he would get if he was caught crawling around on the floor in front of guests while eating. However, even if his family could afford a European style of table and chairs, his family often found themselves eating on the floor already. </p>
<p>“It’s fine, she’s just a child” Jade gave him a mischievous grin, but didn’t lift her head to look at Jane who was still upset with her “and I don’t think anyone noticed but me.” </p>
<p>The group looked down the table, the assorted blonde heads on the other side all caught up with themselves, arguing and laughing in personal conversation. John smiled and shook his head; what a peculiar family. </p>
<p>“Well, thank you for understanding” Jane scoffed “she's the most impossible child to wrangle.” </p>
<p>Jane, along with her family, had a quite posh and well-spoken english accent that John found quiet attractive. He always had an affinity for European accents, so easy and romantic to listen to. </p>
<p>“So why are you staying here, John?” Jake looked up to him, also speaking with his mouth full. </p>
<p>“Ah, i’m just visiting” John shrugged, clearing his throat and pulling on his gloves “and you?” </p>
<p>“Dirk is my fiancé” Jane spoke for herself. </p>
<p>“Dirk might be your fiancé” Jake bit back at her with a tone too harsh for the conversation, Jane frowning and cheeks going red. </p>
<p>John laughed uncomfortably, grinding his teeth and attempted to sway the conversation away from whatever bad blood was boiling. He didn’t need to ask how long they had been here, their comfortable behavior at the dinner table suggested quite long, and they seemed relatively comfortable with the family. But, Jane often looked back to make sure no one was listening to her, and if they were, she made sure to say the right things. </p>
<p>“Well, tell me about England!” John prompted </p>
<p>“Oh it’s beautiful-“ Jane started, and continued everyone else. For the rest of the dinner their conversation bounced around from topic to topic, everyone putting in their own opinions on what the other said. Thousands of questions were answered, stories recounted about embarrassing things their siblings had done, or whispered complaints about things that made this palace unlike their own homes. It was comforting to know even these people hadn’t found home in this castle after being here so long, and also in the same way incredibly discouraging. </p>
<p>Their plates had been taken and dinner ended before any of them noticed. Roxy takes John's attention with her hand on his arm. John turned to look at her and noticed everyone had stood and the small group rushed to stand too, sharing uncomfortable giggling. </p>
<p>As they parted John waved a special goodbye to Jade, who was hiding behind Jane's dress. </p>
<p>“They are nice,” John looked to Roxy, who was watching him with an affectionate gaze. </p>
<p>“Yes they are, a little weird” Roxy starred as they disappeared around corners, her eyes lost in thought again “- we should get you unpacked, shouldn't we?”</p>
<p>“Probably, it’s getting late.” </p>
<p>“You slept all day!” Roxy laughed, once again leading him into the unknown. He followed her with so much blind trust considering he had only been in a few rooms of the castle, plenty of space to get extremely lost. The ceilings were high, the hallways were dark, and even the dim candles left much to the imagination as to what might be lurking and waiting. </p>
<p>Stopping to look down the grand hallway, the path twisting into darkness as it separated at many turns, John got lost in it. He swore he could hear the sounds of swords hitting swords, distant screaming, the cries of a terrified woman. John looked into it, the anxiety rising in his chest as every noise got louder and closer-</p>
<p>“You coming?” Roxy asked, looking over her shoulder. </p>
<p>“Uh— yeah!...yeah” John was pulled back to the present, comforted to hear that the only sounds filling these dark hallways were the sounds of Roxy’s shoes patting against the carpeted stairs and the hum of her throat as she sang a quiet tune. </p>
<p>John couldn’t get to his room fast enough, taking a deep sigh and smoothing out his jacket, instinctively kicking off his shoes at the door. Roxy giggled but followed suit, lining the toes up as best she could. John looked over the room and realized just how little he was actually able to bring with him, and although he had at least a dozen bags, not a single one of them held enough to make this castle a home. John couldn't resist the urge to let sadness go through him again, looking over the strange and unfamiliar bedroom knowing this was his life now, this wasn’t a dream he could ever wake up from. </p>
<p>“Hey” Roxy stopped him, frowning, as if she could read his mind “let’s just focus on getting everything done, then you’ll feel more at home!” </p>
<p>John hoped she was right, smiling and starting. Roxy unlatched and swung the closet doors open, tugging on the larger bags full of clothing and throwing them to her feet. Opening the luggage she began sorting through everything, organizing the closet how she did her own. Shirts, dresses, petticoats, bloomers—</p>
<p>However, John didn’t wear any of those things, so she compromised.</p>
<p>Hanging up individual articles of clothing in a desirable order, but keeping all the outfits he folded together close, even if it messed up the flow. </p>
<p>John pulled out valuables, opening the drawer of his dresser to place things like jewels, gloves, necklaces and earrings that were once his mothers. Pulling his crown from its case he turned it, looking over it with a somber smile, wrapping it up in the satin cloth it was in and placing it gently against the wooden drawer. </p>
<p>“Jeez, you've sure got a lot of clothes” Roxy commented with a strained voice, struggling to drag another suitcase to the closet. </p>
<p>“It’s all I really have” John held necklaces up against each other, comparing which ones deserved to be closer to the top “that and jewelry I’ll never wear.” </p>
<p>“Quite the collection” Roxy chuckled, smoothing out a shirt against its hanger before tucking it in the closet. </p>
<p>Unpacking his shoes was easy, lined up in a suitcase that made it convenient to just grab each pair and line them up at the bottom of the closet, Roxy organized them by color. Infact, unpacking everything was easy and before she realized it, they were done. Every suitcase stood open, John's personal items organized on his desk, and his night clothes on the bed. </p>
<p>Pushing all the luggage to the corner, they stacked it to keep it out of the way, Roxy brushing her hands together to signify a job well done. </p>
<p>John took to his bed, trying to undress quickly so Roxy would stay preoccupied, pulling off his jacket and shaking away his button up. It rolled down his shoulders and a small gasp ran a chill up his spine as he turned to see Roxy, face white. </p>
<p>He knew why, and her quick response to fix it and shake the expression away, looking down at her folded hands in embarrassment. </p>
<p>John's back was covered in scars, slashes crossing his shoulder blades and smaller cuts and stabs burned into every inch of his flesh. It was all scarred over, nothing more than pink and dark brown lines that cursed himself forever. He quickly threw the shirt over his shoulders, the chest hanging open as he rushed to button it. Yes, the scar from his face did go past the jaw, infact, it followed him like a stream all the way to his peck, a harsh and unflattering break just under his nipple. Roxy quickly rushed to stop him, holding each side of his nightshirt open, maintaining eye contact.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry-“ John started</p>
<p>“Please, don’t be” Roxy waited for him to lower his hands, pushing the shirt open to see closer, running her soft and cool finger tip over the tissue “what… happened?”</p>
<p>John was dreading answering that question, especially so soon, but he felt like he owed it to her in some way. She held his shirt tightly in her fists, and John trusted her so much despite hardly knowing her. He had only just processed how little he truly knew about the princess but he somehow respected her so greatly. She felt like a lifelong friend, someone he could trust with his secrets and personal affairs. Maybe it was her eyes, or the soft pink lips, or her dainty hands, but He felt so safe with her. </p>
<p>“It...it all started with my father…”</p>
<p>“He had disappointed the wrong person and one night a group of men invaded our home, they tore through every room in the palace and started killing everyone they could get their hands on. I was asleep and I didn’t hear anything until I was being forced from my bed to watch my father be...executed” John said the last word with such hatred, Roxy’s eyes wide and attentive “I begged for them to spare us but they were like demons, one attempted to kill me but a guard overpowered the man and he wasn’t able to get to me again before they all fled.” </p>
<p>“That didn’t stop them from giving me this stupid scar” John raised his own hand to run his fingertips along the sunken skin, realizing suddenly that he never removed his gloves. Pulling the hand from his face he examined the white cloth. Roxy brought her hand up slowly and gently pulled on each finger to remove the gloves, testing the waters with each tug by looking up to him. </p>
<p>John let her pull them off, holding them both in one hand and intertwining her fingers with his. She gripped his hand firmly and rubbed her thumb over his palm, looking to him with that same apologetic gaze as before. “So.. is that why you are here?” </p>
<p>“Well, sorta, but no” John lowered his hand but didn’t pull away, Roxy continued to feel him “Only days ago another attack plagued the castle and it was obvious I wasn’t welcome. In the midst of the night I was forced to escape and board a carriage, I barely had any time to pack anything...I had lots of help.” </p>
<p>John took a deep breath, chest rising and falling haggardly, unhappy but somehow comforted to share the experience with someone. It was hard to tell what Roxy wanted from him but he knew well what he needed from Roxy— a friend. </p>
<p>She was gentle with him, looking up and grinning before finally separating their hands, taking each side of his shirt back in her grip and quickly buttoning it. John smiled and Roxy pressed the folded gloves to his chest and implied he should take them before she let them hit the floor, which he did. </p>
<p>“I’m glad you told me, John.” </p>
<p>“Thank you for listening” he sat on his bed, shaggy hair falling in his face as he looked down to his feet. She walked over to him, sitting besides him and pulling up her legs, hugging herself and resting on her knees, turning to look at John. </p>
<p>“What about you,” John asked, leaning back on his hands and looking at her, Roxy looking confused, “What top secret thing have you never told another living soul!” </p>
<p>“Uhh” Roxy looked away in thought, standing suddenly and surprising John, sitting up to look at her better “You know what Mr.Egbert, you are just gonna have to figure that out some other time.” </p>
<p>“What! So not fair” John said with a smile “I just told you about the day that ruined my whole life!” </p>
<p>“It’s getting late, we wouldn’t want to get to know each other too well on the first day, cause what else is there to do?” Roxy insisted, her voice giving away her nerves. John stood and followed her to the door, Roxy turning and smiling warmly.</p>
<p>“Thank you” she took him into an embrace, John accepting and pulling her slightly off the floor, Roxy dancing on her tippy toes. </p>
<p>They parted, John watching her turn and disappear down the stairs into the dark castle, a quick burst of anxiety running around his body as he watched her go into the darkness before he calmed himself. He was safe here, no need to worry. They were all safe. </p>
<p>John closed the door and looked back over the room he’d be staying in indefinitely, taking one last deep sigh before going to find something to do to tire out his surprisingly awake mind.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Poison and Proposals</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dirk starts making a lot of ill natured decisions<br/>(I.E inner monologues: the chapter)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I just want to say that Ultimate Dirk was a big inspiration for this fic, and the way Dirk is going to start to act is based completely on that idea.</p>
<p>Also, sorry this one is a little short! It was only one perspective this time around so padding out the chapter was difficult.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dirk had parted from his family a few minutes ago, a bowl of stew in his hands as he begrudgingly dragged his feet to his sisters room, hands shaking so bad he was surprised everything wasn’t spilling out and burning his hands. He stopped when his feet hit the top step, taking a deep and taxing breath, his face getting hot and his stomach turning with more anxiety than he knew how to deal with. </p>
<p>He quickly pressed himself into the nearest wall, forehead against the cool stone, glancing down at the soup in his hands. Dirk mumbled half truths and motivators to himself, trying to build up any sort of courage to go through with it. It. This dreadful terrible idea that was eating him alive. He had time to change his mind, trip and spill the soup all over the floor maybe, but then what would the days of planning and psyching himself be worth? Dirk forced himself to continue to Rose’s room, each step grueling and in some way painful. Not physically, but undoubtedly mental, everytime his foot left the carpet brought another thought into his head. </p>
<p>This idea had been last minute, very sudden, and surprised him. Most older brothers don’t think of their dying little sister and come to the conclusion that poisoning her is the only course of action. Of course, Dirk wasn’t like most older brothers and he had his reasons. Atleast, he had very much convinced himself he had his reasons. It made sense in his head. </p>
<p>Arsenic wasn’t anything she hadn’t already experienced, she would die the way everyone had planned for her too, no one would notice. Rose was sick, Dirk was simply cutting his losses. She was a burden, a source of unnecessary stress, she had been her entire life. </p>
<p>Dirk was certain if he kept reminding himself of that all of this would get a lot easier. </p>
<p>He stopped in front of her door and held his breath, looking down into the bowl and swirling it around. Did the beef, potatoes, carrots, and celery know what they were doing? Were they too aware of Dirks additional ingredients? Knocking on the door, it was answered in seconds, Kanaya inviting him in as if she had been waiting at the door, the hot air of the room sticking to his face like sweat. Rose was sitting up, her comforter tucked in at her legs, a book sitting open on her lap.</p>
<p>“Good evening, Dirk,” she said with her usual formality, Kanaya taking her seat on the opposing end to Dirk, Rose and the bed sitting between them. Rose folded her book closed, setting it aside and happily taking the bowl from Dirk, a heavier weight than before sinking on his shoulders as it was pulled from his tight grip. Had it really been pulled? Or did she effortlessly take it from his trembling hands. He folded his fingers together to keep them from shaking, slouching comfortably in the presence of a family member. </p>
<p>“Hello, have you been feeling okay?” Dirk asked the sick women like she wasn’t going to give him one of three answers. Yes, No, Sorta. </p>
<p>“Better than before, still experiencing tremors though, I’m hoping to be better soon.” Her voice was hopeful, Kanaya smiling at her happily before looking back down at her own novel, reading glasses pulled down to the tip of her nose. Dirk nodded, noticeably tense as she started to eat. The first spoonful she put in her mouth sealed his chance to take anything back, he had gone through with it and now it had to happen. There was absolutely no going back now. </p>
<p>“We’ve all missed you, Jane hasn’t stopped worrying about you since I told her.” </p>
<p>“Well don’t let her boil her head off, I’ll be fine. I’ve been sick my whole life, this isn’t anything new.” </p>
<p>“Let’s hope that’s not the case, although it's nice to have someone to talk to every night.” Dirk was being sincere, a sudden urge filling his chest to tell her how he truly felt about her. She was intelligent, empowered, and cunning. She was all the things he was, and thinking of her as competition made this easier. Detaching his own weak kindness from her made everything easier. She couldn’t live for him to succeed, she couldn’t live for him to succeed, she couldn’t live- </p>
<p>“It’s hard to be so ill all the time, truthfully, even if i'm used to it” Rose sat the bowl in her lap, taking a break from eating “It feels like my body is giving up on me, even if my will hasn't.” </p>
<p>“It sounds miserable,” Dirk choked, embarrassed to sound so anxious. That was another way to justify this, to claim he was putting her out of her misery, making this call for the greater good. Harder to work around when she told you to your face that’s not what she wanted, as if she knew what she was eating. </p>
<p>She finished her meal, even bringing the bowl to her lips to sip the broth, letting the spoon drop into the empty bowl with a satisfying clank. Rose rubbed her lips, yawning and stretching, pushing the bowl back to Dirk. He took it, clutching it tight against his chest as he stood up, reaching a free hand to rub her forehead. Leaning down he kissed her, smoothing her hair back down and saying a quick goodnight to the ladies. </p>
<p>He shut the door and hit the wall with a nervous laugh, looking down at the bowl to now see the empty bottom, looking back up to him as if communicating what they had done together. Dirk rubbed his forehead with the back of his hand, looking around quickly and darting down the hallway. He returned the cirmanic to the first maid he saw, shoving it into her arms and taking his leave as soon as possible. </p>
<p>The hardest part was over, Dirk reminded himself, she’s eaten it once and now it’ll only get easier. </p>
<p>And it did, it did get easier. </p>
<p>Everyday, every dish, at every meal hour he delivered her something to eat. For weeks she took the meal, ate it all, and fell back to sleep. It became almost routine, pouring the deadly liquid in drop by drop seemed like something mandatory to each recipe, and some days he didn’t even think about what he had done before he left her. He kissed her every time, a soft peck on her sweaty forehead. </p>
<p>It was simple at first, no changes, but as the weeks passed and her immune system became worse and worse, the castle fell back into quarantine. Dirk knew he would be in this for the long hall, barley putting enough poison in each dish to give her a stomach ache, but soon the symptoms would creep up on the princess. Dirk would keep defending himself, saying he had no idea why she was getting so ill, insisting every time he came to feed her she insisted she was doing better and better. The lying was the easiest part of the entire process. </p>
<p>Summer swept by them at a petty pace and life in the palace went unchanged for the most part, besides the ever looming knowledge that Rose was getting worse and worse. That, and the surprisingly beautiful music creeping down the hallway from the practice room. </p>
<p>Dirk walked past the corridor, stopping to listen for only a second, trying to make out who could be playing. He had never heard any good music come from that piano since Dave was born. Leaning against the wall he enjoyed the music, only turning when his mother approached him. </p>
<p>“Oh! Dirk, perfect” she smiled, Dirk quickly pulling himself from the wall and looking at her. He didn’t realize how tall he was getting, finally able to look her in the eyes even with her heels on. </p>
<p>“What do you want?” </p>
<p>“Since you're already here, I need you to tell Dave about Rose.” </p>
<p>“About Rose…?” he egged her on, as if she didn’t finish her sentence. </p>
<p>“Don’t play coy, Dirk, we all know she’s dying and Dave deserves to know too.” </p>
<p>“You don’t know she’s dying, she was getting better and she can get better aga-“ </p>
<p>“Derek, i’m tired of the way you disrespect me, you are going to do as I say and you are going to do it without talking back. Understand me?” Her voice was bitter, scowling at him with something nasty. Dirk looked down, feeling like a child again, his stomach pooling with anger he couldn’t break free to express. She always treated him so coldly, like he was insubstantial to her. He was, he was insubstantial to her. He wanted to grab her throat and scream in her face, blow up all the anger he felt towards her, kill her if he could: But he couldn’t. His hands stayed frozen at his sides, nodding politely and saying a soft goodbye as she walked away. Why did he let her do this to him? Why after all these years of hatred did he still strive to gain her approval, for her to smile and compliment him, to be her favorite son….</p>
<p>Dirk looked down the hallway to where Dave must’ve been, grimacing and walking to the door. As he got closer he realized Dave wasn’t alone, pulling the door open silently. Looking through the crack he could see his brother, pausing his song to look up and speak to someone, a further crack of the door revealing their new guest. </p>
<p>John leaned over the instrument, laughing and pointing at different keys, Dave clumsily pressing each one. </p>
<p>“Okay, and that one sounds right?” John asked, pointing at the same key again so Dave would mash it a few more times. </p>
<p>“Yeah, so” Dave started to play a small tune, a few keys strung together in a pleasant mini song. Dirk had been spying on Dave a lot lately but it always seemed to teach him something interesting. </p>
<p>“Good! Your form is amazing” John had a cute smile, white and bulky teeth just like the English family “but it’s lacking emotion, you're writing this song for somebody, right?” </p>
<p>“Well sorta, I’m writing it about them but I’ll probably never show them…” </p>
<p>“Hm, well let’s make it good enough that if you ever want to show her it’ll be worth listening to!” John teased, rounding the piano and sitting next to Dave, his brother scooting over so the distance was comfortable. Dirk smiled to himself. her. </p>
<p>John played the keys first, Dave nodding and following suit at a much slower pace. Everytime John complimented him, the back of Dave’s ears turned bright red, giving away the fact that he was blushing. It was silly how easy it was to make Dave feel good, especially since he never stopped being complimented by everyone around him. </p>
<p>“I can’t explain it” Dave looked up at John “it’s like my fingers are playing with me, when I think of hi- her- when I think of her my emotions just do the rest! I don’t even have to think about it” </p>
<p>“When you play from the heart everything feels like that, you must really be in love…” John smiled, taking Dave’s hand and fixing the placement on the keys. He started playing again, a song coming naturally from his usually very untalented hands, and Dirk wanted to enjoy it. However, he was here for a reason. </p>
<p>Dirk opened the door fully, no longer hiding himself, and both the boys turned to look at him. Dave stopped playing his song harshly, hands shooting to cross at his lap. Dirk looked between them and slowly raised his hand to knock on the open door, earning a chuckle from John. </p>
<p>“Sorry to interupt your lesson—uh” Dirk stuttered, looking at John and realizing this probably wasn’t the proper way to give a guest breaking news. He probably should also consider the fact that Dave will not want to learn about his own sister's deteriorating health in front of someone who was a stranger only a night ago. Although, they seemed to already get along quite well. John adored speaking of love and Dave liked dark haired foreign men; it was a match made in heaven. “Can I talk to you...alone.” </p>
<p>“Why?” Dave asked with a slouch of the shoulders, that same, infuriating, doe eyed expression he always had on his face looking up at him. </p>
<p>“I don’t” Dirk gave John heavy side eye “I don’t think it’s appropriate to talk about in front of our guest-“ </p>
<p>“John, please call me John.” </p>
<p>“I don’t think it’s appropriate to talk about in front of John, my apologies” and Dirk tried to hide his annoyance but it was impossible, his tone dripping with sarcasm. John's smile quickly tightened and he looked away and back at the piano, pressing keys aimlessly. Dave threw his legs over the bench and followed his brother into the hallway, leaving the door agar. </p>
<p>Dave was too pretty for his own good, soft expression resting on his face as he unwrinkled his shirt, picking at a loose button with his slim and soft hands, blonde waves swaying in his face as he looked down. Everything about him Dirk had a boiling jealousy for and it was almost torture just to be forced to see him. To see him happy, glowing, cheeks rosy, it all made Dirk all the more excited to be the bearer of bad news. </p>
<p>“Mom wanted me to tell you about...Rose…” </p>
<p>Dave’s head shot up, the button still pressed between his fingers as his posture tensed, looking Dirk so deeply in the eyes it was uncomfortable. Why did he insist on maintaining such persistent eye contact, as if any second he’d be forced to paint a photorealistic portrait of Dirks brown eyes from memory. </p>
<p>“She’s getting worse, a lot worse” Dirk laid it out flat, trying not to sound too cold. </p>
<p>The best part about Dave’s need to look into you so deeply was being able to see all his emotions when you first told him something. The previous wonder and happiness fled from them, the skin around them wrinkling as he furrowed his eyebrows, his mouth folding into that comedically dramatic frown. He looked confused, as if the idea of her dying hadn’t crossed his mind once before this moment, and Dirk was delighted to be the one to force him to experience it. </p>
<p>“A lot worse?” Dave’s voice was hoarse, audibly choking down a ball of spit and he looked to Dirk for comfort, trying to pick apart the bad news to hopefully hear better news. He did that a lot, always having a tough time taking the bitter, always needing a limelight to make him feel better about every situation. </p>
<p>“The doctor, he thinks she only has weeks-“ </p>
<p>“Weeks?!” Dave said with a sudden volume that even shocked Dirk, his face looming with dread, as if no one had told him the details of her condition. In fact, that was true, no one had told him the details of her condition. He swallowed the guilt rising up his throat, trying to push down any thoughts of remorse, living strictly in the moment. </p>
<p>“Yes, she’s been getting sicker and sicker and she’s bedridden now-“ </p>
<p>“Why hasn’t anyone told me?” Dave tried to maintain his composure, both boys very aware that the door was still open “This is so unfair, no one ever thinks to tell me anything!” </p>
<p>“Dave-“ </p>
<p>“My sister is dying, I haven’t seen her in weeks, and this whole time she’s been dying? How could you hide something like this from me?!” </p>
<p>“Dave thats-“ </p>
<p>“I have to go see her-“ Dave turned and tried to hurry down the hallway, Dirk quickly striking out and grabbing his hand, tugging on him harshly. </p>
<p>“Go see her? Are you insane” Dirk spoke like a snake, bitter and hateful “you know she is so ill and contagious she is dying and you’d still risk seeing her? How selfish could you possibly be?” </p>
<p>Dave sunk into himself, ripping his hand away, looking at the floor with anger. Tears welled in his eyes and his nostrils flared, his once rosy cheeks now red from pressure as he forced himself to stop crying. He was an ugly, over dramatic, and loud cryer and it was the most embarrassing thing Dirk had ever witnessed. Dave crying would probably be the last thing they both needed, and Dirk wasn’t looking to crush him up that much today. He still couldn’t help but feel pity when he saw him like this, shoulders shaking and fists bunched, face saying a million things without Dave voicing them. It was a sad sight and if Dirk didn’t feel pity he definitely felt solace. He walked to his brother, taking a preparing breath before grabbing his shoulder, and pulling his stiff form into a hug. </p>
<p>Dave slumped right into it, hugging him closely and pressing his face into Dirk's shoulder. It was unlike their usual hugs, always awkward and cold, but now they melted together and Dave sucked in labored breaths to stop his tears. Dirk scratched his hand up the back of Dave’s head, rubbing a clump of hair between his fingers, jealous of the soft and voluminous texture.</p>
<p>Dirk couldn’t decide how to feel about Dave, no matter how scary he attempted to be, he always felt like he owed sympathy for his brother. Was Dave his sibling, or was Dave his enemy? Did he want to give him a safe space to vent his feelings of homosexuality, be someone who protects him from their fathers wrath? Or did he want to be the one who forced him from grace, be the one to behead him. Maybe it was in the same way you pity a dying animal, or maybe he really did love Dave. Maybe his jealousy is really what fueled a forced hatred? But recently Dirk had come to terms with his warped morality, and he wasn’t sure his love for anyone could stop him from helping himself succeed. Whether succeeding meant killing his sister, or if succeeding meant gaining his mother's affection. </p>
<p>Dirk then ended the hug, as he always did, pulling his sleeve over the back of his hand and rubbing the tears on Dave’s cheeks away. Shaking out his hand he took proper posture again, walking past Dave and down the hallway. Looking back at him, the brothers met eye to eye again. </p>
<p>“Please” Dave started “don’t keep me in the dark anymore” </p>
<p>Dirks eye twitched, taking a sharp breath, shaking his head subtly and turning his face away again. “I’ll tell you everything I know...when I know.” </p>
<p>“I’m just begging you, don’t let the next time I hear about her be in her death.” </p>
<p>That guilt crept in again and Dirk couldn’t bring himself to look back at his brother, nodding quietly and continuing to take his leave. Before he turned completely he looked back down the corridor, Dave facing away but not reentering the practice room, head in his hands. He rubbed his face vigorously before opening the door, John facing him, the door shutting and hiding the men again. Dirk let his shoulders slack, huffing, and looking down at the ground. Now wasn’t really the time for empathy to take over and he certainly couldn’t let Dave be the one to show him that. Dirk was doing the right thing for himself and sometimes the right thing isn’t a good thing. He wasn’t worried about Rose getting married and winning, he was worried about her big ideas. Worried about her overthrowing him, changing the system and him suffering at her expense. Rose was just a test run, a test to see if he could really do it. If he could kill anyone who posed a threat to him— even if that person happened to be his family. </p>
<p>Deep in thought, he hardly noticed he had company, tensing in fear when he finally noticed Nepeta. She was standing stick straight, head bowed and her eyes uncomfortably strained to look up at him. It was creepy in a way and Dirk backed up, waving his hand at her to stand normally. She did, swinging her arms behind her back and grinning. </p>
<p>“Good afternoon, Nepeta” Dirk looked down at the young girl, her shortness surprising every time he spoke to her. </p>
<p>“I’m here to escort you to lady Jane Crocker” Nepeta sounded so unnatural speaking in such a proper way. When Kanaya spoke it rolled off her tongue like she was meant to be nobility herself, when Nepeta spoke she sounded like a child saying a swear word for the first time. Aside from that, Dirk rolled his eyes. Seeing Jane was the last thing he wanted...ever. </p>
<p>Especially now, his mind was so crowded and he hardly needed more to think about. </p>
<p>“Of course, let's go then” Dirk squeezed out a smile, Nepeta taking his side and walking. He didn’t need an escort to find his way around the castle, but there was no guarantee that if he took himself he’d ever make it. </p>
<p>“Are you excited?” Nepeta asked gleefully, dropping her serious tone and swaying from side to side. </p>
<p>“I’m...I’m excited to be doing something I suppose” He didn’t know what struck him to be honest with Nepeta, but her wide eyes and scowl were funny and he liked to watch her play matchmaker. </p>
<p>“You should be very excited” Nepeta judged, hands on her hips and lip pouting “she’s your fiancé!” </p>
<p>“She is not my fiancé, not yet at least” Dirk shook his head looking down at Nepeta. </p>
<p>“Oh...well everyone is saying you are gonna get married?” Nepeta looked back to him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. </p>
<p>“Who is Everyone?” Dirk's tone was cold and Nepeta very obviously didn’t want to tell him. </p>
<p>“Well uh” she started “Equius said-“ </p>
<p>Dirk met her with laughter, the sort that was laced with condescension, putting a hand to his chest to control himself. She looked at him with wet eyes, obviously confused by his sudden harshness in her presence. </p>
<p>“Excuse me” Dirk chuckled “Don’t bother with anything that fool has to say, he’s an idiot.” </p>
<p>“He’s my best friend!” Nepeta said loudly, tensing up and covering her mouth a little too late. Dirk felt a little embarrassed, cheeks flushing, breaking eye contact. </p>
<p>“Well um” Dirk cleared his throat “Regardless of who told you, it’s not true. I do plan on marrying her but spreading rumors only ruins the surprise when it finally happens.” </p>
<p>“What about when Jane says it-“ </p>
<p>“She’s just ahead of herself.” Dirk cut her off, making a harsh cutting motion with his hand to signify the conversation was over. Nepeta looked down with a disappointed look on her face, picking apart her nails. Dirk walked as if she wasn’t there, escorting himself to the library, amazed by how many different rooms this castle had. Surprised by how many different rooms this castle had that he had bad memories in. This room in particular made his cheek sting. </p>
<p>“Well um- have a good night, your highness” She bowed, Dirk reaching out a hand and taking her attention. </p>
<p>“I promise you we’ll get married, because I love her” he choked out, Nepeta's face flooding with excitement. She clasped her hands together, bouncing on her toes slightly. Dirk smiled at her childlike behavior, pulling his hand away. </p>
<p>“Do you mean-“ she grinned.</p>
<p>“Could be possible” Dirk hit her shoulder gently, Nepeta giggling uncontrollably, picking up her dress and scurrying away. She stopped, ran back, and bowed. Dirk nodded his head at her and she took off excitedly down the hallway to whoever she planned to tell. </p>
<p>Now that he spoke it into existence, he had to do it. </p>
<p>Dirk pushed the library doors open, peaking a head in to find Jane. It was a vast and deep room, shadows casted by every shelf and covered with candles. Still, she sat at the nearest seat to the door, leaning over the armrest to look through the books next to her in presumed boredom. She kicked her feet as they hung off the chair, sitting on her knees with her arm stretched as far as her body would let her without falling, trying to inch her fingers to her book of choice. </p>
<p>She was cute in moments like these— in a way. </p>
<p>“Need help?” Dirk spoke up, Jane turning suddenly and slipping, catching herself on the shelf. Dirk quickly came to her aid, letting her take his hand and helping her sit on her butt again. Jane giggled, smoothing off her dress as she stood, meeting Dirk about halfway. </p>
<p>“Well, you always manage to see me at my worst” She smiled, Dirk giving her one back. Usually, he found her trying way too hard to not be at her worst, Dirk corrected her in his head. He’d never say such mean things to her out loud, especially when he had her so wrapped around his finger. Dirk couldn’t risk that ribbon fraying even a little. </p>
<p>“I don’t mind” Dirk shrugged “If I can ask, why did you want to see me?” </p>
<p>“Well can’t I want to see you just to see you?” Jane asked with a pout. </p>
<p>“Of course, but I don’t think that’s the case.” </p>
<p>“You are too good at this, Derek, like a little detective!” </p>
<p>“It’s a talent” Dirk smiled, uncomfortable with her calling him by his father's name, too exhausted to remind her not to do it again. </p>
<p>“I actually came to talk about my families parting” Jane looked down at her hands, unable to hold still. Instead of hearing her shoes scuff and her dress wrinkle, Dirk pushed for them to start walking up and down the isles of books. </p>
<p>“What of it?” Dirk played coy “you don’t wish to part soon, do you?” </p>
<p>“Well, with John now staying here indefinitely, and your dear sister's worsening condition, I’m worried we are overstaying our welcome.” </p>
<p>Dirk had to make a very difficult choice now, in under a few seconds, on if he was gonna really seal the deal. A few weeks ago, what she was saying would sound like music to his ears. A huge relief off his shoulders. Now, however, was the perfect time to cuff her. He knew if he let her leave, as much as he wanted to, it would be over. With John now staying in the castle and Roxy’s obvious attraction to him, Dirk would stand no chance. On the other hand, he could let her go, let all of this go. Let Roxy win, give in to his heart and have his own secret love affairs with a handsome guard or a bed maid. He would, but he can’t. Dirk wouldn’t be poisoning his sister to just say fuck it now, he couldn’t stop now because he already committed.</p>
<p>This was simply the next step. It would be worth it in the end, worth it when he was king. </p>
<p>“Jane, you are always welcome” He took her hands, now hidden between looming and dusty bookshelves “I couldn’t imagine my days without you.” </p>
<p>“Really?” Jane's voice cracked, squeezing him back.</p>
<p>“Really. I guess I had been taking these weeks for granted, but now the idea of you not being here makes me feel ill myself.” </p>
<p>Jane took in every word, eyes wide and lips parted, her breaths becoming increasingly heavier. Dirk held her hands more passionately, letting one of his hands slide up her exposed arms. She was steaming hot and Dirk was aware he must be cold, rubbing her forearm firmly. Her eyes shot between his eyes and hand, face red and she bit at her lip. She was obviously flustered, and Dirk knew a sexual approach to a proposal was unusual, but this energy had always worked between them. Dirk twisted the fabric of her sleeve between his pointer and thumb, Jane batting her eyelashes at him. </p>
<p>“I don’t want to spend even a second more apart from you…” Dirk trailed off, moving the traveling hand up and to her chest, rubbing her shoulder. Rubbing his thumb over her collarbones, Dirk scanning every inch of her face, glad to know it was working. </p>
<p>“Dirk” her throat was dry, her own hand reaching to cup his cheek, the couple touching more skin of the other then they ever had. They felt so terribly near, and at any moment Dirk felt he could strike her. </p>
<p>They had pushed their chests so close together that the hands that were still clasped together were pressed between them, Jane affectionately playing with his sideburn hair. Dirk was inches from squeezing her throat and it was inappropriately intimate, the entire interaction completely unbecoming of royalty. </p>
<p>“Jane, won’t you stay here with me?”</p>
<p>“Me and my family?”</p>
<p>“You, i want you to stay here with me forever-“ </p>
<p>Jane blushed wildly, eyes going hazy for a second, her face processing the question. Still she didn’t understand, and the fact that nothing was between them and they were so hot and close was making it all the harder to process. </p>
<p>“Dirk are you…” she trailed off, their faces inching closer and closer. </p>
<p>“Jane, won’t you be my wife?” </p>
<p>Dirk felt a weight drop heavily to the pit of his stomach, the question now out in the open, and if it was unreal before that moment it was certainly real now. Jane nodded slowly, and soon quickly, and then suddenly she was laughing uncontrollably and the distance between them was closed with a kiss. The kiss was as passionate and suggestive as the whole interaction, mouths locked together with burning lips, tender and wet and romantic. Dirk had never been kissed like this before...well besides by her own brother. </p>
<p>It wasn’t smart to think of that right now, breaking the kiss he looked to Jane, who he was still holding so dearly. They shared another kiss, then another, and another. Soon their mouths didn’t even part, only opening their mouths to put breaks between each kiss. They didn’t stop for a while, Jane continued to pull kisses from him, suddenly ripping her mouth away much to Dirks surprise.</p>
<p>“What is it, darling?” </p>
<p>“Do...do you mean it?” Jane couldn't look at him. </p>
<p>“Mean it? I would tell every person in this castle myself to prove how much I mean it!” Dirk insisted, Jane smiling softly and blushing, looking to Dirk with tears in her eyes. </p>
<p>“Oh- I love you!” she shouted, throwing her arms around his shoulders and hugging him. Dirk held her back, eyes wide open as he looked down her back. </p>
<p>They parted and kissed a few seconds more, Jane putting some comfortable distance between the two after the steamy exchange. “I can’t believe I wanted to leave, I hope that doesn’t disprove my love of you!” </p>
<p>“I understood where you were coming from, but I couldn’t stand to see you go” Dirk rubbed his thumb over her bottom lip, eyes suddenly narrowing and lifting her head gently to meet his eyes “but, if your siblings must leave they can. They can’t stay here forever, can they? Jake will be a king soon.” </p>
<p>Jane nodded, eager to agree with her fiancé, lifting a hand to hold his wrist, leaning into the touch. “They will leave, they will leave when we all planned to leave. I’ll stay…” </p>
<p>“I’ll hate to see them go, you have such a charming family” he dropped her chin, Jane whining quietly at the loss of contact. “Really, I'd hate to force you to never see your home again...maybe we shouldn’t-“</p>
<p>“No! no please, it’s fine” Jane threw up her hands in defense, holding his forearms firmly “That is all nonsense, my kingdom doesn’t hold a candle to yours! I’ll stay forever.”</p>
<p>And that was that, Dirk took her hands and she smiled that cheesy grin at him, still as red as a strawberry. The woman he looked down at was going to be his wife and there was no taking it back. There was, however, still a charade to be put on, and if he did anything wrong Jane could refuse him and go home, he had to be smart about it. Be the same Dirk she loved until he had an heir— if he could last that long. </p>
<p>Jane suddenly snapped to attention, walking away from him and looking over her shoulder to speak. “I have to tell my family right away! and your parents and siblings and-“ </p>
<p>“No!” Dirks tone was harsh, too honest to his true nature, his nostrils flaring as a look of confusion covered his fiancés face “—it’s not that easy for us, I mean—“ </p>
<p>“What do you mean?” Jane frowned</p>
<p>“It’s just, as you know, marriage is really important in my family and-“ </p>
<p>“OH, yes of course!” Jane covered her mouth as if she had told a big secret “How could I forget, marriage is like a whole thing around here” </p>
<p>A whole thing? What a severe understatement. </p>
<p>“Yes uh” Dirk laughed nervously “It is a whole thing. Like a life altering thing, it’s a huge commitment”</p>
<p>“Oh trust me Dirk, I’ve been denied the right to be Queen since I was born, I’m more than excited to be given that responsibility!” Jane's big front teeth poked out front her mouth, Dirk finding her charming in that moment. Regardless of if she was just saying that to soften any doubts she might think he had of her, or if she meant it, Dirk was relieved. </p>
<p>“I know you want to tell your family, and you will, but be patient for me” Dirk watched Jane fix her posture, giving him an affirming nod and kissing his cheek softly. Dirk let her pull her hand away, a smirk sneaking on her face as she slowly turned away and ran to the door, Dirk rounding the corner to look at her. </p>
<p>“I promise I won’t, but I can’t promise they won't notice me glowing with excitement!” She opened the door and waved with her fingers, smiling and ducking into the hallway with a click. </p>
<p>Dirk let his smile drop, rubbing his face and leaning against the bookcase with a sigh. Head in his hands, he tried to clear his mind of every negative emotion he was feeling. He should be excited, no, ecstatic! Dirk was one conversation away from finally getting the thing he had wanted since birth. So why did he feel so empty? So sad? He didn’t ever imagine feeling like this when he had fantasized in his head of this moment. Was it because of Jane? or was it because of what he didn’t have? Sitting down on the floor of the library Dirk stared into the darkness of his eyelids, moving his hands and looking down at the wood floorboards. Would he be happier if he had asked someone else’s hand in marriage? Did he ask the wrong girl too quickly, maybe some other woman out there was better suited for him. Maybe Dirk wasn’t fooling anybody but himself when he said such stupid things, maybe Dirk always knew he’d end up miserable and unhappy because no woman on the face of this earth would make him feel as loved and protected as Jake English did with one kiss. Or feel as complimented as he had when Bros friends would comment on how handsome he had grown. No woman could make him feel small and protected with just one arm around the waist, or a flash of their smile, or the deep roll of their voice. </p>
<p>Maybe he was an idiot for assuming there would be any happiness for him if he married. Dirk always knew he would marry a woman, why was that so hard to accept now? Because it was actually true? Dirk wasn’t like Dave— Careless and Naive. He couldn’t sneak about and kiss a teenage guard under the moonlight. Dirk wasn’t dying, his only company being a handsome and well spoken bedmaid. He wasn’t given the opportunity of death, or lack of responsibility, to save him from the unforgiving clutches of marriage how the church intended it. </p>
<p>How dare he even suggest that rather be the life he lives? Was love ever worth power to him? Why should having to marry Jane ever be seen as a punishment when the reward of doing so was full reign of the kingdom. And what was stopping him from taking more? Taking every inch of Europe for himself? Was running around with maids and kissing men worth losing every inch of power his family possessed? Was his romantic happiness worth his physical comfort? Not as far as Dirk was concerned it wasn’t! Why was he sitting on the floor, wallowing in self pity? He was going to be married for fucks sake, he had won. Even if his parents weren’t aware yet, he had WON. Grow up, Dirk Strider. Since when are you a lovesick teenage boy?</p>
<p>What did it matter anyway? Marriage didn’t need to be about love. He was engaged now, he could have children now, he could carry the family name. Why was love suddenly his biggest concern? Last time he checked killing his sister wasn’t very loving. Not many brothers murder their siblings for valentine’s day. </p>
<p>Pulling himself from the floor he brushed off his behind, dirt accumulated on the unused library floor stuck to his pants indecently. Dirk shook his head and scoffed, embarrassed at himself for even needing to have that pep talk. All of this was Jake’s fault, once he was gone there would be no more distraction. Dirk could focus on what he always had focused on and no one could stop him from working for what he wanted. </p>
<p>Speaking of, it was lunchtime. Dirk left the library quietly and hurried to the kitchen, passing a large window, he looked up at the sky, the sun glaring back to him. It was the early days of August and the days were still long and warm, the sky more orange this time of year however. It was his favorite season and it couldn’t last long enough. </p>
<p>Opening the door to the kitchen he was quickly pushed out, stumbling backwards with an annoyed look on his face. Looking up he saw the familiar face that belonged to Kanaya, in her hands the soup he was coming to pick up. Dirk cocked his head slightly, Kanaya blinking in surprise to see him. Suddenly her look changed to embarrassment, like she had been caught in the middle of something. And she had, she wasn’t supposed to be down here, and she definitely wasn’t supposed to be holding the soup Dirk needed. </p>
<p>“Hello” Dirk said with an accusatory glare, she was making it terribly inconvenient to lace it. </p>
<p>“Oh! Hello Dirk” her smile was forced “You were running late so I thought I’d, uh, meet you upstairs to feed Rose!” </p>
<p>“Is that so?” he chewed on the inside of his cheek, reaching out his hands to take the bowl, Kanaya pressing it closer to her chest. Dirk tensed his hands again, narrowing his eyes at her. “Give it to me.” </p>
<p>“I’m already holding it-“ </p>
<p>“Kanaya, what are you doing?” Dirk tried to sound confused but he was overwhelmed with fear. Had she…figured him out? Had she told anyone of her suspicions, had she told Rose? Was he overthinking it or had she tried to feed Rose before he got to the bowl? Was she quietly testing to see if Rose would exhibit more symptoms even if someone else fed her? Or was she testing to see if Dirk would behave defensively if she implied she had suspicions of him. Was he doing exactly what she was hoping he would? </p>
<p>Dirk lowered his arms and tightened them to his sides. Even if that was her intention, to somehow “reverse” whatever she thought Dirk had done, it was far too late now. He had been dropping Arsenic into Rose's food for weeks and he was surprised she had survived this long already. Feeding her one bowl of normal food wouldn’t do shit to save her. </p>
<p>“I’m just-“ Kanaya started, stepping backwards. </p>
<p>“No- Don’t even bother. I don’t know why I care so much” Dirk waved his arms dismissively “It's not like I want to feed her everyday, I got stuck with this job.” </p>
<p>Kanaya let her shoulders slack and put them bowl back down by her stomach, nodding and bowing her head slightly. She stepped to the side and Dirk let her pass, her steps quickening as she hurried to get away from<br/>
him. He huffed, turning to watch her disappear, rubbing his fingers together at his hips. Why was he so worked up, was everything going to piss him off this badly until he told his parents about the engagement? </p>
<p>Hopefully not, because he still hadn’t decided when that would be. Dirk hated being on this floor of the castle so he didn’t understand why he was still standing there, working his way up to the royal quarters. Jogging to the main room he quickly b-lined up the stairs and to his bedroom. Dirk shut the door and leaned against it, dissociating as he stared into the room. </p>
<p>Had he been so obvious? Did Kanaya really catch on to him? Was he a poor actor in the face of stress? Dirk had so much running around his mind right now and it was giving him a migraine. He needed proof that he wasn’t making the wrong decision, he needed to make up his mind. No matter how many pep talks he kept giving himself he turned right around and second guessed everything. How could he be certain he was making any of the right decisions right now? And was it alright if he said he didn’t care if it was right as long as it was final? Dirk pushed himself from the door and drifted to his desk, pulling out the chair and slumping into it. He rested in his hands, pushing up his bangs and closing his eyes. </p>
<p>And why did John have to show up and mess up everything? Dirk hadn’t seen that man since he was a child, why was he suddenly his biggest threat? And did John even understand how inconvenient he was? </p>
<p>Dirk had everything planned out; Continue to court Jane, keep Roxy busy, and win. Dave being… distracted, and Rose dying were just perks. Now everything was screwed up. Rose started to get better, John was cute, and Dave was...well Dave was still distracted. For once, Dave was the only thing not bothering Dirk. All of this extra work was not estimated and although he hadn’t ever really been one to give up, it was a pain in his ass. </p>
<p>Opening his eyes, Dirk looked down at his desk, covered in papers, spilled ink, and snapped quills. His life was changing so quickly and he had no one to blame but himself. Remembering fond childhood moments would do him no good right now, and reminiscing about the origins of all the oil spills and chips on the wood wouldn’t save him from all the decisions he had committed himself to. </p>
<p>Letting his arms fall against the desk, Dirk laid his head over them, snuggling into the crook of his elbow. His eyes hooded sleepily, and he didn’t know why he was so tired when it was hardly 3. All the stress made him not want to face his reality, his brain begging him to shut off for a little while. </p>
<p>Dirk shut his eyes and let out the breath he was holding, slumping into the comfort of his own warmth. He found himself falling asleep in this chair more than his own bed, although he was very much capable of getting up and moving. Letting all thoughts of Jane, his sister, the soup, and his plans slipping from his brain as he fell into sleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. A Funeral and Reminiscing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The Lalonde family hosts a sudden and unprepared for Funeral, Dirk gets sick, and Kanaya acts strange.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Big TW for repeated mentions of death, grieving, and vomiting.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Roxy woke up to a loud shriek. </p>
<p>Jumping awake, her heart leaped from her chest, reflexively lifting herself up on her elbows. She blinked the tired away, breathing heavily, sitting up fully and leaning forward. Rubbing her eyes, Roxy listened for another scream. She so hoped she hadn’t woken up because maids were being just a little too loud for their own good. </p>
<p>Roxy looked around her room, still dark but not as dark as it would be late into the night, a soft light spread across her room. It was peaceful and it was nice to be awake when her room was so at ease. </p>
<p>She sat quietly until she finally heard crying, loud crying. Roxy threw her blanket from over her legs and stood up, her nightgown swaying against her calves. The cold floor shocked her feet but it wasn’t anything she wasn’t used to, too rushed to slip on her night shoes. Opening her door the wailing flooded into the room, very loud and very near. Roxy couldn’t tell if the crying was coming from down the stairs or down the hallway. She turned in the direction of her sisters room and realization came over her. </p>
<p>No, there was absolutely no way this was happening right now. Turning the corner, Roxy stared into the hallway at a forming group surrounding the open door of Rose’s bedroom. It was obviously very early in the morning, the dark sky starting to turn blue. The crying grew louder and her head started to spin with scenarios- only one of them being reasonable. Walking to the group, they parted for her to enter, none of them looking at her. </p>
<p>Roxy didn’t need to step into the room to understand what was going on. Her mother sat doubled over, sobbing. Her father was quietly talking within Aradia, Roxy unable you focus on the conversation. Her focus, instead, was stuck on the pale arm pulled from under the white sheet covering the body lying in Roses bed. Nothing in Roxy’s mind could connect that the arm belonged to her sister, the hand squeezed in Moms grip. Her shoulders slumped, her mother looking up with a tear soaked face. </p>
<p>A sob left her mouth as they made eye contact, Roxy still frozen with shock. Was she really the first one here? Besides her parents of course. Where were her siblings? Where was Kanaya? How could it be that only a few weeks ago Rose was insisting she felt so much better, how could it be that Rose seemed so certain? Was that really her baby sister lying dead in that bed, and could it really be anyone else? </p>
<p>Roxy felt like she was floating as she walked closer to the bed, reflexively putting a hand on her mother’s back to comfort her. Looking down at the body, covered from head to toe, she could hardly open her mouth to say anything. </p>
<p>“Kanaya found her this morning” Bro said quietly, trying to let Mom mourn in peace “she came and told us only a few minutes ago.” </p>
<p>“How” Roxy started, meaning to say so much more, but her lips just shook. </p>
<p>“She was getting worse, we all knew that-“ </p>
<p>“I didn’t realize it would be so soon” her mom mumbled, her voice hardly understandable through her tears, beginning to weep again. </p>
<p>“Your brothers haven’t woken up yet, we don’t know when to send someone for them.” Bro looked down at the bed and Roxy could almost make out a quiver in his lip, but he was so good at concealing himself. Roxy sunk beside her mother on the floor, laying against her shoulder and rubbing her back as she started to cry herself. </p>
<p>Maybe she had been foolish to trust Rose, who was obviously lying to save Roxy’s feelings. She must’ve known she was dying, trying to give Roxy that hope she insisted she wasn’t. Her cries seemed to make Mom cry harder, the two women mourning their daughter and sister. She wondered about Kanaya, they had always been so close, and Roxy hated to think of how hard she must be taking this. Seeing as she couldn’t even be in the room spoke volumes. </p>
<p>Reaching her hand forward, she gently placed her fingers against the arm of her sister, feeling she was cold to the touch. The feeling shocked her so much she recoiled, curling her fingers and pressing them against her own chest. She had never felt human skin so cold and lifeless and she was surprised her mother could hold Rose's hand, Roxy unable to shake the foreign feeling from her fingertips. </p>
<p>Slowly, the sun began to rise and light flooded into the room and over the bed, and Rose had been lying deceased for too long. It took Bro prying Moms hands apart to make her let go, her mother rubbing her now empty hands together and sobbing, head pressed against Bro as he held her close to him. Roxy was told to follow, looking back at Rose only one more time before the servants would have to take her, her limp hand hanging over the side of the bed. Roxy was frozen until her father called her name, forcing herself to leave the room and leave her sister. </p>
<p>They couldn’t keep Dave and Dirk in the dark forever, Bro breaking the news to them himself, Roxy unable to accompany him seeing as she was helping her mother get around. It all felt so unreal, the castle moving so quickly that Roxy couldn’t even process that Rose wasn’t just asleep upstairs, in the care of Kanaya. </p>
<p>Her mother ran out of tears a while ago, but that didn’t stop her from crying, Roxy merely kept her company alongside the maids in silence. Mom had shrunk into the seat at the foot of her bed, a bedroom Roxy was often not allowed to enter, many servants trying to persuade her into standing so she could change. She didn’t want to move, however, curled into herself and staring at the floor, unable to produce any more noise.</p>
<p>Roxy was taken from her too, after a while, escorted back to her room to get dressed for the ceremony. For the first time in a while, Roxy didn’t want company, but she was forced to be occupied. She hardly had a black thing besides her clothes specifically designed for this event, and it also happened to be the most modest thing she owned. A thick, wool, dress with 3 separate layers of skirt, a collar that hugged her neck, and long sleeves that went to the wrist. The sleeves, right at the shoulders, puffed out like bells, tightening back up at her upper arm, skin tight the rest of the way down. It was beautiful and mature but it carried a dark connotation, one Roxy was still working on wrapping her head around. She didn’t speak a word to the woman tying her shoes, simply staring at her and listening to her instructions; When to be downstairs, what would happen, how it would happen. None of it made sense and she hardly processed a word. She wanted to see her brothers, she wanted to be with her mother again, and most of all she wanted to see her sister. </p>
<p>“They notified your family, your extended family, but there is no guarantee they’ll be able to arrive for the ceremony” the maid spoke quietly, her blonde hair falling in her face as she looked to her feet “the King, John Egbert, has also been informed.” </p>
<p>Oh John, Roxy thought, her face contorting into a frown again. She wondered what he must be thinking of all this. The last thing he needed was another death following him, especially one he’d be obligated to care about regardless of the fact that he had never met Rose. Still, she remembered receiving the letter of the late king James' death, and she knew John would understand her pain. The specific type of pain you feel when you lose a family member. </p>
<p>Roxy looked down at her black boots, eyebrows furrowed, unable to wrap her head around everything. If she sat still, looking forward at her bedroom wall, she could easily pretend she had just woken up. Roxy could imagine she had slept in, waking up much later then she usually did, taking the morning for herself. She could pretend that today was yesterday, when everything was how it had been for months. Sure, Rose was sick with no guarantee of recovery, but at least Roxy would sneak into her room late at night and read her to sleep. Roxy could sew patches in her nightgowns as an excuse to see her, taking extra long on each loop and making Rose laugh. </p>
<p>Everything was normal as her eyes blurred and her room was jumbled up into a mass of color and light, imagining all the shenanigans her and Rose would get up to, even when she was ill. She could pretend that she was with Kanaya, acting out parts of Rose's novels blindly as she read them aloud for the first time, usually resulting in some very passionate cross-play. Roxy was able to smile, sulking slightly as she laughed to herself. </p>
<p>Soon the call came, Roxy sitting alone in her room for longer than she had realized, refocusing her eyes, and standing suddenly as a maid came to her aid. The sun was now over the horizon, and the castle was filled with noise. A princess was dead and everyone was invited, like a birthday party. Walking alongside the maid, Roxy looked out the windows to see a courtyard full of people, gifts and flowers strewn across the grass. Looking down at her hands, she realized she hadn’t put on her gloves, quickly covering the exposed skin. The cold feeling still lingered on her fingers, Roxy trying to warm them up. </p>
<p>She was brought to her siblings, a relief washing over her when she saw their blonde heads from around the corner, speeding up ahead of the maid to meet them. Her brothers turned to look at her, and as she sped towards them, Dirk opened his arms to her. She gladly fell into his embrace, letting out a breath and laughing sadly, his firm hand on her back comforting. Opening her eyes, she met with Dave, who looked like he hadn’t slept in days. No tears, but swollen red eyes and a sadness she rarely saw from him. She extended her arm, Dave accepting and pressing himself into Dirks back, Roxy wrapping her arm around his shoulders and adding him to the hug. They stood like that for a while until they were called apart, Dirk specifically, all the siblings looking to their father. </p>
<p>“How are we all…feeling?” his tone was soft, so unlike him it was almost uncomfortable, the siblings sharing a similar look between themselves. </p>
<p>“Pretty not okay” Roxy spoke for them all, another sad smile pulling softly at her lips. </p>
<p>“That’s alright, I’m glad” Bro reached out a hand and held Dirks shoulder, her brother looking down to the ground in embarrassment. She was assuming this touch meant something, and she was assuming it had something to do with the way Dirk reacted when being told the news. She wondered if he took it hard, especially since he was being scrutinized for Rose’s worsening condition under his care. </p>
<p>Their mother wasn’t far behind him, looking completely different now. Her face had been cleaned up and she was no longer crying, Roxy only now aware of how much black the family was wearing. She had never seen Dave or her mother in this many dark colors, especially at the same time. Dirk had a swayed black vest he liked, and her father was always wearing a dark coat, but her younger brother and mother were never that way. </p>
<p>“The ceremony is to start soon, we should be seated” her mother spoke in her cold and usual distant tone, barely looking at any of them before stepping into the room the funeral would be held in. She seemed to be neglecting her previous feelings, Dirk scowling and shaking his head as she walked away. </p>
<p>“She’s been crying all morning” Roxy defended her, Dirk seeming to not care. </p>
<p>The rest of her family entered the room together, walking quietly down the aisle with no introduction, making their way to the front of the room. The room was packed, besides the perfect amount of seats saved for her siblings. High nobility sat among them, and the maid was right, none of her family could be seen. Roxy was pleased to see a familiar bush of black hair seated in the front row with them, sliding into her seat next to John.</p>
<p>He had followed her with his eyes the entire time she found her seat, a comforting look on his face. Roxy felt so uncomfortable in this climate, but he made it so much better. </p>
<p>“I’m here for you” he said simply and softly, putting his gloved hand over hers, Roxy nodding with a smile. It warmed her heart to know he meant it, and it wasn’t just some regurgitated sympathy you’d expect of an acquaintance; but John wasn’t an acquaintance, he was a friend. </p>
<p>Her siblings sat besides her, Dave and Dirk sitting together being a peculiar choice on her parents behalf. Dave was looking off at the stage, and if Roxy’s eyes weren’t playing tricks on her, she’d say the guard standing at the step was staring back. His helmet made it hard to tell, but Roxy could tell at least that Dave was burning holes into the iron armor. </p>
<p>Turning to look behind her, she didn’t realize how large this room was from the sitting duck perspective. The tall ceilings with high windows opened it up a great deal, and even with this load of people crowded together the room felt so daunting. It was normal for this many people to be in her home, not even half of these people were normal. To be completely honest, the most people she saw were her nuclear family. It was usually a nice change of pace, usually with a big party or celebration, and that just wasn’t the case this time around. No beautiful ball gowns, no extravagant hair or makeup, and no party music. </p>
<p>Another delightful thing about turning around was seeing their other house guests, now staring back at her uncomfortably, seeing as she had been turned around for far too long without greeting them. Roxy locked eyes with Jane, her favorite, and smiled. </p>
<p>“I'm so sorry you had to be here for this” she apologized, instantly getting shut down by Jane. </p>
<p>“No! Don’t even start” Jane frowned “this is your day to focus on yourself, don’t worry about us!” </p>
<p>“Thank you” Roxy looked from Jane, up at her brother, and back down at Jade. The young girl kicked her feet and stared at the ground, obviously bored, and Jake was looking around aimlessly, leaning back in his chair. Jane was always so polite and it was funny to see the stark contrast between the siblings. </p>
<p>“I thought you had planned to leave a few weeks ago?” Roxy asked, genuinely and as kindly as possible. </p>
<p>“We had” Jane started “but we wanted to stay just a little bit longer, by invitation of course, and I’m glad we did. I want to be here for Dirk, and you of course, during all of this-“ </p>
<p>Jane spoke so eloquently, and even if she could be boring, Roxy didn’t understand how Dirk didn’t find her infatuating. Especially since she was so beautiful.</p>
<p>“I’m glad too, It was very kind for my father to invite you to stay further-“ </p>
<p>“Oh no, silly, it was Dirk who invited us” Jane giggled, her bright exterior even in such a time of personal peril for Roxy was so refreshing, but her words were surprising to say the least. </p>
<p>“Really?” Roxy raised her eyebrows, mouth falling open slightly. </p>
<p>“I was confused too, it’s not like he’s really been all that welcoming” Jake budded in, Jane smacking his leg. </p>
<p>“He has been nothing but kind to you, Jake, have a little respect!” She sounded embarrassed, as she always seemed to be with Jake, Roxy catching Dirk cock his head in the corner of her eye. Reaching up to ruffle his hair to try and play it off. It was a little weird that they were talking so openly about him, he was sitting so close, but wasn’t a part of the conversation. She ignored him and focused on Jane and Jake. Roxy smiled, the two siblings banter was exactly what she needed to feel better. </p>
<p>This moment of happiness didn’t last much longer, the heavy doors of the room pulled open, the room falling silent. Roxy turned to face forward, her father and mother standing to go on the steps of the stage. The orchestra started playing a soft and haunting piece, people beginning to walk down the aisle. In a perfect world, Roxy could imagine a wedding. She could pretend the priest was officiating the ceremony, her parents waiting to pass Rose off to the groom, all of the church's men being her siblings and the bridesmaids. She could pretend the music was a wedding march, and the heads turning were to marvel at her beautiful sister. All ideas of competition would leave her mind as she saw Rose in a beautiful gown, wearing sparkling jewelry and holding flowers by her own name. </p>
<p>The fantasy was beautiful, the twinkling sunlight casting colors from the stained glass windows on to the floor would reflect off of her crown, her big blue eyes open and excited, turning her head to look at Roxy with tears. Instead, when Roxy turned her head to where her beautiful sister should be standing, holding a bouquet, a casket lifted off the ground was being carried along the carpet. The dream shattered as the colorful light hit the black of her coffin and absorbed it. The men took careful steps as they hit the stairs, slowly lifting the box up to the stage, setting her down amongst wreaths of flowers. The violins sing such a beautiful song and it reminded Roxy of the days her and Rose would sit together in the fouye, Rose practicing on her own violin, eyes shut, her whole body in the music. That was another thing she could imagine, that this song was one her sister was simply playing for her. </p>
<p>But Roxy had to stop pretending. </p>
<p>Watching the men part from the casket, descending the stairs and dispersing to their respective seats, Roxy followed her father with her eyes. He slowly approached the casket, a sob audibly escaping from his mouth as he looked down at her. Roxy couldn’t see her sister from her seat, but she could see Bro pressing her blonde hair between his fingers, bending down and planting a kiss on her forehead. It was impossible to see her father like this, looking for support in her brother. Dirk looked sick in his face, hands trembling as he faced forward, eyes thinking a million thoughts that Roxy couldn’t ask about right now. She turned inwards again, trying to distract herself from the situation at hand. </p>
<p>Roxy couldn’t pay attention when the priest started talking, tuning him out as she stared at her lap. She felt a pain she had never felt before in her chest, Roxy trying to prevent herself from crying, balling her dress up in her fists. </p>
<p>She only looked up when she heard the word crown, seeing the priest holding her crown in both of his hands, someone else holding up the pillow for him. The beautiful tiara glimmered in his grasp, the holy man spewing something or the other about divine sacrifice and the will of god, both things Roxy had no time to listen to. Looking at the crown she was overwhelmed by what it might symbolize; The final crowning as she entered death, her key into the afterlife as a proof of her status, or more personally, the crown represented the very idea of winning. Or, in Roses case, losing. As Bro took the crown softly from the preacher's hands, walking to Rose's side and setting the heavy metal against her chest. The crown disappeared behind the walls of the casket for Roxy, but as it was set against her chest, her sister's crown had been removed permanently from the crowing room. This symbolized the final step in her death, and in her inability to ever fight fairly for her divine right to the throne. She would only be recognized as a princess in portraits and on her tombstone, and that beautiful tiara would never again catch the light from the sun and cast a beam on the hardwood.</p>
<p>Roxy didn’t understand what suddenly overwhelmed her, lip quivering before breaking out into tears. Putting her head in her hands, Roxy sulked and sobbed. She couldn’t help but feel this way, so absolutely torn over her sister's death. Had she not paid enough attention to her baby sister in her dying days? Had she been giving any option? She hated to cry so loudly, trying to stifle her cries, covering her mouth. </p>
<p>A soft hand pressed into her back, running circles against her shoulder blade, Roxy looking up with tear soaked eyes at John. He had built tears in his own eyes, a sad smile on his face, lip shaking. Roxy leaned into his arm, shaking with her sobs, John rubbing her shoulder and resting his chin on the top of her head. </p>
<p>She needed this, she needed him so badly right now. His embrace felt so safe, and his chest smelled sweetly, and even now she couldn’t help but love him. Regardless if John was destined to be her lover, or if he was her closest friend, this comfort was all she needed from him in just this moment. </p>
<p>The service continued on regardless of Roxy’s tears, the pastor wrapping up his sermon and calling the royal family to the stage. Unfortunately, they went by age, Dirk standing with the most strain Roxy had ever seen himself use. It’s like his legs didn’t work and she was afraid if she reached out to touch him, he would hurl all over the floor. He went up the steps, arms loose at his sides, walking up besides Rose and looking down at her, unmoving. Roxy was able to pull herself away from John, who reassured her with a comfortable shoulder squeeze, the princess now applying her own force to make it up the stairs. The same sickness she saw on Dirk, she felt in herself, and each step felt like she had 50 pound weights strapped to her ankles. The closer she got, the more real and permanent it got, because the last step was looking at her. </p>
<p>Roxy walked besides her brother, who was shaking and pale, not even looking at her as she met his side. She looked behind her, Dave just now leaving his seat, Dirk rubbing his eyes. In Fact she could point out a million other things to buy her time and avoid looking, but her eyes eventually found their way to her face. </p>
<p>If Roxy was a child, she would almost be convinced she was sleeping. Her eyes were softly shut, heavy makeup caked on her cheeks and made her look unnatural, and her hair had been combed quite nicely to frame her face. Everything under her chest was tucked into a lacy blanket, many of her things scattered among the casket besides her. The crown sat comfortably on her sternum, and the strange and unfamiliar lack of breathing made Roxy’s stomach roll. </p>
<p>She looked peaceful, even if she was painfully dead, and for some reason Roxy was no longer crying. She was still so sad, so unbearably heartbroken, but something about this gave her closure. Seeing her resting so softly against the fluffed pillows, her favorite dress folded at her lap, a necklace piled on top. </p>
<p>Dirk was obviously taking it much harder, and Roxy wondered if they had gotten much closer during his time taking care of her. It almost made her feel worse for not reacting the same, but her stomach didn’t feel that way. He looked so ill and a fear bolted through her that he may have caught what Rose had, Roxy reaching out her hand to touch his arm. </p>
<p>“Dirk, are you alright” she whispered, trying not to make a scene. He looked up to her, and his eyes pooled with an emotion she was actually unable to read, never seeing him make a look quite like it. His eyes darted to something behind her, and he quickly excused himself. </p>
<p>Roxy watched him speed down the aisle and out the open doors, a few heads turning to follow, most people giving him privacy. Roxy turned her head back to where his eyes had lost her, Dave standing next to her with his hands cupped at his chest, staring at Dirk as he excused himself. </p>
<p>“What’s the matter with him?” Dave mumbled, standing as far from the casket as possible. </p>
<p>“I think he’s just upset” Roxy nodded, extending her arm to pull Dave closer to her, wanting to give him support so he was able to say his goodbyes. It worked, Dave moving to her side and looking down at their sister. Rose wasn’t his baby sister, but they were closer in age then Dave was to Roxy or Dirk, and they had always had at least that in common. The grief she was feeling must be so different from his. </p>
<p>She stood with him for a while, Dave rubbing her cold cheek, both of them seemingly out of tears. They were forced to leave after a while, and although Roxy preferred to believe it was for their own good, she knew it was because Rose had already been lying for too long and the ride down the mountains would be a warm one. It was gross, to think about death in that way, so she simply didn’t. </p>
<p>Her casket would be closed, and as it latched firmly, that was the last glimpse she would ever see of her sister. It all happened too fast, and Roxy wished she could do it all over again. The large congregation filed from the room, Roxy and her family at the main entrance to the castle as her casket was carried outside, Dirk still absent. Lines of guards stopped the townspeople from getting too close, the princess carried to the open hatch carriage, decorated in flowers and beads. Roxy started to cry again as her carriage disappeared down the side of the mountain, taking her to be buried where the rest of her late family was. She  couldn’t help it, and she knew these were the last tears her body would make for a while. It was dry and hard, but she couldn’t stop herself. </p>
<p>Every person who was able to catch her attention spoke an apology, bowing and taking their leave, townspeople shouting to them from the crowds. Ribbons and letters decorated with cursive and pressed flowers all littered with apologies and condolences. It was overwhelming, and Roxy was starting to think she was the one who died. </p>
<p>Soon, the townspeople were ordered to return home, and maids solemnly picked up all the presents left for her off the courtyard. Roxy was ushered back inside with her brother, and privately the black velvet curtain was dropped over Rose’s portrait, the 4 of them watching quietly. Roxy couldn’t believe the sun was already going down, or that the ceremony was over, and her family departed. They didn't speak, or say goodnight, simply walking away and leaving her to stand by the painting. </p>
<p>“Roxy” , a soft voice, caught her attention.</p>
<p>John walked up to her slowly, keeping a comfortable distance and crossing his hands at his waist, posture straight. He hadn’t been so formal with her since the day he arrived, but she knew it came from a place of respect. His glasses were sliding down his nose, and his eyes looked tired. </p>
<p>“How are you feeling?” </p>
<p>“Better, but still terrible” She admitted </p>
<p>“It’s been a hard day, I don’t blame you.” </p>
<p>“I’m just ready to be alone” Roxy was honest, but she realized how that might’ve come out wrong. John looked to his feet and took a step back. </p>
<p>“I won’t stay long, I want to give you time to-“ </p>
<p>“Please, I can't do anymore apologies today.” </p>
<p>“I understand” John nodded, and Roxy knew he genuinely did “and I know it may seem empty, but please come talk to me if you need anyone. I’ve been through it, and it’s never okay, but it does get easier.” </p>
<p>Roxy smiled as her lip started to quiver, but she refused to cry anymore, nodding and looking down. John bowed his head and left her too, his quiet steps disappearing in the distance. She turned one last time to look up at the now quilted picture, staring deeply into her smiling eyes. </p>
<p>She should find Dirk. Dave was way ahead of her. </p>
<p>Dave had wanted to find Dirk as soon as he could, feeling like what had happened today must’ve been because of him. He couldn’t quite place it, but the look Dirk had given him was worth a thousand words. </p>
<p>He wanted to just apologize for making him uncomfortable, or apologize for whatever he had done. </p>
<p>Just parting from his family, as he walked, Dave undid his vest and let himself breathe. He slid the black garment down his shoulders and folded it over his arm, peeking his head down every hallway to find Dirk. </p>
<p>Dave had looked in his bedroom, the sitting room, the library, asked every maid he had seen if they had seen Dirk, and even searched the servants quarters up and down. He was only able to get a hint when a young maid told him she had seen him rush to the bathroom with another woman only a few minutes ago. Dave thanked her profusely and narrowed down every bathroom in the castle from “least likely” to “most likely” , finally hearing something in the bathroom down the steps from Roxy’s room. </p>
<p>The sounds of vomiting. </p>
<p>Dave creaked open the bathroom door, cringing, and tucked back as far as he could without losing his view of the room. Dirk was bent over on the floor, throwing up into a bucket, Kanaya rubbing his head affectionately. It wasn’t odd to see the both of them together, Kanaya being one of the only maids that Dirk could bear being around. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry” Dirk mumbled over and over, and if Dave wasn’t being generous, it sounded like he was crying. </p>
<p>“Nothing to apologize for, dear, a little emesis never killed anyone” Kanaya spoke with a gentle tone, and her voice was hoarse. She looked messy in general, her eyes puffy and hair disheveled, the top button of her dress undone. She wasn’t putting on the gentle half smile she usually did, her face serious. She still rubbed her skinny fingers through his hair, Dirks shoulders shaking. </p>
<p>“I’m so fucking-HRK” Dirk threw up again, clutching the rim of the bucket, Kanaya pulling her hand away and moving her legs slightly to avoid the splash zone. It was gross, but Dave couldn’t remember the last time he saw Dirk ill. </p>
<p>“Do you think” Dirk started, Kanaya quickly interrupting. </p>
<p>“No, Rose didn’t get ill like this” she began rubbing his head again “and forgive me for implying something hurtful, but I think you just aren’t used to experiencing grief.” </p>
<p>“I’ve never reacted like this to grief” Dirk rubbed the bridge of his nose, pulling his head away from the bucket. “I feel responsible” </p>
<p>“Oh Dirk” Kanaya spoke, her face falling into a frown “This isn’t your fault, there was no way any of us could’ve prevented this.” </p>
<p>Dave heard what she said, but her face gave away a level of insincerity that was almost condescending, and a tension filled the room as Dirk looked to her silently. </p>
<p>“Dave” his name was spoken suddenly, making him jump “must you linger, or do you find it comfortable to enter the room?”</p>
<p>Dave opened the door and stood up straight, Kanaya giving him a welcoming smile. For maybe the first time in his life, Dirk looked happy to see him. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-“ </p>
<p>“Stop” Dirk cut him off, his face getting queasy again. </p>
<p>Dave returned his attention to Kanaya, who was slumped again, still playing with Dirks hair. </p>
<p>“Are you okay?” </p>
<p>“I’m managing” Kanaya shrugged, and her face faltered for a second, and Dave knew she must be in a period of denial. Her face was cold and he had a feeling that bringing attention to it may only make<br/>
things worse for everyone. </p>
<p>She had been crying though, and Dave was sure of it. </p>
<p>The sound of Dirk puking again distracted them both, Dave jumping back reflexively. Dirk let out a cry after that one, one of annoyance and not of sadness. His face was still pale, and his forehead was sweaty, and Dirk never ever let himself appear so vulnerable in front of Dave. This was probably the best time for Dave to apologize, seeing that Dirk was emotionally open. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry If I made you uncomfortable on stage today-“ </p>
<p>“This isn’t about you” Dirk said harshly, face going pale again, gagging, but choking it down. </p>
<p>“Oh” Dave went quiet, shuffling awkwardly on his feet “you just gave me such a dirty look when you left, I thought maybe I had done something?” </p>
<p>Dirk looked thoroughly annoyed, but Dave may have caught him in the perfect moment, because Dirk shook it off. </p>
<p>“It wasn’t directed at you, I was just getting ill and you happened to be the last person I saw. I’m...sorry” </p>
<p>Kanaya shot up and looked at Dave, who was equally as shocked. Sorry? Did Dirk just apologize...to Dave?!</p>
<p>“No it’s...it’s okay? I was mostly worried about you looking sick” Dave reached out a hand to rub his back, but Dirk got sick again and Dave decided to keep his distance “Does death really freak you out this much?” </p>
<p>“That could be it,” Dirk noded, but Dave could tell by his tone that Dirk knew better than that “I’ve never seen a dead body I’ve cared about before.” </p>
<p>“Morbid” Kanaya chimed in, reaching down and wiping his face with a handkerchief. </p>
<p>“Well, the only other funeral Ive attended was my grandmother, and I had never met her before” Dirk shrugged, wiping the sweat from his forehead. </p>
<p>“I wasn’t even born yet” Dave added, also realizing that, unfortunately, the first dead body he had ever seen was his dear sister “you weren’t at the ceremony, were you?” Dave hated to bring up the death again, especially to Kanaya who seemed to be holding her own quite well, her face souring. </p>
<p>“I was, but I had to leave,” Kanaya noded, folding up the soiled towel, obviously trying to avoid the conversation. </p>
<p>“I know she...she meant a lot to you, she was your best friend” Dave glanced down at Dirk, and back at Kanaya who had gotten a little chuckle from what he said. His confusion even made Dirk snicker. </p>
<p>“I knew about her and Rose, idiot” </p>
<p>“Oh!” Dave exclaimed, now able to laugh with them “oh yeah of course you would, i’m stupid.” </p>
<p>“He was one of the first people to find out” Kanaya smiled, looking down fondly “he caught us kissing one night while coming in to see her.” </p>
<p>“I wasn’t alone, so I dropped my bowl to distract the doctor with me” Dirk recounted, having pulled his head away from the bucket. </p>
<p>“I never heard this story!” Dave said, taking fake offense, putting his hands on his hips. </p>
<p>“Rose almost gave us away anyways, she couldn’t stop laughing at him” Kanaya smiled, the group sharing a similar feeling of closure as they spoke about her. </p>
<p>“I need to stop catching people kissing” Dirk gestured to Dave, reaching up to take another sip from the cup of water Kanaya was holding, something Dave had just noticed. Kanaya looked between them in confusion before her face flushed red, covering her mouth. </p>
<p>“Oh of course, that’s why you're speaking so openly, you know about Dave and Karkat?” </p>
<p>“Unfortunately” Dirk teased, Dave kicking him playfully. </p>
<p>“He caught us kissing the night we snuck back in, I was terrified he was gonna tell on me!” Dave retold the story as if Dirk wasn’t there, looking to both of them for reactions. </p>
<p>“I would’ve pissed myself” Kanaya said, her unusual vulgarity making the boys laugh. </p>
<p>“The only sibling that doesn’t know is...Roxy!” Dirk said with a genuine bit of surprise, sitting up straight and regaining color in his face. </p>
<p>“I really do think if you told her she wouldn’t care, she'd always been so loving and accepting” Kanaya insisted. </p>
<p>“I think it’s more fun if we let her catch us at this point” Dave giggled “It’s like family tradition.” </p>
<p>The small crowd continued to chatter aimlessly as Kanaya helped Dirk to his feet, brushing the dirt from his knees. Taking the bucket by its handle, she plugged her nose and lifted it off the floor. Dave waved his hand in front of his face, sticking out his tongue in disgust. Dirk rubbed his face one final time, shaking away whatever sickness he had left, Dave looking up at him happily. It was nice to finally be building a relationship with Dirk after all these years of hatred, and feeling completely neglected and mistreated by him. Dave was hoping he had gotten old enough that the over-the-top brotherly teasing would end and they could finally stand on equal ground. Maybe now that Dirk knew Dave was gay, he didn’t see him as the imaginary threat he had chalked him up to be in that big head of his. Dave was still holding his vest, Dirk unlacing his own as they began to walk together. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry you had to see me sick, I don’t know what came over me” Dirk shook his head, obviously embarrassed. </p>
<p>“It’s okay, you’ve seen me sick a million times” Dave shrugged “we’re even.” </p>
<p>The brothers were stopped again by a familiar and soft voice, turning to see Roxy had finally caught up with them. Dirk took her into another hug, and Dave decided to stay out of. </p>
<p>“There you are!” he said happily, making Roxy smile. </p>
<p>“There I am? I’ve been looking for you both everywhere! Especially you, since you ran off!” Roxy folded her arms, sticking out her lip at him. </p>
<p>“I just didn’t feel good-“ </p>
<p>“You missed a whole vomit party” Dave spoke up, Roxy covering her mouth to laugh, Dirk looking over his shoulder to glare. </p>
<p>“Okay so maybe I got sick, but it’s fine and over with” Dirk reassured her, Roxy snuggling back into his chest before breaking the hug once and for all. </p>
<p>The group of teens walked together, talking about the day and telling even more stories, Dave walking behind his older siblings as they laughed and comforted one another. </p>
<p>Dave wondered what it was like to be Dirks favorite.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. The Conversation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dave gets his final love letter, Dirk goes crazy with jealousy, and Kanaya disobeys orders.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Woah doggy this is a long one! It switches POVs like 4 times so I tried and make it as obvious as possible who’s perspective it was ;) This chapter took so long to write (I started writing it directly after the last one) and I’m super proud of it! This is the scene that inspired the entire story. A lot happens this chapter so I’m hoping I made the right decision not splitting it into a two-parter, let me know what you think! </p><p>That being said (!!!) This chapter contains Homophobia, Outing without consent, threats of violence and murder, and extreme betrayal.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Karkat peeked his head around the corner, looking through his helmet to scan the hallway. A few maids were carrying rugs outside to be shook out, laughing. They were trying to beat the storm rolling in, a soft rumbling had been going through the castle all morning. Two guards stood at the main doors, distracted by the women as they stopped to talk. Karkat straightened his posture, rolling his shoulders back, and walking with purpose to the stairs. Looking to the side, no one even looked up to him as they continued their conversation. </p><p>He put a little pep in his step as he was out of sight, his armor shuffling loudly as he sped down the hallway. Turning into the hallway of Dave’s room, he pulled off his helmet and shook out his hair, wiping the sweat from his face on his forearm. </p><p>“Flower?” he spoke softly, knocking in a specific pattern on the door. He paced eagerly, the door open in seconds. Dave tried to act so cool when he was in front of Karkat, leaning on the door frame and smiling at him. </p><p>“Hey, Kk!” His teeth were so pearly and white it was almost unnatural, those bright blue eyes gleaming up at him. Karkat was taken back by his beauty every time he saw him, no matter how much time they spent apart. The simple act of him speaking made Karkat wobble at the knees. In these moments, no one was more perfect and lovable. </p><p>“I’m sorry I came so early, I wanted to give you my letter as soon as possible” Karkat pulled up his sword, wiggling his fingers into the sheath, pulling out a neatly folded piece of paper. </p><p>The two giggled, constantly finding more and more ways to hide the love letters. </p><p>Dave put his hands out and made grabby fingers, taking it and gently slipping it into the waistband of his pants. Looking back up at Karkat, Dave smiled. Karkats stomach did somersaults, his cheeks hurting from smiling. </p><p>“Don’t apologize, I think they are cute!” Dave teased, reaching a hand up to pinch Karkats cheek like an old lady. Karkat chuckled and Dave spread out his fingers over Karkats cheek, holding it lovingly. </p><p>“I...I’m always thinking about you...like-” Karkat struggled to put his thoughts together, pulling down Dave’s hand and kissing the palm. Dave giggled like a child, pulling his hand away to cover his blushing face. </p><p>“Stop it!” Dave cheesed </p><p>“What have you been doing?” Karkat started, Dave glowing with excitement as he opened his mouth, only to be interrupted. Kanaya rounded the corner and stood up straight, crossing her hands in front of her. </p><p>“I’m sorry to interrupt, boys, but Karkat they need you for an event in the courtyard! The English family is going home-“ Karkat tightened up, pushing his hair back and pushing his helmet over his head, pulling away from Dave. </p><p>“No! Must you go?” Dave begged, reaching out to grab him again, Karkat looking over his shoulder as he walked with Kanaya, only able to stop for a second. </p><p>It was hard to see Kanaya like this, her smile weak and face usually stern. Her eyes bagged and tired, she was so unlike herself. Dave took his eyes away from her,, focusing on Karkat again. </p><p>“I’ll see you soon, I promise we’ll talk soon!” Karkat insisted, letting Kanaya drag him away. Dave waved, running down the hallway to continue their conversation, Kanaya watching “You'll be down for the departure soon anyways!” </p><p>“Yes! I suppose I will!” Dave giggled, Karkat reaching for him dramatically as he was pulled “I’ll meet you tonight, okay?” </p><p>”Okay!” Dave called with a smile, watching Karkat descend the stairs and disappear, lowering his waving hand. Dave frowned, looking down and pulling the letter from his waistband. Unfolding it, he walked back to his room, shutting the door softly with intentions to get dressed once he looked over the paper. </p><p>Dave sat on his bed, pulling up his knees and resting his feet on the frame, getting lost in the letter. Karkat spoke so well, and it was obvious his emotions were better portrayed through writing than speaking. Dave could feel each sentence kissing him on every inch of his face, whispering softly in his ear. He could feel the pressure of Karkats hand on his face, the turl is his sideburn curls around his finger. How could a letter give him such butterflies? His eyes admire every brush stroke of the drawings left in the margins, small and detailed doodles of flowers or the wood pattern on Karkat’s bedpost. Pulling the letter to his nose, he could breath in the remaining smells of Karkats sheets, all of his letters being tucked under his pillow throughout the night. Resting, he hugged the letter to his face, pretending that Karkat was here. </p><p>Why must they be pulled apart at every hour, only being able to spend a moment together, why did fate insist they must be apart. Was cupid testing their love, by driving a wedge between them. Nothing could explain the love that poured from this letter, and Dave knew Karkat was in love, but how was he meant to survive like this? Could he really spend the rest of his life in such a secret? </p><p>A rumble shook the floorboards, the obvious tap of rain on the windows outside his bedroom door, catching his attention for only a second. Dave sighed, slacking his hand and looked back at the letter. </p><p>Dave stood up from the bed, walking to his desk and smoothing out the letter, opening his desk drawer and pulling out the hidden bundle of love letters that had begun to build up over time. It was nearing the end of August now, and the two men had been writing back and forth for months now, sometimes multiple times a week. Dave had quite the collection. </p><p>Some letters were in envelopes, but most of them were simply folded paper. Untying the ribbon that held them together let the stack fall apart, spilling all over the table. This prompted Dave to pick out the oldest letter, the first ever one Karkat wrote to him, and Dave could still feel his clammy hands. He opened it, still written on the few sheets of paper Dave provided Karkat, bringing a smile to his face. This made him want to read the second, and then the third, and before he knew it he had sprawled the letters all over the desk, reading each one with growing redness in the cheeks. </p><p>Some about love, some about sex, and some about the sadness Karkat had been experiencing. Some were full of questions, many Dave couldn’t even remember how he answered, and some about boring castle duties. Newer ones showed remorse for Rose's death, Karkat begging for forgiveness that they couldn’t have such a meaningful conversation in person. </p><p>Dave was only stopped in his reading spree with a sudden knock on his door, a hope filling his chest that it may be Karkat sent to retrieve him. He shuffled all the letters together in a pile, trying to fold them all together and stack them again. </p><p>Another, more harsh, knock made Dave roll his eyes. “Hold on!” he called, unable to tie them together before he heard the aggravated voice of his brother on the other side of the wooden door. Dave sighed, not wasting his time hiding the notes and answering the door. Looking out, he saw the annoyed face of his brother, Dave slouching. </p><p>And Dirk was annoyed. </p><p>The rain was now coming down heavy, a flash of lightning lighting up the hallway, Dirks hair damp. The shoulders of his coat vest were damp too, and his face was still dewey. </p><p>Dirk did not understand how he was related to Dave and Roxy, both so unpunctual. Dirks eyes were instantly drawn to the white mess on Dave’s desk, cocking his head and furrowing his eyebrows. </p><p>“What are you doing?” Dirk asked, Dave looking at him with a smile, turning and going back to his desk. Dirk watched his brother gather up all the papers, turning to look at him as an invitation to enter. </p><p>Him and Dave had grown a comfortable energy recently, something the brothers had never shared before. It was much nicer than the horrible tenseness that usually plagues them. Dave behaved casually, but every glance revealed that he felt like he was walking on eggshells with him. Everyone was walking on eggshells when it came to Dirk, though, so Dave shouldn’t feel so special. </p><p>“I was looking over these letters from Karkat-“ </p><p>“You missed Jake and Jade's departure!” Dirk barked, interrupting whatever Dave had hoped to say. </p><p>“Missed it?!” Dave said in shock, turning sharply. </p><p>“Yes, Missed it, they just left” Dirk pinched the bridge of his nose, Dave looking down at the notes in embarrassment “It was pouring out, Jane is so upset she couldn’t say goodbye properly…” </p><p>“I’m sorry I was distracted“ </p><p>“You’ve got to stop letting that guard distract you, and you need to stop accepting these letters” Dirk spoke responsibly, trying to talk some sense into Dave, giving him a soft smile “a kiss means nothing, Dave, have you really been writing so profusely? Are you an idiot?” </p><p>“I’m not an idiot! I like the letters” Dave grumbled, fingering through them to find the special ones. </p><p>“Like them? Have you been answering?”</p><p>“Answering? I started them!” Dave scoffed, laughing “Dirk stop being silly-“ </p><p>“Why would you ever start writing to...him?” Dirk scrunched up his face in confusion, in disgust, and Dave’s face went sour. </p><p>“I love him!” Dave defended himself, a sudden harshness coming from him that Dirk was not used to. Dirk narrowed his eyes, putting his hands on his thighs. </p><p>“You love him?” Dirk asked suspiciously, shoulders tensing uncomfortably. </p><p>“It wasn’t just A Kiss, it was multiple very nice kisses” Dave pushed him playfully, Dirk narrowing his eyes. </p><p>“Dave, you Love him?” </p><p>“Yes, I can't put into words how much I love him” Dave insisted, looking to Dirk like he was finally given a window to vent, a delighted grin on his face. Dave turned to his desk and picked up a few letters, handing them to Dirk and holding a few for himself, pointing at the sentences and words. </p><p>“And he loves me too, sometimes I think he loves me more! If that’s even possible?” Dirk looked at the letters, skimming through the paragraphs and doodles, a familiar pool of jealousy building in his stomach, pulling the letters away from his face and scoffing. </p><p>“You must be joking!” Dirk swore </p><p>“Don’t be so stupid, just listen-“ Dave shook his head, gesturing to the notes in his hands, and the dozens covering his desk. He must have at least a hundred, Dirk thought, relooking over every sincere and heartfelt handwritten sentence made him more confused: Not with the content, but with the rage filling up his body like a boiling kettle, feeling like he’d whistle at any second. He couldn’t grasp how serious this was, and how obviously it had flown over his head. </p><p>Why did the man he kissed tear his heart into pieces, riding away only seconds ago in a carriage probably to never be seen again, but Dave kisses a castle guard and he gets novels written to him. What part of this was fair? When did Dave ever get treated fairly? Why had Dirk been so willing to get over his grudge against Dave, why did he let himself soften for this pampered poodle of a prince?! </p><p>A crack of lightning was followed instantly by another floorboard rearranging thunder boom. </p><p>“I can’t believe this,” Dirk mumbled “I don’t understand-“ </p><p>“We were only talking about this weeks ago! In the bathroom, you even told Kanaya how you caught me! What is the matter?” Dave asked, a familiar tenseness building between them, Dave suddenly swiping for the letter but Dirk holding it above his head, gripping it as tightly as possible. </p><p>“I thought that was about you liking men! I didn’t know your one relationship was so goddamn serious” Dirk looked up to read the letter out of Dave’s reach. </p><p>“Of course it’s serious! I’ve never felt like this before. The way he holds me, and kisses me, no one has ever loved me this much, Dirk!” Dave smiled, obviously trying to defuse a situation he very much didn’t understand. </p><p>“Dave, you don’t know what love is” Dirk glared </p><p>“You don’t understand anything about this, obviously, just let me explain...” Dave trailed, pulling out his own letters for reference, trying to stay steady on the common ground that was crumbling beneath the both of them. </p><p>“You spoke about sex in these, have you-“ Dirk said with a sudden realization, looking down at Dave with wide eyes. An embarrassment shocked Dave, his face going red and pale all at the same time, stuttering to answer. “You did, didn’t you?! You had sex??!!” </p><p>“I love him!” Dave protested, more desperately trying to retrieve the letter, Dirk dodging and pulling away from Dave, walking backwards and closer to the door. </p><p>“Do you understand how serious that is?” </p><p>“Why do you care so much? Give me my letters!” </p><p>“You’re confused-“ </p><p>“I am not confused, Dirk! I’d do anything for him! I’d give anything to him! I’m so happy to just be with him- Why can’t you understand?” </p><p>Dirk trembled with something beyond rage, his jealousy forming into something new. How could this possibly be the case? Why, of all the people, did Dave deserve this? Deserve everything. Why couldn’t Dirk have one thing? One thing to make his life happy. Why in this cruel world did Dave still manage to find happiness in a relationship that could get him killed. What made him so deserving of everyone’s love, what did Dave have that Dirk had always been lacking? </p><p>“You’re confused, Dave” Dirk insisted again, shaking the paper in his hands “this is a fantasy, this can’t be.” </p><p>“Can’t you be happy for me? For once?!” Dave shouted, putting a hand on Dirk’s chest and jumping for the paper, Dirk putting it behind his back, doing circles as Dave grabbed at every chance for the paper. </p><p>“Happy for you?!” Dirk rolled his eyes, his face full of scorn, lifting the paper back above his head, and back to his lap as Dave jumped and tried to take it from him. “What do you think will come of this?” </p><p>“I want to spend the rest of my life with him!” Dave admitted, a whine building in his throat that usually suggested he was starting to cry “I thought you were over this, I thought we were finally getting along!” </p><p>“This is your fault!” Dirk laughed angrily, clenching the letter in his fist, Dave tugging on his arm to reach for the paper better. “You always do this, you always remind me how unlovable I am!” </p><p>“What are you talking about?!” Dave cried </p><p>“Stop playing stupid!” Dirk screamed, no longer regarding the idea of drawing attention to them. </p><p>“Why is my being happy means you must be miserable! I’ve done nothing wrong!” Dave demanded an answer, eyes filling with tears and nose turning red with pressure, Dirk shaking his head bitterly, pushing his tongue against the inside of his cheek, creating a bump on the outside of his mouth. </p><p>“Are you really blind to how you get treated? How you get babied by everyone around you, like you are made of china? You’ve always been everyone’s favorite, mother has always fawned over you like a baby animal, she’s never ever loved me the same! She hates me because of you!” </p><p>“Is this what this is all about?! Why can’t you grow up!” Dave shouted, an anger so unfamiliar and unexplored it filled Dirk with adrenaline, waiting for this day his entire life. “What does any of this have to do with me and Karkat's relationship? He isn’t apart of this”</p><p>“You don’t deserve Mom and Karkat, you don’t deserve all the happiness while I’m forced into a loveless marriage, you don’t deserve anything at all!” </p><p>“You put yourself in that situation, Dirk.” The harsh reality of the statement was like spit on his face, Dirk so overcome by anger that he couldn’t process or face it, breathing so heavily now an onlooker might assume he’d been running. </p><p>They stood and stared at each other, a tear rolling down Dave’s face as he stared up in anger, the only sounds in the room being the brothers labored breathing. Dirk shook his head, looking at the letter in his hand with a sudden glint in his eyes. </p><p>“I’m not doing this today, Dirk, I don’t have any more energy for this bullshit rivalry you’ve made up in your head-“ Dave set down his papers, trying to fold them all back into a pile. </p><p>“Mom won’t love you once she knows your true nature…” Dirk spoke, holding up the letter, all the color draining from Dave’s face. His anger fell and his eyes widened, glancing to the paper and locking back with Dirks. </p><p>He had been thinking about how he would even go about getting rid of Dave, but the opportunity had been placed directly into his hand. </p><p>“That isn’t funny” he choked, his anxiety obvious. </p><p>“I’m not joking” Dirk hissed, clenching the letter harder, if that was even possible, stepping backwards towards the door and reaching for the handle. </p><p>“This isn’t a game, Dirk, you can’t show anyone these letters, I've confided in you!” Dave started to back track, desperation unlike before burdening his pale and scared face, putting out his trembling hands to Dirk to simply be handed the letter. Dirk knew that Dave was afraid because he knew that Dirk wasn’t all talk, the second the door opened and Dirk started running, it would be life or death to get the letter before their mother did. Dirk didn’t know what was blinding him, or why he couldn’t think rationally, because the power complex he was feeding into was enough to almost make him hard, Dave begging with only his eyes. </p><p>“I won’t fall for your tenderness anymore, Dave” Dirks voice wavered, but not in fear, a dread covering Dave’s face “I won’t play the games you’ve been winning your entire life, you may have fooled our Mother but you’ve never fooled me.”  </p><p>“Dirk” Dave croaked, still like a hunted rabbit “Please!” </p><p>Dirk didn't think, staring into those pleading eyes without an ounce of sympathy, turning the doorknob and darting from the room as fast as his feet would take him. He had killed his sister to eliminate an opponent, and he would kill his brother for revenge. Revenge for the years of verbal abuse he had felt at the hands of his mother, all because of Dave being her favorite, untouchable, son. If Dave hadn’t been born, then Dirk would’ve been her favorite. Dirk would be cloaked in her love and admiration, and Dave wouldn’t have leached it all from her. </p><p>The rain had turned the summer morning dark, the candles making most of the light in the hallway, another crack of lightning striking the sky. </p><p>Dave was desperately trying to keep up, the loud and hard running shaking the castle floors and windows, both boys already exhausted from arguing. However, both were also pumped full of adrenaline, for their own reasons, and Dirk was keeping a steady speed. </p><p>“Please!” Dave called to him, Dirk skipping steps as they got to the stairs to avoid from stumbling, grabbing the railing to spin and boost him “For god's sake, Don’t torture me like this!” </p><p>His voice was full of fear, a primal and natural fear, a sob in the back of his throat. Dirk shook away all, if any, of the love he had for his younger sibling. Dave had made this way too easy, Dirk dealing with his tears all throughout the better part of his childhood. Pretending this love letter was a toy, and they were once again children, made Dirk able to choke down any remorse he had for his actions. He was moving too quickly to have remorse, anyways. </p><p>The rain pounded against the windows, the worst part of the storm nearly to them. </p><p>“I hate you!” Dave cried, catching up a significant amount, hardly understandable through his tears. “I hate you, I hate you Dirk! Give it back!” </p><p>Dirk didn’t waste his time arguing, looking for the room he knew his mother would be in. The sitting room, the place she had chosen to knit in recently, Roxy accompanying her after the ceremony. Roxy had told Dirk to stop by when he was done chewing out Dave, smacking his shoulder playfully. Dirk didn’t have time to remember now, turning sharply and almost knocking himself over, the door in view. </p><p>“Stop! Please! You don’t know what you're doing! ” Dave begged again, tailing Dirk helplessly. His words were empty, and flew right over Dirk's head. He heard a sudden shout, and a tumble, Dave crashing to the floor. HA! Perfect! Dirk met the door, pulling it open with a strong pull, the heavy door so miserable to open. Squeezing his eyes, Dirk tried to form some tears to begin the theatrics. </p><p>“Mom!” he cried, busting into the room. Mom and Roxy looked to him, his mother sitting with her needles and yarn, confused and already annoyed with his yelling. Roxy smiled, sitting up straight to greet him. Dirk rushed to his mother's side, looking down at her, the trembling in his hands playing well into the character. His mother was still wearing her grieving clothes, a black chemise over her shoulders as was customary. Her face was suddenly concerned as she saw his urgency, putting down her tools. </p><p>“What’s the matter?” she tilted her head, her voice still having traces of accusation in it.</p><p>“This” Dirk stuttered “I found...this...in Dave’s room.” He feigned disgust, handing her the now crumpled piece of paper. She cocked an eyebrow, taking it and smoothing it out, Roxy standing to join them. As she took it, that looming feeling of permanence sat on his shoulders, the same way he felt as Rose took the first bowl of soup from him. It wasn’t set in stone yet, he could rip the letter away, but unlike Rose, Dirk didn’t have any doubts that this was exactly what he wanted. </p><p>His mother mumbled the first few words, her mouth closing and face growing more upsetting as she continued. Hands tensing and jaw clenching audibly, her pupils so tiny it seemed inhumane. She stood, her knitting things rolling off her lap and hitting the floor with a clank. </p><p>She drug her feet and her breathing got heavy, blinking as if she did long enough, the paper would disappear from her hands. Mom turned to look at Dirk, who still had the same, fake, look of remorse on his face. Roxy had a hand to her chin, trying to figure out what was happening. </p><p>“Is this a joke?” His mom spoke, barley above a whisper. </p><p>“I don’t think so” Dirk shrugged, Mom looking down at the letter again to reread it. Roxy joined her side, looking over her shoulder and reading for herself. Roxy gasped, looking to Dirk and backing away. </p><p>She looked between Mom and Dirk, her hair getting so long and pretty, Dirk noticed, the curls almost to her shoulders. He had to stop himself from smiling fondly at her, reminding himself of the situation. </p><p>Dave finally opened the door, running in and freezing as everyone stared at him. You could almost hear his stomach drop, his hands clenching up as he looked over the room, Mom gripping the letter in her hands. The letter was unexplainable, which is why Dirk was so glad to get such a juicy one in Dave’s hand out. It detailed about how gorgeous and passionate Dave was during sex, and how he missed him so much. It spoke about running away together, kissing, and used so many unmistakable pronouns that proved that Dave was speaking to a man. These weren’t raunchy and somewhat inappropriate letters from a young woman, these were a man's letters to her precious son. It was almost too perfect to make up. </p><p>“Mom…” he whispered, hardly audible. </p><p>“What is this, David?” Their mother spoke, so calmly that Roxy and Dirk shook with fear. </p><p>“Mama, please let me-“ </p><p>“Dave, this is disgusting” she raised her voice slightly, still steady and comprehensive. She shook the letter, Dave flinching regardless of how far he stood from her. </p><p>“Mama” he choked again, his throat clogged up and his eyes so wet that Dirk was surprised he could see, tears starting to stream down his face as he trembled. </p><p>Dirk started to have a lot of empty thinking space to regret this decision, trying to divide all his attention to the moment. Roxy covered her mouth as realization sunk in. Mom stepped towards Dave, hands shaking so terribly you’d think she was faking, cupping his face as everyone in the room held their breath.</p><p>A sharp smack knocked them all out of it, Dave stumbling so hard he had to catch himself on the sofa, bringing a hand to his own cheek and beginning to sob. This is where the screaming began, Roxy clinging to Dirk, Dirk holding her head and rubbing her scalp. </p><p>This room had nothing above it, and the pounding rain on the roof and the windows was almost louder than the arguing, thunder rolling every few minutes. </p><p>“Do you understand what you’ve done?! You stupid, good for nothing, horrible child!” she screamed so loudly, Dirk was sure the whole castle could hear them. </p><p>Dave faced the sofa, unable to calm his crying. He looked like he was in another place. </p><p>“You made love … to a MAN?” her screaming was horrible, and even Dirk didn’t recognize this true form of anger coming from his mother. “What’s possessed you? Do you understand the punishment you have to face?!” Her screaming became more full of fear, as if she was too just now realizing the weight of his actions. “Why did you do this? Who are these from?” </p><p>Dave did not respond, still holding his cheek and crying. Mom screamed, grabbing his wrist suddenly and pulling him close to her, shaking him. </p><p>“Let go of me!” Dave cried, ripping his arm away and glaring at her, looking to Dirk and Roxy with equal looks of hatred. </p><p>“Answer me when I speak to you!”</p><p>“No! You’ll never know who wrote them!” Dave promised, breathing sharply between every word, trying to calm down his own panic attack. </p><p>“How dare you speak to your mother like that? Do you understa-“ </p><p>“Don’t talk to me like that!” Dave screamed, grabbing the sides of his hair and breathing rapidly, trying to keep himself on his feet. “You love me! Why don’t you love me now? I haven’t changed!” </p><p>The very idea of that being true made Mom enraged, if it was even possible for her to become so. Her face was fearful, and her clawed hands still trembled. </p><p>“You have disgraced this family, you are ruined-” </p><p>“I am not! I love him”” Dave interrupted, Mom so shocked she reached to smack him again, Dave dodging and swatting her hand away, giving up completely on calming her down “I love him so much, i’ve never loved anyone before! I’ll love him forever and you won’t be able to do anything to stop me!” </p><p>“He must be in this castle, and I will find him” Mom spit, grabbing Dave’s arm and pulling his face to hers, Dave fighting her every second of the way. “And if I don’t, your father sure will—“ A fear overcame her, her eyes wide like a ghost “Oh god, how will we tell your father...” </p><p>“What is it to me? I'll be dead anyways!” Dave sobbed “You are gonna let them kill me! You are gonna watch them kill me all because you are hateful, and ignorant, and ugly!” Dave defended himself in a way never before necessary, Mom gasping in disbelief. </p><p>“Dave” Roxy said suddenly, pulling from Dirk “please, calm down, come here and let me hold you!” </p><p>“DON'T TOUCH ME!” He cried, pulling himself away from Mom and distancing himself from the both of<br/>
them. Dave turned to look at Dirk, shaking his head with a trembling lip. </p><p>“Why did you tell them? Why did you do this? Don’t you understand what you’ve done to me!” Dave bawled, covering his mouth to try and stifle the noise. Dirk put his hands up defensively, Roxy looking between them with sad eyes. </p><p>“Don’t pull him into this!” Mom defended, Dave’s face filling with doubt. Dirks too, looking at the back of his mom's head like she had never treated him in such a way before. </p><p>Roxy stepped closer and Dave became noticeably overwhelmed, his breathing becoming shaky as he stumbled with lightheadedness. </p><p>“Get away from me!” Dave begged, clenching the sides of his head and stepping backwards further, his face bright red and hot. </p><p>“You’ve stooped so low, you’ve disgraced yourself, you’ve disgraced this family for a man! For a servant, for the help! He’s a poor, scoundrel, dirty monster for ruining you in such a way!” Mom switched up the blame, still shaking her finger at Dave, the note clenched in her fist. Dave looked up suddenly, a terrified look on his face. </p><p>“He’s better than you in every way! He’s better than all of you!” Dave scanned the small group, so overcome with emotions he clearly wasn’t thinking as he spoke. Roxy looked shocked to be included, still trying to reach out for him. </p><p>“How dare you do this to your poor mother? Do you understand all I’ve lost?!” Mom screamed, so real and genuine it shook even Dirk “First, my sweet daughter, and now you’ve given into temptation! You’ve ruined this family! And now, he’ll take you too!” </p><p>“Then so be it! I’d rather be dead!” Dave crew, speaking through clenched teeth as he looked up from his hunched position. Mom gave another look of disbelief, shaking her head in horror. </p><p>“You are not my son.” </p><p>Dave let out a sob, another gut wrenching one, mouth open but no words coming out, looking to the floor. Mom opened the letter again to read it, starting to scowl again as she looked down at Dave, glancing between the paper and her son. </p><p>“You-“ </p><p>“Who are you to tell me what to do? How dare you treat me like this! You are supposed to love me!” Dave suddenly blurted, his condition getting worse. </p><p>“I DO love y-“ </p><p>“NO, YOU DON’T!” Dave laughed, dumbfounded, shaking his head “If you truly loved me, you'd accept me, regardless of any of this!” </p><p>“This is Wro-“ </p><p>“Shut up!” Dave cried “Why are you doing this to m- GO AWAY ROXY! Go away!” He gestured at her, Roxy crying and running to Dirk, his arms open for her again. </p><p>“You are not the boy I raised, this hateful monster isn’t not my Dave!” </p><p>“Is that what’ll help you sleep when my head is rolling across my bedroom floor!” Dave cried, pointing out the door, Mom clenching her teeth. “In fact, think all about how I’m your baby boy when they burn every portrait of me in the castle! When they stuff my mouth with a fucking APPLE!!!” </p><p>“How dare you?!” Mom questioned </p><p>“How- How dare I?! You blind...horrible...fuck…” Dave huffed, stumbling and unable to steady his breathing, his heaving making him inaudible. </p><p>“David-“ </p><p>Dave’s eyes rolled back, and he hit the floor. His head clipped the back of the sofa, his body falling face first on the hardwood. Mom shouted, falling to her knees and crawling to him. She pulled him into her arms, rubbing his cheek with trembling hands. </p><p>Dirk shook with fear, unable to process what had happened to them just now. Roxy looked between Mom and Dirk with concern, unsure of what to do. </p><p>“We” Mom choked “We have to tell your father…” </p><p>“But he’ll” Roxy tried to chime in, Mom interrupting her with a sob. </p><p>“None of that now, I’ll talk to him, I’ll make this right” Mom insisted, rocking Dave and shushing him through her own tears, wiping his closed eyes. “I’ll make this right, my baby, shhh…” </p><p>Dirk slowly approached her, reaching out to touch her but she pulled herself away, making him flinch. Dirks lip trembled but he spoke without stuttering.</p><p>“We should carry him upstairs, to his room” Dirk suggested, the very idea making Mom shake, pulling him closer to her. He was so limp he looked dead, and Dirk was sure he knew what dead was now. Even if Dave was breathing, Dirk had killed him in a way that didn’t require poison, a sword, or a high window. </p><p>Roxy knelt down, rubbing her mom's shoulder, Dirk was able to take Dave. He was so much heavier right now, Dirk grunting as he picked him up bridal style, the weight not so uncomfortable once he was standing. Mom stood to be at his side instantly, Roxy standing too. Dirk turned to Roxy, straightfaced. </p><p>“It won’t be long until Dad is back from escorting the English family to the city border, and we can’t hide this from him” Roxy nodded, wiping her eyes “We need to make sure absolutely no servants, guards, or stable-hands leave this castle before the news spreads.” </p><p>“Regardless of gender” Mom spoke up “We will find whoever wrote him these sick letters, and we will do it without mercy.” </p><p>“I’ll order the castle to be locked up, and only Father may enter from the outside…” Roxy said hesitantly, looking down at Dave sadly as she opened the door for her family. “Are you sure…” </p><p>“Don’t speak of it” Mom spit, Roxy looking down in embarrassment, eyes swelling with tears as she ran ahead of them. </p><p>Dirk walked Dave up the stairs, entering the room just as Roxy had left, everyone moving anxiously and painfully avoiding him. Regardless of how much she told them, seeing them as her friends, she had said it with enough power to kick them into gear. Dirk struggled to carry Dave up the stairs, scared to tumble backwards, Mom barley an inch away from him. They got to the door, Mom opening it for Dirk, the couple placing Dave on his bed. He stirred slightly, but did not wake. Dirk pulled the blanket over Dave, resting his head under and pillow and smoothing out his hair. Looking up, he saw Mom at the desk, the papers still strewn out. She had picked up another, slender hand covering her mouth. Dirk stood by her side, starting to stack them together. </p><p>“What are you doing?” she said quietly, obviously in shock. Her hands are still managing to shake. </p><p>“You should read them all, I did.” </p><p>The two left the room, Mom holding the thick bundle of notes but unable to look at it, Dirk watching Nepeta fiddle with a ring of keys, locking the door. She held it close to her chest, bowing her head and running away, Mom too distracted to say anything. The heavy locking sound solidified something, that the next time it would be opened, Dave would have steel through his neck. </p><p>But Bro was taking quite some time. </p><p>And Kanaya took notice of this, shaking her restless foot, arms crossed as she sat in the crowded room. Every female servant had been crowded into one place, all the girls gossiping with each other about what could possibly be happening. It was strange, but overall annoying. They knew the King returning home had something to do with it, and Nepeta had already told them all about locking Dave in his room, and the more Kanaya sat on it the more anxious she became. </p><p>There was no way that was happening, not today. </p><p>The room was so crowded that it was getting hot, Kanaya barely a foot anyway from any person in the room, the conversations loud and it was hard not to tap into a few of them, but none were of substance. She was tall, even while sitting, and it was easy to look over the sea of heads. She sat on a stool, and most women stood, but still she was tall enough to do so. </p><p>Aradia walked to her side, tucking a piece of her unruly hair away, smiling at Kanaya. “What do you think is going on?” Her lips were painted with lipstick she stole, her big eyes so charming. </p><p>“I think it has something to do with the King?” </p><p>“Well no shit!” Aradia put her hands on her hips, leaning forward with a coy smile. “I think you know more than you are letting on!” </p><p>“She always is!” Nepeta cooed, leaning into the conversation from in front of them, extra short next to the grown women. The thunder of the storm could be felt even in these basement rooms. </p><p>“Trust me, if I knew why this was happening I’d have already told everyone, I’ve worked here all my life and this had never happened” Kanaya shrugged, having no energy to humor them.</p><p>She hadn’t been able to grasp much since Rose died, everyday flying by like a vomit of colors and sounds, routinely doing her chores and hardly talking to her friends unless they strike up every conversation. The most consistent thing in her life had always been Rose, and even thinking about losing that made her feel hollow. She had been forcing it down like bile since it happened, and hadn’t given it the healthy thought it deserved. She hardly mourned. </p><p>“I think you're lying, Ms Maryam” Aradia teased, looking to Nepeta for agreement, which she got. </p><p>“Before me and Equius parted, he said the kingdom was under attack!” Nepeta exaggerated, pretending to sword fight. Aradia laughed, clapping with delight. </p><p>“I don’t think so,” Kanaya said flatly, both girls looking at her with concerned frowns.  </p><p>A key suddenly slid into the lock of the heavy door, loud and obvious, making the room go quiet. The door pushed open and there Roxy was, accompanied by a guard, her face unusually serious. It was odd to see such a pleasant person in their lives be so cold. </p><p>“Kanaya” she spoke, Kanaya standing and raising her hand to be counted present “Come with me”</p><p>She obeyed, stepping between the girls on the floor, the small heel of her shoe clicking on the concrete. Kanaya looked back at Aradia, who had an even rarer look of fear on her face, having stolen the stool Kanaya was sitting on and kicking her legs. </p><p>The two women left the room, Kanaya watching silently as Roxy relocked the door. The blonde princess sighed, pushing her forehead against the door as she did some rehearsed breathing exercises, looking up at Kanaya with sadness.</p><p>“Oh, Kanaya” Roxy groaned “Why can’t we get a break?” </p><p>“What is all of this about?” Kanaya asked, unafraid to be straightforward. She knew every guard in this castle, and Roxy wasn’t someone she had to be on her toes with. Kanaya looked between the two guards with them, Cronus and Gamzee, the captain and co-captain of the royal guards. She didn’t know how though, they were not the best team. She hoped to have at least something to bring back to the women in that room, gossip to liven up their temporary imprisonment. </p><p>“It seems too far fetched to be true” Roxy forewarned, but Kanaya already knew what it must be with only those 8 words, her stomach pooling “but Dave...he’s been…” </p><p>“I know...” Kanaya said softly, and both women shared a look of understanding. In fact, every person in this circle did. Every guard and maid had been rooting silently for them, teasing and laughing about the couple in private, all in good nature. Even if Roxy didn’t truly know, it was obvious she always had a hunch. Dave wasn’t very good at masking, and it was only a matter of time until he slipped up and left a letter out for his mother to find. Poor kid. </p><p>“Well, I didn’t call you out just to gossip unfortunately” Roxy forced a smile “Dave is awake, and we need someone who isn’t...us to feed him.” </p><p>Kanaya imagined the whole situation had been quite the event, every person in the royal family present. Roxy seemed lost, and not in the wishful way she usually was, but almost in a way of remorse. Dave was dramatic, and every person in his family must’ve been blamed in one way or another. Kanaya couldn’t be sure, but she could find out. </p><p>“Of course…” Kanaya nodded, looking to Roxy with a serious expression “How long until…” </p><p>“We aren’t sure” Roxy shook her head, unable to keep<br/>
eye contact “but we’re hoping he takes his time.” </p><p>Kanaya was escorted to the kitchen, every cook also in attendance, most sitting on the counters and rearranging spices to kill time, receiving his meal. It wasn’t prisoners' food, it was a plate he would receive if he were sitting at the table, and Kanaya was glad. If he could even stomach food, he should feel as if nothing is out of the ordinary. </p><p>Walking to the main hallway, the feeling of anticipation was on every face visible, making the room heavy. Only two guards were allowed at the door, a servant sat at the bottom of the railing, presumably to make sure no one went up or down that shouldn't. Kanaya knew this man as Equius, a good friend of Nepetas, and he looked nervous. </p><p>“Evening” Kanaya lifted her chin to him, Equius nodding but not losing his seriousness. He was sweating profusely, and no one else seemed as nervous as he was. </p><p>Up the stairs, it was something she hadn’t done in weeks, each step making her feel a little sick. It was hard to walk right past Rose's room, at least the empty room had a closed door, Kanaya not thinking about it for long. She turned and the two guards she was with stopped, looking at her uncomfortably. </p><p>“Where is he?” She whispered, the men looking between themselves. </p><p>“He’s in the throne room-“  Gamzee started, Cronus budding in “that’s uhh where all the guards are.” </p><p>She put out her hand, Gamzee hustling to pull his keys from his waist, giving them to her. Kanaya wrapped her skinny fingers around the ring, pinching the top of the one she knew belonged to his room. She was followed to the room by the men, although they were not permitted to enter, moving the meal to one hand to unlock the door. The door wavered open, and Kanaya pushed the door and stepped inside, leaving the guards in the hallway. </p><p>The crying was the first thing she noticed upon entering, muffled and quiet. Dave was sitting at his desk, the cushioned chair facing the door, his knees pulled tightly to his chest. </p><p>“Dave” Kanaya said quietly, his head shooting upwards as he flinched “I’ve brought you supper.” </p><p>“Kanaya” he mumbled, his face so red with tears he looked like a toddler. She had never felt so much pity for anything in her life. He looked so helpless, his bed in disarray. </p><p>She sat the plate down on his desk, reaching to rub his head. He rejected this, gently throwing up his hands to block her. Kanaya respectfully took the hint, putting her hands back at her lap. </p><p>“Have they found him?” Dave whimpered </p><p>“No, not yet” Kanaya spoke softly</p><p>“Oh thank god” Dave sobbed, hiding his face again, chest heaving violently. </p><p>Kanaya pushed the plate closer to him, but even baked potatoes and chicken legs couldn’t make anything about this situation alright. He didn’t even seem hungry, glancing at the food and shaking his head, turning his body away from the desk. </p><p>“This can’t be happening” he spoke into his knees, sucking a sharp breath in through his teeth “I was just talking to him a few hours ago! What if that...if that was the last time!” </p><p>Kanaya frowned, shaking her head to discourage another panic attack, his breathing becoming less steady with every heave. </p><p>“What happened?” she asked, trying to get the real story. Even if Dave was dramatic at times, he was gonna be the one with the right story. </p><p>“Dirk” Dave didn’t skip a beat, the name falling out of his mouth with scorn “I told him about the letters, I let him read them, I thought I could trust him…”</p><p>Kanaya became stiff, eyes widening and eyebrows furrowing, her straight face wavering. </p><p>“He stole my letters, even after I pleaded with him not to, and he let my mother read them. He took my letter about that night, the night he took me away, they stole every other letter too-“ Dave stopped, turning and opening every drawer in his dresser, proving to Kanaya that only his quills were left behind. </p><p>“Why would he-“ </p><p>“Dirk has always been mean, but this, this is evil” Dave interrupted, looking up to Kanaya with tearful eyes “he wants me dead, he did this to kill me…” </p><p>Kanaya reached out a hand but didn’t touch him, pulling it back, opening her mouth to speak but was for some reason at a loss for words. Why did this seem so familiar, why did her stomach fill with butterflies when Dirk was mentioned. Not butterflies: Hornets. Thousands of angry hornets flying into the walls of her stomach and trying to break free. </p><p>“I’ve had almost 3 hours to think on it, and this isn’t about some stupid rivalry, he did this to have me killed! He’s evil, Kanaya! I never knew it but he’s evil” Dave started to cry again, obviously working himself up again. He couldn’t stay angry for long, and even when he spoke angrily, he was full of fear. Every word was coded in anxiety, and every unusual roll of thunder and creaking floorboard made him flinch. He was like a prisoner awaiting his executioner, and Kanaya was the servant providing him his last meal. Her eyes darted over to the plate, teeth clenching together. </p><p>This wasn’t dramatics, this wasn’t Dave playing up a grand story, Dave wasn’t grounded. This boy, who she would usually describe as childish, a little stupid, and naive, was trembling in his bedroom, crying because he knew even better then Kanaya that this was the last day he had alive. Not the day, last morning. This would be his last conversation before he was begging for his own life at the hands of his father. All because of a heated argument —had they even argued? Or had Dirk planned this for weeks? As he planned to take her Rose- </p><p>“Please” Dave pulled her from her daze, reaching out a hand and grabbing her sleeve “Find him, and tell him to run. I don’t care how, or who gets hurt, but please get him out of here! Tell him to run, and run, and run until no one knows him or can see him...not even me” Dave was crying full force now, tears rolling down his cheeks, reaching out his free hand to grab her other sleeve, knuckles white and holding tight. He looked up to her like a beggar, starving on the streets. </p><p>“Yes-“ </p><p>“And you tell him, that I love him, that I love him so much and to please never forget me!” Dave tried to stand, but he was weak, and he fell to his knees in front of her. Kanaya stepped backwards, trying to speak but couldn’t get a word in “and please beg him to forgive me, apologize for ever writing him a letter, for risking his life for my own pleasure..” </p><p>“Dave” Kanaya tried to kneel, but he cried for her to stand, moving his grip from her sleeve to her skirt, bunching it up and pulling it to his chest so she couldn’t get away. </p><p>“Tell him, you tell him, that he has made my short life so meaningful. That even when I die tonight, i’ll be there forever with him-“ </p><p>“You can tell him yourself!” Kanaya sobbed, only now realizing that she was crying, even catching Dave off guard. She wrapped her hands around his, forcing him to let go and pulling him to his feet. </p><p>“What-“ </p><p>“He’s getting out of here, and so are you!” Kanaya promised, Dave’s eyes widening “Why should you stay here? Locked in your room and forced to die? Dirk won’t take your life, he can’t have you both! Not on my watch-“ She picked up the chicken leg on the plate, taking the largest bite her mouth could fit. Dave watched in confusion, Kanaya picking up the plate and shoving it into his hands “you need to eat, you won’t have a lot of food in the coming days, so cherish it.” </p><p>Dave listened, taking the chicken and taking his own bites, picking up the potato in his hands and eating it like a child. He was eating as quickly as possible, Kanaya looking at the door. “Wait here, I won’t be going far I swear” she looked at him until he nodded, opening the door and barely poking her head out, making sure they were still alone in the hallway. She waved the guards over to her, both of them approaching curiously. </p><p>“I need you to find Karkat, I need you to sneak him away from the others and get him to his sleeping quarters. Tell him to change, hide his face, and wait at the underground exit to the castle, just left from the servants dining area” Kanaya gave them the run down, looking back and forth to make sure they both understood. They seemed rightfully concerned. </p><p>“But Kanaya, we could be arrested-“ Cronus pointed out, looking to Gamzee to make sure they were hearing the same plan. </p><p>“We all could, but if you're caught just blame me! I’ll take both of your punishments, but please, save him.” </p><p>“What if they ask why we are trying to steal Karkat-“ Gamzee questioned, frowning. </p><p>Kanaya thought about it, actually not sure, chewing on her lip and looking between them. Suddenly a stern look covered her face and she grabbed the front of Gamzee's mask, pulling him down “Don't get caught.”</p><p>She pushed him away, and they nodded, looking between themselves before hurrying away from the room. “Thank you!” she called to them, Cronus stopping and nodding, rushing down the hallway. Kanaya looked back and forth before closing the door and back at Dave, who was staring at her. </p><p>“Let’s hope they don’t mess this up” she mumbled, kicking into gear. </p><p>Kanaya ran to his closet and pulled down his riding clothes, looking at everything he had hanging up. </p><p>“You can’t take everything, hell, you can only take a few things” Kanaya was blunt, rummaging through the luggage on the floor, trying to find the lightest bag she could. Dave set down the plate, standing behind her and pulling down his favorites, Kanaya narrowing them down herself. She couldn’t leave too much mess, when they found out he was gone the search would start immediately, but a huge mess would be incriminating. If Dave was to run away on his own, he wouldn’t even have thought ahead to packing a bag. Kanaya was foolish for thinking they wouldn’t find at least one servant to punish, even stupider to think it wouldn’t be her, but she could try. </p><p>“What about the clothes i’m wearing now?” </p><p>“Smart thinking! You’ve gotta take those off, keep the pants, but give me everything else.” Kanaya put out her hand, Dave listening and unbuttoning as quickly as he could, the room chilly one his bare chest. Kanaya took his clothes and shoved them in the bag, pulling out the change of clothes she already packed for him to change into. </p><p>“If we’re lucky, no one will even remember what you were wearing” Kanaya smiled “and that won’t even matter!”  Dave smiled, but the moment didn’t last long, his face suddenly souring. </p><p>“But Dirk knows Karkats name, he knows everything, he’s playing dumb now but he won’t with our father-“ </p><p>“Then we’ll just have to get you out before he gets home!” Kanaya suggested, folding the clothing as compact as possible, trying to leave room for more things. Dave suddenly ran to his dresser, pulling out any jewelry that was valuable.</p><p>“We can sell these! I don’t have much money on me-“ He frowned, but Kanaya nodded and took them, throwing them on top of everything, finally going to his desk and throwing in any scrap paper and sealable ink he had, buckling it closed. It wasn’t too heavy, and it laid flat enough on his back. </p><p>“How will we get away, Dad will be home any minute, he could already be here” Dave said, that hope he once had dwindling. </p><p>“Then we don’t have a second to spare” Kanaya assured him, throwing the bag over his shoulders and wrapping his hood over him, the oversized fabric nearly covering his entire frame. She huffed and held his face, knowing the only way to the servants quarters was down the main staircase, which was being guarded. She couldn’t stress him out anymore, so she didn’t mention it. Kanaya had to do this, even if she failed.</p><p>“Okay…” Dave took a deep breath, following Kanaya to the door. He turned to his room, taking one last look at it before saying goodbye forever. He pulled the hood further over his face, Kanaya pulling him into the hallway and quietly closing the door, locking it again. </p><p>She shushed him silently, taking his hand and speed walking down the hallway. Turning to pass Rose's room again, which she could guarantee was empty, both of them taking a look at the door. Dave leaned as they walked to look out the window, hard to see anything through the rain. It was picking up again, and Dave had a feeling this cape couldn’t keep him dry. Kanaya gestures for him to stay put, running to the top of the stairs to look over the room. The two guards at the door were...gone? She almost didn’t believe it, wondering if they had anything to do with it. Still, at the post, was Equius, looking around rapidly. Kanaya looked back at Dave, who was peeking around the corner at her. She nodded, running down the stairs and taking a deep breath, changing her serious look to one of serious concern.</p><p>“Equius!” she shouted, making him jump and spin around “what are you doing?! They needed you in the kitchen right away!” </p><p>“What?! How-“ </p><p>“No time! Hurry, hurry before the queen gets us all in trouble!” And like that, it worked, Equius nodding and running as quickly as he could to the royal kitchen. She almost didn’t believe how easy that was, expecting a live audience to laugh like she was on stage. No time for silly daydreams, however, Kanaya waved to Dave, who quickly met her side. He was starting to breath heavily, his nerves catching up with him. One wrong move and he’d run back up those stairs and wait like a lamb to slaughter, so she had to be quick. </p><p>Taking his hand again, she b-lined for the servants area, throwing Dave infront of her and pushing him passed the room all of her female friends were being held up in, the guards playing Rock, Paper, Scissors together not even noticing them as they swiftly passed by. Dave pulled his cape into his hands, keeping it away from his feet, trying not to trip. Kanaya knows each twist and turn like the back of her hand. </p><p>Passing Karkat's room, she checked to make sure he wasn’t still changing, leaning into the room and looking back and forth. </p><p>“This is where he sleeps?” Dave asked, looking in with her, Kanaya nodding and starting to run again, Dave stuttering but catching up quickly. </p><p>Kanaya grabbed his arm and pushed him ahead of her again, it definitely was not in the cards to lose him. He huffed as he tried to catch his breath, definitely not used to this sort of physical exercise in his day to day life. She looked ahead of him to make sure they weren’t running into any immediate danger, Dave trying to stop his hood from falling down every few steps. </p><p>“Left!” she called, Dave turning and stopping suddenly. It was the door, and there they stood, Karkat with Cronus and Gamzee. Dave exhaled happily, laughing as he ran without trouble to meet them, leaping into Karkats arms. Kanaya stopped running, simply walking to watch them, finally together at least. Karkat laughed, hugged him and swayed him from side to side, wiping his eyes and smiling down at him. </p><p>“Thank you so much” Kanaya thanked the guards, waving at her dismissively and telling her not to worry about it. It was hard to not calm down, letting Dave and Karkat happily talk together, but they were still in danger. Kanaya threw Dave’s hood back up, getting his attention, the boys facing her. </p><p>“We need to get you to the stables, Karkat we’ll take the farm hands horse we always do, treat this like a normal trip into the city. I’m sorry, but you have to pass through the forest, going any other direction will make you too obvious to anyone inside, and we don’t want you to run into the king-“ She laid down the strategy impressively, even using hand movements and tactical jargon. “When you get to the city, say goodbye to anyone you need but it’ll only be a matter of time before the king returns, and with no prince around, it’ll be a bloodbath to get him back.”</p><p>Dave looked down, leaning into Karkat. </p><p>“And ride, go until you physically can’t anymore! Don’t look back, you’ll feel it when you are finally safe.” Kanaya choked, wiping her wet eyes and putting out both her hands, cupping each boy's cheek. She kissed each one on the nose, giving Karkat two. She patted them for good measure and pulled away, the guard opening the door and the sounds of rain flooding into the hallway. It was about to get bad, the kingdom now leaving the calm of the storm. </p><p>Karkat started out the door, but turned back to hug her. She let out a cry, but tried to push away tears, wanting to look as normal as possible for when she was forced to defend herself. </p><p>“Thank you, for everything” Karkat mumbled, squeezing her tightly “for saving my life, for giving me a family...I promise this won’t be the last you see of me.”</p><p>Kanaya held his face again, kissing him, and urging him to run. He took Dave’s hand, the boys running out into the rain and to the stables. Those horses didn't belong to the royal family, but to the guards and anyone who needed one, just outside this back door. This was actually the most popular servant entrance, even if it wasn’t the correct one. She waited until she heard hooves, a horse busting from the stable doors with the two boys, Dave’s cape flying behind them as they turned and disappeared down the hill and into the trees, Dave looking back at the castle one last time before Kanaya could no longer hear them. </p><p>Hopefully no one else had heard them either, the three that were left, shutting the door and the hallway getting quieter without the rain. Kanaya had no time to miss them yet, looking at the guards. </p><p>“You protect yourselves, don’t be afraid to give me up, but you fight against everything to protect them, okay?” </p><p>“Yes, of course!” </p><p>Kanaya took the hoop of keys off her waist and handed them back, looking down the hallway and back at the guards. “Escort me back to the princess like we came from Dave’s room, no words.” </p><p>“I can’t believe it worked!” </p><p>“We don’t know that it did…” Kanaya spoke seriously, more so escorting the guards as they emerged, sneakily trying to get to Roxy without anyone catching them. They did, finding Roxy with her mother and Dirk, comforting her as she sat quietly in the drawing room. Kanaya tensed as Dirk looked at her, his look of confusion infuriating, but she smiled. </p><p>“How is he” Roxy asked, pulling her hand away from Mom and approaching Kanaya.</p><p>“He seems upset...very upset but I didn’t pry” She fibbed, glancing at Dirk who was now preoccupied with a very quiet conversation between him and his mother “he started to eat but he didn’t seem to have much of an appetite unfortunately.” </p><p>“Oh...that was to be expected” Roxy was speaking so unlike herself infront of her Mom, Kanaya was uncomfortable. Actually, she was more uncomfortable by the fact that she knew Dave and Karkat were ripping through the city as they spoke trying to run away from appending doom, and every person in this room besides her and two buffoon guards thought Dave was in his room not even 5 minutes away. </p><p>“Did he say anything about the situation?” Dirk budded in, now looking at the women, Kanaya straightening her posture. </p><p>“Well of course he did, but he’s always been one to play up events, so I tried to distract him…” Kanaya insisted, Dirk seemingly pleased with this answer. Roxy wasn't, looking behind her at Dirk and back to her hands, still plainly very upset about the whole situation. Any person would be, any person who hadn’t instigated it as part of some grand design. Some sick, horrible, design. Kanaya still hadn’t fully wrapped her head around the realization of Dirks involvement with Rose, even if she had actively tried to stop it while it was still happening. How could she be so blind? </p><p>“That’s enough, put her with the others” Mom finally spoke up, looking over her shoulder with narrow eyes. She had never liked Kanaya in the way her children had, but now she didn’t trust anyone in the room. </p><p>“Of course…mother” Roxy mumbled, Cronus and Gamzee urging Kanaya to come with them. Roxy followed, the small group going back where they started, Kanaya waiting as the door was unlocked. “I’m sorry, Kanaya, I know none of this has anything to do with you!” </p><p>“Of course, but I understand the precautions” Kanaya lied again, worrying herself a little about how naturally it came to her. She let Gamzee open the door, every pair of eyes on her, stepping inside and continuing to talk to Roxy. </p><p>“I’m scared, Kanaya” she whispered, one angry glance from Cronus making everyone continue their conversation and mind their business, knowing Kanaya would fill them in later. “Do you think…” </p><p>“If he has any mercy, if he has a heart” Kanaya spoke ill of her father, hoping it would actually work to make her seem more innocent, not even Roxy stupid enough to not know that at the very least Dave would’ve told Kanaya the entire story. If she spoke like Dave was still at risk, she would look like she didn’t know he was gone. Hopefully. “Dave will be okay…” </p><p>“That’s exactly what i’m worried about-“ Roxy started, suddenly scared straight and whipping around, Dirk running out into the main hallway, Gamzee running to assist him with the door. </p><p>“He’s home…” Roxy choked, running from the door, Cronus quickly shutting it in Kanaya's face and locking it. Her heart started to pound as she stared at the wood, looking behind her to see that Aradia and Nepeta had spared no time to be at her side. She looked back at the door, stepping away. Kanaya could only pray that Dave and Karkat had enough time. </p><p>Roxy, on the other hand, couldn’t pray if she wanted to. She was jittery with nerves, glued to Dirks' side in seconds. Infact, so was Mom. Normally, Jane should be here to re-greet Bro, but her and John had been ordered to be protected in her bedroom with a few palace guards. It was only 3/5th of the Lalondes now, Gamzee and Cronus begrudgingly cranking open the door. The candlelight from the indoors gleamed off his crown, Roxy shaking, Bro ringing out his gloves. </p><p>As the water hits the floor, lightning strikes the sky behind him, Dirks hand poking around for Roxy’s. She took it, feeling safe with his warm hand in hers, which she was certain was drenched in sweat. </p><p>“I wasn’t aware it was supposed to rain so hard, and so quickly too!” Bro chimed, stepping inside with his guards, Roxy subconsciously checking to see if everyone was still with him. “I’ve only been gone a few hours, haven’t I?” </p><p>They all stared at him, silently.</p><p>“What’s the matter with you all?” Bro asked grumpily, smacking his damp gloves into Cronus’ hand.</p><p>“Darling” Mom stepped forward “We have something to tell you…” </p><p>“Whatever about?” </p><p>“...Dave.” </p><p>Bro raised an eyebrow, a look of suspicion on his face. It didn’t help the situation that, as the exact opposite of their mother, Dave was his least favorite. He always found him annoying, irresponsible, and somewhat of a crybaby. He often shouted at him over simple mistakes and took his side last if possible. It would be a miracle if Mom was able to convince him to not go crazy, and Roxy was so painfully aware of that. </p><p>Mom nervously guided him to the drawing room where every letter had been placed out on the desk, in order from oldest to newest, taking up every visible flat surface. It was an incredible amount of letters, and some of them were very romantic, Roxy getting lost in them. She could hardly believe that her brother had received them, and she could hardly sympathize with her Mother and Dirks opinions on them— This man seemed truly in love with her brother, a sentiment he obviously returned. </p><p>Roxy and Dirk stepped into the room, but Mom instantly demanded they leave. Roxy really didn’t want to, but Dirk pulled on her until she did. He was so unlike himself today, and it was making her anxious. </p><p>They stood outside the closed door, only able to hear the outline of talking, muddled by the walls and door. </p><p>“I hope she’s able to convince him” Roxy whispered, turning to look at Dirk for validation, but his eyes gave her something completely different. Everything about his energy was really putting her off, Dirk blinking a few times as if he had just broken a trance, standing straight and nodding. </p><p>“Do you think Dad could really kill him?” </p><p>“You don’t?” </p><p>Dirk looked back down at the floor, turning and looking up and behind him at the huge ceilings and painting lining every open wall. Most of them were portraits, so many of them including the brother in question. Roxy couldn’t help but look too, trying to distract herself in the same way Dirk was, always finding it fun to see how much they aged between each one. </p><p>“Mom has always had a way with control, we’ve seen Dad follow her blindly on crazy things, maybe this time won’t be any different” Dirk said, looking back at Roxy, shrugging as if they were talking about something unimportant. He was such an asshole sometimes. </p><p>“Yes, but this isn’t like that” Roxy groaned “I don’t think you really understand how serious this is?” </p><p>“It’s life and death Roxy, I know, but what’s the point in getting over excited if nothing happens? I’m sorry that it’s hardly been 4 weeks since one sibling died, and now i’m a little less sensitive-“ </p><p>“Dave is our brother! I know you guys butt heads, but are you really-“ </p><p>Both siblings stopped as the noise in the room grew too loud to ignore, shouting and crashing, making Dirk tense up. Roxy stepped forward to the door before it flew open, being shoved backwards by her father. She stumbled, Dirk quickly making way for him as he stormed through the hallway, Mom not far behind him. Roxy and Dirk looked back and forth between their parents and each other before pursuing them, trying to keep up. </p><p>“Derek, you stop it!” Mom shouted, Bro throwing up his hand to dismiss her, pulling his sword from his sheath as he met the stairs. She met this with a cry, reaching for his arm and pulling on him. </p><p>Bro shook her off, an anger unlike anything she had seen today, and Roxy had seen a lot of anger in these past few hours. She was desperately trying to stop him from getting up the stairs. </p><p>“Let go of me! How dare you protect him?” Bro turned to face her, raising his sword and scaring her “did you not read the same letters I did?” </p><p>“This isn’t Dave’s fault!” </p><p>“You are blind-” Bro continued up the stairs, Roxy and Dirk only a few steps behind them. Moms dress splayed over the steps, trailing far behind her, as did her chemise. She could hardly take steps in the giant thing, not able to cover as much ground as their father. The siblings tried not to make too much noise, not wanting to face their father's wrath. </p><p>“Please! We can find the man who wrote them, we’ll have him put to death, Dave can be fixed!” </p><p>“Fixed? Nothing will fix the horrible vile things that he’s done! The letters are enough proof” Bro didn’t face her “those were not one sided, Dave’s responses are somewhere in this castle, those were love letters.” </p><p>Whether or not Bros' opinion of the content was true, he was right about the Love. Roxy knew her father did not lie to himself about anything, and if he thought he was righting a wrong, he would be unstoppable. </p><p>Of course Bro would kill Dave, she was stupid for even thinking otherwise. </p><p>“Derek, please!” Mom begged, reaching the top of the stairs at the same time he did, grabbing on to his shirt again, pulling him backwards. </p><p>Bro turned, smacking her. </p><p>Dirk gasped, running to help her as she stumbled backwards. Grabbing her, she missed the step on her way back and slipped, falling to her knees. </p><p>“Father!” Roxy protested, Bro looking to her with a disciplined stare, Roxy choking up “he’s just misguided! We can help him, we can-“ </p><p>“You do not talk back to your father!” Bro didn't hear her, because that would mean he would have to listen. Nothing any of them said would change his mind, and that was dangerous. </p><p>Dirk helped his mother to her feet, Mom pulling away to continue after Bro, who was getting closer and closer to Dave with every step. Dirk and Roxy stopped on the steps, looking to each other again. </p><p>“We can’t-“ Roxy started </p><p>“Not now, come on” Dirk encouraged, the siblings now significantly behind their parents. As they entered the hallway, Mom and Bro had already turned into Dave’s corridor. Roxy was able to pass Dirk, meeting her parents as they were at the door. </p><p>“It’s locked!” Mom cried, wrapped around his arm and digging her heels into the ground, trying to pull him away. Bro didn’t move, pounding on the bedroom door. He demanded for Dirk to retrieve the keys, but even he was scared stiff. Bro rolled his eyes, throwing his shoulder into the door. “STOP!” she begged. </p><p>He didn’t, slamming himself into the door to act as a human battering ram, the door beginning to rattle under the pressure. Mom has been slung off, trying to pull the sword from him instead. </p><p>“Mom, stop it” Dirk ran to her, grabbing her arm and pulling her away, Mom too weak to stop him. Roxy didn’t want to help, hoping with everything in her that Mom could convince him to stop, but she knew now it was impossible. She needed to protect her mother from getting hurt, grabbing her other arm to help Dirk restrain her. It was hard to defy her as she shouted, demanding they let her go. </p><p>The door was shaking like crazy, starting to give way, the hinges being pulled from the wall. Bro gave one final huff before pulling back, giving himself a running start as he threw himself into the door. He was<br/>
powered by rage, and the lock finally snapped and the door flew open. It hit the opposite wall with such force that it bounced back, Bro hitting it with his knee so it would stay open. </p><p>“NO!” Mom screamed, unable to break free from her oldest children, Roxy struggling to hold on. </p><p>But Bro just stood there, stepping into the room slightly and looking around. Mom made a sad noise of confusion, stopping her fight and letting her arms go limp. Dirk let go, so Roxy followed, Mom standing and running to Bro. He turned, looking out at the three. </p><p>“Is this...a joke?” Bro gripped the hilt of his sword, his arm stiffening straight out, pointing into the room. Mom pushed passed him and desperately looked around the room. She ripped the blankets from the bed and tore apart the sheets, starting to breath heavily. </p><p>“He’s...gone?” Dirk breathed, whipping to look at Roxy.</p><p>“He’s gone?!” she echoed back </p><p>“Shut down the castle” Bro mumbled, suddenly turning to look at the siblings “Shut down the castle! Block every entrance, send men into the city! We have to find him!” Bro ordered them like servants, and they couldn’t help but listen. Dirk nodded and hurried down the hallway but Roxy couldn’t move, trying to look into the room, Bro blocking her. </p><p>“No...noo” Mom sobbed, stumbling and falling to her knees. She pulled his blanket to her face, doubling over herself and shrieking “NO!” </p><p>“Go, GO!” Bro demanded, Roxy's instincts kicking in to carry her away, unable to think as her body went autopilot, trying to catch up with Dirk. </p><p>All she could hear was her mother’s loud screaming and she wondered how he could’ve possibly slipped under their noses.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Please leave some feedback! I love to hear from you guys. Who’s storyline are you the most interested to follow?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Interrogation and Family Reunion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kanaya fights for her innocence, Aradia comforts a grieving friend, and the search continues.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A rare one POV chapter! That’s part of the reason this one is kinda short, but I think it’s a nice mental cool off from the length of the last chapter. </p>
<p>I’m currently working on a new fic, but this one will still be getting consistently updated! Who knows when the first chapter will done, but i’m excited to share it with y’all!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kanaya stood stick straight, hands folded respectfully behind her back, facing forward as she stood in a row with her fellow coworkers. In the common area of the servants quarters, any servant who saw or interacted with Dave had been lined up together, the King standing closer to them all then he probably had in their entire employ. </p>
<p>On either side of her was Equius and Gamzee, both men holding themselves much worse than Kanaya. In her perfectly calm state of being, their negative and nervous energies were weakening her resolve. Gamzee had been stripped of his armor, and Cronus besides him had as well. None of them had any time to come up with a story besides “blame Kanaya” but she still hadn’t found the mindset to regret it. If she was caught, she wouldn’t be caught kicking and screaming. </p>
<p>She would protect these boys, regardless of whether they instantly gave her up under pressure, or got caught lying. All Kanaya had to do was bite as much time as possible for Dave and Karkat. </p>
<p>There were a few other people in the line, but for other reasons. As if Dirk had told Dave himself, he was right to assume Dirk would tell Bro Karkat’s name as soon as he could. Anyone in this line was assumed to have seen Karkat, knew about the letters when they were being sent, or had been picked out by name by the family members. It was a death sentence to already be here, and Kanaya wasn’t sure how many people they were planning to punish. </p>
<p>They would probably kill every person in this line if they felt that it was the right call. </p>
<p>“I want to start by saying” Bro began, anyone who wasn’t looking at him was now looking “If you want to come forward now, then I encourage you to do so.” </p>
<p>No one moved, Kanaya glancing to the side to try and pick everyone out, only able to see a few people. </p>
<p>“That means if you helped Karkat Vantas leave the building, if you helped the Prince, David, leave the building, or knew of the letters before today and said nothing. That includes helping deliver them.” </p>
<p>Still no one, not even the shuffle of feet or the clearing of someone’s throat, dead silence. Bro had a horrifying exterior, and the power he secreted was enough to even make Kanaya want to step forward, let alone the far weaker willed among her. The king nodded his head, stepping forward and closer to them, putting his hand on the hilt of his sword as he looked up and down the lineup. His face was scarred and rough, so unlike his father before him, his graying hair pushed back and out of his face. Bro had well kept facial hair, able to grow quite the impressive beard, but it helped make his face sharp and even less inviting. </p>
<p>“That’s fine with me,” he shrugged, walking to the start of the line, a few people down from Kanaya to start formal questioning. She had originally thought this would be quite inefficient, letting everyone stand and think, but it was actually terrible. Every second she grew more anxious, the king-of-nerves next to her was not talking this well. </p>
<p>Equius was mumbling to himself, picking apart his already shredded nails, hair wisping out from his disheveled ponytail. She wondered if he was afraid for his life, that he left his post, or because Nepeta was standing a few people away from him.</p>
<p>Kanaya couldn't think of one instance where Nepeta had been personally involved in this, besides maybe when it came to gushing about love with Karkat. She was just a teenager, and the idea that she could be punished with something as severe as death over a conversation was absurd. There wasn’t anything Kanaya could do for her, Nepeta was after her, and she couldn’t speak her mind to the king if she wished to have any chance of saving her own life. </p>
<p>The silence after his angry yelling followed by the loud and authoritarian step of his heavy boots sent a chill up her spine, getting closer and closer with every new lack of confession. Kanaya knew who in this line was “guilty” because she was one of them, and most of these people weren’t. They all had solid alibis, and even the ones accused of delivering the letters weren’t lying when they said they had, but couldn’t have had any idea what they said. Before Karkat started doing it himself, he would slide the letters under all the other documents being delivered to the prince, and the servants weren’t permitted to look through his mail. </p>
<p>“You were meant to be watching him weren’t you?” Bro shifted, looking up to Cronus, Kanaya so very uncomfortable. Everything he said could incriminate her, and she had told him to do just that. </p>
<p>“No, Your Highness, I was meant to escort Kanaya to deliver his food, and to bring her back to the Princess.” Cronus spoke far more coherently then Kanaya had ever expected, looking up and over at Bro as they spoke about her. She wanted to at least look the idiot in his eyes if he found out she had saved his son in front of everyone. </p>
<p>“Is that so?” Bro leaned closer to him</p>
<p>“Of course, Your Highness, I spoke to the princess myself. I was the one to put Kanaya back in the holding room before you arrived home.” He was shaking, but his voice was steady. </p>
<p>Bro locked eyes with Kanaya and she almost pissed herself, feeling a rush of hot up her face. She had been mentioned too many times to ignore, but she held her ground. She refused to lose her cool just yet…</p>
<p>“You were the last person to see him?” Bro cocked his head and it seemed to be out of genuine curiosity. </p>
<p>“It would seem so” Kanaya answered, pushing her feet together and following Bro with her eyes as he left Cronus and stood in front of her instead. His long pauses were a tactic of manipulation, as if he was waiting for you to finish the sentence, trying to influence you to say more without asking. Unfortunately, for Bro, she knew better then to fall for his tricks. She blinked a few times and stared into his eyes intensely. </p>
<p>“What did Dave say to you?” </p>
<p>“He told me what happened, with the Prince and Princess, and her Majesty, and told me about the letters. He refused to tell me who wrote them because he was afraid I would tell.” </p>
<p>“So you didn’t know Karkat?” Bro egged on</p>
<p>“I never said that. I knew Karkat well, he lived with my family for many years-“</p>
<p>“You got him this job.” Bro said harshly, Kanaya straightening up and lifting her chin to him. </p>
<p>“I didn’t know he was writing Dave letters, he would have never told me such a thing.” She insisted, lip quivering as she struggled to maintain eye contact with the king, shifting uncomfortably. </p>
<p>“Could it be possible-“ A third voice interrupted them, Bro and Kanaya turning to look at Gamzee, who was now physically choked up “that Karkat and Dave ran away without any help?” </p>
<p>“Excuse me?” Bro pulled his attention away from Kanaya, giving her a second to breathe. </p>
<p>“Well, do you believe that more than two people could navigate the already heavily secured castle to free them? Could that even be possible…” </p>
<p>Bros interest had peaked, and Kanayas too, seeing as this explanation was currently being pulled straight from his ass. </p>
<p>“Equius never saw anyone come from the stairs besides Kanaya, who was with us, and we went straight to the princess-“ </p>
<p>“And Karkat was confirmed to not have been in the throne room by many people- um, Your highness” Cronus interrupted, putting his hands behind his back and looking down. Bro stepped back and looked at the three of them and Kanaya's stomach dropped. Had he realized they were all working to defend each other? Or had they actually made him think? Were they being too obvious? </p>
<p>“That’s...something I hadn’t considered.” Bro told them honestly, looking between them. </p>
<p>“May I add, Your highness” Aradia spoke up, a few people away from Kanaya “Kanaya left and was back in under 30 minutes! She would’ve hardly had anytime to feed him, let alone, sneak him away? It makes no sense...with all due respect!” </p>
<p>She bowed quickly, all her hair falling and covering her face. Bro was deep in thought, looking at Kanaya with a long stare. Kanaya felt so safe, Aradia willing to put herself on the line, even though she had proven herself innocent, to lie for Kanaya, even if she hadn’t told her the full story yet. Aradia knew, deep down, though. </p>
<p>“If it wasn’t you” he stared at Kanaya directly, before stepping back and looking at the group “Then who would it have been? Assuming Dave wasn’t able to get away on his own?” </p>
<p>They all stayed quiet, looking amongst themselves. The energy had changed in the room, every person feeling like they dodged a bullet. They went slack on the line and stood closer together, ducking to talk to people far away. Kanaya looked up at Cronus who nodded at her, Gamzee still visibly tense. </p>
<p>“Could it be-” Kanaya started, Bro just paying attention when the door of the room was thrown open. It was a palace guard, face mask lifted up, the Queen at his side with a cloth hugged in her arms, and urgency in his tone. </p>
<p>“Please forgive me your highness, but they’ve found something regarding the runaway prince-“ </p>
<p>“What?” Bro perked up, stepping towards him. </p>
<p>The guard turned to the Queen and bowed his head, putting out a hand for the garment. She was reluctant but handed it to him, Kanaya feeling a swarm of anxiety. She didn’t need to see anything but the color to know it was his hood, the trim covered in dirt. </p>
<p>“His hood?” Bro asked rhetorically, taking it from the guard and holding out fully, lifting it up so it unraveled. It was undoubtedly forgotten, and completely filthy-</p>
<p>“We found it in a home, with two women. They have been arrested and are under palace custody, your highness.” The guard informed him, standing up straight and looking off distantly in honor. Kanaya couldn’t stop herself from gasping, Bro looking back at her as they both connected the dots. </p>
<p>The king bunched the part of the cape he had in his fist, putting his arm down and dragging it along the floor. Approaching the group again, specifically Kanaya, throwing up his arm again to showcase the fabric. The queen quickly met his side, lifting the bottom off the ground and holding it gently in her arms, looking down the line with resentment. </p>
<p>“You are protecting each other, but which one of you is it?” Bro asked again, simply asking someone to step forward and take blame. He then thrusted his hand forward more violently, making a few of them flinch. </p>
<p>No one spoke, but Kanaya felt ill. </p>
<p>“Really, no one?” Bro asked again, no response “So you won’t mind if I kill the two women who were found with the hood? Burn down their home?” </p>
<p>Kanaya had to force herself not to cry out, teeth clenched and suddenly hot, hands stick straight at her sides. Her mother and sister, how dare she not speak up for them? But her fight wasn’t over yet. Gamzee glanced down at her, eyes locking with a kinship. </p>
<p>“And after that, find any person who knows them and kill them too? Burn down the entire community? Kill every man, woman, AND child until someone gives up the prince? None of you would have anything to say?” </p>
<p>The silence was deafening now, shock on everyone’s faces. That was their families, their community. Kanaya could name almost every member of every persons family in this room, and each of their favorite foods. She knew these people, much better then she knew Dave. And how could Karkat be so irresponsible? Of course he’d go and see the woman he saw as his mother, but to let Dave leave anything behind? </p>
<p>Bro stepped forward, Kanaya breaking her trance to see she was being targeted, his eyes locked with hers. He knew it was her, and all she had to do was say it. Kanaya wanted to move backwards, throw up her hands to shield her eyes, run as fast as she could, but she was frozen like a coward. </p>
<p>“And you will all watch your families burn, burn and die for one Prince? One prince who doesn’t know anyone else’s name besides her,” Bro pointed at Kanaya, barely an inch away from her face, everyone watching in fear “and you all still protect him? Protect her? It was Kanaya, wasn't it?”</p>
<p>“No” Kanaya choked out, clenching her fists. </p>
<p>“Everyone in this line has tied everything they say back to you, Maryam, and who else could possibly have keys into Dave’s room? Besides the set of keys granted to you” Bro had gotten up in her face, Kanaya could almost feel his beard hairs, her eyes unable to focus on him, his voice so loud. </p>
<p>“Your Majesty-“ Kanaya couldn't even whisper, lips trembling and eyes darting around his face. </p>
<p>“Darling” Mom stepped forward, trying to take his shoulder, but he knocked her off. </p>
<p>Kanaya stared deep into his eyes, mouth falling open but unable to say words. How could she do this? How could she be so selfish to ruin every person's life in this room for Dave? and Karkat? She loved them, but were two boys worth thousands of families and homes. She had told everyone to let her face the punishment, but in the actual scenario, she was too much of a coward to face it with confidence. Could she let down Rose by snuffing out some of the last light in her family? Could she have every person in this room's families sentenced to death so she could prove a point? Kanaya had to confess. She had to save more people from dying at the hands of this hateful man. </p>
<p>“Say it, we all know already, stop being selfish and just confess alre-“ </p>
<p>Kanaya looked down the line, straightening up and speaking “I-“ </p>
<p>“It was me!” Gamzee shouted, Bro whipping his head away and upwards from Kanaya. She was shocked, stepping to the side, looking back at Cronus who was wide eyed. Bro backed away and put his hand on the hilt of his sword. </p>
<p>“Excuse me?” </p>
<p>“I helped him escape!” Gamzee confessed again </p>
<p>“Why?!” Mom pushed her way ahead of Bro, hands on her chest in agony. </p>
<p>“He… he was begging for his life! I felt so sorry for him, after dropping off Kanaya and Cronus stayed to guard the door, I went back and helped him escape…”</p>
<p>Mom sobbed into her hand and threw herself into Bro, crying into his shoulder with her whole chest. The king held her closely and called for the guards, the men restraining Gamzee. He didn’t put up a fight, grunting as they forced his hands behind his back. </p>
<p>“You acted alone?” Bro pulled Mom away, facing Gamzee with his free shoulder. </p>
<p>“Yes...Kanaya even begged me not to get involved. She didn’t deserve to take the blame for me, and neither do our families!” </p>
<p>Kanaya was in shock, mouth open as she stared between the two, hands shaking. Cronus put a hand on her shoulder but she didn’t notice. </p>
<p>“If he helped them escape after Kanaya got back, that means they couldn’t have gotten very far! He probably left his cape minutes ago!” Mom exclaimed, turning to the guards at the door “Go! We’ve already wasted too much time.” </p>
<p>The guards responded almost instantly, shouting commands at fellow officers and moving through the castle. For the guards holding Gamzee, however, they tightened their grip, forcing him to bend over. He looked up at the king with pleading eyes, Kanaya, and the few others nearest to them, backing up further. </p>
<p>Bro shook his head and demanded the guards take him to the dungeon to be further interrogated. Gamzee was pulled away harshly, everyone parting to let them through. It was painful to watch. </p>
<p>“My family” Kanaya spoke up, putting a hand out towards the king “will they be okay?” </p>
<p>“We have more questions to ask them before they can go home. If they comply, they’ll be okay” Bro looked back at her, face still critical, holding Mom close. He pulled her and himself from the room, ordering the last few guards for all the maids to be returned to their sleeping quarters and locked in for the night. She watched the King and Queen leave. </p>
<p>Kanaya pinched the bridge of her nose, sighing. </p>
<p>Aradia ran to her side instantly, guards starting to escort them as a pack. </p>
<p>“Oh my gods, are you okay?” Aradia wrapped her hands around her arm, looking between her and Cronus. They were both white as ghosts. </p>
<p>“I can’t believe he...did that for me” Kanaya whispered, looking deeply into Aradia.</p>
<p>“I...I can't be here, I'm sorry,” Cronus excused himself, running ahead and out of the room. </p>
<p>“Kanaya” Aradia looked back to her, tears welling in her eyes “It’s okay...We should talk about this in bed.” </p>
<p>The girls moved with the group, saying goodbye as the roommates waved before being locked in. Kanaya and Aradia weren’t the last to their room by any means, splitting from the group as the others had and saying solemn goodnights before the door was slammed in their faces. Kanaya waited for the group to leave her hallway, the sound of feet growing distant, before she started to cry. She turned and pressed her back into the door and buried her face in her hands, Aradia standing in front of her, a large comical frown on her face. She reached out her hands and rubbed Kanaya's forearms softly. </p>
<p>“You must have so much on your mind” Aradia comforted her, reaching up to push hair from her face.</p>
<p>“I do…” Kanaya whispered, still trying to bottle up everything she’d been dealing with. </p>
<p>“Please, you know you can tell me” Aradia urged </p>
<p>“I...I…” Kanaya stuttered before she started to really let the tears flow, burying her face further away as her shoulders shook “I can’t do this anymore! Everything is always up to me, no matter how much I’m hurting!” </p>
<p>Aradia nodded, but said nothing, moving her hands gently so the women could look at each other. </p>
<p>“I had to watch the woman I loved die! At the hands of her own brother, and did nothing, even when I knew he was up to something” Kanaya tried to wipe her eyes but more tears quickly replaced them “I could hardly mourn before that very same man needed my undivided attention so he could throw up at her funeral, which I had to clean up! Oh god, and my family? My mother is a well spoken woman but she’d never give up Karkat and Dave’s location! If they even told her… and what if she lies to knock them off their trail? and they come back and punish her? After all of this I hardly need to lose anymore family” </p>
<p>“And then I had to continue to work and keep up this castle because apparently I'm the only functioning adult around here! I’ve hardly been upstairs because i’m too much of a coward to face her room” Kanaya threw her arms outwards “and then not even a few weeks later I have to watch Dave beg for his life because that same monster has not satisfied his blood thirst the first time around! I just had to say goodbye to someone I consider like a little brother in under a minute, possibly for the rest of my life, because this royal family is selfish and horrible!” </p>
<p>Kanaya was crying so hard she barely made sense, Aradia listening intently to every word. She reached up and dried her face, keeping up with the new tears every time they fell. Her small hands were soft, and Kanaya found great comfort in them. </p>
<p>“I miss her so much, Aradia” Kanaya choked, the color drained from her cheeks “Only you could ever understand that…” </p>
<p>“Shh, this isn’t about me” Aradia shook her head, holding her cheeks in her hands, wiping the tears away with the pads of her thumbs. </p>
<p>“I just feel so overwhelmed, I’ve hardly had a second to sit down and just process anything i’ve been feeling!” </p>
<p>“You deserve a break” Aradia agreed, pulling Kanaya into a tight hug. Kanaya was so much taller than Aradia, bending slightly to make it comfortable. </p>
<p>“We all do…” Kanaya snuggled her head into Aradia's mane of hair “and I think we might be getting one.” </p>
<p>“Will you tell the Queen and King about what Dirk did?” </p>
<p>“How could I? They’d have me hung for defamation of royalty knowing my luck. They’d never believe me…” </p>
<p>She looked up, and back at the door with a frown, taking in a deep breath. </p>
<p>“Do you think they’ll find him?” </p>
<p>“God I sure hope not…” Kanaya looked to her, reaching to push her thick hair behind her shoulders, smoothing out the frizzy mess. </p>
<p>“Do you think they’ll interrogate us more tomorrow?” Aradia asked nervously, shuffling. </p>
<p>“I think we won’t have any chores tomorrow, and we might get to sleep in,” Kanaya smiled, wiping the last of her tears away, sniffing and shaking out her tenseness. “I’m sorry I cried I just-“ </p>
<p>“Don’t you dare apologize! You were there for me through the worst moments of my life...a small vent was the least I can do!” Aradia reassures her. She gave Kanaya one last squeeze before pulling away, looking down at herself and swaying slightly to make her skirt sway. </p>
<p>“It’s impossible to think it’s only the evening and we are already done with work! We should change for…bed!” Aradia giggled, that intense grin on her face. </p>
<p>“I won’t be able to sleep for hours” Kanaya shook her head, reaching behind her back to undo the tie on her apron. Aradia danced away from her, kicking off her flats and tugging her apron over her head, throwing it in a bunch on her bed. Kanaya took to her own bed, facing away from Aradia to undress and give both women privacy. </p>
<p>She folded up her clothing neatly, toeing her shoes off gently and lining the tips of the shoes up at the side of her bed. Her nightgown was scarily simple, a white dress with long puffy sleeves, revealing too much of her neck to be appropriate. Roxy wore many revealing things, but it wasn’t the same for Kanaya to do it. Turning to look at Aradia, who always preferred darker colors, wore a black nightgown with short sleeves and just as loose of a neck, swaying at her knees. It was the shortest dress Kanaya had ever seen and it made her blush every time she saw Aradia in it. It was so revealing, and Aradia appeared to be barely clothed. </p>
<p>“Oh stop, you act like i’m naked!” Aradia teased</p>
<p>“You might as well be! I can see every inch of you” Kanaya chuckled, putting a hand to her mouth.</p>
<p>“Then stop looking!” Aradia lunged at her, grabbing her hands and spinning around with her. The women danced, laughing and stumbling as they tried to stay coordinated. Aradia tried to spin Kanaya, which led to a head on head collision, making both women hit the floor. They erupted into laughter, laying together. </p>
<p>“I’m so glad it worked,” Aradia said quietly, turning her head and looking at Kanaya. </p>
<p>“I think I can confidently say it did! Unless they’d stopped for any reason…” Kanaya started to stress herself out again but Aradia quietly stopped her. </p>
<p>“They can finally be in love…” her voice was full of admiration, taking in a deep sigh and looking back at the ceiling. </p>
<p>Kanaya searched around for her hand and locked their fingers together, holding her hand firmly. Aradia squeezed back, both women looking up. The floor was cold but Aradia was so warm, canceling it out. Kanaya knew in that moment that they could lay on the floor for hours together in silence and solidarity. That was, if either of them could stand not talking for that long. </p>
<p>“Where do you think they’ll go?” Aradia was talking in an unusual quiet voice, hoping to insure that if any listeners were spying they wouldn’t hear her. </p>
<p>“Hopefully very far from here...maybe he’ll go back home” Kanaya smiled to herself </p>
<p>“Maybe they’ll go to france!” Aradia cooed, lacing her fingers together and grinning. </p>
<p>“Russia is so big, I just hope they don’t get lost” Kanaya admitted, turning on her side and laying her head on her crossed arms to face Aradia fully “Dave has hardly left the castle his entire life! I think the furthest he’s been into the kingdom is when we took him…” </p>
<p>“Don’t worry too much! Karkat is used to long travel, and he knows his way around” Aradia assures her, stretching out like a house cat and putting her hands behind her head. </p>
<p>“I wonder if they’ll go to spain…” Kanaya repeated her sentiment from earlier, Aradia smiling wide again “he told me it’s sunny, and covered in plants and fruit.” </p>
<p>“He told me the houses are made from mud, and they use blankets as doors! And the roads are dirt and everyone runs around with no shoes and plays in the rivers all day” Aradia spoke fondly of it, but Kanaya would never want to live in a house made of mud. Although, she was inclined to believe that Aradia thought the houses were made of active, wet, mud, and not dried and sturdy materials.</p>
<p>“I’d love to live somewhere where it’s always sunny, but I’d miss the snow around christmas” Kanaya agreed regardless, playing with a piece of her hair. </p>
<p>“I wouldn’t, I would make a SANDman, instead of a snowman” She giggled, such a large and charming mouth. Aradia thought about the semantics of a sandman for a few seconds “would you use coal for buttons still? Or rocks?” </p>
<p>“I don’t know” Kanaya laughed, wanting to spend even a few minutes inside that mind of hers. </p>
<p>A knock on the door broke the girl's conversation, Kanaya sitting up quickly. Aradia did the same, watching Kanaya stand and go to the door. Kanaya brushes off her nightgown, embarrassed as to who might see her in it. She went to pull the door open, but it didn’t budge. Kanaya rolled her eyes, putting a hand on the door and speaking close to it. “Hello?” </p>
<p>“Oh-“ a familiar voice mumbled, then the sounds of jingling keys, followed by the door being unlocked. The door was pushed open, and Kanaya stopped it from<br/>
opening more than a crack, hiding her body and peeking her head out. It was Cronus. They had given him his armor back, and his sword too. </p>
<p>“Cronus! Hello” Kanaya still covered her body, Cronus always a little weird “what are you doing?” </p>
<p>“The King has requested your presence” He didn’t greet her warmly as he always did, standing straight with a nervous face. </p>
<p>“I’m not dressed!” Kanaya protested, but Cronus didn’t say anything. She rolled her eyes and opened the door fully, putting out a hand to signal him to wait, slipping on her shoes and following him into the hallway. Aradia was up on her feet, picking at her fingernails, and watching the two. “I’ll be right back, okay?” </p>
<p>Aradia nodded, and Kanaya moved away from the door so Cronus could close and lock it. He ushered her to walk ahead of him, but she preferred to walk besides him. He didn’t protest and they made their way to wherever her presence was needed. She couldn’t help but be extremely nervous. </p>
<p>“So...what’s going on?” </p>
<p>“I don’t know,” Cronus said with a shaky voice, not looking at her. It was obvious everything was too much for him, and she was worried he would snap under the pressure. Both their lives depended on neither of them admitting to the crime, or atleast leaving the other out of the confession, so Kanaya hoped he was up to it. </p>
<p>“You know, we’re in this together. I promise I won’t leave you behind if anything is to happen” </p>
<p>Cronus stayed quiet for a few seconds, chewing on his bottom lip and looking at her. “Thank you…” </p>
<p>She was brought to the throne room, Cronus opening the door and standing straight, the King at his throne. The Queen was nowhere in sight, but two women she did recognize were. Kanaya smiled, escorted by Cronus deeper into the room. Her mother and sister turned from the king and to Kanaya, a happinesses washing over their faces. It wasn’t often they got to see each other, never getting the chance to go home, even over the holidays sometimes. This was very special to Kanaya, regardless of the circumstances. </p>
<p>“Mom! Porrim!” Kanaya called, leaving Cronus and running to them, taking them both into her arms. They were in their own night clothes, the girls giggling about how underdressed they were. </p>
<p>“I never thought I’d meet the king in my nighty...also after getting arrested” Porrim grinned, smacking Kanaya's bare shoulders to make her jump and cover herself defensively. </p>
<p>Rosa, Kanaya's mother, was wearing her usual style of night clothes. A dress that hugged her neck, a long to-the-floor skirt, and loose sleeves that met her wrists. Porrim was also wearing her night clothes, but growing up with only women, and Karkat, in your home made what you wore less appropriate. Porrim was wearing a thin strapped silk shirt, her nipples visible through the fabric. She was wearing only her bloomers, and it appeared they hadn’t given her anything to cover up with. It made Kanaya blush, not because she was wearing it, but because the King was seeing her in it.</p>
<p>He also seemed a bit uncomfortable, not very nonchalant in the way he avoided looking at her. </p>
<p>“Kanaya” The king called her attention, the women silencing their laughter and looking up at him. He looked like he was having significantly less fun, Kanaya bowing her head in respect. “I wished to have you here to make sure no one has been lying.” </p>
<p>“Pardon me?” Kanaya asked respectfully</p>
<p>“Well, if you all knew Karkat well, you should all have similar answers right? Especially in regards to where he might’ve taken Dave.” Kanaya seized up, looking between her mother and sister who looked equally as nervous. Had they lied to protect him? Had they been honest to protect themselves? If they had lied, how many different places could they have claimed he would go? Kanaya's mouth wavered open, trying to find the words to say. </p>
<p>“Alright… What did you ask?” Kanaya put out her chin confidently, crossing her arms behind her back. </p>
<p>“How long have you known Karkat?” </p>
<p>“Since he was a boy, he snuck into the kingdom on a cart and has lived with us since.” </p>
<p>“What has he told you about Dave?” </p>
<p>“That he was an incredible, yet somewhat annoying, young man and he loved to be in his company.” </p>
<p>“And this didn't bother you?” </p>
<p>“I’ve spoken more romantic things in regard to people I hate” Kanaya was spitting off, more comfortable with each question the King threw at her. </p>
<p>“Why did you fail to mention your relationship to Karkat when you got him his position?” </p>
<p>“It wasn’t relevant, and the Princess knew.” </p>
<p>“Do you know where Karkat might’ve kept Dave’s responses to the letters?” </p>
<p>“If there are responses, and they aren’t in his room, then I would have no idea where to look.” </p>
<p>“If?” the King cocked his eyebrow </p>
<p>“I still don’t understand the nature of their relationship! You speak like Dave was taken, her majesty speaks as if they might’ve been in love. Who knows!” </p>
<p>The king sat back and nodded, nibbling on his cheek and looking between the three women. If Kanaya had said anything different then her family, it hadn’t been compelling enough for the King to call it out, so she sighed a sigh of relief. </p>
<p>“One last question” The king rubbed his chin, scratching at his graying beard. </p>
<p>“Anything.” </p>
<p>“Where would he have taken David?” </p>
<p>Kanaya looked between her Mother and Porrim, who had both answered this already. Now brought back her earlier questions; had they mentioned Spain? Kanaya was certain they went that way, but was the King? She was terribly nervous, struggling over a way to start her sentence. </p>
<p>“What’s the matter? If you aren’t lying, there shouldn’t be anything to worry about” The king leaned forward, snide as always, Kanaya clenching her fists. </p>
<p>“But that’s not fair! There is tons of places he could’ve gone-“ </p>
<p>“Your family seemed quite sure, actually.” He cocked his head, so condescending in his nature. He would do anything to get Kanaya done up for this, and she refused to give him the pleasure. </p>
<p>“That could only mean…” Kanaya stumbled over her words, side eyeing her mother. Her mom was playing with her nightgown, not so subtly pointing upwards. Upwards? What was upwards…the King slouched on his arm rest, obviously growing tired of the stalling. </p>
<p>“He would start with… Sweden!” Kanaya called out, Bro giving her a surprised look. That doesn’t seem good, but looking at her sister, she had relaxed significantly. Bro leaned back in his chair and nodded. </p>
<p>The guard next to him suddenly perked up and bowed his head “If they are telling the truth and the Prince is being taken to Sweden, they could be planning to board a boat and head to England...or Iceland!...um… your majesty” </p>
<p>The king perked up to this, groaning and standing, rubbing his head. “If they get on a boat, we’ll never find him.” Bro turned to the women, pointing in their direction and commanding the guards to return them home, Kanaya to her room, and round up all the troops in the city to head towards Sweden at once. “If we’re lucky, we’ll catch them before they even get out of Russia.” </p>
<p>Kanaya felt a harsh tug on her arm, ripping it away and looking up at the guard. It was Cronus, as she expected, but he was still being a douchebag. </p>
<p>“Stop it, let me say goodbye to my family” </p>
<p>Cronus groaned, insisting that if they have to say goodbyes, then they all have to come with him. They agreed, following him to the main hallway, where Kanaya had found herself in a lot these past few days. Two more guards had met them, holding the door open and waiting at the carriage that was to bring the women home. It was hugs galore. </p>
<p>“You be good okay, and stop making people think you’ve committed horrible crimes of treason? The last thing we need is all the neighbors watching us be pulled from the house at the late hours of the night by palace staff again!” Her mother scolded, waving her finger menacingly. Kanaya chuckled, swatting at her. </p>
<p>“No seriously, I was putting up one hell of a fight too” Porrim claimed, pushing Kanaya playfully. </p>
<p>“In that loose fabric you call clothes?” </p>
<p>“Hey! I look sexy!”</p>
<p>“Don’t speak like that here!” Mom smacked the back of her head, Porrim stumbling forehead and rubbing the sore spot. She was the only person in the family, although there were not many, who kept her hair long. It fell in front of her face, and she pulled on the loose pieces to uncover herself. </p>
<p>“I miss you both so much” Kanaya smiled</p>
<p>“I can’t believe you get to live in such a beautiful castle” Porrim grumbled, crossing her arms and looking around at the beautiful, tall, ceilings. </p>
<p>“Well I don’t really get to be in the beautiful part that often, but you wouldn’t believe the rooms the royals have! It’s like heaven” Kanaya giggled, Porrim doing a little spin and throwing her head back dramatically, pretending to be a distressed princess. </p>
<p>A guard stepped forward and broke them apart, insisting they get moving. </p>
<p>“I promise I’ll see you both soon, and get home safe!” Kanaya walked with them to the door, stopped as she tried to step outside. Rosa waved, leaning over Cronus’ arm to kiss her cheek, Porrim climbing into the carriage and sticking her tongue out at Kanaya. She leaned over Cronus and waved the entire time they could see her, finally ripped inside when they were gone. “Ugh!” she scoffed, forcing Cronus to let go of her and stop dragging her. </p>
<p>“What is your issue!” Kanaya exclaimed, straightening out her dress where he had squeezed her. </p>
<p>“You are too comfortable right now, don’t you understand that the prince is missing?” </p>
<p>“How dare you! Of course I understand, but I can’t even take a moment to talk to my family?” Kanaya threw her hands up dramatically, shoving her hand in his face and escorting herself to her room. He followed, having to lock her in. He was playing up this “Passionate and totally innocent guard” role way too hard. She opened her own door, glaring at him before he shut it, the loud locking sound obnoxious. </p>
<p>Kanaya shook her head, looking back into the room that had gotten a little darker. The light on her nightstand was still lit, but Aradias had been put out. She was laying atop her covers, snoring quietly. </p>
<p>She smiled, creeping over and gently pulling the blankets from under her, lifting them over Aradia. She stirred, turning and looking up at Kanaya with a smile. </p>
<p>“Kanaya! You’re back…” she yawned, snuggling back up into her pillow. </p>
<p>“Shh, go to bed” Kanaya chuckled</p>
<p>“Did everything go okay?” Aradia mumbled</p>
<p>“Yes...it went perfectly” Kanaya reassured her, walking to her own bedside and kicking off her shoes again. She rubbed her eyes, yawning and crawling into bed. The covers were cold just how she liked it, and she snuffed out the light at her bed. </p>
<p>As she got comfortable, she let the soft sounds of Aradia's snoring and that safe feeling in her chest rock her to sleep, trying not to think too hard about Dave and Karkat and all of the things that could’ve possibly gone wrong.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Feedback is always appreciated! Do you have a favorite character within the story?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. The Announcement</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dirk finally shares the big news, loses his cool, and gets punched in the face.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter is one POV again, which probably won’t be a continuing pattern, but getting Dirks narrative across is really important for me right now so he gets the spotlight... again *rolls eyes* </p>
<p>Also, the first chapter of my new Homestuck fic is now up! It’s a lot different then this work, but if you might consider giving it a chance I’d be so grateful! In the meantime, please enjoy the chapter!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The castle had grown eerily quiet in the past few days, and family dinners had all but stopped. No servants spoke in the halls, not even in whispers, afraid to say anything to get them in trouble. Gamzee had never returned from the dungeon, a curfew had been placed, and the search parties continued to come up empty. </p>
<p>Every day they rode farther, and everyday, they came back with nothing. Bro stopped sending people to look, and Mom stopped being able to leave her bed. His room was relocked and any talk of pronouncing him dead, denouncing him, or cleaning out his room, filled their mother with anger. No one was allowed to talk about it with her, and everyday her condition got worse. </p>
<p>Without her knowledge, Bro made the call to go through his things and separate them out between surviving family, and Mom would be told later. </p>
<p>Roxy sat on his bedroom floor, his bed stripped of its sheets and pillows, his jewelry and stationary scattered out in organized piles to get a good look at. Bro had only taken his crown, excusing himself and giving everyone else free reign. Roxy, John, Jane, and Dirk had all been searching and calling dibs on things all morning, although it was mostly the royal siblings arguing over who got what. </p>
<p>“He sure had quite the collection of quills!” Jane stated, holding up a fistful of tipped feathers, turning and looking at the details on each one. </p>
<p>“And paper...and wax pellets” John looked enthralled as he sorted them by color and size. </p>
<p>Roxy had gathered every abandoned note and drawing he had tucked in his desk, looking at his art fondly with each unique brush stroke and scribble. It was nice to have something so personal from him. “He loved his writing, and creating anything, especially songs…” </p>
<p>“What do you think of these, Dirk?” Jane held up a handful of rings, Dirk picking one up and turning to examine it, before sliding it on his finger. </p>
<p>“This one is okay, but we have too many already, don’t take them” he pushed her hands down and she spilled them all over the floor with a pout. </p>
<p>“He had so much...of everything” John picked up a few of the rings, eyes darting around quickly as he tried to count them all. “Rings, jewels, quills, ink!” </p>
<p>“Dave was horribly spoiled” Dirk answered flatly, leaning over the mess to grab some of the papers from Roxy, who was still fingering through them. </p>
<p>“He wasn’t spoiled! He was just the youngest, the baby always gets special treatment” Roxy defended, rolling her eyes at Dirk. She was trying to stay positive, but everything had aged her so much. She hardly realized he was truly gone— and maybe a part of her was still praying he would show up at home. </p>
<p>Roxy did find some sort of solace in the idea that he was free from punishment, wherever he was. She had a lot of time to reflect on all the things she learned about him in these past few weeks, and it brought her a great deal of comfort. </p>
<p>“How are you fairing through all of this?” Jane asked her sweetly, moving on to his mini collection of ribbons “You’ve hardly had a moment to grieve over one late family member, and now two? It’s a nightmare!” </p>
<p>“There isn’t any need to grieve, really” Roxy sighed, rubbing her face out of stress. “He’s alive! and no one is stupid enough to not understand the fact that he loved Karkat, no matter how strange that may be-“</p>
<p>Dirk shushed her as a maid walked by, waving at the royals as she carried on, Roxy lowering her voice. </p>
<p>“If he had stayed, then I would have to grieve” Roxy admitted “Wherever he is, he’s happy.” </p>
<p>Jane looked down, still displeased with the situation. No one really knew how to approach it, especially someone who hardly knew him. Roxy didn’t know Janes views on homosexuality, and she didn’t know John or Dirks either. Dirk had played up this idea that he was disturbed, as if Roxy hadn’t seen his first kiss with the farm hand’s son when he was 11. It made her sick what he had done, but she had to learn to forgive him. There wasn’t any way he could’ve understood the level of punishment Dave would face, and she couldn’t hate the only sibling she had left. Roxy didn’t know if she was capable of hating Dirk at all. </p>
<p>“I just hope that’s the case, that he’s alive,” Jane said, twirling the ribbons around her fingers as she created quite the stack of ones for her to keep. </p>
<p>“We’ll never know” Dirk shrugged, folding up a drawing and sliding it into his pile “Unless he shows up.” </p>
<p>“Is your mother looking any better?” John asked </p>
<p>This question was heavy, and the other three thought on how to answer it. Jane wouldn’t know, but Dirk and Roxy eyed each other down, deciding who would be better at answering. Roxy smoothed out her dress and looked around awkwardly, Dirk rolling his eyes. </p>
<p>“All the stress is killing her, we think” Dirk was straight up, acting incredibly nonchalant. It made John visibly uncomfortable, pushing his tongue against his teeth. </p>
<p>“It’s not stress, it’s a broken heart” Jane said sadly, rubbing the soft silk ribbon between her fingers, crossing her legs and loosening up on her posture. </p>
<p>“Dave meant a lot to her, far more than either of us” Roxy admitted, looking to John to give him some comfort about the whole situation “She never cared for us in the same way, not even Rose, so not having him around must be life altering” </p>
<p>“It’s the only reason father is still sending anyone out, and why he didn’t tell her we were doing this, if she thinks we’ve stopped trying…” </p>
<p>“It’ll kill her” Roxy finished for him, the silence in the room awkward. No one wanted to say anything. </p>
<p>Dirk finally stood, petting Jane's head and smoothing out his wrinkled pants. He picked up the drawing he had chosen and left it folded up, stepping away from<br/>everyone. Jane craned her neck to look at him as he excused himself, promising he would be back after a while. He slipped out of the room and Roxy frowned, Jane sliding all the other things he left behind into her pile to grab for him. </p>
<p>“Where is he going?” She asked Jane</p>
<p>“Oh! I’m not sure, making him uncomfortable talking about all of this together” Jane shrugged, reorganizing her stuff to fit with his. </p>
<p>“He seemed alright to me” John stated coldly, picking at the fraying thread of his gloves. </p>
<p>“Who knows with that boy! He’s so dramatic sometimes” Jane giggled, shaking her head. </p>
<p>Roxy found comfort in that, letting any extra stress roll off her shoulders as she could. She didn’t need to worry about Dirk right now if she could, she had a lot to focus on. But she was tired of focusing on all the terrible things, she might as well speak of things she’d rather know about. </p>
<p>“So Jane...do you think he’s going to ask you soon?” </p>
<p>“Ask me...what?” She said coyly</p>
<p>“To marry you of course!” Roxy leaned forward and supported herself on her hands, sitting on her folded knees. John smiled between the two women. Jane blushed and waved her away, covering her mouth. </p>
<p>“How personal! When do you think John will ask your hand in marriage?!” she teased, John sitting up defensively.</p>
<p>“Me and Roxy are not lovers!” He blushed, laughing as he swatted at her. Jane called him off, apologizing with a chuckle. Roxy didn’t get flustered, not uncomfortable with her simple friendship with John. </p>
<p>“But seriously! Had he dropped any hints?” Roxy clasped her hands together, fomenting her.</p>
<p>“Well...can I be honest with the both of you?” Jane blushed aggressively, pressing her fingers together. John looked at Roxy, and she looked at him, with equal looks of excitement. </p>
<p>“Of course, anything!” </p>
<p>Dirk had told her not to say anything, but he wasn't here to stop her. He was rushing down the hallways, nobody usually brave enough to stop him, especially now. He wasn’t supposed to be running around freely right now, but not even his father enforced it. Everyone had grown tired of the theatrics, and without Mom patrolling the halls, there was nothing to fear. </p>
<p>Except for Dirk, of course. </p>
<p>He went down the large staircase, quickly crossing the hall, and ascending the next one. He was a slight, athletic, man, so it never bothered him. Roxy would huff at the top of the stairs dramatically, acting as if she had run the length of the castle. Granted, she was usually wearing a gown, it was still a bit much. </p>
<p>Dirk slipped by Nepeta, who was standing on her tippy toes hand washing a window. She gasped, getting his attention. “Dirk! erm I mean, Your majesty” waving violently. Dirk smiled and waved back, Nepeta sticking out her tongue and getting back to work. </p>
<p>He didn’t understand what was so charming about her, almost like the little sibling he never had. </p>
<p>Turning to face his mother’s door, he knocked, waiting patiently for someone to answer. The door was opened for him, facing Kanaya. Why did this woman follow him everywhere he went? Why was she even trusted to care for anyone right now? She didn’t say anything, pushing the door open further, and allowing him in. Dirk walked past her and broke the tense forcefield keeping him outside. He forgot how beautiful this room was, and how large his parents bed was.</p>
<p>He was never allowed in here, not even as a child. </p>
<p>Mom turned to face him, sitting up in her bed, a book sitting on the edge as if she was being read to. Her hair had been combed for her, and presumably her clothing changed, and the bed was disheveled. Bro hadn’t been sleeping in here, not for days, and Mom was completely alone with her thoughts. </p>
<p>When she wasn’t with maids, or her children, she would sit and stare at the wall, or run her hand over his cape (which she had started to sleep with). </p>
<p>“Good morning, Mama” he said nicely, her face unmoving. She didn’t want affection, she wanted to be alone. He couldn't give that to her just yet, because he had one last thing to tell her. “How are you?” </p>
<p>“What do you need?” She cut to it, reaching over to pick up the book she was listening to and closing it, Kanaya coming to her side to silently take it. </p>
<p>“I know you aren’t well right now, and you have a lot to deal with, but I wanted to-“ </p>
<p>“Dirk, won’t you stop wasting my time?” She cut him off bitterly, pressing her thumb into her cheek and her pointer into her forehead, rubbing in great annoyance. Kanaya looked up at him, nervously flicking through the book to find the page they were on. </p>
<p>“Um, of course” He paused, her cool and judgemental eyes burning into him. She was horrible to look at, like staring directly into the eyes of a viper. He could recall that look every year of his life, the aging wrinkles around her eyes making her more scary. Dirk couldn't<br/>believe that even after all he had done, a conversation with his mother put him on edge. </p>
<p>“Well?” she rolled her hand, urging him to speak. For some reason every intelligent thought had left his head, and his hands gripped his pants as he tried to form a sentence. She looked at him in deep thought,  nodding her head as if conversing with herself “You know, they told me you can’t truly judge your children until they grow, but I knew you would disappoint me the second you opened your eyes to look at me. It was something about you…” </p>
<p>Dirk stirred, shaking his head angrily and tapping his foot. She was going mad, and with insanity came anger. He didn’t have time for this bullshit today. </p>
<p>“You behaved so terribly, you didn’t listen to anything, you were unkind and bitter” She spewed angrily, Dirk still trying to form his sentence. Kanaya, and the two other women in the room, watched uncomfortably. This wasn’t the first time him and his mother had this conversation, and it wasn’t anything new for Dirk regardless. “Dave was a blessing, you were nothing short of a disappointment. Derek was so excited to have a first born son he would say anything to protect you, but you are pathetic-“ </p>
<p>“I’m getting married” Dirk interrupted her, finally being able to look her in the eyes. </p>
<p>“What?” she choked, eyes widening. </p>
<p>“Me and Jane are engaged, you are the first person I’m telling.” He smirked, a satisfaction filling his stomach. Her lip quivered and she furrowed her eyebrows, a familiar anger filling her eyes. “Oh! and I have this, I took it thinking you might like it.” </p>
<p>He tossed the speechless women the note, her thin hands catching it and opening it, still a look of angry disbelief on her face. “He left it behind with a few of his drawings, I thought it was interesting.” </p>
<p>When she unfolded the paper, it was a small drawing of Dave and Karkat, presumably, under a wedding arch and a pair of wedding bells. It was a simple doodle, one a small girl would draw in the corner of her paper at school in a daydream. It was sweet, and very clearly her son and his lover. </p>
<p>“I was excited to tell you, I just didn’t know when, but this drawing must’ve been a sign. Dave always wanted to have a big, extravagant, wedding” Dirk recalled, Mom gripping the paper tightly until it crumpled, that same stupid look on her face.</p>
<p>“You… you've…” </p>
<p>“Won? Yes!” Dirk laughed sharply “You never thought I could do it, but look at me, will you even be here to see the crown passed to me?” </p>
<p>“You-“ </p>
<p>“I hope so, I’d give anything to see the look on your face when you realize you won’t ever see anyone of your other children marry! Not as long as I'm around, atleast” Dirk wasn’t sure what possessed him, not caring for the others in the room, desperate to say everything he needed to say before his addrenline couldn’t hold him together and he’d break down. </p>
<p>You could see it in her eyes, the last spark of life behind them being blown out, staring emotionless, deadly grip on the paper. She behaved like a corpse experiencing rigor mortis. </p>
<p>“I’ve already thought about everything; The food, the dress, the colors!” Dirk couldn't stop from laughing “Everything perfect for the day I finally get to put that magnificent, golden, junk on my head! The day when you realize you killed all the babies you actually liked, and it’s up to me to resurrect this kingdom” </p>
<p>“You horrible monster!” Mom cried, a flicker behind her dead eyes, quickly pressing the doodle into her chest. </p>
<p>“I am not the monster, you did this to yourself! You killed both of your children without any help from me! Rose was trapped in a circulation of her own disease, Dave was trapped in his bedroom! You have no one to blame but yourself!” Dirk spit, a horrible and malicious smile on his face, leaning forward to better see her. </p>
<p>Mom cried out in anguish, pulling her knees to her chest and hiding her face, Dirk watching coldly. He was aware that he sounded insane, speaking with a disrespect that Dirk from the beginning of the year would tremble at the thought of. He was so happy to have everything off his chest. Finally, he could say to her face how he felt, even if he’d never have time to actually speak his truest feelings. </p>
<p>“I should go, I have yet to tell anyone else…” Dirk waves nonchalantly, taking a few steps backwards towards the door “I’m so glad we could share this moment together, Jane has hardly been able to contain herself” Dirk watched as Mom glared over her crossed arm, a force of pure hatred that echoed his brothers pleading eyes back at him “I was hoping you would be a little proud of me, but of course you have to ruin everything with your blind, immature, hatred of your own child…” </p>
<p>“You will be a horrible king” Mom seethed</p>
<p>“You raised me to be.” Dirk answered flatly, looking up at the three women in the room, but specifically looking Kanaya in her eyes “Excuse my harsh language, girls, please continue whatever it was you were doing…” </p>
<p>Dirk went to the door, turning the handle, and cracking it just slightly before he turned to look back at her. “The search party returned again today with nothing, and I think it might be the last one” Her eyes widened, all the blood rushing from her face “I thought I should tell you before father did, just to warn you.” </p>
<p>He turned away and walked into the hallway, shutting the door softly and taking a deep breath as soon as he was alone. Dirk smiled, sighing in relief as he looked down at his feet, removing his hand from the doorknob. He was so happy that horrible woman was dying, especially if he got to speed up the process. </p>
<p>She had never been a mother. </p>
<p>He had no more time to waste on her, because he had some very exciting news to tell his father. He walked back down the hallway to see Nepeta was no longer waiting for him, Dirk paying no mind and hurrying down the stairs. He had no idea where his father might be- </p>
<p>“Dirk!” Roxy called to him, looking up he saw her at the top of the stairs, holding her dress in fists with an angry look on her face. He gave her a confused look, Jane and John emerging from the hallway behind her in giggling fits, Roxy storming down the stairs. </p>
<p>“What’s wrong?” Dirk asked, taking a step backwards. An angry Roxy was no joke, regardless of the giggling. She stopped in front of him, throwing her dress down and flicking him rapidly all over his face. Dirk swatted her hand away, whining “Stop it, stop!” </p>
<p>“You didn’t tell me you were engaged?!” Roxy put her hands on her hips, full of disbelief. </p>
<p>“Well- um” He looked behind her as Jane rapidly approached, John not far behind. She rubbed the back of her head and put her hands on Roxy’s shoulder. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry! I couldn’t help myself” Jane apologized “I was just too excited I needed to tell someone!” </p>
<p>“You’ve been engaged for a month and you never told me! You are supposed to tell me everything!” Roxy complained, but couldn’t stop a smile from pulling at her lips, laughing happily and pulling him into a hug. It was tight and felt so safe, and Dirk let his guard down to lay into her arms.”Oh my god i’m so happy for you! I<br/>I can't believe it, I knew you were gonna marry Jane the day I met her!” </p>
<p>Jane laughed, blushing and shoving her playfully. </p>
<p>“Married?” Another voice called, confused. Dirk turned to look back up the staircase he had just descended, his father standing in full view. His hand rested softly on the hilt of his sword, looking between his two children. He often disregarded Jane and John unless in a professional setting, and John despised it. </p>
<p>“Father! You won’t believe it” Roxy ran in front of Dirk, putting her hand on the stair rail. Bro put out his hand to still her, instead descending the stairs to meet her. He stood one step above her, turning to Dirk for an explanation of the excitement. Jane quickly joined Dirks' side, snuggling into him. </p>
<p>“Good evening, Father” Dirk started, speaking in a way that was so unnatural for him “Where did you-“ </p>
<p>“Oh skip the nonsense” Roxy interjected “Him and Jane are engaged!” </p>
<p>Bro tensed up, eyes widening and staring deeply into Dirk. It was uncomfortable, Bro so terribly hard to read. His stomach turned with anxiety. Could it be that his father would be unhappy with him as well? He hadn’t prepared himself for that. This anxiety was quickly cooled as Bro slowly smiled, a rare moment, even showing his teeth with a laugh of disbelief. He put out his arms and took Dirk and Jane into a hug, kissing the tops of both of their heads, Jane laughing sweetly. </p>
<p>“I can’t believe it! My oldest son” Bro said with great pride, pulling his hands back and holding his jaw. He grinned, looking back up the stairs and pulling away. “Have you told your mother?” </p>
<p>“Yes, she was the first one” Dirk answered, the men sharing a tense glance that broke the moment for a few  seconds, Bro looking away and calling over a few palace staff. Dirk could point out Nepeta, but Bro didn’t know any of their names. </p>
<p>“Spread the word of Dirk and Jane's engagement, this is an occasion that calls for celebration!” Bro cheered, Nepeta shooting her head over to Dirk, mouth hanging open in an intense smile. “Hurry, I want everyone to know before dinner—I have so many letters to write…” </p>
<p>“Please, father-” Dirk tried to protest.  </p>
<p>“Don’t say anything” Bro stopped him “You deserve to celebrate, you as well my darling” He waved Jane over into another embrace “My future daughter-in-law, you will look stunning painting on the walls of my castle” </p>
<p>Bro gave Dirk one last hug, grinning, and parting from the group mumbling about all the things he still needed to do. Dirk watched him the whole way before turning back to Roxy with his own smile. He was so happy that his father was proud of him, and he even found himself glad to share the moment with Jane. </p>
<p>“I’ve never seen him so happy!” Roxy cheesed, taking her brother's arm and squeezing. </p>
<p>“Me either…” Dirk mumbled fondly. </p>
<p>It didn’t take long at all for everyone in the castle to be informed, and soon the whole kingdom would be too. It was incredibly exciting, and Dirk pushed his anxieties to the wayside to just enjoy his happiness. It was impossible to think that something he’d worked for since he was a child was coming true. He had Jane picked out for years, and he always knew he’d end up marrying her. He never had any other options. </p>
<p>He had done Dave a favor in the end, no legally recognized prince could marry a man, but a traitorous one could. Dave wasn’t as strong as him; He was unable to marry a woman regardless of his true feelings. He would sooner down a vile of arsenic then not marry for love, because he was dramatic in that way. Dirk didn’t have that problem. </p>
<p>Tea would be special tonight, in the vein that it would finally be happening again after so long. Dirk had parted from his company a while ago to change, but he had nobody to write to, so he would find Jane and keep her company until Bro called them. He had found her somewhat more bearable recently, and even liked to be with her. He never expected that, but he was hopeful that his marriage wouldn’t be completely loveless as he had originally dreaded. </p>
<p>Her room was being organized, seeing as they would share a room after they were married, everything being put together so it was easier to move. Dirk walked to her room, stepping lightly once he heard talking. Dirk put his hands on the door and pushed it agar, peeking in to see who might be with her. </p>
<p>It was only John, Dirk saw. </p>
<p>He was standing, leaning over to be at her level, Jane writing and chatting with him. John had been on Dirk’s mind a lot lately, and how much of a threat he posed to Dirk in the grand scheme of things. He considered simply throwing him out once he was King, but if Jane was fond of him, then that may no longer be an option. He hadn’t liked the idea anyways, nervous of what would happen to him without the protection of Russian reinforcements. </p>
<p>He paused to enter, listening. </p>
<p>“I still think he’s angry with me” Jane said, pausing her writing to look at John. “He hasn’t written to me since he got home, but i’ve received two letters from my younger sister… He’s never casted me out like this.” </p>
<p>“Was he mad when he left?” John questioned</p>
<p>“I couldn’t tell… he’s been pretty unhappy about my entire engagement” Jane sighed “Do you remember, the night at dinner?” </p>
<p>“I do, does he not like Dirk? Or does he not want you to get married at all?” John pushed, Jane handing him her letter to look over. </p>
<p>“I think both… he expressed that he didn’t trust Dirk, but he’s never been that reliable” Jane claimed “He claimed that Dirk would be unfaithful, he said Dirk didn’t love me...I think he was only trying to hurt me.” </p>
<p>“Why don’t you trust him?” </p>
<p>“Jake didn’t want to be king, he never wanted to be king, and he used to love my company. I think he hates Dirk because Dirk is taking that away? That's only my suspicion…” </p>
<p>Dirk shifted uncomfortably at the mentions of him, doing a rather good job and not thinking about Jake. He was an uncomfortable subject for Dirk, but he was interested in the conversation, and didn’t want to intrude just yet. </p>
<p>“What are you gonna do? Have you been writing to him?” John questioned, placing the letter back on her vanity, Jane picking up her quill “Besides now?” </p>
<p>“Yes! A few times, I even addressed the lack of letters, but I didn’t want to bring Jade into it so I just stopped writing” Jane admitted with a frown. John crouched down, holding her shoulders and getting her attention, Jane looking down at him sadly. </p>
<p>“It’s hard to say, but you never get to decide when your family leaves you” John started, Jane hanging her head “Regardless if they leave on their own, or if death takes them away, it’s never our decision even when we really want it to be… it seems like Jake is lost in his own selfishness, and he may never come around, but another great thing about family is that you get to choose who belongs to it…” </p>
<p>Jane threw her arms around his neck, squeezing him close and laughing sadly. John hugged her back and rose, pulling her to her feet. Jane parted, rubbing her eyes and looking back down to her letter. </p>
<p>“I’ll invite him to the wedding, if he doesn’t show up, then I’m done trying to keep our relationship together” Jane insisted, nodding at John. </p>
<p>“I’m proud of you, Jane,” John smiled, removing his hands from her and suddenly looking and locking eyes with Dirk. He tensed up, cocking his head in confusion. Dirk pushed the door open, Jane smiling wide and approached him. Dirk kissed her head, still looking at John who was growing uncomfortable. </p>
<p>“Hello! What are you doing?” Jane chirped, smoothing out his shirt and looking up at him fondly. </p>
<p>“I came to keep you company until dinner, but I guess I was beaten to it” Dirk gestured to John, who chuckled nervously. “What are you doing?” </p>
<p>“Writing letters to my family” Jane answered happily, rosey cheeks and wide smile, guiding him to her vanity to review the same letter he had watched John read. Skimming it, Dirk could see it was a basic invitation, inviting her entire family to the palace with the news of her engagement. Dirk sighed, putting it back down and looking at Jane, who stared at him nervously. </p>
<p>The group didn’t have much time to talk before a soft knock came from the opened door, Nepeta standing there as if the three couldn’t see her. Dirk smiled, opening the door completely to answer her. </p>
<p>“Hello, your majesties” She bowed, counting them silently with her eyes “The king has called you all to the dining room.” </p>
<p>“Thank you, Nepeta” Dirk answered softly, Jane looking at him fondly whenever he showed kindness to children. Nepeta wasn’t much of a child, more of a young adult, but she behaved like one. </p>
<p>The three left the room, following Nepeta with idle  chatter, Jane seeming to have quite the friendship with John that Dirk had hardly noticed. He might serve well to pay more attention to what she was doing, but it didn’t really bother him. He should maybe be fearful that her loyalty was in question, and besides the fact that he didn’t care, he didn’t think she would have an affair with someone who resembled her brother in many ways. Jake looked very much like if John had been born in Europe. </p>
<p>Dirk rushed down the stairs as he saw his sister at the door, spinning around and holding out her dress, their father smiling and listening to her aimless nonsense. He approached them, Bro greeting him happily. It was uncomfortable to see his father so...chipper. Usually Dirk was unsure if Bro even liked him, or Roxy, or any of his siblings for that matter. Dirk would always be his father’s favorite son, but his favorite child was always Roxy. Dave wasn’t much competition, but Dirk had never loathed Roxy for his father's attention. </p>
<p>“What are you doing?” Dirk questioned, Roxy jumped into a straight up position before noticing who he was. </p>
<p>“Dirk! I was showing father my new dress” She started to twirl again, pointing her toes like a ballerina. Bro smiled at her again, clapping delightfully. </p>
<p>“You look lovely!” Jane complimented, catching up to Dirk with John. He looked down at his short fiancé, her lingers laced together as she rocked her head in rhythm to Roxy’s musicless dance. He was glad they got along so well, she worked as an excellent female distraction. John did as well, his interest in Roxy was originally concerning, but now Dirk had nothing to worry about. </p>
<p>Roxy wasn't brave enough to stand up to a tomcat, and married or not, she would never pose any threat to Dirk or his future. John seemed just as pleasingly docile, and whatever happened to his face must’ve humbled him severely. </p>
<p>Bro stopped the mini party, waving them into the drawing room to be seated. Everyone knew where they wanted to be seated, shuffling in and continuing their conversations. Roxy held John's hand and sat with him on the sofa, Jane sitting nearest to them on the matching armchair, and Bro took his seat on the opposite sofa to his sister. Dirk was uncomfortable sitting in this room, seeing as it was the same room he exposed his brother in. This seemed to all be an ignorant decision on Bros behalf. </p>
<p>“I’ve decided that tonight we should take time to celebrate Dirk and Jane's engagement, as a family” He spoke, awkwardly considering their family had done nothing but fall apart for a while. “It’s been a tough past couple of months, but I wish to make that up to you my children, and my guests.” </p>
<p>“Consider myself honored to be here with your family in this time of great need” Jane spoke exquisitely, never insecure in her wording. </p>
<p>Bro smiled at the woman fondly, well beyond approving of her. Dirk couldn’t have picked a better woman to make his wife, at least in Bros eyes. </p>
<p>“I remember when Dirk insisted he would never be married, do you remember that time he tried to run away?” Roxy giggled, grabbing Jane's attention. </p>
<p>“What?” she leaned forward</p>
<p>“Yes, Roxy had tricked him into thinking he had to marry a family friend of ours, so he wrote a farewell note and ran full speed into the forest” Bro shook his head, smirking “It took so long to find him, and we were so worried bears would get him” </p>
<p>Jane laughed, Dirk blushing in embarrassment. He remembered that day well, and how upset he had been. Dirk had run into the forest and parted from the beaten path to attempt to hide and had only gotten himself lost. The sun was setting and he was scared, and when he heard his father's voice he came running. Dirk had ruined his shirt and cut up his leg, but he never felt so safe in his life then when he was wrapped in his father's arms. </p>
<p>“Roxy ended up getting in more trouble then I did” Dirk elbowed her, Roxy agreed. </p>
<p>“Which was totally unfair in my opinion, Dirk was the idiot who ran into the forest!” </p>
<p>“He wouldn’t have done it if you hadn’t lied to him. He could’ve died!” Bro stressed, shaking his head. </p>
<p>“So be it” Roxy teased, Dirk opening his mouth in disbelief. It got Jane to laugh, so he tried to not take it personally.</p>
<p>The door was opened, grabbing the group's attention. Kanaya entered, bowing nervously and leading another woman Dirk didn’t know, pushing a cart. On the cart was a bunch of china, filled with tea for them to drink. Dirk didn’t care for tea, but he knew he could pawn it off on Jane to drink for him. “Ah! Kanaya” Roxy smiled, sitting up to greet her and take her cup. She offered her sugar, and Roxy always took 3. It was sickly sweet, and Dirk would rather drink the tartest cup of tea in the world then whatever Roxy liked. </p>
<p>“Where is mother?” Dirk asked, Kanaya hesitating as she passed him his cup. Dirk tried to take it but her hands stayed glued to it, the prince tugging gently. “Kanaya” he grumbled, but she stared at him with narrow eyes. She must be lost in thought, but her hands still gripped the warm cup with no relenting. </p>
<p>She had heard him say some incriminating things only a few hours ago, and he was starting to overthink everything he had said. Dirk couldn’t stand this woman, he originally had found her company pleasant, but recently things had changed. He knew why she had grown to hate him, but she had no proof to do anything about it. </p>
<p>He grabbed her wrist, standing, and ripping the cup from her grip. She was snapped back into reality too little too late, Dirk pushing her down on her knees. </p>
<p>“Dirk-“ Roxy protested, but he disregarded her. </p>
<p>“Are you stupid? Why are you staring at me?” Dirk spit, throwing his cup in her lap. Kanaya reeled back as the hot liquid spilled all over her dress, lifting the fabric off her legs and stumbling to her feet. “You’d think after so long you would have learned some manners-“ </p>
<p>“I’m sorry!” Kanaya claimed, Dirk not very convinced. She looked fearful, but he only trusted her as far as he could throw her. He knew that must’ve been the same scared expression she made for his father when she insisted she had nothing to do with Dave’s escape.</p>
<p>“Dirk stop it!” Jane grabbed his arm, pulling him away from Kanaya as she bowed her head and ran from the room, covering her face. The girl manning the cart called to her before nervously passing out the remaining cups of tea. “What has gotten into you?” </p>
<p>“There was no reason for that,” Roxy exclaimed, slamming her cup against the table. </p>
<p>“You have no idea what youre talking about” Dirk argued, both looking at their father in unison. He sipped his tea, glancing at the floor that was now covered in tea, up at the remaining maid, and back at the siblings. It was a cold look, and Roxy sat back defeated. Bro cared even less for the people in his employ then Dirk did, and he had done far worse for far smaller offenses to others. Their father was not a nice man, and Roxy had never grown to truly understand that. How could she claim to know that Bro would kill Dave upon arriving home, but acted astonished when Bro didn’t punish him for throwing tea at someone. </p>
<p>“You are unkind, Dirk,” Roxy continued, turning to face him. </p>
<p>“What point is there to be kind to someone who can’t demonstrate proper manners to the future king? She didn’t deserve my kindness” Dirk explained </p>
<p>“Kindness isn’t earned, jerk” Roxy scoffed, crossing her arms and slouching into the sofa. She pushed her tongue against her cheek, looking away. </p>
<p>“It is when you are going to rule the entire kingdom they live in, were you raised in the same place I was?” Dirk asked suddenly, scowling at her. </p>
<p>“I was raised the same as you and i’ve always respected the people who work there, especially people like Kanaya who’ve done so much for us! You can’t act like this-“ </p>
<p>“I can.” Dirk interrupted </p>
<p>“Well you shouldn't!”</p>
<p>“Wasn’t she just a suspect for Dave’s escaping only a few weeks ago?” </p>
<p>“That’s enough” Bro spoke up, but it flew over Roxy and Dirks heads, both siblings rising as to not lean over John anymore. </p>
<p>“She was proven innocent, why even bring that up?” </p>
<p>“Because you are far too kind, and you put up with way more than you have to from these people— I Know you find some of them annoying, and you have the power to stop them, and you never do.” </p>
<p>“There’s a responsibility that comes with that power, you of all people should understand that, Mr. Future All-Mighty-Ruler of the world” Roxy said with a mocking inflection, pushing him by his shoulder. </p>
<p>“You two, stop it” Bro interjected again, Dirk only glancing at him before ignoring him for a second time. </p>
<p>“You are immature, Roxy” Dirk stated, Roxy opening her mouth in astonishment “and you'll never get married if you act like a child for the rest of your life!” </p>
<p>“I do not act like a child, you just refuse to have any fun! You can't be nice to anyone, you can’t share, you can’t tell the truth, you can’t have friends-“ Roxy listed, counting on her fingers dramatically “how dare you criticize me when you don’t even act like a decent person, let alone a good one-“ </p>
<p>Dirk shoved Roxy so hard she stumbled, and once she balanced it was a full brawl. Roxy took him down easy, as she always did, punching him as hard as she could and pulling her face back. Dirk grabbed fistfuls of her hair, ripping her down so he could hit her, both of them shouting profanities at each other. He hated how easily she came over him, sitting on his chest and making him completely prone. He wasn’t fighting to win, but instead fighting to live, metaphorically speaking. </p>
<p>Dirk suddenly felt a rush of hot up his face, shock confusing him as he hit the carpet especially hard, the weight being lifted off his chest. He sat up too quickly, instantly lightheaded, hand shooting up to his nose to the source of the pain. Dirk swayed lightly, ears ringing as everyone started to shout around him, pulling down his hand to see it was covered in blood. His own, presumably. He felt the stream run over his lips as he removed the tourniquet, rushing to recover his nose. </p>
<p>“Look what you've done!” Bro shouted, Dirk too disoriented to know if Bro was talking to him or Roxy. </p>
<p>“Dirk, oh my goodness” Jane whined, her hand pressing into his shoulder and feeling heavier than it should, Dirk still completely dazed. Had she really gotten him this good? It didn’t feel broken, but he sure hoped it wasn’t. “Are you okay?” </p>
<p>“I don’t think he’s okay, Jane,” John answered, pulling Dirk to his feet and suddenly knocking him back into the present. Sound came back clearly, and he stumbled as he regained composure. </p>
<p>“Take him to the doctor” Bro ordered, John looking down uncomfortably, urging Dirk to allow him to hold him up. Dirk had no will to complain, although he wished one punch from his little sister didn’t put him out of it this bad. “Roxy, you stay behind with me.” </p>
<p>Dirk looked back at his sister, her hair disheveled and her arms crossed. He was pulled to the doctors quarters, hand now covered in his own blood, Jane whining about it getting on her dress. John had been rubbing it with a cloth to remove it, and Dirk didn’t remember when that started to happen. The doctor plugged up his nose, cleaning up his face, and forcing him to eat a small portion of bread. </p>
<p>“Dirk, how do you feel?” Jane asked nervously, reaching to pet his face affectionately. “Is your head still foggy?” </p>
<p>Dirk sat up suddenly, wondering when he had gotten to his bed. Jane jumped back slightly, reeling back her hand and looking at him nervously. </p>
<p>“Are you okay?” she asked, slowly retracting her hand to run it through his hair. </p>
<p>“I’m...I’m fine” Dirk insisted “I’m just confused…” </p>
<p>“You fell asleep in the doctor's chair, John helped carry you back to your room” Jane filled him in, sitting on the bed besides him, rubbing his face gently “Roxy feels just awful...She didn’t mean to hurt you.” </p>
<p>“I’m sure she didn't,” Dirk rolled his eyes, reaching up to touch the nose he was struggling to breathe from. It was still clogged with cotton, Dirk pulling them from his nose. His breaths were dry, and the white was stained with red, in the grossest way. Dirk put them on his nightstand, picking at the crusty blood on his nostrils. “What time is it?” </p>
<p>“About 8:30” she mumbled, pushing his hair from his face and kissing him. Dirk returned it, finding no reason to reject her affection anymore. </p>
<p>“I can’t believe Roxy hurt me that badly…” </p>
<p>“The doctor said it was more so the hitting of your head, and less of the nose bleed” she confirmed, talking with her hands in the way she always does. It was sweet, and he liked how expressive she was. Dirk had taken Roxy’s advice a while ago, finding that the more positively he viewed Jane, the more he grew to like her. He hoped one day this would manifest into the ability to love her. “Are you feeling any better?” </p>
<p>“I told you already-“ </p>
<p>“‘No, I meant your attitude” she asked, surprisingly crude. Dirk furrowed his brow, pouting his lip. He didn’t have time to argue before the door was cracked open. Roxy poked her head in, shying back as she realized Dirk was awake. He looked away, angrily crossing his arms and resting on his knees.</p>
<p>Roxy entered the room as Jane ushered her, standing up and offering her the spot to sit down. She had a small tin in her hands, shyly pushing it on Dirks lap. He opened it, revealing small little tea biscuits, Dirks favorite, and Jane smiled happily. She held one out to Dirk, who stared at it for a while. It was shaped like a flower, with raised edges, and incredibly dry. Dirk had no issue eating entire batches without tea, but Roxy wouldn’t even take a bite unless she had something to drink. He slowly reached out and took it, looking at Roxy as he accepted her apology. </p>
<p>Jane kisses Dirk one final time before giving them some privacy, going to take a bath. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry” she mumbled, acting like when they were children and Mom would force them to make up after dumb arguments. The crunchy blood around his nose made him harder to convince. “I shouldn’t have punched you, but you were being such an asshole!” </p>
<p>Dirk smiled at her sincerity, making grabby hands to receive another biscuit. </p>
<p>“And i’m sorry I made you bleed, that’s not what I wanted to do, but you were just being so mean and I was moving without thinking” She tried to articulate but she was just being honest, Dirk liking it better when she was just straight forward instead of dancing around her feelings “Like seriously, what is wrong with you lately? Treating Kanaya like that was so uncalled for…” </p>
<p>“I know,” Dirk admitted, surprising Roxy. She instantly became clearly suspicious, frowning at him. “It’s just that she was making me so angry, all week really, I just wanted to take it out on someone.” </p>
<p>“What is going on? You’ve been acting so differently since Rose passed and-“ </p>
<p>“They were my siblings, too.” </p>
<p>“What?” Roxy asked softly</p>
<p>“They were my siblings, too, and no one seems to give a shit about that,” Dirk expressed, his language surprising Roxy. “I was blamed for both of their deaths by my own mother, how do you think that feels?” </p>
<p>“I guess I didn’t-“ </p>
<p>“Didn’t think about it? Yeah, no one did.” Dirk said harshly, biting into his biscuit, Roxy rubbing his leg from over the blanket. </p>
<p>“You just...you…” </p>
<p>“You do blame me a little, don't you?” </p>
<p>“No! There’s no way you could’ve prevented Roses-“ </p>
<p>“I’m not talking about Rose.” </p>
<p>Roxy fell silent, the two of them staring intensely at each other. It was hard, and heavy, and Roxy didn’t need to say anything for Dirk to get the message. He shook his head, lip quivering angrily, looking down. Dirk didn’t understand why it hurt so bad for Roxy to blame him rightfully for a crime he did commit. She was ignorant to what he had truly done, but his sister wasn’t an idiot. Roxy didn’t need to be a scholar to understand the malicious nature inside of her brother. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry, this is unfair,” Roxy said, slouching and rubbing her face in stress. She was gonna form wrinkles if she kept that up. </p>
<p>“It’s okay-“ </p>
<p>“You never treat me badly, you are so nice to me” Roxy continued, Dirk accepting the flattery “and I do nothing but blame you for mistakes you can’t ever undo… what’s the point?” </p>
<p>Dirk didn’t answer, keeping the soft, victorious, smile on his face. He was sure he had complete control over this blonde princess. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry I punched you” she repeated, smacking her thighs and sitting back up “but you can’t get in the habit of attacking servants, especially as the future king!” She insisted, still grumpy at him over it. </p>
<p>“I won’t, I swear” Dirk put out his hand, offering his pinkie to her. She giggled, locking them together, and giving their hands a good firm shake. “I should apologize to Kanaya…” </p>
<p>“Your stubborn ass? Sure” Roxy teased, standing up. </p>
<p>“I have a lot of willpower” Dirk played along, looking at her as she stood above him, resembling their mother so strikingly. She was softer, kinder in the face, but you could still point out their very similar features. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry” She said one last time, walking to the door and putting her hand on the wood, turning back to him. “I love you.” </p>
<p>“I love you more,” Dirk smiled, watching her leave. He meant it, and he rarely did, but he really did love Roxy. </p>
<p>He picked up the cookie tin, sliding it on his nightstand next to his blood soaked cotton, shimmying down under the blankets and snuggling into the cool silk. He started to doze off, falling between consciousness, brought back only to the waking world as a cool hand caressed his back. He jumped, looking over his shoulder to see Jane had joined him in bed. They had never slept together before, and he was certian they were prohibited from doing so until the wedding bed, but he wasn’t one to really care for stupid traditions like that anyways. She smelled good, like a refreshing field of flowers, and her short hair was still slightly damp. Nothing that would drench his pillowcases or anything.</p>
<p>She lied facing him, the blanket just over her hips, her nightgown loose and revealing her cleavage. Jane was well endowed, with a large chest and wide hips. She would make such a perfect mother. She was the ideal Russian wife, especially for a king, and he had to admit that even if he lacked the capability to be attracted to her in the traditional sense, he could admire her aesthetically. There was just something about curvy women, especially Jane. </p>
<p>Her eyes opened slightly, peaking at him, smiling and cuddling into his chest. Dirk had no idea if she had intentions of sleeping with him tonight, but he had no complaints either way. It was almost nice to have someone in bed with you. </p>
<p>He gave in, putting his hand on her hips and pulling her closer, slowly moving his hand down to play with the rising trim of her nightgown. She pressed herself into him, Dirk getting a sweet whiff of her hair, drawing him in. He could love her, maybe he could really love her. She had gorgeous blue eyes, and plump shoulders, and her lips were full and made her even more attractive. Jane had an alluring laugh, and a very captivating accent. Her long rambles and obsessive chatter had stopped being annoying, and almost became charming, and Dirk even found himself blushing when she would talk nonstop. </p>
<p>Dirk slipped his hand into the nightgown, sliding his fingers towards the warm inner of her thigh, making her wiggle softly. He pressed his face into the crook of her neck and kissed slowly, letting his instincts guide him. </p>
<p>Who was there to stop him, anyways?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A scandalous ending ;) How are you feeling about the story so far?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. a Wedding and an Argument</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A sweet chapter all from the perspective of Jane as she deals with the days leading up to her wedding, her wedding, and the aftermath.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay so WOW this one feels like it took forever! This was so soft to write, especially from my lovebird Janes perspective, so I hope it’s fun to read!</p>
<p>Also now is as good of a time as any to admit that this kingdom is shamelessly based completely on the Barbie: Princess and the Pauper movie castle. The old movies literally had the best castles. And, at the end when Jane is in bed, I could not get that scene from The Little Mermaid out of my head... that bed looked so comfortable. Lots of a cartoon inspo LOL</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jane looked around at the women surrounding her, tugging on her dress and making hand sewn adjustments, lifting her arms as instructed to stay out of their way. A woman stood behind her, Jane able to see herself in the mirror, putting veils over her head to gain an opinion on her favorites. Jane couldn’t pick, because every option was so beautiful. </p>
<p>“It’s such a tough decision” Jane whined, reaching for the two she was indecisive on. She held each one up, posing with one to check, and then the other, sighing in frustration. “What do you think?” </p>
<p>Kanaya put a hand to her chin, looking between them both and holding the excess fabric of the train in her arms. “I’m not sure, your highness, they are both so beautiful” she took them back, gently placing them on the table before continuing to hem the trim. She was almost done, but it looked like tedious work. </p>
<p>Dirk had been very unkind to Kanaya, but Jane liked her very much. She was funny and very feminine, and Jane liked a woman she could get along with well. She did understand that Dirk had a poor impression of her, especially considering she was accused of being involved with his brother’s disappearance, as she understood it. </p>
<p>“Oh, Dirk would know…” Jane signed, raising her arm again as the woman tightening the waist nudged her politely. “He’s so honest with me.” </p>
<p>“You’ll look stunning in them all, your grace” The third woman insisted, Jane just learning her name to be Aradia. She had seen her a few weeks ago during the tea incident, but she had only just met her. Aradia was currently fitting a shoe, making it perfectly comfortable for the future queen. That title still haunted Jane, and the responsibility of such a role was also weighing in on her. She currently had so much on her plate. </p>
<p>Worst of all, Jane was terrible at keeping secrets. She wished to tell everyone she saw every little thing she wasn’t meant to, especially when Dirk was the topic of discussion. It sat on the tip of her tongue, like it was trying to escape, but she refused to let it out. </p>
<p>“I haven’t heard back from my brother” Jane told them sadly, looking at the cuff of her sleeves. This gown was so pretty, and she couldn’t wait for Dirk to see it. </p>
<p>The sleeves were off her shoulder, which was unusual for her, but standard for Russian attire. It had big puffy sleeves that stopped at the middle of her upper arm, a separate skin tight silk designed to hug her arms all the way to her palm; To achieve a sleek elegance, it would be sewn on the day of her wedding. They hung down as of right now, tied with ribbon to keep them up and away from the seamstress. The skirt was wide, ball gown adjacent, but it was loose and long to be worked on without the hoop and petticoat. She was excited to see it completed, but not excited to see how heavy it was gonna get. It was already stressful on her back, but it was nothing she couldn’t handle. </p>
<p>She picked up the skirt, getting her hands swatted at again, as the door cracked open. Aradia jumped in front of her and put out her arms dramatically, trying to cover her incase Dirk was breaking the one rule put in place for him. It wasn’t him, however, Aradia wiping her dry forehead dramatically in relief as Roxy poked her head in. “Oh! Sorry, I should’ve knocked!” </p>
<p>She slipped in, careful to not open the door too far, and gently closed the door. She looked back at Jane with glittering eyes, cherishing her. </p>
<p>“You look incredible… and you aren’t even done!” </p>
<p>“Oh, You’re just being nice” Jane blushed, Roxy taking her hands and smiling up at her, seeing as she was elevated. “What are you doing?” </p>
<p>“Coming to see you of course! I thought, well if Dirk can’t see her, then I can, as your future sister in law I’m just so excited for the wedding” Roxy said the last bit in a sing song voice, seeming to be genuine. She was kind, and probably put in the most effort to make Jane comfortable in her new home. She loved Roxy. “And I’m so glad I came! You could get married like this and still look absolutely beautiful!” </p>
<p>“Well you can’t thank me, the dress does most of the work” Jane looked down at the seamstress, who blushed and hid her face to continue sewing, Kanaya peaking over periodically to make sure she was mocking the stitch correctly. “But thank you Roxy, I need to learn to accept a compliment…” </p>
<p>“You do!” </p>
<p>“Where is John? Wasn’t he with you?” Jane pushed out her bottom lip, lifting her elbow way up as the woman started to knot the stitch and didn’t want to prick her. Roxy looked down nervously, smile wavering. “What?” </p>
<p>“Well, Dirk and my father got into a rather big argument, I wasn’t allowed to be a part of, with my mother…my father insisted that John help him take care of a few things and stole him from me” Roxy twiddled, Jane getting her own look of nervousness. </p>
<p>“He’s so helpful!” She tried to lighten the mood, but it was painfully obvious she was keeping something from Roxy. She was, after all, keeping something from her. Jane knew exactly what Dirk had said to his father, knew exactly what the argument must’ve been about, and she knew why Roxy had yet to be told. Jane was giddy with nerves, shuffling on her feet so much Kanaya nudged her grumpily, trying to keep a steady stitch. Jane bit her tongue, trying desperately to not look so guilty of something. </p>
<p>It was hard, especially for her. To see Dirks face, to imagine Bros, to block out Moms. Now, she looked at Roxy, who was deeply suspicious of her. </p>
<p>“Is everything… okay?” Roxy questioned</p>
<p>“Yeah! Whatever do you mean?” Jane rubbed the back of her neck, laughing awkwardly. </p>
<p>“You just seem uncomfortable since I mentioned the fight? Did you know about it?” </p>
<p>“I knew...um… that it was gonna happen” Jane spoke vaguely, poking out her foot so Aradia could try to put the shoe on her; It was still too large. She grumbled, starting to smack it again. </p>
<p>“You did? Why? Did you cause it?” </p>
<p>“Sorta!” Jane said, curling her lips together in regret. </p>
<p>“What? Oh no, is it about the wedding?” Roxy pressed in concern, putting a few fingers to her mouth. Jane shook her head no, dropping her skirt as Aradia decided she had a lot more adjusting to do. </p>
<p>“No! Not at all… Dirk hasn’t really told me how his mother feels about the engagement” Jane tried to distract herself and Roxy at the same time, but it didn’t work. Roxy squeezed her hand, continuing to prod. </p>
<p>“Then what was it about? Oh please fill me in” Roxy pouted “I can always trust you for gossip!” </p>
<p>“It’s not like our gossip, i’m really not meant to tell you!” </p>
<p>“So what? who cares what those stuffy men think!?” </p>
<p>“It’s bigger than that-“ </p>
<p>“Jane! bigger than me?” </p>
<p>“Yes! way bigger. It was a stupid mistake and-“</p>
<p>“Did you break something valuable? Or did mom catch you with something of Dave’s? Oh god that would be bad, is that-“ </p>
<p>“I’m pregnant!” Jane suddenly blurted, gasping and covering her mouth. The room fell void of any noise, Roxy’s mouth falling open and her eyes wide like dinner plates. The pounding of the shoe mallet stopped, the tugging of fabric, and the pacing of feet behind her stilled. In the mirror she could see the surprised face of Kanaya as she made eye contact with Aradia, who was clutching her mallet. The seamstress looked frozen as she held the needle in the air, unmoving. Roxy’s jaw trembled, like she meant to say something, but didn’t. Or couldn't. </p>
<p>“You… you aren’t-“ she struggled </p>
<p>“I know” Jane revealed her embarrassment, hiding her face with a sob “It was a mistake!” </p>
<p>“Why didn’t they want me to know?” </p>
<p>“They were gonna tell you later, after me and Dirk shared our wedding bed…” Jane blushed </p>
<p>“Why…” Roxy put up her hands, trying to form a sentence, her surprised face coming to a smile “Why did they think I’d care? I… I don’t care!” </p>
<p>“W...what?” Jane asked quietly, the women working on her dress looking between each other in shock. </p>
<p>“I don’t care! I’m…. I'm so happy for you!” She suddenly squealed, jumping and flapping her hands. She danced in a little circle, tears welling in Jane's eyes. She didn’t care? Roxy wasn’t mad? “I’m so excited to meet them… All the different names to think of! and to think of all the pretty dresses it can wear! I sure hope it’s a girl.” </p>
<p>Jane wiped her eyes, sniffing and smiling. </p>
<p>“I do too!” </p>
<p>“Excuse me girls-“ Roxy mumbled, hugging around Jane's hips and nuzzling into her stomach, seeing as she was off the ground, Jane bending down and hugging her back “Oh my gosh! You’ll be lucky If I don’t steal her away every chance I get!”</p>
<p>“No way! If I'm lucky, she’ll be attached at my hip! I’m so surprised that you aren’t angry…” Jane clasped her hands, Roxy making a noise of dismissal. </p>
<p>“What am I, 50?” Roxy jokes, getting Jane to laugh “I get like tradition or whatever, but i’m more surprised that Dirk...erm…” She blushed, laughing, and covering her mouth to look away. </p>
<p>Jane was embarrassed to think about it too, swatting at her playfully. “Don’t talk about it!” The woman working on the dress got back to it, Kanaya putting the veils back around and into Jane's hands, the princess looking down in confusion before gasping. “Oh! I need help deciding-“ she modeled them again, putting the veils against her head. </p>
<p>“This one, of course!” Roxy exclaimed, stealing one from her hands to look over it. “I love the lilies sewn into the bottom, it’s so delicate!” </p>
<p>“I love it too, thank you” Jane was very happy, dropping the unchosen veil to the floor, Aradia picking it up and returning it to Kanaya. She watched as Roxy circled her, looking at the dress and quietly complimenting Kanaya hand stitching, coming back around and nodding. “What are you doing, silly?”</p>
<p>“Just admiring how beautiful you look in this dress!” </p>
<p>Jane laughed, face turning red, the seamstress giving up as Jane stepped down from the podium to shove Roxy playfully. She turned quickly, embarrassed by her restlessly, Kanaya trying to keep the needle in her hand from snapping as Jane moved around. They put her back in place, Roxy shielding herself from blame. </p>
<p>“Roxy, could you possibly distract her in a less physically demanding way?” Kanaya implored, Aradia giggling. Roxy put her hands on her hips, rolling her eyes. </p>
<p>“She’s gotta stretch her legs!” </p>
<p>“She can stretch her legs when the dress is done” Aradia presented the shoe again, Jane hiking up the skirt to slide it on. It was a perfect fit and a great feeling overwhelmed her. Everything was finally coming together, and she’d be married before she knew it. </p>
<p>And indeed, the day came way faster than Jane had prepared herself for. It was a few days of fittings, lots of adjustments to the catering arrangements, obsessive writing, and a lot of awkward conversation with Dirks father. It was a lot for one princess to balance getting married and preparing to be the future queen, and the stress was really starting to get to her. Dirk insisted that all of her worrying was bad for the baby, a topic he had become incredibly standoffish about, but it had some truth to it. </p>
<p>Worst of all, Jake had never written her back. The day before the wedding she looked through her mail one last time, and then Dirks, and then Roxy’s, to no avail. She spent the morning crying, completely torn apart by the fact that her longest friend, her own brother, could completely disregard her. She found solace in her newest friend, John, whom she had found quite likable. </p>
<p>She must admit that she saw her brother a little in him, but John was a far better listener. They sat in her room, so empty of her things as they were being moved, only her blankets and pillows on the bed. Jane had tried her hardest to not bother Dirk, especially since his impatience was through the roof, and the last thing she wanted to do was make him angry at her. So she turned to John, something she had been doing a lot. </p>
<p>“Is it unreasonable to think he might’ve only married me to win this silly family tradition of his?” She asked, turning to face John from the window. She had been watching the clouds roll in, August finally coming to an end. September would bring lots of rain, and if Dirk wasn’t jumping the gun, lots of snow too. It did seem to get colder and colder everyday. </p>
<p>“I don’t think so, Roxy tells me it meant a lot to him” John was honest, and that’s what Jane really needed. She didn’t like to hear it though, frowning and turning to look back out the window. “Do you think he loves you?” </p>
<p>“Of course, I know he loves me” Jane said with certainty, if she didn’t know anything, that was the one thing she was sure of. No one could make up the love Dirk showed her. “but could he only have started to love me once he already secured me?” </p>
<p>“Then would it matter?” John looked up from his lap, fixing the necklace she had snapped while taking off her dress. Dirk had told her specifically not to wear it until the wedding day, but she had forgotten to remove it after her fitting. The only person she felt safe telling was him, because he was rational enough to not kill her, and his hands were delicate enough to fix it. </p>
<p>“I suppose not… but it still consumes me” She admitted, standing up straight as John came up behind her, lacing the necklace around her neck and clipping it. He let go, and much to her relief, it caught on her neck and stayed there. </p>
<p>“Good as new” John said quietly</p>
<p>“Oh, thank you!” Jane exclaimed, turning to embrace him. John wrapped his arms around her neck, undoing the necklace and taking it as she pulled away. He returned it to its holder, neatly placing it so it looked how Dirk had left it. “now he won’t even be able to tell.” </p>
<p>“I’m sure his anger would’ve been empty if you had told him, Jane, he’s marrying you for a reason isn’t he?” John returned to her side by the window, pulling back the curtain so they could both see outside. </p>
<p>“It wouldn’t matter if it was empty, it would matter that he was angry with me at all” Jane didn’t expect him to understand “he’s had such a short temper since we started planning the ceremony, I swear he’s avoiding me.” </p>
<p>“Even if he is, once the stress is over, you’ll have your Dirk back I'm sure” John comforted, so pretty from the side like this. Maybe Roxy was on to something, Jane only a little embarrassed to think like this. She was spoken for after all. Jane wasn’t too worried about her childish crush-like feelings for John, seeing as she had no real romantic attachment to him. That didn’t stop him from being handsome. “Plus, if being King really means that much to him, he’ll be much happier after his coronation” </p>
<p>“That’s if it happens” Jane pouted, catching a confused look from John “Derek- um, his majesty I mean, he’s reconsidering if Dirk should be crowned immediately after his wedding…” </p>
<p>“Why?” </p>
<p>“Says he’s too young, says he’s not old enough to pass on the crown, I guess they do that differently too…” Jane shook her head, this family over complicating everything “It’s not a death thing, not always.” </p>
<p>“Dirk is only twenty, isn’t he?” John asked, raindrops catching his eye as they started to hit the window. </p>
<p>“Twenty-one in December” Jane answered, putting her hands on the window seal, feeling the distant rumble shake the wood. </p>
<p>“Do you think that could be the reason he’s so angry?” </p>
<p>“I know it is” Jane frowned “That’s why i’m so worried” </p>
<p>“Jane, you can’t let him worry you” John turned to face her, putting out a hand to hold her shoulder “Just focus on your wedding, you’ll kill yourself with all that stress.” </p>
<p>“I know” Jane reiterates “but that's easier said than done. I have all of that to worry about, and i’m worrying about my own family…” </p>
<p>“I’m sorry Jake didn’t write to you” John said simply “but he’s losing an amazing future with you, I'd give anything to have that with my family, it’s his loss.” </p>
<p>“Not to sound selfish, but I’m so glad you're here.” </p>
<p>They shared another hug, Jane letting out the breath she’d been holding, pulling back but keeping her hands on his waist. He was so comfortable with affection, and it was a nice emotional rival to her fiancé. A burst of lightning lit up the sky, both of them jumping as it was followed by an intense boom. Jane put a hand on her chest and they started to laugh. </p>
<p>She needed to thank him for being there for her more often than she did. And he would be there for her in the coming day, waking her as the sun had barely started to rise. When had she laid down? What hour was it?</p>
<p>He was still in his pajamas as they walked the hall together, Jane yawning with a stretch, looking out the windows to see the sun wasn’t even over the horizon. The sky had that hint of blue to it yet, and the castle was still very awake. A few maids were lighting the candles in the hallway, waving to her and wishing her luck for her wedding day. </p>
<p>John walked her to the fitting room, seeing the familiar faces of Kanaya and Aradia, whom she had grown quite familiar with. He parted from her to be changed himself, the girls disregarding their sleepiness to happily chatter about their excitement. Jane, especially. It only took her a few yawns and eyerubs to fully realize what day it was, unable to stop talking once they got her going. She was sewn into her dress like a children’s doll, those sleeves she had found annoying, finally stylish as they were snug to her wrists. Jane was laced up so tight it made her nervous, but Kanaya insured her it was safe. The dress was just as gorgeous as they had sworn it would be, and as they placed the veil gently on her head, she looked at herself in the mirror with shock.</p>
<p>She looked beautiful. </p>
<p>It was adorned in so much jewelry and beads she was surprised she could stand, the gold trimming and accenting on her chest was extravagant and made her look expensive. The many layers of the skirt created so much volume, the train all the way to the door, Jane prayed Dirk would like it. If he found her so alluring in only a nightgown, she’d love to see how he felt about all of this. </p>
<p>“Wow” a sweet voice from behind her spoke, Jane quickly turning to see Roxy, who had her hands over her mouth with a big smile. She looked just as good as Jane did, wearing a dress almost as pretty as her own. </p>
<p>“Roxy! How did you sleep?” She approached her happily, her thinly socked feet cold against the ground. </p>
<p>“I slept great, way better than I expected” Roxy giggles, but quickly derails “I can’t believe my eyes, just, wow!” </p>
<p>“Oh be quiet! You look gorgeous-“ </p>
<p>“This isn’t about me! No more” Roxy smiled, waving at her dismissively “You know, you can receive a compliment without returning one?” </p>
<p>“I suppose…” </p>
<p>“Ah! I’m here for a reason,” Roxy put up a pointed finger “Not that I wouldn’t have come, but…” </p>
<p>She retreated into the hallway, Jane waiting to see if she was meant to follow. Roxy returned shortly with two things in hand, Kanaya quickly at her side. She handed her something but Jane's attention was called too quickly for her to know what it was. The same necklace her and John had a conversation over was then placed against her neck, cold with no use. She put a hand to touch it, still blushing as she was allowed to wear it. It was once his mothers, Dirk told her. </p>
<p>The second gift was far more important, Jane instructed to close her eyes, and she complied. It didn’t take a scholar to know what was happening as a weight hit her head. She was guided gently in her blindness, opening her eyes to see the most beautiful crown her eyes had ever taken in. Covered in a million jewels, shining as the light reflected on it, and sat snuggly with her veil. Her mouth fell open, a hand shooting up to touch it, to confirm it was real. </p>
<p>“Is this…” Jane couldn’t speak, her mouth dry. </p>
<p>“The queen's crown! Well, your crown!” Roxy cheesed, squeezing her shoulders and hugging her from behind. </p>
<p>“No, this can’t be serious, take this off my head before we get in trouble!” Jane ordered, but Kanaya and Roxy only shared a laugh.</p>
<p>“It was my father's wish, for you to wear it!” Roxy laughed “So, you have to!” </p>
<p>Jane looked back at herself in shock, running her fingers over the jewels, tears poking at her eyes. She felt so welcome with the crown on her head, and somewhat powerful. It completed the outfit in the most perfect way and she finally felt ready. </p>
<p>“Thank you so much…” she said quietly, Roxy taking her arm and smiling at Jane through her reflection. </p>
<p>“Okay… I think it’s time we go, your majesties” Kanaya prompted, both girls looking at each other nervously. Was it already time? Was everything ready? Jane couldn’t believe that she was gonna get married today, and that she’d be married tomorrow. She hoped that Dirk was in a better mood. The only reason she wanted to cry on her wedding day would be from joy. </p>
<p>Her dress was checked one last time and they followed Kanaya's lead through the palace. It was empty, a few maids approaching her in glee and congratulations. Roxy suddenly left her side, running ahead to meet with John, Jane's dress too heavy to run as well. She picked up the skirt however, to move a little quicker. He held Roxy’s hands in his, the two laughing about something. Seeing Jane, his face glow with happiness. He grabbed her necklace and straightened it out. </p>
<p>“Are you excited?” John asked, Jane thinking it a stupid question. How couldn't she be?</p>
<p>“Of course! and nervous” she admitted </p>
<p>“It’s gonna be wonderful” he promised, the two of them being separated from her with final wishes. Jane waved to them and cheesed with glee, watching them disappear into the room. It was crazy to think only half a year ago she was entering this room for a funeral, and now she was entering as the bride. </p>
<p>She could hear speaking, lots of chatter, and she tried to focus, but her attention was called elsewhere. Jane turned to see Bro, approaching her alone, Kanaya backing away and bowing respectfully. Jane turned with a smile, bowing her head gently so as to not disturb the crown. He smiled, she had learned that was rare. “You look beautiful” he spoke softly, and it almost made her cry. Something about his approval seemed so important and special. </p>
<p>“Thank you! I’m very excited to be marrying your son!” She still spoke as if she needed to impress him, but she seemed to have done well enough already. He put out a hand to hold her shoulder, taking her hand and kissing it. She blushed, Jane sure hoped Dirk looked like Bro when he grew old. </p>
<p>He spoke with Kanaya briefly, his tone much less friendly then how he chose to talk with Jane, the tall woman just nodding along. Jane was surprised a woman so beautiful wasn’t royalty, or hadn’t become royalty. Her slender frame wasn't all that appealing in terms of baby making, but Jane found her incredibly attractive and even alluring. </p>
<p>Bro faced her again with a smile, Kanaya grabbing the handle to the door and looking at her as well. </p>
<p>“Are you ready?” </p>
<p>“Of course” She smiled, Bro pulling her to the doors, at a considerable distance so they could open without knocking them over. </p>
<p>It only took a few moments for them to be opened, the light from the room flooding to hit her face. It was the room in the castle with the most windows, and it was so bright at this time of the morning. Everyone in the room turned to face her, and she lit up red, looking over all the guests who came to see her wedding. It was decorated exquisitely with hundreds of flowers, live piano by the stage, and so many lit candles she hoped she didn’t get hot. Her eyes quickly found Dirk, so pretty as he faced away from her. Jane was surprised by the sounds of violins, unsure of where they were coming from, holding on a little tighter to Bros arm. She was almost stuck to the ground as Bro started to move, stalling for a second before walking with him. </p>
<p>Dirk then turned to look at her, from the podium, and she would have melted just because of his smile. Her mind clouded out the music and the people and the beautiful decorations as she looked at him. She was so in love. He looked so pretty in blue, a color he would never wear outside of the occasion, but it served his freckled skin well. He shuffled on his feet to face his whole body out at her, uncrossing his hands to wiggle into his gloves more comfortably. Only Dirk would fiddle so obviously at the altar. She was still lost in him though, feeling as if she was hovering across the ground. Her arm was let go and she floated up the steps without direction, as if she locked in place as she met him. Only now did she notice his crown, and it was somehow more magnificent than hers. Adorned in jewels and it looked heavy, shining so brightly it almost gave her snow blindness. Her eyes were fixed on his, however, and she wondered if she made him uncomfortable with how deeply she stared into them. </p>
<p>“You look beautiful” he complimented, but she’d heard it so much today she didn’t know if he meant it. The soft smile on his face was enough for her to believe it, though. She wanted to kiss him now, kiss him again and again, and ignore everyone here, but she restrained herself. </p>
<p>“So do you” She bit her bottom lip as she smiled up at him, cupping his cheek gently. Dirk took both of her hands into his as the priest started to speak, standing up straight and looking out at everyone. </p>
<p>The minister spoke loudly so everyone could hear him, and so Dirk and Jane would be quiet. “We are gathered here in the sight of God to join together this man, Dederick Margrave Kirillovich Lalonde II, the crown prince and earned heir of the Lalonde kingdom, and this woman, Jane Maryann English, the crown princess of Wessex, in Holy Matrimony. Into this holy estate these two persons present come now to be joined-“ </p>
<p>She mimicked him, having practiced the ceremony over and over, looking out at the crowd too. She recognized some faces from the many parties she attended at the palace, some from paintings, and a lot she didn’t know. Jane could easily spot John, and then Roxy, in the seats closest to her. Roxy was already crying, a big smile on her face. Although in vain, she did look out for a final time for her family. Her eyes went from face to face, looking for his thin framed glasses, jade’s wild hair, her grandmother's smile, anything. Jane was only disappointed, getting so lost in her search that her face fell neutral, a sadness overwhelming her. She half listened to the holy man, trying to be distracted by the comforting way Dirk was rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand, and the glimmering of her dress as the sun hit the train resting on the stairs. She had dreamed of this, but she couldn’t help but feel sorrow even on her wedding day. She had so much time to prepare for them to not come, why was she still so hung up over it?</p>
<p>Jane's excitement couldn’t be stilled at the idea of being his wife, but her loneliness was still present. Had she really had the choice between her family and Dirks and she didn't choose her own? The family who’s done nothing but be by her side? Was it fair to force her to make that choice? </p>
<p>She looked back at John, and his smile surprised her. Roxy was holding his hands, swaying gently with the music. John had noticed her staring, however, his smiling widening. As his cheeks pressed into his eyes, she noticed a tear roll down his cheek. Was he… crying for her? </p>
<p>Her shoulders slacked and her cheeks became warm, and she smiled back at him. John pulled a hand away from Roxy and gave her an affirming fist in the air, a “you've got this, i’m so happy for you” before wiping away his tears. She forgot about her brother in that moment, forgot about his disownment, forgot about the silent choice he forced her to make as he got into that carriage on that early morning. His glance that she had only a moment to decide between them, or Dirk, without sharing any words at all. She watched them ride away in regret, wishing for everything to just hold her sister's hand, or kiss her brother's cheek, to make sweets with her own palace maids, to see her home again. How everyday until just now she had wondered if anyone truly loved her, if Roxy would treat any woman her brother married with such kindness, if the staff was nice out of obligation, if Dirk or his parents even liked her. </p>
<p>John, though, John had absolutely nothing to owe her. </p>
<p>John wasn't her fiancé, John wasn’t a member of the royal family, and John wasn’t a servant. He was a guest, a man of a different culture, a kind person with nothing to gain from being kind to her. He just… was. </p>
<p>She was forced to make an impossible choice by her own brother, she was forced to cry for days as he knowingly refused her letters, and he even pressured her to break off her romance with Dirk. How could someone she love manipulate her in such a horrible and self serving way? How could it be that John had known her for such a little amount of time, and was still her closest and dearest friend. Jane’s eyes began to water as she looked at him, and she knew that in his heart he loved her, and she loved him. </p>
<p>“Jane” he said suddenly, and she noticed that in her dazed state she had missed all of the symantecs, and Dirk had to deliver his vows. She pulled her attention away from John, a new feeling of joy coming over her. She had picked her perfect family. “I have known you since I was a boy, young, and stupid, and mean.” </p>
<p>“You used to chase me around, and try and kiss me, even when I pushed you away” He said, getting a few quiet chuckles from the crowd. “I’ve always loved you Jane, even before I knew it, and I always will. You are like a gentleness I've never known.” </p>
<p>Jane stared helplessly into his eyes, mouth open with a smile, tears already rolling down her cheeks. He really must love her, he really, really, must. The genuine warmth in his eyes, the steadiness of his hands, the soft look on his face. She was overcome with so much happiness that she couldn’t speak, just nodding her head happily. The pause was long before she realized she needed to speak, standing up straight and laughing nervously, sniffing to regain composure. </p>
<p>“Dirk, I’ve been absolutely obsessed with you for as long as I can remember, and I've always raced to get you to notice me. I always waited for a response to my letters, and I’d get a little writing crazy, but you always showed me patience. You complete me, I’ll never be this happy again.” </p>
<p>Dirk's face went soft, and she swore for a moment she flattered him. It was hard to get Dirk to be genuine. Or maybe he felt embarrassed for all those letters he left unanswered, or all of her advances he left untreated. </p>
<p>“I ask you to repeat these marriage vows for the eyes of God, and for the church” The pastor told, Dirk looking at him first. </p>
<p>“I, Dederick Margrave Kirillovich Lalonde the second, take you, Jane Maryann English, to be my wedded wife, To love and cherish, For better or worse, for richer or poorer, In sickness and in health. From this day forwar-” </p>
<p>“I, Dederick Margrave Kirillovich Lalonde the second, take you, Jane Maryann English, to be my wedded wife, to love and cherish, for better or worse, for rich or poor, in sickness and in health. From this day forward.” Dirk recited it almost like he had been practicing, interrupting the pastor rudely. Jane wrote it off as excitement. </p>
<p>“And, your majesty” He faced Jane, who perked up. “I, Jane Maryann English, take you, Dederick Margrave Kirillovich Lalonde the second, for my wedded husband, to love and cherish, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. From this day forward.” </p>
<p>“I, Jane Maryann English, take you, Dirk- oh um, Dederick Margrave Kirillovich Lalonde the second, for my wedded husband, to love and cherish, for better or worse, for richer or poorerer-, In sickness and in health. From this day forward.” She smiled, Dirk letting out a short and quiet laugh, squeezing her hands affectionately. She was telling the truth, she would never feel this complete again. He completed her. </p>
<p>“May I receive the rings, in the name of the holy father” the minister reached to the side, Dirks father holding the satin pillow the rings had been placed on. His smile was wide and genuine, and his lack of wrinkles showed how little he did that. As she looked over, she realized that the obvious spot left for his mother was not full, and she looked around quickly to find her. Where was the queen? She wasn’t sitting, and she wasn’t where she was supposed to be… had she come? </p>
<p>Looking back at Dirk, his face hasn't changed, still as happy as he was. Maybe he simply didn’t care. Jane understood their relationship was strained. </p>
<p>“Dederick, I ask you to repeat these words. This ring is my sacred gift to you, a symbol of my love, a sign that from this day forward and always, my love will surround you, with this ring I thee wed.” </p>
<p>“Jane…this ring is my sacred gift to you, a symbol of my love, a sign that from this day forward and always, my love will surround you, with this ring I thee wed.”</p>
<p>The ring was handed to the groom, Dirk pulling up her hand gently and slipping the marvelous gold around her finger. It shimmered in the light, and she started to cry again. Jane was handed her own ring, replacing the gesture, Dirk even taking a moment to admire his own hand. Their hands were placed together once again by the minister. </p>
<p>“I now, by the authority committed unto me by God, in the presence of all those who attend, declare that Dederick and Jane are husband and wife according to the ordinance of God, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Those Whom God Has joined together, let no one put asunder.” </p>
<p>There was a small pause for any opposition, but the room remained silent, and Jane hardly noticed. </p>
<p>“May the peace and the unconditional Love of God surround you and remain with you now and forevermore. Amen. You may seal your vows with a kiss."</p>
<p>Jane had waited for this moment for weeks, stepping forward to close any distance, their hands cupped together as their lips locked. His lips were incredibly warm and soft with gentle care, the cool breath blowing from nose on to her as he visibly detensed. She wondered if he had been waiting for the kiss as long as her, his body more comfortably merging with hers. </p>
<p>“Allow me to present, Dederick and Jane Lalonde” The priest called, the guests erupting into clapping and cheering. Jane hugging Dirk, his father coming over to congratulate them. He kissed both of their faces, Dirk laughing and pushing him away. Roxy ran up the stage, dragging John along at full speed, embracing them both as she jumped around like an excited dog. </p>
<p>They all laughed and shared all the held in thoughts they'd been wanting to say to each other, Bro slowly pushing them down the stairs and back down the aisle, Dirk hooking his arm around Janes, pulling her as he laughed with his sister. John took her side, holding up her train so it didn’t get trampled by the many people filing behind them, reaching up and straightening her crown. They exited the door, passing through the castle as guests surrounded them, the front doors of the palace being opened by a few guards as they approached, Jane completely taken back by the courtyard covered in people. </p>
<p>The entire kingdom had come to see them, as was customary, but she was still excited. People leaned over the blocking to try and touch her hand, throwing flowers from the crowd, and shoving gifts at them that they were not allowed to take. She did wave at everyone she saw, Dirk gently helping her down the steps and to the carriage that was prepared for them. They would be taken down to the second level of the mountain kingdom, where an extravagant reception party would be held in their honor. Jane leaned out the window and caught flowers being thrown to her, Roxy squeezing in between her and Dirk, making him laugh. </p>
<p>“What, do you marry Jane?” He asked </p>
<p>“Oh I wish! You looked gorgeous up there” Roxy took a flower from Jane, sticking it behind her ear. She leaned out the door and waved for John to quickly join them, her father coming in behind him to close the door. </p>
<p>The carriage started to move, Jane still waving as they rode away, people following the carriage as it moved down the mountain, keeping an enforced distance by the guards surrounding the gondola. It was a gorgeous day, warm but with a bitter breeze, signifying the colder months approaching, the smell of flowers in the air. Roxy snuggled into her shoulder, hugging her arm and laughing with John across from her, kicking his leg. Dirk bent down to look at Jane from under Roxy, talking to her about the ceremony. This was the first time Jane had ever seen him so genuinely comfortable and happy, his smile wide and childlike. She still couldn’t believe this was her husband, looking down at her hand to confirm it over and over. </p>
<p>Pulling into the city she could see it was decorated for them, more people still in the streets, tossing petals and calling for their attention. The carriage arrived outside of a venue, the family piling out and running up the steps, Jane holding her skirt in fists so she could move swiftly. Up the steps they entered the building, a great event hall perfect for dancing. The walls were lined with tables covered in food and wine, and the guests of the wedding started arriving in their own carriages, the room filling up quickly. They barely had a moment to breathe before music started and Dirk took her hands and started to dance with her, spinning her around in her gown. It felt like a fairytale. </p>
<p>Watching his feet move was mesmerizing, surprisingly quick and nimble, acting so nonchalant like he wasn’t even trying. Dirk was always that way, so careless in the way he acted, Jane wondering if he was really focusing deep down. </p>
<p>Roxy quickly grabbed John, his face bright red like a tomato as they started to dance, weaving in and out with Jane and Dirk, switching partners and laughing. </p>
<p>Dancing with John was fun, but watching Roxy and Dirk be silly was heartwarming. Roxy stood on her tippy toes to twirl him, passing him back to Jane as he smiled at her. She felt like her emotions were too heavy to speak, so she had to dance it out. Excitement shook through her every time she saw Dirks eyes catch hers, anytime she glanced at her hand, whenever she thought about her new name. Jane Lalonde; It was perfect. </p>
<p>She felt so welcomed by his father, so loved by Roxy, so liked by the house staff. If Dirk didn’t care about his mother, then Jane didn’t care about her either. All she wanted to do was dance and be happy, so glad to finally be married to the love of her life. No more stress about her pregnancy, or her family, or if Dirk loved her. All she could think about was the music and the way he spun her, holding her hip lovingly and smothering her with kisses. </p>
<p>It was far longer than Jane thought her limit was, but soon they got tired. She leaned her face into his chest and begged him to come grab food with her, and he obliged, Roxy taking this opportunity to go with them. </p>
<p>Jane had been so hungry, only now as she settled down did she realize that she hadn’t eaten all day. She shamelessly shoved her face, Dirk warding off anyone who approached them in congratulations to give her some eating privacy. John and Roxy spoke quietly to each other, drinking, standing so close together that they clinked glasses. It was so romantic to watch them interact and Jane was excited to one day attend their wedding, although the details of their romance was so private it hardly seemed there. </p>
<p>Roxy lolled her head back to look at Jane, smiling and leaning into her shoulder “I’m so happy…” </p>
<p>“Me too! It feels like a dream” Jane huffed, taking a finger cake into her mouth, Roxy toasting her silently. “I’ll never be this happy again.” </p>
<p>“You deserve it” Roxy spoke sweetly, hugging her and keeping her glass up and away from her dress. “You really are very beautiful, Jane, the picture perfect Russian wife…” </p>
<p>Jane giggles happily, so overcome with joy. John budded in to the conversation, offering her a drink which she awkwardly rejected. All of them sharing a knowing glance before sharing a laugh. What an amazing group of people she chose to be her family. </p>
<p>They stood together as the hours passed, dancing on and off, and Roxy introducing Jane properly to long distance family. Everyone treated her respectfully and she hadn’t received so many compliments in her life. John stole her away to dance, and dancing with John was incredibly fun, especially since he didn’t dance like how European men did, so the two of them trying to learn the other one's style of dancing was so funny. John had a lot more practice then Jane but he did take any chance he could to playfully tease her. Dirk stole her away to talk with his father and his many sisters, Dirks aunts, and even some of his mother's family. She talked to lots of children, nieces and nephews-in-law that she would need to learn the names of over time. </p>
<p>Roxy stole her away most of all, to eat and sneak away to explore the strange building they had never been in. Jane’s dress was getting taxing, Roxy bunching it up in her arms to help her get around, neither of them able to stay serious. Roxy really did feel like a sister. Jane daydreamed about them wrestling over the baby, sewing her clothes and naming her something delicate and pretty. She wondered if she was blonde, would she look anything like Roxy? </p>
<p>“You look so tired” Roxy pouted as she dropped her skirt, the women finding their way back to the cheese and fruit platters. It was so irresistible. “You’ve had such a long day…” </p>
<p>Looking around the room, such an ambiance had been set, the sun having gone down. Could the day already be over? Had they been celebrating so long? Was her wedding day coming to an end already? The candles gave the room a golden look, and the dancing had become slow and romantic, more chatter and eating then dancing now, however. She grabbed a strawberry and bit into it, the juice escaping down her chin. Roxy put out her hand to stop a drip from hitting the white sleeves of Jane's gown, the two girls giggling. </p>
<p>“Thank you” Jane blushed, licking her bottom lip, Roxy leaning to grab a napkin to wipe her hand, cleaning her chin playfully. Jane swatted her away with a laugh, placing the stem back on the tray. </p>
<p>“Jane,” Dirk called to her, the girls looking up as he approached with his father. “What are you doing?” </p>
<p>“Eating” Roxy said it as if it was obvious, Jane smiling between them playfully. </p>
<p>“Have you had enough dancing for one night?” Bro asked her, reaching up to smooth her veil which had gotten wrinkled up in one of Roxy’s helping bunches. </p>
<p>“Oh definitely, my feet are killing me” she complained in good spirits, Bro nodding and ushering her to the door. He gave one last toast, saying many goodbyes as Dirk pushed Jane outside. </p>
<p>The couple approached their carriage, John and Roxy not far behind. The sounds of the night comforted Jane; crickets, silent streets, cool breeze. She yawned, Dirk catching it and covering his mouth. He helped her into the carriage, sitting next to her and snuggling into her. Jane was starting to dig this affectionate Dirk she had uncovered. </p>
<p>Roxy wasn’t far behind, John too, these two still a little hyper with laughter and chatter. Jane looked at her shoulder, Dirks eyes closed as he leaned against her, his breathing becoming heavier, indicating sleep. She reached to pet his hair, nuzzling into his head. </p>
<p>Bro came into the carriage, waving a goodbye to someone unbeknownst to Jane, shuttling the door. The carriage moved and the ride was comfortably silent, only John and Roxy sharing the occasional conversation. Up the mountain seemed to take longer, but once they got home, she shook Dirk awake gently. Jane left the carriage, holding her dress up and walking slowly, looking out over the courtyard. Flowers still laid abandoned on the stone, and in the grass, as well as along the road they had rode on. The doors were open, Aradia's friendly face awaiting her to offer her help changing out of her dress. </p>
<p>She followed tiredly, sad that her day was already over, but still happy. All the gifts left by the subjects were being checked, but the family's presents had been left unopened in their bedroom. Their bedroom, wow, she completely forgot. As Jane went out, the staff finished moving the prince and princess into their new room. It wasn’t Dirk or her room, but a completely new room on the King and Queens side of the palace. She was excited to spend her first night in it. </p>
<p>Approaching the fitting room, she sleepily stumbled upon the riser, heels being slipped off swiftly as she took the step up. </p>
<p>Jane let them free her, carefully cutting her out of the tight wedding gown. The weight off her shoulders was relieving, but she was sad to see the crown go. It felt like it was taking much longer to change out then it did to change into. The dress was carefully removed, drug to a mannequin, and pinned on as Jane was undressed. Her hair was combed out of its styling and they led her to the bathroom. </p>
<p>She happily took the warm bath they drew for her, though, nearly falling asleep as they washed her hair. She could get used to this treatment. She could see that Aradia was tired too, sad that they had to care for her before themselves, insisting she was ready to get into her nightdress and sleep. Jane stepped outside of the tub, squeaky clean and fresh, wrapped in a warm towel. Standing in front of the mirror, Jane checked her stomach to see if there were any changes. None yet, it had only been a few weeks.</p>
<p>She cozied up into her nightgown, barefoot, smooth, and warm, being escorted back to her new room. Jane didn’t make it far, quietly talking with Kanaya, as she saw Roxy around the corner. She smiled, running over and kissing her cheek, also barefoot. </p>
<p>“All ready for bed?” She asked cheekily, Jane nodding with a yawn. “I’ve got her Kanaya, no sweat.” </p>
<p>“Whatever you say” Kanaya smiled, putting up her hands and wishing them a goodnight before giving them privacy. </p>
<p>“It’s been such a long day” Jane whined, rubbing her eyes and ascending the stairs with Roxy. “I’m so excited to be married to him, really…” </p>
<p>“I’m so happy both of you have found love! I really never thought Dirk was capable of such a thing.”  </p>
<p>“Roxy” Jane started, with the inflection like she intended to ask a question. Roxy cocked her head as she was intrigued “How did you know John loved you?” </p>
<p>“Jane, me and John aren’t in love” She chuckled “he’s just my closest friend.” </p>
<p>“Oh please! Do you think i’m blind?” Jane teased with a laugh, Roxy blushing “Honestly, I can tell you love him.” </p>
<p>“Well even If I did, which I don’t because we are just friends, I don’t think he’d love me either” Roxy insisted “John doesn't need to like me, because I don’t want him to like me, i’m just happy to have… someone.”</p>
<p>“Sounds just like love to me” Jane smiled, leaning her head into Roxy’s shoulder as they walked. The expensive carpet of the castle was cold but soft against her feet, feeling like a tired baby as she walked alongside Roxy. It was another comfortable silence, the women just enjoying each other and the night they had. Jane was a little relieved that she shared herself with Dirk, because she was far too tired to commence a wedding bed tonight. A perfect sleepy cuddle would be amazing right now, however. </p>
<p>She truly felt like she had cracked the nutshell that was Dirks hard exterior, and released his softness. Daydreaming about their future of happiness, their future family, and their ruling side by side, became a whole lot happier knowing he truly loved her. She had no more doubts after tonight. </p>
<p>Jane perked up at the sounds of arguing, actively growing louder as she listened closer, Roxy looking at her in curiosity. They noticed it at the same time, slowing their pace as Jane tried to make it out. It was the hallway her room was in, Roxy shushing her and creeping to the corner, Jane following to peak around. It took seconds to realize that it was Dirk and his father, based on voices alone, but she had grown quite familiar with the back of her blonde husband's head. Nervousness consumed her, the last way she wanted to end this night was with an angry Dirk at her bedside. They were trying to stay quiet but Dirk had too aggressive of a temper to commit to that for very long. </p>
<p>It was almost funny to watch them fight, Dirk so expressive and emotional, throwing around his hands and applying so much turmoil in his voice. Bro, on the other hand, was still and cold, posture straight and shoulders stiff. Jane cowered away, but kept her eye peaked out to continue watching. Roxy had crouched down, looking around the corner under Jane, like a silly painting or play. </p>
<p>“Not my mother’s wishes? Fuck her!” Jane could make out, embarrassed by his foul language. </p>
<p>“Dirk, don’t you speak of her that way-”</p>
<p>“That woman didn’t even bother coming to my wedding, celebrating a tradition inherited from HER family, and you think I give a damn what she has to say? If I’m lucky she’ll be dead before my coronation even happens” Dirk spit, such a level of hatred that Jane didn’t even believe it was him. Roxy seemed tense, that cheeky smile she once had was now gone in favor of a nervous nibble of her lip. </p>
<p>It was surprising that Bro didn’t reach up and smack him right then, in fact, it was surprising that he didn’t beat him into the palace floor. </p>
<p>“You don’t understand anything, Dirk, you aren’t ready to be a king” Bro said, a waver in his calmness. </p>
<p>“Since when do you feel like that? You are letting her speak for you and it’s funny” Dirk called out, clearly saying what he could until the consequences caught up with him “You were so excited for me, why must you hate me too? Why do you both have to hate me?” </p>
<p>“I don’t hate you, your mother doesn’t hate you-“ </p>
<p>“She told me she hated me, she said to my face that she hated me. You are the one who doesn’t understand anything. You are an old man, YOU don’t deserve to be king!“ Dirk shouted, so loud that anyone could hear. </p>
<p>The breath Bro took in was sharp, arm tensing and Dirk instantly retreating into a flinch. It wasn’t an intense flinch, just a sudden jolt of his shoulder and the quick raising of his hand. Bro balled his hand into a fist and put it back to his side, looking down on him. </p>
<p>“Dirk you have had far too long to learn respect, when will you finally grow up and understand that good kings, good Sons, must make hard decisions. It’s for the best that you wait, it’s for Jane’s best that you wait.” </p>
<p>“I’ve waited my whole life, I'm not a child” Dirk demanded “How dare you treat me like this?!” </p>
<p>“You watch your mouth-“ </p>
<p>“No, fuck you! You’ll regret doing this to me, she’ll regret doing this to me! I wish you both would just die-“ Dirk exclaimed, but he’d finally crossed that unknowable line, unable to cover his face as Bro brought his hand down on him. </p>
<p>It wasn’t just a smack, the usual backhand he experienced from time to time, Bro grabbing his shirt to prevent him from backing away. He grabbed the fabric in a fist, beating his face ruthlessly. Dirk yelped in a genuine moment of pain, pressing his hands into his father's chest and buckling his knees to try and go down instead of back. </p>
<p>Roxy pulled away from the wall, backing away and pulling Jane to follow, insisting they should go and come back once Dirk was already in bed. Jane didn’t know what came over her, but she hardly listened to what Roxy had exactly said, running out from her hiding spot towards the two men. Roxy called her name, exposing herself and reaching to grab her nightgown to no avail. </p>
<p>She was so upset and betrayed, having liked the king very much so. Jane couldn’t believe this is how he would treat Dirk, ever, but especially on his wedding night. It was cruel, and Jane hated cruel. </p>
<p>Jane desperately got into the middle of it, Bro retracting his fists the second he saw her, trying to avoid all chances of hitting her too. Dirk stumbled backwards and hit the ground as he intended, covering his face and cursing, Roxy no longer hiding and running to his aid. Jane wondered how often Dirk really got hit by his family members, Roxy included. He was crying, but his mouth made no noise and he hardly breathed, Jane pushing Bro back in a moment of adrenaline. </p>
<p>“Don’t you touch him again!” She cried, Bro so shocked by her that he just stared. Jane didn’t pay attention to him long, turning back to her husband who was wiping his face on his white shirt. He pushed Roxy away by her shoulder, but he locked eyes with Jane in a moment of genuine… something.</p>
<p>“Father” Roxy came to him, Jane replacing her at Dirks' side, collapsing to the ground to be on his level. She turned to look at Jane with a frown, taking her father's arm and talking too quietly that she couldn’t hear them. He huffed, and she pulled him back down the hallway, only offering the newly weds a final glance. </p>
<p>Jane looked back to Dirk, who was breathing heavily to prevent himself from crying, putting her hands on his face to rub him tenderly. He instantly rejected this affection and she begrudgingly obliged to refrain from touching him again. Dirk's eye was swollen, but his face wasn’t bleeding. “Are you okay?” </p>
<p>“I’m fine, I’m okay” Dirk reassured her, making her feel much more comfortable. In that moment she no longer valued the king's opinion of her, only Dirk matters</p>
<p>“Why was he hitting you on your wedding night? That’s so mean” She whined, hands twitching with the need to feel his face, to kiss him better. “Your mother and father are both such angry people, I’m sorry.” </p>
<p>“Don’t apologize” Dirk sighed, scooping up her hand and lining up their fingers, bringing her hand to his face and spreading them out with his own. He rubbed the back of her palm and she melted with compassion, scooting closer on her knees so they were touching his. Dirk moved his hand but Jane did not, frowning so intensely it seemed to stir him. “Really, you shouldn’t worry. He’s always been strict-“</p>
<p>“That is not being strict! My nana is strict, my grandmother hit all of us only when we really deserved it. When we broke something expensive, or when we bullied each other, but she never did it like that! He wasn’t trying to discipline you, he was trying to hurt you!” Jane protested “Even Roxy was too scared to shift his anger, but he wouldn’t dare hit me!” </p>
<p>Dirk watched her speak, and surprisingly he seemed to actually be listening. He nodded, standing and taking her hands to help her up with him, grabbing each shoulder to her nightgown to straighten it out. </p>
<p>“Thank you, Jane, thank you for standing up for me” he said “You don’t worry a bit about me anymore, because I have a way with my father unlike my other siblings- well, my sibling. I’ll make sure this country has a queen who deserves her position, a queen like you.” </p>
<p>Jane blushed at such a grand compliment, standing on her toes to kiss him on the corner of his mouth. He surprisingly backed away, blinking at her in confusion. She put a hand up, Dirk quickly shaking away whatever he had on his mind and kissing her back. </p>
<p>“You should get ready for bed, you've had a longer day than even me!” Jane teased, pinching him and making him smile, holding her hand loosely as he walked to their door, opening it and stepping inside. He shook his head at the darkness, asking her to wait as he looked for something to light the candle with. She put her hand on the door, poking fun at him as he laughed, struggling to find anything in the dark.</p>
<p>“Let me look in the guest bedroom, stay put” he ordered half hearted, turning the corner quickly. It wasn’t long before her name was called from the other direction, Roxy approaching her. </p>
<p>“Jane,” she said softly, hugging her as soon as she was close enough. “I’m so sorry you had to see that, to even be near that!” she frowned, pulling away but still holding her shoulders. </p>
<p>“It’s okay! I’m glad to help Dirk whenever he might need me” Jane said, only aware after she said it that it could come off as a slight towards Roxy. “Not anything against you! My dear Roxy, I understand why you wanted to get me away.”</p>
<p>“To be honest with you, I'm incredibly embarrassed,” Roxy rubbed her face, sighing. “I love my brother, but it took you, one of the kindest people I know, to stand up to my father… not even I could help my own brother.” </p>
<p>“Don’t say that! It’s not so simple as that” Jane insisted, Roxy smiling at the comfort. </p>
<p>“I’d do anything for him, really” Roxy let go of her shoulders. Jane reached out and pushed Roxy’s blonde hair behind her ear, rubbing her gentle fingers across her jaw. </p>
<p>“You don’t have to feel the need to justify yourself to me. I love you!” Jane chirped, Roxy wrapping her arms around her and hugging her even tighter. Jane laughed, sticking out her tongue comedically to imply the hug had suffocated her. </p>
<p>Dirk was back in no time, a small match box in his hands. He paused, eyeing Roxy before striking a match and putting it out towards her. “Jane you did well as my distraction, now It’s time I set your dress on fire!” </p>
<p>“Oh haha! Not funny” Roxy crossed her arms, watching with Jane as Dirk entered the room and lit a few candles so everyone could see. “Are you two going to bed?” </p>
<p>“Hopefully! I’m exhausted” Jane yawned, entering her new room. A simple glance around revealed all sorts of things she recognized as her own, making her feel right at him. The sheets reeked of Dirk as she plopped into them, curling up and taking in a deep breath of them. She felt so comfortable instantly. </p>
<p>Dirk picked up a candle and Roxy asked to speak to him alone, he nodded and requested Jane stay behind until he came to bed. She stuck out her tongue, the siblings leaving the room, Dirk cracking the door. </p>
<p>Jane stretched out over the bed, groaning as her back cracked satisfyingly. Sitting up, she wiggles upwards and pulls the blanket over her legs, snuggling into the mattress and nuzzling into the pillow. There was no doubt these were Dirks, smelling so much like him it was enchanting. She felt like those nights when she had stayed in his room against his parents wishes as an act of rebellion against them.</p>
<p>She sunk into the mattress comfortably, snug and completely surrounded by the plush. Jane stretched out her arms above her head and let them rest on the pillow, taking in a deep breath as she finally settled. </p>
<p>Jane was consumed by a feeling of anxiety that she couldn’t suppress, happy about all the excitement but also extremely paranoid about her interaction with the king. She shouldn’t be so nervous to stand up for Dirk, but she wasn’t queen yet, and the last thing she needed was this family to hate her like her own seemed to now. Dirk wouldn’t let her see punishment, she was sure if it, and his protection soothed her. </p>
<p>The bed was still cool with the night and it was refreshing, her eyes wandering to the crack in the door. It let in a nice amount of light, and she could hear their talking but not what they were talking about. Her eyes hooded and she fought to keep them open, slowly succumbing to her aching feet and exhausted mind, drifting asleep with the smell of Dirk surrounding her.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Let me know what you think about the chapter, and even the story so far! What are you excited to see or hear more about in the future?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. The Confession, Part 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Roxy and John have a conversation over the snow, Dirk cuts his hand, and a horrible accident befalls the King and Queen.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>WOO DOGGY. this was so exciting to write and I hope it’s cohesive. This chapter has been a long time coming... like seriously long time, and i’m so excited to reach the rising action of the story! This chapter will be in Two parts, yaknow, for suspense ;) Again, thank you all for sticking around this long to read and I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Roxy woke up suddenly to a noise, a clatter or a shout, eyes still closed as she tried to listen for it again. It never came, much to her confusion, the blonde opening her eyes and looking up at the ceiling of her bedroom. </p>
<p>It was still the late night, the room in darkness, but her eyes adjusted quickly. Roxy still focused on that sound, wondering if maybe her brain had made it up, or it had followed her from the dream she had just forgotten. It didn’t matter, she thought, sitting up and letting the blanket slide down her front into a bunch. It was colder than usual in her room, making her freezing in her thin nightgown. Throwing her legs over the side of the bed, slipping on her night shoes, she shivered with a laugh. </p>
<p>Letting out a sound, she realized how quiet the castle was. It was never so silent, not until a week ago. It had been about half a month since the wedding, and it felt like just yesterday, but it hadn’t been the mood lifter everyone hoped it would be. </p>
<p>The following weeks, every morning was punctuated with an argument that didn’t stop until everyone had gone to sleep. Every hour, the shouting voices of her father and brother bounced off the walls, everyone moving around silently and afraid of running into them. Dirk's temper had been nightmarish, and his cruelty towards the house staff was only worse everyday. </p>
<p>The blood between Bro and Dirk was bad, and then one day, all at once, it stopped. Roxy hadn’t been around to hear the argument, but according to Jane, the two of them couldn’t even be alone in a room together. Once again Roxy felt completely out of the loop. All she knew was Dirk had gotten meaner, Bro was more distant then he had ever been, and worst of all, all good news concerning her mother had stopped. </p>
<p>What was once good reports about walks around the palace, eating dinner, and knitting, had turned into sad glances from Kanaya and laments of Dave’s running away. Roxy swore she’d never move on from it as long as Mom was crying each night over it. That was possibly selfish of her, but she hadn’t been able to deal with it any other way. </p>
<p>She was too awake now to simply fall back asleep, and much too cold, so she stood and left her room. Opening the door, the dim castle was alien to her. No candles were lit in the hallway and the moonlight was the only light in the castle. Her eyes instantly caught the sky, and the white ground it was blanketing. Roxy rushed to the window, putting her hands on the window pain, shocked by how cold it was. However, she was too distracted in her childlike wonder of the snow to notice. The first snow was always her favorite. </p>
<p>She watched it come down heavily from the sky, almost hard to see through, the moon making it sparkle in that way that it does. Roxy pushed herself off the window and ran down the hallway with a quiet laugh, even though it was only her now in this square her siblings once shared, running down the steps as silently as possible. Taking a left at the ballroom, she went to the very place she had brought John the night of that Gala, all that time ago. </p>
<p>Opening the door, the bitter air hit her face in a refreshing wave. She took in a deep breath, smiling happily, stepping outside and leaving the door agar. The balcony above her stopped the snow from getting on the patio, but the edges of the stone were not safe from the cold, unique, frozen water. Roxy walked to the edge, picking up a handful of the new and soft snow, putting a little in her mouth. It melted so nicely, especially since her body was so warm with recent awakening. The first snow felt like being a child again, which Roxy was starting to wish for herself more and more everyday. </p>
<p>It was dead silent outside, the snow muting all the usual sounds of the night, all but the occasional whistle of the wind. It was a peace you couldn’t experience anywhere else but a Russian snow storm, closing her eyes she basked in it. </p>
<p>“Princess!” </p>
<p>She jumped, nearly falling over as she spun full speed to look at whoever had shouted at her. The ringing of his voice pierced the mute night and scared her half to death, but she was ultimately delighted to see the sweet face of her friend, John. </p>
<p>“Oh my god! You nearly killed me!” She faked sternness, grinning at him. He was in his pajamas, as was she, so it wasn’t incredibly awkward. Plus, she had seen his bare chest, this was child’s play. His glasses sat on the edge of his nose, his hair a disheveled mess, and his face was red. </p>
<p>“What are you doing outside? It’s the middle of the night” He spoke softly, a smile resting on his face, walking over to her and sticking out his hand so the snowflakes would land on him, melting on impact. </p>
<p>“What are you doing outside?” She threw back the question, crouched down to pick up the snow and mush it into a ball. It was cold on her hands but it wasn’t anything she wasn’t used to. Her thin nightgown brushed against the stone patio, usually only just below her knees, now engulfing her.</p>
<p>“I’m not sure, I woke up just… suddenly” he shrugged, smiling down at her. </p>
<p>“Strangely enough, me too” She giggled, patting the cold stone next to her, John sitting down next to her with crossed legs. Roxy purposefully lost her balance, falling back on her butt and against the stone. It was just as cold as her hand had warned her, but John's extremely warm shoulder smooshed against hers helped a little. “Isn’t it just beautiful?” </p>
<p>“It really is” John agreed, looking out with her. </p>
<p>The snow was thick, laying down heavily on the trees and the ground around them, so dense that she could hardly see the forest clearing at all. The twinkle of the moonlight was all she could see through the blizzardous snow: the moonlight and John. She redirected her attention, laying against his shoulder to look up at him. She hadn’t been lying to Jane, her and John were simply friends. Once the stress of desperately trying to beat Dirk was futile, she found his friendship far more valuable. That didn’t stop her from thinking about him constantly, or getting lost in his deep blue eyes. </p>
<p>“It’s crazy, too” He spoke again, his throat shifting handsomely “Early September and it’s already snowing? I thought snow only came around in the winter months” </p>
<p>“In Russia it’s all a game of chance, but this is actually the earliest snow I think I can remember” She grinned, pulling up her knees and cuddling closer to him “Does it snow in Thailand?” </p>
<p>“Never” John spoke quietly</p>
<p>“Never?! This is the first time you’ve ever seen snow!” She was giddy like a child, sitting up and looking at him more directly. He laughed, covering his mouth. </p>
<p>“Not the first! But it’s probably only the 3rd or 4th time” He admitted, Roxy relaxing back into him with a sigh. </p>
<p>She loved her home, she adored it even, but Roxy couldn't help but wonder how unnatural this all must feel for him. This wasn’t his home, not really, how could it be? Thailand and Russia couldn’t be any more different; Not even their weather lined up. The clothing, the food, the homes, it was all completely different, and she had hardly taken that into consideration. For someone in such a crummy situation, she hadn’t heard but one complaint from him. Roxy looked up at him, his resting face so cute, putting her hand over his as they naturally locked fingers. </p>
<p>“Do you miss it?” She looked back at the snow. </p>
<p>“Oh, so much” He choked, his fingers tensing between hers. She nuzzled closer, feeling his head rest against the top of her own “Everyday I wish I could pack up and go home, even for just a day.” </p>
<p>Roxy listened, nodding so he would continue. </p>
<p>“Everyday something new changes, and at first it’s exciting, but then I’m reminded just how far I am away from my home. The country I was raised in, the people I was raised by… the culture I love. I’m reminded everyday of it” He spoke with an honesty she didn’t expect of him, the vibration of his voice soothing against her head. </p>
<p>“It’s so terrible you were forced away, and what those bad people did to your family… it’s so horrible” Roxy sympathized, confused by his silence. She pulled away, keeping their hands together as she faced him, John deep in thought. </p>
<p>He let out a huff from his nose, looking out over the snow, and then back at Roxy with that warmth she adored him for. Such a sweet, soft, man. You could tell just from his eyes. </p>
<p>“Since I got here, and even since my father died, I’ve had a lot of time to sit and think” He sighed “I was angry, then I was sad, but recently I’ve started to… understand?” </p>
<p>“Understand?” Roxy repeated</p>
<p>“Yeah, almost” He scrunched his eyebrows, working out how to word it, sitting up straight again and looking at her “When you are a child, you never ever think that you are gonna be the bad guy.” </p>
<p>Roxy nodded and listened. </p>
<p>“You grow up enjoying nice meals, everyone being kind to you, being gifted everything anywhere you went, being well educated. I grew up lucky” He slipped on his analogy, but it didn’t matter, Roxy knew who he was talking about. “But then, as a ruler, my father was horribly irresponsible. People were losing their homes, their money, their lives… and my father was sending his son to Russia to play the piano, throwing great parties every weekend, educating me” He emphasized “At that point, after all that suffering, and the only person meant to help you is busy… doing nothing of importance at all… you revolt, you get angry, you tear down the oppressor. It’s only human nature…” </p>
<p>“But, John, you had no control over that!” </p>
<p>“The damage was already done” He locked eyes with her, sad eyes, making her stomach roll “They meant to kill us all that night… but they couldn’t finish the job.” </p>
<p>He reached up a hand to touch that scar of his. Oh yeah, that scar. It had simply blended in with the rest of the beauties that consumed his face, and Roxy frowned at his anger towards it. Didn’t he understand that the scar took nothing from him? </p>
<p>Roxy looked at him for a while, unable to think of anything to say. In all the time he lived here, and all the time the two spent together, she had never heard this sentiment before. How could he blame himself for something so horrible that happened to him? How could he ever justify the torture he went through. It was heartbreaking. She squeezed his hand tightly, so comforted by it, but she hurt for him. </p>
<p>“You aren’t a bad guy, John” She said, smiling softly at him. He stared at her, face neutral, before it slowly creeped into a smile. “I hope Russia can be your home one day, no matter how long it takes.” </p>
<p>“Thank you” He spoke simply, shivering. “It’s getting colder, do you think?” </p>
<p>“Yes, actually” She agreed, using his shoulder to push herself up, making him laugh. She offered her hand and he happily accepted, letting her pull him to his feet. “Can I walk you back to bed?”</p>
<p>“Please” He said happily</p>
<p>The two walked inside, Roxy taking one last good look<br/>at the snow, closing the door and flipping the lock shut. It had let a bitter amount of cold air into the castle, concentrated around the door, the two giggling quietly as they tried to move across the chilly palace without making too much noise. It was nearly impossible, the couple laughing over anything and everything, Roxy complaining and speaking unseemly of a princess to make him laugh, their efforts to stay quiet making the whole situation even funnier. </p>
<p>Pulling him to his room, she was happy to see he had a candle lit, something she hadn’t been smart enough to do. He stopped her at the door, hugging her closely, getting her to melt into him. He was so big and so safe, it was incredibly comforting. Roxy adored John. </p>
<p>“Thank you for talking to me” He was happy, and Roxy could tell just by the glow of his cheeks “I’m glad you were awake at ungodly hours of the night.” </p>
<p>“Always” She winked, kissing his cheek and parting from him sadly, the closing of his door even gentle.</p>
<p>Roxy could see herself marrying him, possibly, if she thought about it hard enough. A smile rested on her face as she took the railing, starting her descent down the steps. She hardly took a step down the stairs when her name was being said again, but this time much quieter. Roxy turned, looking up at Dirk, someone she didn’t expect to see. He always snuck up on her. </p>
<p>“Dirk! You're awake too?” She cocked her head, eyes shooting down to his hands, which were surprisingly gloved. It was odd the way he was holding them together, like he was hiding a small animal in the middle, domed just slightly. His eyes were wide and dark, looking nervous and sick. </p>
<p>Her eyes adjusted easily in the dark, but the fine details were still difficult to make out. </p>
<p>“Too?” He asked in confusion, letting his hands part slightly. As he did, she watched a drop roll down the side of his hand, dripping against his foot. </p>
<p>“Are you… bleeding!” She freaked, grabbing for his hands which he physically rejected, stepping backwards and lifting his hand over his head. Roxy furrowed her brows in confusion, putting up her arms. </p>
<p>“It’s fine! I was heading to the nurse right now” Dirk was blunt, holding his hands away and at his sides, Roxy’s hands still out to grab it. Why hadn’t he opened up with his hand injury, why was he bleeding? As she got closer to him, she could see all the blood covering his front side, an absurd amount of blood stained the white of his nightshirt. </p>
<p>“What did you do to yourself?” Roxy asked, letting Dirk pass her so she could follow him, keeping up with his quick steps down the stairs. He always walked down the steps like he was falling, rushing all the way. </p>
<p>“I, uhm” He paused “I was playing with my letter opener, it sliced my palm open-“ </p>
<p>“Ow! Why was it ever that sharp?” They hit the bottom<br/>of the steps, Dirk slowing and letting Roxy stay next to him as he walked to the nurses quarters. Roxy wished he’d show her, but maybe the injury embarrassed him. She wasn’t sure how a letter opener could make him bleed so profusely. </p>
<p>“I’m not sure, I must’ve sharpened it too long, without noticing” Dirk dismissed it, approaching the door and grabbing the handle, pulling it open. Roxy watched as his gloved hand left, not leaving any blood behind. </p>
<p>“Which hand?” She asked, following him into the room and rushing to the pump, grabbing the handle to get the water flowing to the room. “Why are you gloved?” </p>
<p>“This one” He held up the hand that didn’t open the door, blood dripping from his wrist down to the floor with another drop. “And, well, I wasn’t sure what to do. I thought maybe the cloth would… help?” </p>
<p>“You seriously…. aren't… a nurse” Roxy groaned between each word, finally slamming down the handle one final time as water came flowing out and into the bucket below it. She pumped it consistently until the bucket was half full, pushing it down and locking it so only a few drops of water came from the faucet. </p>
<p>“Thank you” He mumbled, watching Roxy lift up<br/>the bucket, a little water splashing over as she put it on the table. Dirk reached behind him as she did this, pulling down one of the wool towels hanging on the wall. Roxy took it from him, dipping it into the water and facing him, Dirk still hesitating to show her. </p>
<p>“Cmon, give me your hand! And take off the glove, so I can clean it, do you want an infection?” She scolded, Dirk looking down and obliged, pulling down the edge of the glove and clenching his teeth as it rolled over his palm. He slung the glove against the table, putting it out for Roxy to see. </p>
<p>It wasn’t as nasty as the blood would have you assume, but it was deep enough that even his fingers trembled. It was a clean cut, almost precise, but she didn’t care any for that. She pressed the towel against Dirks wound and he flinched, but the monster grip she had on him made him unable to run away. </p>
<p>“Fuck, that hurts” Dirk seethed, shaking his second, still gloved hand, the white cloth completely stained and ruined with dried blood. “I wish you’d let me do it myself!” </p>
<p>“You wouldn’t do it well enough, the pain would get the best of you! Now stop being baby” She grumbled, throwing caution to the wind and cleaning to actually clean it, and not to comfort Dirk. He shook his leg and bit his lip with a look of serious discomfort. </p>
<p>She dipped it in the water a few times, his blood turning the water a light pink, slowly becoming blood free and also dirt free. Roxy wiped one final time, start to finish, lifting up the towel and ringing out. This gave Dirk the chance to pull his hand away, inspecting it himself. He’s breathing calmed and he stopped shaking, Roxy lifting the bucket and putting it back on the ground. That was someone else’s mess. </p>
<p>“Why were you playing with a letter opener in the middle of the night!” She suddenly realized, throwing down her hands and turning to face him again. </p>
<p>“I couldn’t sleep, why were you walking around the castle?” Dirk shot back, holding his wrist still. Roxy walked to the cabinet, digging through until she found the white bandages, unraveling it, the future king putting out his hand, palm up, so she could start wrapping him up. </p>
<p>“I was walking John to bed, we were watching the snow…” She smiled, thinking about John fondly. Roxy made sure the bandage was secure, looping it a few times around his thumb and wrist to keep it in place. </p>
<p>“It’s snowing?” Dirk perked up, no windows in this room to show him. Roxy sat up and nodded. </p>
<p>“Like crazy! It’s so thick, I was pretty shocked” Roxy giggled, covering her mouth. </p>
<p>“Why was John awake?” </p>
<p>“He said something woke him up, I’m assuming the same thing that woke me up” Roxy shrugged, now tugging on Dirk so she could show him the snow. He wasn’t nearly fun enough to go sit outside with her, so they’d find a window to look out instead. </p>
<p>“What woke you?” Dirk started to follow her, even though she moved much slower than him. She liked to take her time, and he was always rushing. </p>
<p>“A loud noise I think, I was certain of a shout? But it never happened again” Roxy shrugged, not getting a look at Dirk as she pulled him to the largest window in the drawing room, Dirk quickly running up to it and putting his hands on the cold glass. He adored the winter, and she couldn’t imagine how happy he must be. Usually his face would glow, and he’d smile, but something was unusually somber about him tonight. </p>
<p>He was getting older, she could see it in his face, and she could hardly remember what he used to look like. The change is so gradual and Roxy doesn’t notice the little things, not like he does, but right next to him like this she could see it. His jaw was getting squarer, like their father, and the beginnings of facial hair were starting to creep on to his face, his sideburns traveling their way down his jaw. Dirk was getting broader, too, and taller. He had always been lanky and small, very sweet, and Roxy always just wanted to pick him up and slide him into her pocket. Now, everyday he looked more and more like Bro, and it almost sat wrong with her. If he was growing up, so was she. Roxy didn’t notice her own change, and as she looked in the reflection of the window, she saw the same young girl she always saw in her reflection. </p>
<p>Her eyes found Dirk again, so lost in space she was worried he had died, that same glossiness to his eyes you see in stuffed animals. Something was bothering him, it seemed, and Roxy would be a good sister and figure out what it was. </p>
<p>“Dirk… are you okay?” She spoke softly, walking closer to him and laying her head on his shoulder, leaning into him completely. </p>
<p>He didn’t answer, taking in a sharp breath, and exhaling quietly. His fingers already picked at the fraying ends of the cloth bandages, and he’d certainly need different ones by tomorrow. She wouldn’t give up so easily, but it was obvious he was thinking. He was lost in the snow, and his eyes were slowly going up and down, following the flow of the snow until he hit the ground, moving back up to find a separate snowflake to fixate on. There was the little boy she grew up with somewhere there, excitingly awaiting the morning so he could shake her awake and demand they make snow angels and snowmen, barely able to stay in one place from excitement. Usually, she could see that glimmer of warmth, but his deep eyes were cold today. Cold like the snow, like the window pane, like her butt from the stone. He was ill, maybe. </p>
<p>“Dirk” she prompted, his body stiffening as he looked over at her, taking another exaggerated breath.</p>
<p>“How do you love so easily?” He said simply, Roxy blushing scarlet as he looked directly in her eyes. The question was confusing, because there was no explanation, she simply just… could. Roxy had always been partial to love, and all the things that came with it. </p>
<p>“Oh, well, I’m not sure” She shrugged, Dirk still looking deeply through her “It makes me feel good, when I love others, when others love me. Does it not make you happy to be loved, you stone gargoyle!” She teased. </p>
<p>“I suppose not” He smiled, laying against his arms, which were crossed on the windowpane. The snow was starting to build up around the bottom from the outside, so he definitely couldn’t see much. Maybe he was watching as the snow slowly built up on the seal. </p>
<p>“What’s got you thinking about this? Did you and Jane argue?” She frowned, wrapping her arm across his shoulders, pulling at the embroidery on his collar. Even the collar had been splashed with blood, and she wondered if he had grabbed it in a panic. Obviously this shirt was ruined, and she scolded him mentally. </p>
<p>“No, we never argue” Dirk claimed, and Roxy had nothing to refute it. He had spent so long chasing her away, and she ended up winning his affection in the end, how romantique. “This isn’t a new feeling, Roxy, I've felt this way for some time.” </p>
<p>“I know” She admitted “I just wish you would elaborate more with me, I don’t understand you.” </p>
<p>“It’s just…” He bit his tongue, looking away “I always seem to care about myself more than anyone, and what I want, what I need. It’s hard for me to just simply love someone, to care about someone for any other reason but to help myself. And even the people I love the most suffer because of me, suffer because i’d rather hurt those I love then not get what I want.I make stupid decision without thinking, blinded by greed and…It’s just…I don’t know, Roxy.” </p>
<p>“What did you do?” Roxy knew he wanted to tell her something, but he was holding it in. His eyes darted to look at her, and then away, then turning himself away completely. With his back to her, She could see his fingers holding each one of his arms, as if he was hugging himself. “Dirk?” </p>
<p>“I’ve been so cruel to those I love, I've been cruel to you. Even you think I’m mean, don’t you? I couldn’t change if I wanted to, even if I tried.” He didn’t even turn slightly in her direction, still facing away completely to talk to her. What could he have done that he couldn’t even look her in the eyes?</p>
<p>“Dirk, of course I think you’re mean, you are my brother! What is the matter, please be honest with me” Roxy put her hands on his back, but didn’t rush him to move. He would when he was prepared. </p>
<p>He just tensed, his breathing heavier than usual, still crossing his arms. She wanted to see him, see his eyes, to see if he was thinking. Dirk was always thinking, actually, and Roxy could never tell which thoughts mattered.</p>
<p>“I just wanted to get it off my chest“ Dirk suddenly turned around, dropping his arms and looking at her. He must be leaving something out, or worse, lying. Still, she’d believe him against her better judgement, because she was very good at that. </p>
<p>“Oh… are you sure?” She cocked her head like a dog, holding her nightgown in fists. </p>
<p>“Positive. Thank you for listening” He smiled down at her, and she returned it.</p>
<p>“I think you are very capable of love, Dirk” She watched his face relax as he listened “You deserve love, you deserve everything you’ve worked hard for. We all make stupid split second decisions, but we can’t cry over spilled tea, because there’s nothing we can do but clean up afterwards!” </p>
<p>Dirk nodded, a small smile coming to his face, putting out a hand to push her hair behind her ear. </p>
<p>“You can always tell me anything” She looked into his eyes, and that same look swirled behind them “Absolutely anything, you can hardly keep me mad for long” She chuckled. </p>
<p>“Yes, but when you are mad you're violent!” Dirk shoved her playfully “I love you, Roxy.” </p>
<p>“I love you!” She chirped, yawning as she opened her mouth too far, putting a fist to her mouth and shaking her head. Dirk wasn’t far behind her, laughing at the contagiousness. She leaned forward and pushed her forehead into his chest, her brother's hand resting on the top of her head in no time. </p>
<p>“Are you finally tired?” He teased, Roxy nodding against him. Dirk ran his hand through her hair, silently letting her lay against him for a while longer. </p>
<p>“Wanna walk me to bed?” She lifted her head, a smirk laying funnily on her face. Dirk nodded with a smile, pulling his hand from her and gazing a few more seconds at the snow.</p>
<p>The two of them left the room, the castle just as silent as before, the closing of the door seeming a thousand times louder this late. Their soft footsteps patted against the floor, Dirk and Roxy neither wearing real shoes, the darkness of the castle unusually comfortable. She was so delighted to spend such personal time with him, even if it was short. </p>
<p>Roxy had felt that recently she was completely tossed aside for the bigger and better, hardly seeing those she loved. She remembered how she often spent time with her mother, her sister, and her younger brother, when Dirk was away and busy. She didn’t have John then as she does now, but still she found him being stolen away by her new sister-in-law, who she never could complain about, but this feeling of being casted away was painful. It had awoken a new period of grieving inside her, and reminded her of all the loss she had experienced in only the one year. How could she possibly get used to going from having 5 well, happy, and alive family members, to only 3? Only 1 of which she had seen in the last week. Roxy had chosen family of course, Jane and John consuming her mind and soul, but it would never be the same. </p>
<p>So, these moments with Dirk were incredibly special. Looking up at him, to see him aging, made her feel better. He had always been her favorite, her closest friend, her first bully. Dirk was always there to comb her hair and clip her dress, not awkward about seeing her underclothes, kind to her the most. Walking besides him she daydreamed about his coming child, and how excited she got every time it came to mind, desperate to meet her. Roxy had already very much decided it was going to be a girl, because it just had to be, so she wouldn’t manifest a boy. </p>
<p>Dirk would prefer a girl, anyways. </p>
<p>Her family was growing, and maybe soon, she’d be married with her own children. Dirk was already slightly embarrassed about the first, and she wasn’t sure he’d have another, but she wished to have as many as possible. Not because the horrors of childbirth excited her, but because she wanted to take care and love as many things as possible. She’d need a boy to name Dave, and a girl to name Rose, and two more to name after her parents, and a few more to name herself. This future excited her, and as Dirk looked over, he pointed out that she was smiling. </p>
<p>“What are you thinking about, Roxy?” </p>
<p>“Oh… everything! The future, the past, the baby!” She squealed, Dirk turning red and averting his eyes “I feel like things are starting to change, for the better” </p>
<p>“I hope so” He nodded, stopping as they reached her bedroom door. Had they really been walking silently that entire time? </p>
<p>“Are you excited?” Roxy turned to face him directly, putting a hand on her door handle. </p>
<p>“I think I’ll be much happier once I’m king.” He answered truthfully, and horribly unfun, but it’s exactly what she expected. She elbowed him with her free arm, smiling.</p>
<p>“I think you’ll win him over soon” She winked “Especially if you keep bugging him!” </p>
<p>“Yaknow, I think so too.” Dirk chuckled, putting his hand over hers and clicking the handle, pushing open the door. Roxy let go of the handle, starting to feel the burn of tiredness atop her eyes. Stepping into her room, the bottom of her nightgown swaying against her calves, looking back to smile at him again. </p>
<p>“I love you, get to sleep okay? And kiss Jane for me” She teased, pushing his chest. He smiled, nodding. </p>
<p>“Do you want to trade places? You can cuddle her all night” He exaggerates the all, putting up his hands to signify a large stretch of time. </p>
<p>“Please! She’s so pretty and warm, I could sleep with her forever” Roxy hugged herself and swayed, both siblings sharing a laugh. </p>
<p>“Unfortunately, she's expecting me” Dirk leaned forward and kissed her forehead “Goodnight, Roxy” </p>
<p>“Goodnight, Dirk” she hummed, watching him turn away and head back down the stairs, putting his hand on the railing and instantly pulling it away, assumably forgetting his injury. She wanted to call out, tease him for her wrapping up his hand, but she quietly watched him disappear into the dark castle with a frown. </p>
<p>Hopefully he felt better tomorrow, and maybe he’d feel comfortable being honest with her. Roxy shut her door, kicking off her slippers, flopping into bed with a sigh. Opening her eyes, she slid up the bed and under the covers, staring at the ceiling. </p>
<p>Roxy thought about the people she loved, the people she missed. She thought sweetly of Dirk, his smile always making her blush happily. He rarely smiled truly with anyone else, and she was glad her brother could be her best friend, even after all the times she punched him. She thought about John, who she truly loved, as a friend, maybe as a future lover, who she adored every second of time with. Jane, who had a funny laugh, so precious and perfectly feminine, her almost sister. Her real sister, Rose, whom she missed like a mother to a child, face still burning with sadness everytime she thought about her playing beautiful music on her violin. Dave, who had instilled an anger towards Dirk inside her that she had never been able to keep, everytime she remembered his crying face, tore apart at the idea that in his misery was the last time she’d see him. </p>
<p>Her mother was dying, and her father was unwelcome in any room Dirk walked into, making the castle cold. It was hard to watch, but she mostly didn't think she could handle much more loss. Dirk and Bro would find a way to make up, as they always did, and she assumed that would happen once Dirk had a crown on his head. Her father would cave, eventually. </p>
<p>Roxy let her heavy eyes close, reminded of her breathing and taking control of it, slowly falling asleep. </p>
<p>It didn’t last long, unfortunately. </p>
<p>She was awoken again by a scream, completely certain this time as it continued long past the time she sat up. It was distant, blood curdling, and it shook her at her core. Her room was still dark, confused by how much time could’ve possibly passed. </p>
<p>Her room wasn’t empty, and she suddenly became aware of the hand on her shoulder, and the presence of her brother. Had she instead been woken up by his shaking, and the scream had come afterwards? Had she only just gotten to bed and he came back in to tell her something, maybe he was finally ready to be honest with her. Unfortunately, that didn’t seem to be the case, his face clearly unnerved. </p>
<p>“Dirk? What time is it— Is everything okay?” </p>
<p>Whenever Dirk looked afraid, her stomach fell to her feet, and she instantly felt anxious. It took a lot to make Dirk look physically sick, and whenever he did, it must be something incredibly bad. Roxy woke up instantly when she saw him, opening her eyes wide to meet his.</p>
<p>“It’s the early morning, but you need to get up, Roxy… there’s been an-“ He rolled his lips, looking away from her and down at the floor, his grip tensing on her shoulder “-Accident.” </p>
<p>“An accident? Whatever happened?” Roxy pulled her blanket off and put her legs over the edge, Dirk backing away so she could stand. </p>
<p>“You didn’t hear? The shouting and the screaming” He questioned, scrunching his eyebrows, his tone scarily calm “It woke me up, I ran straight here after finding out what happened-“ </p>
<p>“I did hear the screaming, but just as you woke me up— but, stop being vague with me! What’s happening?” She repeated again, it starting to sound like it had no meaning. “Is Jane alright?” </p>
<p>“Yes, Jane is fine” He deflected her previous question, looking away and cursing, putting a thumb to his mouth and chewing at the nail. “I’m sorry- I’m just…” </p>
<p>“Dirk…” Roxy put a hand to touch his face, turning him to face her, her stomach starting to hurt from the anxiety. “I hate to see you like this-“ </p>
<p>“Someone attacked our mother and father last night” He blurted like he could no longer hold it in his mouth, grinding his teeth together, Roxy’s hand failing from his face “They’re dead.” </p>
<p>“Wha….” Roxy choked, putting the tips of her fingers to her mouth, an obvious tremble in her hand “What?!” </p>
<p>“I didn’t know how to tell you, I didn’t want to tell you, i’m so sorry-“ He was speaking fast, so unlike himself, the same way he did whenever forced to apologize for something. She tried to process what he had said, her breathing starting to get heavy and sporadic, unable to process such an idea. </p>
<p>“They were… attacked?” She spoke quietly, unable to look him in the face. “By who?” </p>
<p>“Fuck, that’s why I’m here!” He said as though he had just realized “We don’t know, nobody saw anyone come or leave so… they have to still be in the castle.” </p>
<p>“What?!” Roxy shouted, a tenseness in her shoulders she had never felt before. “That’s terrifying, is John safe? and where is Jane? is anyone else… dead?” </p>
<p>“John and Jane are in the drawing room, at least that’s where I told him to go” Dirk shook his head “I had to grab you, make sure you were okay. It seemed to be just them, fortunately enough.”</p>
<p>“We have absolutely no idea? Nobody saw them?” Roxy repeated, wanting to press herself close to him. How could this be real? Was she only asleep and having a nightmare?</p>
<p>What had she done to deserve this, to deserve to lose all she had. Was Dirk next? and then Jane, and even John? It must be her fault, speaking so happily. The universe could never let her have a good year, a good month, or even a week. Things had just begun looking up, and now the most terrible dreadful thing has happened, and her life is truly a nightmare. Now they were all in danger, a monster possibly on the loose, and only Dirk to save her. She would never let him go, not even when her hands were dead and stiff. </p>
<p>“We’ll find them, Roxy, I promise we’ll find them” He spoke harshly, and Dirk was so scary when he spoke like this “They must be here, no one saw anybody leave, and I promise you we’ll kill them.” </p>
<p>“Oh, Dirk, this can’t be true” Roxy started to sob, tears finally falling from her wet eyes. The mix of the crying and haggard breathing made her lightheaded, needing to sit down, she fell back against her bed. </p>
<p>Dirk bent over and took her into a hug, holding her closer than she had ever been held before, the princess crying harder in his arms. She had only been awake a few minutes and she had just had the worst news possible broken to her, and she hadn’t even left her bedroom. She wished to see the castle, to see the room, to see her parents. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, squeezing her, and there was a scary amount of sincerity within it. How could he be so emotional, while being so calm. “We have to get to the drawing room, I promised Jane” </p>
<p>“Of course” Roxy tried to control herself, but she was hardly understandable through her tears. She stood up on her own and Dirk took her hand, and with that she felt safe. He opened her door and she was confronted all at once with the brightness of the castle, and the absolute chaos it was in. There wasn’t an entry way or door that wasn’t being run in and out of, people running up and down the stairs holding big bundles of sheets and fabrics covered in… blood. Guards surrounded the door, and through the windows she could see more surrounding the entrance from the outside. </p>
<p>Had the kingdom been informed yet? Hopefully she’d learn more about it before the kingdom knew of their passing, and Roxy had never felt so helpless in her life. Dirk took her down the stairs much quicker than she was expecting, almost running as they tried to avoid the foot traffic reeking hell on the palace. It was noisy, everyone was shouting and Roxy could hear crying, the place doctor yelling for people to follow him. </p>
<p>Dirk paid no mind to it all, pulling her to the drawing room door and pushing it open, Roxy not seeing it closed since the day her baby brother ran away. With the door open he pushed her inside first, quickly after her, shutting the door and huffing against it. Roxy saw John stand up to his feet, Jane laying down on the couch. She instantly caught Roxy’s attention, as she seemed to be asleep. </p>
<p>“Oh thank god you’re okay!” John spoke softly, leaving Jane's side and approaching Roxy. </p>
<p>“John! Jane… is she okay?” She turned to face her, the future queen even pretty while she slept. </p>
<p>“She passed out,” Dirk answered, running the back of his hand against her cheek “-when she saw what happened…” </p>
<p>“Was I the only one who wasn’t awake?” Roxy said sadly, her voice still ruined with tears. </p>
<p>“It was louder on our side of the castle” John spoke gently “The shouting I mean.” </p>
<p>“I still can’t believe no one heard the attack, did Mom and Dad simply not scream?” Dirk came to her side “There must’ve been more than one person.” </p>
<p>“Or maybe one simply slept through the attack” John suggested. </p>
<p>“But all the blood, the room was practically painted in it, there’s no way that was quiet.” Dirk shut down</p>
<p>“I didn’t see the room, but the blood in the carpet, and all the bedsheets” John said with a shiver, looking at Roxy, who simply had nothing to say. She hadn’t seen it, any blood, only the fabric in the arms of the servants she passed by. Nothing more, and she hated it. </p>
<p>“Who found them?” Roxy asked, scanning them all, open to anyone’s answer. </p>
<p>“Kanaya.” Dirk said flatly “She came in to wake our mother for her early medicine, opened the door, saw all the blood, and screamed.” </p>
<p>“That’s the scream that woke me up” Said John, putting a hand to his chest. “And Jane too-“ </p>
<p>“The scream scared Jane, and then Kanaya pounded on our door to wake us. I was still asleep and she jumped up to answer. The light from the hallway woke me up, Kanaya frantically asked for help, and when me and Jane ran to their bedroom to confirm what she said…” Dirk budded in. </p>
<p>“She screamed, the blood was too much for her, and she fainted. Her scream had gotten me to leave my room, and Kanaya wanted me to come to the drawing room with her too. We’ve both been waiting for you and Dirk since, I can’t explain to you how worried I was.” </p>
<p>“Her scream must’ve woken me up, but I wasn’t fully awake until Dirk shook me” Roxy filled in the rest, finally finding her place in the story. </p>
<p>“I didn’t think you could be dead” Dirk said “Because all the blood was dry… It’s only been about 2 hours since we last spoke, in this very room, so there wasn’t any way the attacker got to you because Mom and Dad must’ve been dead long before that.” </p>
<p>“It’s all so confusing, I spoke to John before you, Dirk, remember? It wasn’t very long but if your right, and the attack happened before we woke up the first time, then me and John should’ve heard the attack.” Roxy looked to John, and he was thinking quite hard. </p>
<p>“Maybe we did?” John said suddenly, shocking the royals “Because we both complained about being woken up by something we couldn’t make out, and you called it a shout, didn't you?” </p>
<p>“I did! But I swore I dreamed it” Roxy said </p>
<p>“Well how could I have dreamed it too?” </p>
<p>“So, if what you are saying is true, that means all three of us were awake while the attack was happening. That’s unbelievable” Dirk said, referring to everyone but Jane, who had been fast asleep before sundown. </p>
<p>“Why were you awake?” John faced him</p>
<p>“I couldn’t sleep, I hadn’t even gone to bed yet, so I was finishing sealing the response letters to our distant family for the wedding gifts. I got bored, was playing with my letter opener, and cut my hand-“ </p>
<p>“Yeah! Cause when I dropped you off, John, I helped Dirk in the nurses quarters because he was bleeding.” Roxy confirmed, John nibbling on his lip. </p>
<p>“Obviously we all have an alibi; Each other” Dirk shut down the conversation “It wasn’t any of us. It has to be one of the servants, right?” </p>
<p>“That's the only thing that makes sense” Roxy agreed, getting an affirming look from Dirk. Roxy thought long and hard, and obviously she knew it couldn’t be any of them, but what servant would truly do this? Wouldn’t they understand the cost, or how much trouble they would be in. </p>
<p>“Okay, let’s say that’s true” John spoke up “Who?” </p>
<p>“It could be anyone of them. The only ones coming to mind would be Kanaya or Aradia, they dealt with our horrible mother everyday.” Dirk said casually, and she was surprised, even now, that he could hate her. </p>
<p>“No, never them. They are both kind women, I couldn’t imagine Kanaya killing anyone.” Roxy shut him down, refusing to accuse Kanaya of another crime against the royal family she dedicated so much of her life to. </p>
<p>“So Aradia?” John looked between the blonde royals, but neither of them seemed convinced either. </p>
<p>“I… I honestly don’t think so” Dirk shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose and staring deep into Roxy’s eyes. </p>
<p>“Well…” John said “The only way to find out who did it is to interview each servant?” </p>
<p>“Good idea, that’s all we have left to do” Roxy agreed </p>
<p>Roxy looked to Dirk, who obviously was ready to get this out of the way, and to John, whose face betrayed suspicion. He looked at Dirk with a serious expression, but he didn’t say much more as he sat back against the couch, putting his ankle on his knee to cross them. The room had gotten eerily quiet and not even the simple sounds of the unknowing birds and insects outside could give her some sort of normality, because the snow muted the world surrounding her. In the silence, Roxy was forced to remember what was happening. She had only been awake for so long, and this stress was hurting her head. </p>
<p>Dirk touched her shoulder, hugging her. It was a sweet embrace, and she felt safe against him. Pulling away, he turned from the room and to the door, opening it and slipping out. Roxy watched without apposition. </p>
<p>Her arms hung lifelessly, her hair getting too long for her own comfort, starting to rest on her shoulders. </p>
<p>The room shifted again, and as she turned, John stood up and walked past her, so focused that he almost didn’t address her as he left the room. He turned suddenly, the door in his hand “Stay here with Jane,” he didn’t wait another minute, turning away and out of the room. She walked over to the door that he had left cracked open, watching him descend the stairs to the servants quarters with a cocked head, looking back into the room to Jane, who had started to shift. </p>
<p>Roxy went  to her side, crouching, taking her shoulder, and shaking her softly. She hated to wake her, especially since she’d give anything to just be asleep, unknowing, and soft right now, but Roxy wanted company because she felt so scared and vulnerable. </p>
<p>The woman scrunched up her face in annoyance and groaned, sitting up and rubbing her eyes. She looked up at Roxy and smiled, taking only a second to take in her surroundings. Right in front of her eyes, Jane’s face fell as she assumably remembered what had happened, the princess looking away. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry to wake you, it’s just us” Roxy spoke softly, in the way you do with those who have just woken up. </p>
<p>“Men… they can’t even spend a moment with us at a time like this?” Jane laughed sadly, now sitting with her feet against the floor, knees touching, but toes pigeoned. “Oh my god… I’m so sorry, Roxy” </p>
<p>“You didn’t do a thing, darling,” Roxy said sweetly, sitting next to her and wrapping an arm around her shoulder, holding her close. She sat her head against Jane's shoulder.</p>
<p>“This year has been so sorrowful” Jane nuzzled closer, holding her stomach. She didn’t need to do such a thing yet, but Roxy imagined it brought her comfort.</p>
<p>“I know” Her voice cracked with sadness, closing her eyes so she didn’t cry. “I feel so terrible that you joined our family at such a horrible time, you’ve experienced all we’ve experienced alongside us.” </p>
<p>“It’s not nearly the same thing” Jane said quietly, the girls remaining in silence as they held each other close. There was nothing keeping them here, although Dirk probably wouldn’t appreciate his pregnant wife running around a crime scene right now, and he had no control over Roxy, but she also didn’t feel comfortable leaving Jane alone. Even though, if the killer was still in the castle, Roxy didn’t think they would strike again. Jane sighed, turning halfway to look out the windows and at the snow, which was still falling from the sky, and Roxy looked as well. “She’ll fix all of this, all of this pain and suffering, she’ll make it better.” </p>
<p>Roxy looked back at her sister-in-law, holding herself with a sad smile, rubbing a hand over the small bump forming inside her. “I think so, too,” Roxy agreed. </p>
<p>Jane’s face softened as she looked at Roxy, and it looked like she wanted to say something, but nothing was coming out. She nudged her. </p>
<p>“What is it, Jane?” She asked softly </p>
<p>“I want to be honest with you, because I love you, but I don’t think now is the time…” she admitted </p>
<p>“Oh, don’t say that, there isn’t anything to do but talk now” Roxy states, removing her arm from Jane's shoulder “I need the distraction anyways.” </p>
<p>“It’s just that, and i’m certain you've felt this way, it just seems like all this misfortune is so unescapable… even in the small things” Jane sighed “Dirk won’t even sleep next to me, and we just moved in together! We have a child, and he can’t lay next to me, then-” </p>
<p>“Whatever do you mean?” Roxy prodded</p>
<p>“Well, even just last night, I was getting ready for bed and I asked him when he was going to come with me. He told me he just needed to ‘Finish his letters’” Jane did air quotes with her fingers “yaknow, for the wedding gifts, but he promised he’d lay down once he finished. I stayed up in bed reading, waiting for him, watching him work, and when he finished he still refused to come to bed… I feel like it’s me?” Jane admitted sadly</p>
<p>“Oh, darling, I’m sure it’s not you! He’s always been such a night owl, up all night, sleeps all day” She comforted, entertained by the idea that this slight gossip was her biggest of worries at the moment. </p>
<p>“Well, I'd say so too, seeing that it was so early, but usually once he’s out of work he has nothing to distract himself and he just comes to bed…” Jane shrugged </p>
<p>“Early?” Roxy questioned </p>
<p>“Well, yes, I’ve been going to bed so early recently” Jane laughed innocently “I was in bed well before 11:30, I could hardly stay awake. He kissed me goodnight, and left the room, completely leaving me all alone in that miserably cold bed.” </p>
<p>“That’s… strange” Roxy scrunched her eyebrows, thinking back to her conversation with Dirk only minutes prior. </p>
<p>“What do you mean?” Jane asked </p>
<p>“Well it’s just that, we think me and John were woken up by the sounds of… my parents being attacked, but once it went away we forgot about it, and in the early morning me and John sat outside and watched the snow-“ Roxy started, Jane smiling sweetly. </p>
<p>“How nice! And in your nightclothes!” She teased, distracting Roxy and making her giggle. </p>
<p>“It was nice! and a little embarrassing in my nightgown… but, what I was meaning to say was, I ran into Dirk on my way to bed and he was bleeding. He said he cut his hand while working on letters to send out to family, but that was well after 1:30. I find it hard to believe that he would just sit there and let himself bleed for that long.” </p>
<p>“Well, that is strange, I was certain I went to bed at 11:30, because Dirk even told me the time himself!” </p>
<p>“Are you sure he finished writing the letters?”</p>
<p>“I’m even more sure of that! Because I scorned him for swearing when he complained about having nothing to do, his words exactly-“ Jane claimed “He said, ‘Fuck, what else am I meant to do, Jane?’ is what he said to me, before kissing me, and leaving.” </p>
<p>“That wasn’t what he told me and John at all” Roxy looked down at the ground, completely confused as to why her brother would need to lie. If he wasn’t working on letters in his bedroom at the time of the crime then… where was he? </p>
<p>“And, he was bleeding? He didn’t show me any wounds when we woke up” Jane frowned, rubbing her head Inquisitively. </p>
<p>“Well, yes, he cut his hand” Roxy filled her in, Jane clearly surprised “I helped him clean it up!” </p>
<p>“How did he cut himself?” </p>
<p>“On his letter opener, I was told” said Roxy </p>
<p>“Well… that doesn’t make sense” Jane nibbled on her lip, looking away from Roxy “He lost his letter opener when we were moving rooms, he threw a giant fit about it and slapped one of the maids, it made me so angry at him…” she reminisced, negatively “but, no, we have no letter opener in our bedroom.” </p>
<p>“Why would he lie to me?” Roxy was getting highly uncomfortable at what her brain was suggesting, Dirks suspicious behavior making her very unhappy. “If he wasn’t up late writing letters, he didn’t cut his hand on a letter opener, and he had no other place to be… where was he at when our parents were attacked?” </p>
<p>The two girls sat quietly, but slowly Jane looked over at her, furrowing her brow and frowning. “Roxy…” </p>
<p>Roxy suddenly realized what she was suggesting, jumping up straight and shaking her head. “Oh my god, what am I saying! I sound crazy…” </p>
<p>“You are just overthinking, I saw the room, Dirk could never!” Jane insisted, and Roxy was inclined to believe her. Dirk threw up at the sight of his sisters well prepared and done up corpse, there was no way he could grizzily murder his own parents… no way. </p>
<p>“Of course… I can’t believe I'd ever accuse him of that” Roxy shook her head “I just don’t know why he would lie to me, lie to me and John both.” </p>
<p>“He’s probably scared of being seen as suspicious, no one would want to be accused of such a crime” Jane suggested, which Roxy agreed with. </p>
<p>It still sat with her wrong, sitting next to Jane, who had closed her eyes and leaned up against Roxy. It wasn’t adding up, and she couldn’t conclusively place him on the timeline. If he was done working by 11:30, and left the room, where could he have possibly been until she ran into him in the early morning. Had he wandered the halls? but then, if he wasn’t working on letters, and the room didn’t even have one, how was it that he cut his hand. Had he been wondering, cut his hand, and nervously made up an excuse to please Roxy, or had he been doing something… </p>
<p>No. No, absolutely not. She refused to even entertain that idea, shaking her head and putting her head in her hands. Roxy couldn't imagine such a thing, but currently she had no other suspects in her mind. </p>
<p>Both girls looked up when the drawing room door was opened again, John's comforting and familiar face poking in. He looked as serious as when he had left, a little red and nervous.</p>
<p>“John, where have you been-“ she started, almost instantaneously interrupted. </p>
<p> “Roxy… can I talk to you?” He said quietly, the blonde looking at Jane who seemed unsure. John seemed upset, though, and when she looked back at Jane again she was being ushered to go with him. </p>
<p>“I won’t be long, okay?” Roxy promised, Jane nodding and watched the two leave the room.</p>
<p>Roxy shut the door quietly, looking out at the castle which was still busy, but much quieter. She frowned, feeling much safer in the closed space of the drawing room. She looked up at John, who seemed uncomfortable. Roxy put out a hand to take his, and he slipped it right into her palm. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry to take you, I know you probably want to be alone” John apologized “but, I've been talking with that servant, Kanaya, and I need to tell you something but I need to trust that you will listen to me because i’m afraid to even say anything-”</p>
<p>“Woah, John, it’s okay! You can tell me anything, you don’t need to stress yourself out” She insisted, and it was true, she would hear him out on absolutely anything. </p>
<p>“You have to promise you’ll hear me out, it’s a brave accusation and I need you to trust me, and try not to be angry with me-“ he spoke a mile a minute, squeezing her hands in a moment of tenseness. Roxy interrupted him with a chuckle, </p>
<p>“John, it’s alright! You are making me more nervous the longer you take” She pushed back his hands and rubbed his palms with her thumbs, smiling. John took a deep sigh and nodded, making eye contact with her. </p>
<p>“I think it’s Dirk.” </p>
<p>Roxy stared unemotional, her hands gripping tighter on instinct as her brain tried to catch up with her body. Her face fell from its resting smile, blinking rapidly, she shook her head and pulled it back in a moment of disbelief. What had he just said to her? </p>
<p>“I’m sorry… what?” she asked, even though she very clearly understood the implication. </p>
<p>“You promised to listen” He reminded her, but he still paused to give her the option to change her mind. Roxy slowly nodded, willing to hear him out. </p>
<p>“I guess it only makes sense to review him as a suspect too, we did hear the least from him…” </p>
<p>“Exactly! and there’s a whole lot more” He insisted, dropping her hands so he could speak with his own, lowering his voice “Dirk is the only one here with a serious motive, infact, I Can't think of a single other person accused with a clear motivation besides him. I have been no stranger to the whole situation, with him and your father, and Jane has filled me in on all the details. Dirk needed your father dead to be king, because we all knew he would never get the throne otherwise, because your father already made up his mind, right?” John egged her on, and the pool of anxiety was back on her stomach as she processed it. He wasn’t wrong, that’s for sure, and it was even compelling. She’d need more than that, though. </p>
<p>“Okay… so let’s say that’s true. He needed to… kill my father to be king, and my mother, why would he come and check on me to make sure I was okay? Why would he…” </p>
<p>“He’s playing the part, Roxy, I could tell something about him was off in the drawing room. It was driving me crazy!” He interrupted her, clearly excited. </p>
<p>“Well… I…” she stuttered, thinking about anything she could to defend him, but all that came to mind was how Jane and her just spoke about his crummy alibi, and not just that, but that he was actively lying. “That… adds up to what Jane just told me…” </p>
<p>“What? What did Jane tell you?” He lowered his voice even further, Roxy following suit. </p>
<p>“She told me that before bed, before she went to bed, Dirk had already finished the letters he claimed to be writing during the murder” Roxy said “and, that he was lying about how he hurt himself, because neither of them have a letter opener right now.” </p>
<p>“Roxy, are you kidding me? That's so suspicious!” He said, as if it wasn’t completely obvious. Roxy couldn't believe what she was hearing, what she was saying, but it all started to piece together and she needed to get to the bottom of all of Dirks lying. </p>
<p>“I’m not kidding, no, I promise i’m being honest with you” Roxy told him, continually shaking her head in disbelief “and if we heard the attack… and we spoke for only a short time… and I found Dirk seconds later coming from him and my parents hallway... Jane even told me he left the room after telling her he wouldn’t sleep next to her-“ </p>
<p>“It’s all adding up” John persisted “He was in the area of the crime when it happened, now he has no alibi because Jane is a witness, and he is the only person with a motive. I spoke to Kanaya, and again, she said that the maids had seen cruel and awful treatment, but not even she would dare murder the King and Queen over a sour mood. You didn’t see it, neither did I, but Kanaya says it was something more like… overkill?” </p>
<p>“Overkill?” Roxy echoed </p>
<p>“Yeah, like a crime of passion, like whoever did it really wanted them dead. Something like that has to happen over years and years of anger and resentment festering and-“ </p>
<p>“Coming out all at once.” Roxy finished for him, and John simply nodded. </p>
<p>Roxy could recall countless occasions within her childhood, within her teenage life, and even in the past month that Dirk had been mistreated by her parents. He never caught a break from her father's violent outbursts, and her mother's mental abuse had targeted him since he could speak. When he was a child he would be punished for incomplete schoolwork, when Roxy was praised for even starting it. He would be screamed at for dirt stains on his pants from playing outside, while Dave would be scolded playfully and splashed in the bath. When Dirk failed to play an instrument, he was hit, but when Rose failed, she was encouraged to push forward. These impossible standards for him, the unlikeable first born, had been what caused him to hold up such unrealistic expectations for others in the same way. It made him mean, cold, unrealistic, and impatient. Then, at the end of it all, after finally winning the impossible competition, he was denied the prize. Roxy had never had to face this before and suddenly it all flooded into her brain like she had been repressing it all her life. She could see how someone so mistreated, so impossibly expected of, could finally snap and destroy the lives of the people holding him to it. </p>
<p>Roxy put a hand over her mouth, in complete shock at this realization. Looking at John, back in his beautiful blue eyes, and didn’t have a word to say. She had wanted to avoid this possibility, she wanted to blame a maid, to snuff out her suspicions, but that was all impossible now. </p>
<p>“It was him, Roxy, it had to be.” He repeated, saying exactly what was killing her inside. How could she tell him she knew? How could she stand against her own brother, her only living blood, her favorite person on the planet. What terrible punishment awaited him, what terrible future would await Jane and the baby, what were all of the consequences awaiting him that he had never expected to face. </p>
<p>“I… please excuse me” She said, gagging in horror as she ran away from John, not looking back as she aimlessly tried to navigate the castle back to her room. </p>
<p>She was lightheaded, and her vision started to cross, her body moving on autopilot as she tried to move up the stairs, happy she wasn’t fully dressed in her large gowns to restrain her. Roxy missed a few steps and fumbled, never falling, and ran to her room. She hadn’t heard a sound the entire run, felt anything, or used any of the other 3 senses she possessed. Roxy only moved, only feeling once her hands pressed against the cold door of the throne room, shocking her back into reality. How had she gotten so lost in her own home, pushing the doors open and running inside. Her footsteps echoed throughout the room as they hit the tile floor, the princess finally stopped running as she knelt down, covering her mouth and starting to cry. </p>
<p>She rejected the bile rising in her throat, choking down the burning material, trying to silence herself with no luck. Roxy couldn't focus, couldn't think, couldn't say a word. Her body refused to process the truth, especially now that it had become that much worse. </p>
<p>Dirk checked every box they had decided was important, and even though she felt as if she was repeating herself over and over again, she went through it in her head again to try and find some inconsistencies, some hidden truths that proved Dirks innocence, but it was worth nothing. </p>
<p>He had no alibi, he was lying to her, he had a motive. The only person who it realistically could’ve been was- </p>
<p>Her brother. </p>
<p>Roxy whipped around as the large door creaked open, instinctively rubbing her face as she locked eyes with nonother than Dirk himself. He entered the room, pushing the door shut without a word, something wrapped in cloth clutched by both his hands against his chest. His face was pale, his expression serious, and his hands were still trembling as Roxy stood up straight, her heavy breathing making her nauseous. </p>
<p>“Roxy… I need to talk with you.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>How did you feel about this chapter? Are you excited to see what happens next? All feedback welcome!!!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. The Confession, Part 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dirk finally tells the truth, Roxy gets caught red handed, and the dungeon gains a new prisoner.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay sooo,<br/>I was gonna work on my other fic which desperately needs an update but I was too excited to finish this so I wanted to just get it over with! I’m very happy with his chapter, a little disappointed it’s not longer, but still good all the same! </p>
<p>TW- Stabbing, Blood, and Anticipation</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Of course, always” Roxy stepped towards him, her body tense and posture stick straight. Looking at Dirk, her brother, after coming to such a realization, surprisingly didn’t change her initial fondness of him. She was so happy to see him, and that fleeting happiness led to a nervousness and sadness far more intense then she’d ever hoped to experience. </p>
<p>Dirk approached her too, the both of them meeting in the middle. They took up such little space in the grand room, but still she felt so near to him, with no escape.</p>
<p>“You look sick…” he commented, lowering his arms, as well as whatever he was holding, a frown coming to his face with such genuineness that Roxy could do nothing but hold in the sob she had in her throat. How could her brother, even in this moment, care so softly about her health. </p>
<p>How could that little boy, who remained behind his eyes, have violently murdered her dear parents, his own mother and father, and behave so casually. Or, he once behaved casually, but now he behaved so unsettlingly unlike himself that Roxy wasn’t sure if he was the real Dirk, or if her troubled brother had been replaced in his sleep. </p>
<p>“I feel sick” She answered, hardly any emotion behind the voice as the words almost fell from her mouth, and Dirk betrayed his true emotions. He looked like a child, as she had noticed just a second ago, being caught for breaking a rule. His lips wavered from a neutral sadness straight into genuine fear, his fists visibly tightening, his breath becoming uneven, Roxy wanting so badly as to just reach out and take him into her arms. </p>
<p>He was silent for a while longer, and she could tell now that he felt terribly guilty, but she knew better than to trust her emotionally driven heart. It was obvious he was in a period of regret, but did he regret his actions, or did he regret getting caught. Both him and Roxy knew what he had done, and his reaction to the silence was all she needed as her final evidence. She’d need a little more then her personal ability to read him, however, before admitting fully what he’d done.</p>
<p>“Roxy, you’re upset with me, aren’t you?” He asked, shifting like he was gonna take a step towards her, but he didn’t move. </p>
<p>“I am” She tried to push him, push him towards anything. Defense, anger, tears, a confession, anything to get answers from him. He always had the answers, and if he doesn’t have any answers, how will she ever know what happened to those she loved. </p>
<p>He sighed, breaking eye contact, looking at the floor, and that tension returned. </p>
<p>“You know, don’t you?” He asked, vague as ever. </p>
<p>“Know what, Dirk.” It wasn’t a question, more of a demand for explanation. If he had done what he was about to admit, he would not get the easy way out. He would say with his own words what he’d done. </p>
<p>“You know I killed them, right?” </p>
<p>“How did you know?” </p>
<p>“I didn’t, till I saw you just now” He claimed “I came to talk to you, show you this-“ he raised the covered item, but with no further explanation, continued. “but, I saw you and I just knew… you already knew everything” </p>
<p>“Why-” She choked, the sobs finally coming out, the blonde covering her mouth tightly and trying to remain mature and in control. </p>
<p>“Roxy” He flinched to reach out for her, but he stopped himself, and Roxy couldn’t place exactly why he’d done it. Maybe it was just his natural first instinct, maybe he was embarrassed, but she couldn’t say why “I’m sorry, I have so much to tell you.” </p>
<p>“Please, tell me,” She started “and tell me the truth.” </p>
<p>“This isn’t the first time, but it was going to be the last” He spoke relatively quickly, and she listened harder than she ever had, closing the distance between them further. “I suppose now would be the perfect time to confess for everything, right? Because you deserve to know the truth about everything, you always did.” </p>
<p>“Everything?” She repeated again, her voice so quiet that she wasn’t expecting it. </p>
<p>“Everything. Mom and Dad, Dave, Rose-“ Dirk waved around his hands like he was dragging on, but Roxy found that disrespectful. </p>
<p>“Dave and Rose? What do they have to do with any of this?” Roxy genuinely had never felt so sick in her life as her thoughts raced, making her stomach twist and turn, the seriousness of what was happening hurting her head. She needed to vomit, maybe. </p>
<p>“You seriously have no idea? Not even a suspicion about me before just today? I’m surprised” He laughed, but it seemed almost out of shock if anything. This wasn’t funny, and Dirk knew that. </p>
<p>“No, I guess I don’t.” She cleared her throat. “What?” </p>
<p>“It was me, I was the reason Rose died” He said it so blatantly, and Roxy wondered how long he’d been holding it in. His shoulders visibly detensed, and he let out a sharp breath. Roxy, on the other hand, had never felt so strung up before. She must look so physically uncomfortable, and she knew she must be white as a ghost, but she wasn’t sure how to react to such news. She had learned some pretty horrifying things about her brother in just the last 4 minutes, and she had run dry of reactions. Dirk was only just starting, though, reaching to take her shoulder, but Roxy ripped it away so harshly that she didn’t even realize she’d done it, her eyebrows furrowing into anger. </p>
<p>“What? What did you just say?” She asked, her brain working so hard to make sense of this. </p>
<p>“It wasn’t for any reason at first-“ </p>
<p>“It wasn’t for a reason?!” She interrupted </p>
<p>“Listen to me!” He stopped her, but Roxy wasn’t sure she owed him that. If Dirk didn’t deserve to speak, at least she deserved to know, so she let him continue. “At first, I hadn’t even thought about her as an obstacle. You and her didn’t even register in my mind, she loved women, she was sickly, and honestly I hardly cared for her at all. But, in a mix of anger towards our mother for forcing me to expose myself to her and… curiosity, I decided to test it on her. Test and see if I could kill someone, someone I loved anyways.” </p>
<p>“How can you… how can you say that?” Roxy was beyond understanding, shaking her head with no connection. He did it… as an experiment? As a test, in spite of her mother? “You killed Rose- you fed her until she died for… why?”</p>
<p>“It was anger, more than greed. I tried to convince myself that she was the only one capable of really beating me. If she didn’t marry, she would overthrow me definitely” Dirk said “She was easy, and sick, and I could get away with it. Rose was going to die, regardless of whether I intervened or not. I was doing her a favor-“ </p>
<p>“I can’t believe you. I don’t believe you-“ </p>
<p>“Roxy, I'll tell you honestly” Dirk started. “For a few weeks, I stole arsenic from the doctors quarters, and put barely a drop into her soups and dinner. The worse she got, the more I put, and I got to know her well and I almost stopped… but I’d gone too far.” </p>
<p>Roxy wished she could claim she was racking with sobs, shaking with anger, or crying so uncontrollably that she couldn’t hear him- but, instead, she was scarily still. Her fingers were numb, and she opened her mouth many times to speak, but nothing came out time and time again. </p>
<p>“You took her from us… as a test?” She repeated, unable to say anything else. </p>
<p>“It was more than that, honestly, but that’s… ultimately what it was.” Dirk admitted, face clear in shame. “It happened so suddenly, and once I started… well, I couldn't stop. I did it, mostly, to prove I could do it to Dave.” </p>
<p>“Dave” Roxy shook her head, lip quivering. “I knew you resented Dave, I knew what you did the second you did it, and I never should’ve forgave you-“ </p>
<p>“Roxy-“</p>
<p>“Don’t.” She was firm, putting out a hand, so stiff and angry that she felt she could fall apart at the tension. </p>
<p>“Yes, i knew you knew about Dave, but If i’m being completely transparent with you now— I wanted him to die. Truthfully” He said this much more casually, and Roxy clenched her fists “We started to get along, and I almost felt sad, but once my jealousy kicked in I was okay. It was easy, really.” </p>
<p>“Who was next.” </p>
<p>“Ah-“ Dirk was obviously surprised, but Roxy needed more answers before she snapped on him “Well, it wasn’t going to be anyone-“ </p>
<p>“Me. What had you planned for me?” </p>
<p>Dirks face dropped, and he put out his hands in defense. Stepping closer to her, she backed up, and they were again distant. </p>
<p>“No! Never you, I was never going to hurt you. Roxy, I could never hurt you. I love you-“ </p>
<p>“So, why didn’t you stop?” </p>
<p>“Dad,” Dirk clenched his teeth “He ruined everything. I got rid of the only obstacles in the castle, and when I was days away from winning, he took it from me. He told me, Roxy, he said to me “I’ll make sure you never become king.” I was so fueled by rage and I just started planning. I would kill him, and mom would find him dead the next morning. Mom would obviously be unfit to rule and I would become king.” </p>
<p>“So what… changed?” </p>
<p>“She woke up. I stabbed our father and in a blind fury I got carried away… It was a stupid mistake and I couldn’t change what I had done. So, I had to kill her too. It made me even more upset, so I ran out of the room and… into you” Dirk trailed off, lifting his hand to look at his palm, and lifting the other to look at the covered item Roxy had all but forgotten about. “I cut my hand on purpose, as I was running, hoping to use it as an alibi. You made it that much easier…” </p>
<p>Dirk unwrapped the brown cloth, and slid out the knife that was inside. It was a skinny knife, so sharp the sunlight bounced off the tip, and the hilt was sleek and looked hand carved. Dirk offered it to her, handle first, and she slowly took it. She was careful to pull it slowly so she didn’t cut him, and Roxy held it against her palm to look at it. The blade was clean but the hilt was stained with blood, seeping into the very wood work. She looked up at him, clenching around it. </p>
<p>“How did I never know you were so horrible?” </p>
<p>“I told you everyday.” Dirk answered, and Roxy cursed herself for picking out the sadness. It would be one thing if he was behaving sadly or purposely emotional, but the serious and unbothered persona he was putting on told her more than enough. He was hurt, guilty, and embarrassed, and she hated herself for wanting to forgive and hold him. Roxy was coming to terms with the fact that she was going to lose all 3 of her siblings this year, and it was painful. </p>
<p>“You took everything I love away from me, do you know the sadness you caused me? The pain I've suffered everyday?” Roxy choked, tears coming to her eyes. </p>
<p>“I was going to fix it all, make up my debt to you, give you a new family— I promised myself that once I was king, I would make life perfect for you… you are the only person I've ever been able to love.” He stressed, speaking so much with his hands that it was distracting, and he never broke eye contact. </p>
<p>“If you loved me, you wouldn’t have done this-“ </p>
<p>“I’m selfish. I know you must think i’m a monster but you have to trust me. I’m done, it’s over, and from now on everything will be okay.” </p>
<p>“... What are you saying?” </p>
<p>“I’m saying that we can still get away with this- Now i’ve confessed to you, because I trust you, but that doesn’t mean our lives are over… we can still blame a servant, a guard, or pick a gardener, any single one! We’ll stand up for each other, make a case, and when it’s all over we can move on together…” Dirk proposed “You can grieve as long as you need, but at least we’ll have each other. It’ll just be another death in the family tree that only we know the truth about, and you can keep John, Jane, and continue towards the future you want so badly. You can have your cake and eat it too.”</p>
<p>Roxy looked at him. She really looked at him. He couldn’t be serious, could he? Dirk was making quite the case for himself. Did he really think she would agree to cover for him, to let someone else take the blame and die for them? Was he really that wrong in that way of thinking. Roxy would do anything for him, it was her own words, and he was really counting on it. He really trusted her that much. It wasn’t blind, and it almost flattered her, and the desperate look in his eyes made her feel pity for him. Her eyes burned when she blinked, so sore from the crying, and she wasn't sure how she hadn’t dropped dead from dehydration. Roxy wanted to say yes, she wanted it more than anything…</p>
<p>But, she had to remember it was him who caused all of her pain and suffering this past year. </p>
<p>“I love you, I want to agree to do it…. I really, really do” Roxy choked, trying to speak clearly through her tears. She wiped her face with the back of her hand, sucking in a wet sob, shaking her head. “But I can’t.” </p>
<p>Roxy watched his face fall and it tore apart her insides. How dare she feel so strongly such empathy for this monster. That’s exactly what he was, no human could be this vile, he must be a monster. </p>
<p>“Oh…” he spoke so quietly she barely heard it, and he glared down at the ground, rubbing his arm. </p>
<p>“Everyone will know, Dirk.” Roxy stated, his head shooting to look up at her. It was a dead, evil, look she never got out of him. “I’m tired of you getting away with everything, getting to go on while the rest of us suffer because of how selfish you are. I can’t pity you anymore.“ </p>
<p>“I’m sorry, Roxy-“ </p>
<p>“I don’t want anymore apologi-“ </p>
<p>“I’m sorry” He spoke over her, loud “but It’s just not gonna work that way.” </p>
<p>“... what?” she said in genuine confusion, Dirk looking her in the eyes again. He was thinking, as he always was, but this was deep and unsure. He opened his mouth once, and nothing came out, but opening his mouth a second time he shouted for the guards. </p>
<p>Roxy perked up, again confused, stepping towards him. He approached her quickly, dropping the cloth that once was wrapped around the knife, letting it hit the floor. It was only then did she realize she was still holding on to it, knuckles white. He grabbed her wrist, tugging on her harshly, digging his fingers between her palm and the knife, taking it from her hand. </p>
<p>She let go of it easily, docile in response to his aggression. Dirk held it in his hands, still trembling, and flipped it around so the tip faced his stomach. He mumbled some reaffirming words to himself and Roxy watched him in confusion before her eyes widened. She was too late in her realization to stop him. </p>
<p>“Dirk, what are you-“ She shouted, reaching out to grab his arm as he pulled the knife back and plunged it into his own side. He cried in pain, hands in a death grip around the handle as his survival response kicked in, Dirk hunching over and letting out a noise like a dog when you kick it. “Oh my god, oh my god, what are you doing? Come here, please, let me help you-“ </p>
<p>Dirk didn’t say no— He didn’t say anything. It was obvious he was clenching his teeth, breathing only through his nose, such sharp and short breaths that she was worried he’d get nauseous and fall over. </p>
<p>Roxy grabbed the knife by its hilt, and put her hand on the butt, “1…2...3!” She counted, pulling the knife out in one quick pull to get it out as quick as possible. Dirk cried again, clasping his hands over the bleeding wound, blood pushing through his tightly clenched fingers, his knees wobbling as he tried to stand. </p>
<p>She panicked, trying to help him but he backed up, face going red. Roxy went to reach for him again as the doors of the throne room swung open, a few guards piling in, followed by a frantic Jane, dragging an equally concerned John by his hand. She was relieved, opening her mouth to tell them what happened, to ask for help, when Dirk let out a gasp. He seemed to be equally as thankful. </p>
<p>“Her! It was her-“ Dirk shouted, lifting a hand to point at his sister, his fingers covered in his own blood. </p>
<p>Roxy’s face dropped, along with her stomach, and she took a step back as every set of eyes was on her. She shook her head, looking down at her hand, which was holding the knife she had just ripped out of his stomach. Roxy dropped it, her hand now covered in blood, flinching away as it hit the ground as though it would hurt her. “...What?” She said in a breath “What?! No! No it wasn't me!?” </p>
<p>“Grab her!” Dirk demanded, and the guards broke from their entranced state, charging the blonde princess and restraining her. Roxy yelped as they harshly grabbed her arms and swiftly put them behind her back. It only took one of them to hold her down, the second at her side in a panic, hand on his sword. </p>
<p>“Let go of me! I command you to let go of me!” She cried, thrashing around violently, trying to use her feet to pull free. The guard responded by forcing her to her knees, the princess not relenting. “Stop! Dirk, what are you doing? He’s lying, you have to let me go!”</p>
<p>“She confessed to me, I tried to call for help, and she attacked me—” Dirk claimed, and Roxy knew he was lying, crying out in opposition. </p>
<p>“What?! No! He stabbed himself, I pulled the knife from him, he attacked himself!” She insisted, but even as she said it she realized how unlikely it sounded. Roxy fell prey to the biggest trap Dirk had placed yet, and now they'd never believe her side of the story. </p>
<p>“He’s bleeding, you have to get help!” Jane said in a sob, the third and final guard running from the room to assumably do just as she said. Roxy stopped fighting to find John’s eyes, which were already looking at her. </p>
<p>“John! Please, John! You spoke to me, you have to believe me!” She begged, John so frozen with fear that he hardly responded. She could see it in his eyes, the betrayal he felt, but she knew deep down he couldn’t truly believe this story. “Please!” </p>
<p>“Roxy” He let out a sob, looking at Jane who was clinging to Dirk, her brother trying to push her away. </p>
<p>“Take her, take her out of here” He demanded, but even as John took the pretty girl into his arms, they didn’t move. Both sets of blue eyes looked at her, both with an incredible sadness that she felt guilty to just have caused it. “She shouldn’t have to be here-“ </p>
<p>Dirk coughed, hunching over again and breathing heavily. John held Jane tightly so she couldn’t run right back to him, still lost in Roxy’s face. Oh to be inside his mind, Roxy wished, to know what he was thinking. </p>
<p>“I… I can’t believe this” John voiced, but as he looked between the knife and Roxy, regretfully his mind was already made up. She cried, trying to fight back again. </p>
<p>“She confessed, she told me that everyone believed it was me, and she came clean in confidence” Dirk spun the emperor's new wool right in front of everyone, and everyone was starting to believe him “I obviously couldn’t protect her, and thus-“ </p>
<p>“You are lying!” Roxy shouted, a growl forming in the back of her throat. Her anger was measurable only by her sadness. </p>
<p>The guards pushed her down further, the princess stumbling and folding, her thighs at either side of her, chest so close to the ground it was cold. She couldn’t fight anymore, prone and stuck on the ground, breathing heavily to recover from the struggle. </p>
<p>“No, this can’t be true-“ John protested again, but Jane cut him off. </p>
<p>“But it must be! This isn’t a fact of words, look at him!” She cried, pushing herself closer to John to replace her need to wrap around Dirk. </p>
<p>“But, can you really believe Roxy could be capable of… this?” John shook his head, and even Jane seemed unconvinced. “We love her-“ </p>
<p>“I loved her.” Dirk interrupted angrily, as if completely at a loss for words that John would imply otherwise “I loved her, and she killed my parents! I loved them, and she killed them!” </p>
<p>“You lying coward!” Roxy shrieked, finally letting herself cry. She cried so hard that she could hardly speak. “How dare you do this to me!? What are you doing!?” </p>
<p>“You are the coward!” Dirk shouted back, instantly wincing in pain. “Did you think you wouldn’t face punishment? Guards!” </p>
<p>The man beside her shot his head up, gripping his sword and pulling it from its sheath. The man behind her pulled on her arms, forcing her to look up. The sword shimmered as the light started to shine into the room, gleaming off of it. Roxy fought against him again, crying uncontrollably. </p>
<p>“I did love you. I tried to help you” Dirk insisted, Jane and John watching in horror as the guard gently placed the sword against her neck, aiming it a few times before pulling it back, going in for the first swing. Jane let out a cry, John shoving her face into his chest. </p>
<p>A lot crossed her mind then. </p>
<p>How rash of a decision to make alone. Is this really what he wanted? </p>
<p>She thought about Dirk, the Dirk she thought she once knew, and that sweet face of his. His shaggy blonde hair as it grew too quickly for the servants to keep up with, much happier to mindlessly pick flowers then to roll in mud and cause chaos in the stables. The gentle way he used to call their mother “Mama”, wrapping his arms around her neck as she carried him to bed, too tired to drag his little feet. She used to pick on him for being such a mommy’s boy. Roxy recalled the times he wouldn’t be able to sleep unless she was in his bed, before doing something like that might get a little awkward, when they were both still wearing nightgowns to sleep. Dirk has the sweetest voice, and the softest attitude. He would read quietly, rolling his eyes when Dave would shriek in excitement as a toddler, making him angry. She always felt so loved that he would want her in his space, even when he really just wanted alone time. </p>
<p>He was always her best friend. She never needed anyone else. Did this hurt him as much as it hurt her? Did he remember all the pleasantries? Or did he think only if the bees in the meadow, the way his mother smacked him, or the way Roxy would make him too warm when they shared the blanket. Did he forget what it was like to be a child; He mustve, seeing as no human being with love, and experiences, could murder the people he shared them with so easily. </p>
<p>She thought about the child she’d never meet, the love she’d never get, and the pain she was about to suffer through as her head was taken as a trophy for a crime she wondered if they’d ever find out she never committed. Roxy couldn’t close her eyes, looking up at her brother one last time before the blade came to her neck, and thus taking her life from her… </p>
<p>But as she looked at Dirk, with the wide and scared look in his eyes, he uncovered his mouth and stumbled forward with his hand extended towards her—</p>
<p>“Stop!” He screamed, and Roxy felt the blade halt right above her spine, the shock and cheer making her let out a tortured cry. “Take away your blade!“ </p>
<p>“But, your highness-“ </p>
<p>“Did you not hear me?!” He spit, so vicious and cruel, a shining example of his upcoming reign, if Roxy’s suspicion was at all correct. </p>
<p>The guard pulled away his sword, and stepped away from the sobbing princess. Roxy hung her head, shaking from the crying, suddenly pulled up to her feet by the man behind her. She couldn’t stand, her knees weak, being held up by him. </p>
<p>Dirk was staring at her with an open mouth, a hand covering it the second he noticed, in a true look of terror she’d never seen in him before. It was chilling. Maybe he hadn’t had time to think, to react, and maybe the idea of her being dead was just as scary of a thought as dying himself. </p>
<p>In that moment, he remembered his wound, and the pain doubled him over. This time, Jane came to his side by force and held him off the ground, the blonde prince gladly lolling his head into her chest. John was frozen, still looking at Roxy, cheeks wet with tears. </p>
<p>She had nearly escaped death. For now. </p>
<p>Dirks blood had started to travel down his hip and thigh, staining his clothes, and he was losing it quickly. Roxy was killed by the fact that everyone in this room currently thought she was the one who did it to him, because to see him in such pain was agony. </p>
<p>“Where is the doctor? We need to get him out of here” Jane whined, rubbing Dirks sweaty forehead. </p>
<p>“Come on, we’ll get him there ourselves, let me help-“ John broke his trance, helping Dirk up to his feet with Jane, Dirk seering. His eyes were stuck on Roxy still, and she almost forgot where she was as she tried to approach, ripped back again by the guard. </p>
<p>“Your highness” The guard said again, Dirk glaring as his eyes shifted over Roxy’s head, clearly at his patience's end “What should we… do with her?” </p>
<p>“Well” Dirk opened his mouth, tone becoming unsure. Once he had decided he didn’t want her dead… did he have a plan for her at all? He shook his head, eyes hazy and rolling around in his head as he brought his bloody hand to his face. He must be getting lightheaded “Goddamnit, just… bring her to the dungeon, I'll decide later.” </p>
<p>He spoke as if this was some casual matter, as if this was as trivial as the color of the shirt he would be wearing for that day. Roxy was knocked back into fighting mode as they began dragging her, the free guard standing to block her from John, Jane, and Dirk and she was given her final moments to plead. </p>
<p>“Please! Jane- JOHN! you have to believe me!” She cried, thrashing against the guards. They stared at her, a sadness apparent, but they didn’t speak. Her cries for mercy, for pity, fell on deaf ears. Only holding up Dirk as he rested his head on his wife’s shoulder, closing his eyes but not asleep. John knew it wasn’t her, was his fear holding him back? Or maybe his cowardice? </p>
<p>“It wasn’t me!” She cried as she was pulled from the room, kicking her legs as she was lifted off the ground to prevent her dragging her feet. Servants watched in horror as the princess, hands covered in blood, thrashed and cried for her freedom. Roxy caught the eyes of Kanaya, who was holding a towel in her hands, soaked with blood. </p>
<p>She kicked the guards leg, causing him to stumble, Roxy able to plant her feet on the ground. She pulled him in his unbalanced state, dragging him a few feet forward as she tried to get to Kanaya. She freed her arm, reaching out to grab her. </p>
<p>“Kanaya! Please, talk to John, you have to help me!” She begged, and the beautiful servant woman looked at her with wide eyes. She grabbed her wrist and tried to free her arm, but Roxy held her tightly. “Please! I didn’t do it, I’m innocent! You have to help me-“</p>
<p>Roxy felt strong arms around her stomach, violently ripping her away and forcing her to let go of Kanaya, who stumbled forward. Roxy kicked and punched wildly with no direction, one of her arms being grabbed by another guard as they continued to take her to her imprisonment. She sobbed, trying to form more pleas, but none were answered. </p>
<p>Carrying her to a part of the castle she’d never been to, down a dark and damp set of stone stairs, all the way in the back of the castle surrounded by nothing but cobwebs and unlit candles. One guard went ahead of her, unlocking the door and pushing it open with a loud and obnoxious creek. Rats scurried away as the light flooded in, a cramped hallway with cells on either side, spanning far enough to jail each citizen of the kingdom. However, it was mostly barren and silent. </p>
<p>Her shouting echoed off the walls, making them louder and more haunting as they bounced off the dark hallways that led to places Roxy couldn’t see. She wondered about that old saying- If a tree falls and nobody is around to hear it, does it make a sound? If a Princess screams in a dungeon for mercy, does it fall on deaf ears? </p>
<p>The guard shoved his key into the cell lock, turning it with a loud crunch, and sliding it open. The cell had absolutely nothing inside, only a slim window that let in the slightest amount of sunlight, barred so closely together that she wasn’t sure she could even get her wrist through. </p>
<p>She was thrown against the ground, the door slamming shut and locked once again. Roxy was quick on her feet, throwing herself into the bars and tirelessly continuing to beg for help, for an open mind to hear her, but the guards just watched and walked away. As their footsteps disappeared, she screamed louder, until they went up the steps and closed the door, the last bit of light disappearing. Only the light from the small window in her cell gave her anything to look at, and she crawled to the spot on the floor where the light hit. </p>
<p>Roxy pulled her knees to her chest, her beautiful white nightgown now ruined with dirt and blood as she hysterically tried to clean her hands on it. Hugging herself, she buried her face in her knees and cried. Cried harder than she thought was possible at this point, wishing to wake up back in her room at the beginning of the day as this all turned into some horrible nightmare to tell Dirk about. </p>
<p>But this wasn’t a dream, or a nightmare, and she’d never speak to Dirk about it. The cold stone floor, the chill of the wind as it came in from the window, escaped snowflakes falling in the room to experience the same imprisonment she was in their last moments. She clawed her hands into her hair, the long blonde strands making her angry, and she wished only now that she had received a haircut before today. </p>
<p>Devastated, she watched a snowflake fall into the room above her head, falling in front of her face and landing between her feet. Looking, she waited for it to melt into nothingness as it landed on the stone, but instead it stayed perfectly unique and intact as it laid there. </p>
<p>Roxy lifted her arm, pressing the snowflake between her thumb and the stone, forcing it to melt.</p>
<p>End of Act I</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Please let me know how you felt! The incredibly kind things you’ve said have really made this story possible and i’m so thankful for an audience who actually wants to hear my story!! Thank you and I hope you love the future of this fic!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Winter comes, Winter goes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Winter passes through the kingdom like a breeze, Dirk recovers, and Kanaya sneaks around.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Um.. wow! This update is so overdue and I’m very sorry. Fortunately, I had a double upload planned this time around, so we should be seeing another chapter in the next week or two! School and work have been kicking my ass, but no time for excuses here. </p><p>There is a big passing of time in this “Intermission” so hopefully I didn’t absolutely butcher this.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>INTERMISSION </p><p>It had been a cold, dark, winter that year. </p><p>Bitter in every sense of the word, the castle shrouded in a dark, boggy, atmosphere that consumed every person inside of it. The playful conversations in the hallways had stopped completely, the grim energy that surrounded everyone made happiness feel impossible.</p><p>It took days to scrub the blood from the carpet of the late queen and king's bedroom floor, and every piece of the bed had to be burned. Every surface in the bedroom was covered in gifts, flowers, crafts, and letters written to mourn their loss from family and the kingdom. Letters from children, letters from elders, and letters from his distant family that were coming laced up with their late wedding congratulations.</p><p>The holidays were put on halt, and there was no time to decorate or even celebrate when Dirk was in such critical condition. </p><p>Dirk spent days in bed, a doctor at his side at every waking moment, often betraying his vulnerability and crying because of the pain of the impending infection in his stab wound. He would wake up every few hours, if he could even get to sleep, in a cold sweat and shaking. He would sweat so terribly that his shirt would be drenched and his hair wet like he had just left a bath. It was horribly concerning, postponing his coronation further. The infection spread, and the doctors worked diligently to cure it. </p><p>Regardless of their efforts, the infection continued to spread into his leg, making it shake even when he was asleep, or completely rested. It caused so much pain in his hip that he couldn’t roll over, or stand, and he seethed everytime it needed to be cleaned or medicated. He would squeeze Kanaya’s hand until she felt like her fingers were going to break, but she tried to supply him comfort where others could not. </p><p>Kanaya spent every moment distracting Jane, who was ill herself worrying about him, but Kanaya had been told by Dirk himself to keep her healthy by all means necessary. He only spoke about her whenever the two met, usually so Kanaya could change his shirt, demanding she not learn anything of his condition. </p><p>Unfortunately, that only concerned her more, and Kanaya had to make it enough. Working to keep Jane focused on her baby, and not her husband, which was the hardest job she’d ever had in the castle.</p><p>After months, though, Dirk recovered from the infection and the sweating stopped. Bedridden still, the prince insisted the planning of his coronation continue. It took a lot to get him out of bed, every inch he had to sit up needing assistance, and he was always tired.</p><p>Even now, to see the young prince so miserable was upsetting, his tired face so unlike him. If he so much as coughed or moved his arm too quickly, the pain would have him doubled over in sobs. So vulnerable, so precious, it felt like he was a little boy again. </p><p>Kanaya grew up alongside him, only a few years older, helping her mother change his clothes when he was barely old enough to stand, holding the pretty baby dresses and admiring them. She remembered holding his tiny hands, helping him take slow and shaky steps, laughing when he would fall on his butt. Those big blue eyes turned brown with age, and even she could recall him picking her flowers and running away in complete embarrassment. When she was child, she was so flattered by the prince, and now, she was so shocked by who he became. </p><p>She wondered, if her 7 year old self, supervising the oldest toddler as he ate grass and pulled her hair, could watch him now, watch him smack her across the face with such force she hit the ground; would she even believe it was the same Dirk? </p><p>Now, she rubbed his head, pushing back his bangs as he cried, so angry. She wanted to beg him to just let it all out, to scream and rant and rave about all the things and people who hurt him, to destroy his room and rip up his blankets, and to just get it off his chest. But, she didn’t, silently watching him cry and hide his face. Kanaya ran her nails gently over his shoulder blades, and he looked over his shoulder at her. </p><p>“It hurts so… bad” he whined, tears rolling over his nose and down to his pillow, putting a hand over his face to hide himself again. Kanaya wondered what he was referring to. </p><p>“I know, your highness.” She soothed, pulling his blanket up over his shoulders, staying by his side with her hand on shoulder until he cried himself to sleep. </p><p>It wasn’t long before he demanded physical therapy, working daily to learn how to sit up and walk again, starting with baby steps but soon the doctors suggested he start taking long walks around the castle. At first, he’d stand and take a step, completely tumbling into Kanaya and needing to be sat back down, but then he was able to make it to the dresser, and then door, and down the hall, and soon around the castle too. He had always been a quick learner, but Kanaya was sure he was biting back some of the pain. </p><p>Dirk would walk through the castle silently, but the injury gave him an irritating limp that he didn’t want to deal with, and she’d watch him get so angry that he would just buckle his knees and hit the ground, having to accompany him on all of these go arounds. Wearing mourning clothes for his parents when he was around was more of an expectation of his position then his own personal conviction; Staring down at the black frill on his wrist, he’d turn to Kanaya and confess that he “imagined they were for Roxy”, who he claimed to miss so dearly.</p><p>Soon came, and went, the King’s coronation as well. </p><p>She’d recall, in the darkness, standing in front of the mirror with him, delicately clipping on his cape, watching him readjust his gloves to make himself look presentable. “Today is the day” Jane said softly, smoothing out the front of his shirt, smiling up at him on the pedestal. “Are you excited?” </p><p>“Yes, I think so” Dirk nodded, looking at himself in the mirror. Rubbing his face, he shook out his nerves.</p><p>“I’m so proud of you” She smiled, Dirk needing her help down as his knees wobbled. He was rushing himself too much, not ready for the amount of physical exertion he was putting himself through, not by a long shot. </p><p>She could still see that childlike wonder in his eyes as he entered the coronation hall, following the same rules of etiquette her very mother had taught him. He passed his cane to the palace guard by the door, insisting it was embarrassing. He lifted his chin, hands at his lap, only picking up his other foot when the one before it had been on the ground for a few seconds. She could see him counting in his head, his lips parting so slightly as he mumbled the numbers. Kanaya would call it cute if she weren’t so afraid of him. </p><p>Kanaya could see, moreover, the struggle he was facing. Each step was a test to see if he’d make the next one, and he tried to stay neutral but sometimes he’d step down too hard and his face would sour. She tried to convince him to let her walk him down in the changing room, but he insisted on doing it himself. </p><p>Looking around, everyone looked at him, wide eyed with smiles, but he didn’t smile back. As he reached the stage, and Jane offered to take his gloves, he slid them off and placed them in her hand. He was talked about wonderfully, and the crowd clapped politely when the crown was lowered onto his head. The second the ringlet hit his skull, flattening his hair against his head, Kanaya watched his neutral face smile, his shoulders slacking with relaxation. </p><p>Jane was next, looking much happier than her husband, smiling from ear to ear as her crown was awarded, Dirk calmly putting out a hand for her to take. She accepted, as was practiced, and he even squeezed her affectionately. </p><p>Kanaya looked to John, who was standing alone, but he wasn’t watching. He looked at the decorations on the wall, face sad. John hadn’t spent much time about the palace since that day, only eating dinner with Jane when Dirks' pain was too unbearable to eat at the table. She’d serve him dinner, the only time she ever saw him smile, breaking what must’ve been the same long train of thought, to thank her. He was a limelight of the situation, the only appreciation she would receive out of any of the royals in the house. </p><p>The hall was cleared, the coronation to be followed by a ball, guests flooding the castle to attend. Dirk was last to leave, to be escorted with his wife, standing ideally as Kanaya helped fix Jane's dress. Her and John chatted like hens, and Kanaya watched Dirk. </p><p>He looked down at his hands but when he turned over his palm, he quickly looked away again. Pulling on his gloves, he was tense, and Kanaya found it in her heart to pity him. How painful to have not one, but two, permanent memories of the worst day of your life? </p><p>Kanaya hadn’t attended the ball that night, because she didn’t want to. She simply went to bed, and from that day further, a hell inside the castle began. </p><p>At first, not much changed. As Dirk continued to struggle with movement, the worst of his treatment came as a result of his anger, and the brute of his aggression was turned on the bed maids who were nearest to him at all times. Kanaya, of course being one of those, suffered silently for the sake of the team, but was happy to escape it when she was allowed to leave him to sleep. The real torture started when Dirk could walk again. </p><p>Walk was a strong term. Dirk was in need of complete assistance whenever he was on his feet. Kanaya knew him, knew him well, and for him to be completely dependent on others, especially others he deemed as stupid and incapable in comparison to himself, was worse then death.</p><p>She accompanied Dirk on a walk around the castle courtyard everyday, without failure, even when snow was falling. He had almost been pleasant that morning, allowing her to hold his arm, listening to him talk quietly when they passed through the garden. </p><p>Kanaya and Dirk came inside after their walk, and as she always kept him company, she stayed with him as he was undressed and redressed for the evening. </p><p>Equius, unfortunately, had been selected for the task. Handpicked by Dirk himself. Why was unbeknownst to Kanaya, who was sure the young King hated the fool, but when Equius, inexperienced in such a job, pulled too hard to take off Dirk’s boot, causing a seizing pain to go up his body, Kanaya wasn’t fast enough to react.</p><p>The King grinded his teeth, putting a hand on his side to try and soothe himself, his anger, as it usually did, got the best of him. “You grab the heel, and then you pull off the boot.” He said calmly, before reeling back his leg and kicking Equius square in the face. </p><p>The big man fell backwards with such force that his head began to bleed, Dirk struggling with himself to stand and scream over the man, as if he hadn’t been taught a lesson enough. Kanaya had rushed to Dirk, forcing him to sit, and demanded that someone take Equius to get his head checked. Dirk, overcome by rage, demanded that Kanaya finish the job for him. </p><p>So, she learned he was still in just as much pain, which caused a great bit of anger, but now he had access to hundreds of outlets. </p><p>After that incident Dirk was, first, verbally abusive. Maids would come crying from his bedroom, hiding in the kitchen and refusing to work out of embarrassment for whatever Dirk might have said to them, and extending that to his guards, he’d dismiss them for being caught having conversations that weren’t work related, denying them the honor of being a respected palace guard. The firing was brutal, and in some cases life ruining, but Kanaya would’ve rather lost her job then have to suffer the physical abuse Dirk learned he could get away with as the winters get colder. </p><p>John, unexpectedly, was at the end of most of the verbal abuse. He spent less and less time with Jane, because spending time with her meant spending time with Dirk, and he simply couldn’t stomach it. Kanaya could be forced to watch in obedient silence as Dirk would insult him at any slight inconvenience, John quietly taking every word of it, excusing himself in tears. He stopped leaving his room, after a while, and he never ate dinner with Jane again. </p><p>Without his father to reign him in, physical punishment seemed to be to Dirk like how a little boy gets away with being rude to his siblings because his father is gone. His backhand was mean, and partnered with the deeply personal insults he was able to curate, you weren’t only left completely beat, but broken too.</p><p>Jane couldn’t control him, infact, she was almost just as mean. Jane was gentler, with a longer patience, but being raised as the only princess to an entire kingdom had given her quite the entitlement issue. What Dirk got away with, Jane got away with, and they fed off each other in a way that was unexpected. Especially once John stopped coming around her, her only remaining positive influence was gone. </p><p>Kanaya even found herself missing the late Queen and King, who she had really thought she hated. Where Bro was unforgiving, cold, and unkind, he had a maturity that Dirk all but lacked. Although the people respected him, as they always did, the employees of the castle did not. He was a teenager in a crown, she’d hear them say, “ That goddamn child.”</p><p>But, above all other responsibilities, and her worries, and fears, her mind was completely consumed by Roxy. Closing her eyes, or looking into Dirk’s, she could see that pleading face, one of a terrified girl, who was innocently serving time beneath their feet. </p><p>How was she so sure Roxy was innocent? She wasn't, but she wasn’t so sure Dirk was the victim in all of this either. She remembered her conversation with John that morning, and how sure she was, and now the man won’t even speak to her about it. Perhaps, even he believed Roxy had broken his heart, and killed her family. No motive, with an alibi, and a confession that only the other suspect heard, it seemed too hard to pin her down as guilty beyond a shadow of a doubt. </p><p>Kanaya could do nothing, John could do something, but he won’t do anything. She needed to talk to Roxy somehow, because with all that time to think, Kanaya was sure she had some ideas. With the year over, Roxy now serving 6 months in prison, Kanaya couldn’t continue to torture her with silence. She had to know somebody was still trying to fight for her, how Kanaya was going to fight for this family until she died. </p><p>She wouldn’t wait. </p><p>Kanaya slowly got up from bed, slipping on her night shoes, and moving quietly so as to not wake Aradia. Padding to the door, she grabbed the door, slowly opening it to avoid all noise. Closing the door, pushing on the frame to make the shut silent, and looking side to side before quickly speed walking down the hallway. </p><p>The castle was dark, almost so dark she couldn’t see, if not for the windows casting in the moonlight on the floor so at least she could see where she was stepping. It was always so spooky in the castle at night, especially when it was so cold. She should’ve grabbed her sweater, but she hadn’t been thinking that far ahead. She snuck passed the guard, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall, definitely taking a little nap, to pass down the stairs. As she got closer and closer to the door, it got colder and colder, and much darker, if even that was possible. </p><p>Looking back behind her, she pulled the lantern from the place it was hanging by the door, the tall woman having absolutely no trouble looking on the tall shelf for a spill. Striking it, she lit the lantern and blew out the rolled paper, blinking as her eyes adjusted to the sudden flame. It was nice to finally see, directing the light up the stairs to make sure she didn’t have any unwanted followers.</p><p>When Kanaya knew she was alone, she opened the heavy door to the dungeon, having to push extra hard to even get it to budge. As the door creaked open, a gust of wind blew into her face, and she covered the flame quickly so it wouldn’t go out. </p><p>Stepping inside, she held the light in front of her, lighting up the floor and the walls, and casted some light into the cells. Kanaya stepped away from the door, catching right before it fell closed, letting it shut gently. She sighed with relief, turning back around to search for the princess. </p><p>Watching for rats, and other disgusting fermin, she walked slowly, the damp and freezing room so uncomfortable to be in. It was also scary. </p><p>Kanaya looked from side to side, finally catching the figure of someone on their side inside one of the cells. It almost made her jump, but as she walked closer, she could tell it was her darling Roxy. Kanaya rushed over, crouching down and setting down the lantern, trying to wake her. “Roxy! Your highness.. Roxy!” </p><p>Kanaya whispered yelled, frowning when the princess didn’t even seem so much as stir. She picked up her lantern, running it across the bars to make a loud and obnoxious noise, one she had seen the guards make when trying to get prisoners attention before. She hated calling Roxy a prisoner, though. </p><p>This finally got the princess up, flinching and rubbing her face, overgrown hair falling in her face as she stretched. Turning to look at Kanaya, her face slowly began to glow, a smile on her face. </p><p>“Kanaya!” she shouted, crawling to a run as she came to the bars, putting her hands on them. “Oh my god-“ the princess’s voice was hoarse from lack of use, sounding like she had something in her throat. She didn’t have that sweetness she once had, almost sounding completely different. “Finally, I was starting to think you had forgotten about me!” </p><p>“No, oh god no, you are all I think about” Kanaya smiled, reaching her arm through the bar and held her face. Her skin was dirty, her dress was filthy and looked torn at the bottom. Her hair was ratted at the back, but her eyes had some glimmer of that hopefully glow in them. “You consume me heart and soul, your highness,”</p><p>“Wow, your highness…” She smiled longingly “I haven’t been called ‘Your Highness’ by anyone in ages it feels!” </p><p>“Well, I’ll never lose my loyalty to you, Roxy” Kanaya reassured, the princess looked so tired. </p><p>“I can’t believe it, I… oh my god” Roxy smiled “It's been so long since… since I've seen anyone.” She covered her mouth, but she was still smiling. </p><p>“I’m so sorry it’s been so long. I’ve been thinking about you since that very day, from here to now” Kanaya assured, wrapping her hands around Roxy’s around the bars to hold her. “You are freezing.”</p><p>“No kidding” Roxy laughed softly “If i’m lucky, winter should be over soon?” </p><p>“Almost, your highness” Kanaya nodded </p><p>“I thought so… I noticed because, if I can throw myself up there-“ Roxy turned, pointing at the window “I can sometimes throw myself up, and hang from the bars, and in the morning I can watch the cows graze…” </p><p>“Really? You hold yourself up?” Kanaya asked, surprised the princess could display such upper body strength. “That’s incredible” </p><p>“It took a few tries but I had the time to practice” Roxy looked down, her smile faltered “What month is it?” </p><p>“February.” She answered reluctantly </p><p>“It still feels like a dream, yaknow?” Roxy looked up, sitting down on her butt and pushing up her long blooming sleeves, completely ruined with dirt stains. “Like one day i’ll wake up, and this will all have been a dream. Sometimes, I realize where I am, and I can’t believe he would’ve done this to me…” </p><p>“Yes, that’s why I’m down here” Kanaya set down her lantern, shifting more comfortably to be sitting on her knees “Please, if you can, tell me what really happened, everything you can remember.” </p><p>Roxy nodded, looking away in deep thought, sighing. She really did look tired, and Kanaya just wanted to bust down these bars, and hold her. Such a young and tired thing, no princess should be forced to rot away like this, especially her. </p><p>“John had found me and told me about his suspicion of Dirk, so I ran to find him. I met him, alone, in the throne room and right away he confessed to me, I hardly said a word” Roxy shook her own head in disbelief “And of course, I reacted poorly to the news that someone I loved… trusted so much… had been the very man who murdered and took away my entire family. We got into a fight, and he screamed for the guards—“ she reenacted the emotions with her hands, putting her fists up and gripping the air like she was holding his forearms and shaking him. </p><p>“Did you attack him? With the knife” Kanaya asked, reflexively putting a hand on her side. </p><p>“No! He stabbed himself! He had the knife, and he screamed for the guards just before stabbing himself. I was mortified, but I made the mistake of helping him, and when everyone showed up he pinned it all on me… everything…” </p><p>“He… he really stabbed himself?” </p><p>“Yes, I couldn’t believe it myself.” </p><p>“I had a feeling, you know, I always knew it was him. Even if I didn’t truly let myself think about it” She put her hand back through the bar, holding Roxy’s. “I promise I won’t let him take you, too.” </p><p>“Has he been… kind? Yaknow, since he's become king?” Roxy asked, and the dread in her voice was enough to indicate that she knew better. </p><p>“I… I can’t lie to you, your grace” Kanaya shook her head “He’s so terrible. It’s a living nightmare, it’s a chore to even wake up and deal with him.” </p><p>“Goddamnit, I need to get out of here and put a stop to all of this!” Roxy shook her head in distress. </p><p>Roxy scooted closer, squeezing her hand tightly. The princesses small hands were freezing, and the tip of her nose was red, and she had goosebumps up and down her arms. Kanaya knew it must feel good to hold someone so warm, to hold someone at all. </p><p>“It’s just, I have no idea where to start.” Kanaya admitted, picking up the flame and pushing it against the bars so Roxy could feel some heat on her face. </p><p>“Please, you have to speak to John” Roxy insisted, and Kanaya was dreading that answer “I know he must still distrust me, but I’m sure, deep down, he knows it was never me. I need him to believe me.”</p><p>“I can try, your highness, but he hasn’t really spoken to anyone since-“</p><p>“I know it’s a big ask, but if anything, I just need to speak to him. One time, maybe then, we can find a way to undo this.” Roxy fumbled, Kanaya nodding “And even, even if I’m going to die down here or under the blade I… I need to die knowing he’s at least heard what I have to say…” </p><p>“I swear, on my life, I swear to see that he comes down here. Atleast, to hear you.” </p><p>“Thank you -“ Roxy finally choked, putting her balled up fist against her mouth, holding back a sob.</p><p>“And if he won’t help me, god as my witness, I’ll get you out of here.” </p><p>And Kanaya kept Roxy company until the sun came up, the princess telling her everything she needed to say, sharing how cold it was, and even getting a laugh out. Roxy didn’t ask about Dirk, but she did ask about Jane, and the baby, which got her to smile. What a perfect soul, Kanaya mourned, hoping to save her just like she promised. Kanaya had zero intention of going back on her claims, but it wouldn’t be easy. </p><p>“Has she been staying healthy? Is the baby healthy?” Roxy asked happily, clasping her hands together. </p><p>“As far as we know, and she’s huge! Of course, in the kindest way” Kanaya assured </p><p>“Wouldn't it be incredible if she had twins?” Roxy squealed, pulling up her knees and hugging herself. </p><p>The women talked, and talked, until the dungeon even seemed to get brighter. Looking out the window, the sky began to show hints of blue, signaling the early morning. Parting was miserable, and Kanaya hadn’t even noticed they had been holding hands the entire time. Pulling away, Roxy quickly held her own hand, wiping her eyes but tried not to reveal she was crying. </p><p>Kanaya stood up, grabbing the lantern, and said many goodbyes before reluctantly turning away. Roxy was silent as she ran up the steps, slipping between the doors, and letting them fall shut. She lined the lantern back up with the dust around it so it seemed unmoved, and retraced her steps to sneak back to her room. </p><p>Shutting the door, Aradia was still fast asleep, and Kanaya sighed as she pressed her back to the wood. Taking a breather, she rubbed her face, walking over to her bed and falling into it, forgetting to take off her shoes. Pulling herself under the blanket, she forgot how tired she was. As she cuddled up, finally warm after being in the freezing cavern, she thought about all of the things on her plate right now, unable to really get to sleep until her eyelids were too heavy to keep open. She was able to sleep for what felt like minutes before Aradia was waking her up to get ready. </p><p>But, that morning, the real challenge began. </p><p>It was impossible to do her daily tasks, lighting every candle with a far off look, thinking of all the ways her conversation with John could go wrong. Sweeping the kitchen, she imagined him going crazy on her, screaming and yelling at her to never talk to him again. Dusting the window seal, she imagined him refusing Roxy’s innocence, not even agreeing to see her. And while she drew Jane a bath, she imagined him telling Dirk of their conversation and getting herself thrown in prison as well. She couldn’t fail, she had to pull through for Roxy. She had to do this for Roxy. </p><p>Finally, between Dirks walk and dinner, she found open space to sneak away and find John. Aradia agreed to cover for her if anything went awry, and Kanaya promised to give her the wax cheese she would receive as part of her dinner tonight as payment. Although, Aradia definitely would’ve done it for free. </p><p>Speeding around the hallways, as to avoid crossing paths with Jane, who would certainly be done changing after her bath soon, she turned the corner and walked to John’s room. So hidden away, she wondered if he ever felt isolated, which had been the original motive when he arrived at the castle when Rose was still sick. She supposed if he wanted to move, he would. </p><p>At the door, looming even over her, she raised a hand and knocked. Praying he was inside, scared to try and search for him, she put her hands on her lap and straightened out her posture to wait for him. Listening closely, she heard floorboards shift, and the steady sound of approaching footsteps. The door handle twisted, the door pushing open, and John’s remarkably kind face looked out at her. He was relaxed, but when he saw her, he smiled, pushing the door open further. </p><p>“Hello, can I help you?” He said, so polite. He wasn’t usually one to be very formal, but his manners were off the charts. John had his hand on the door, looking the maid up and down, his eyes and face betraying how tired he truly was. Tired, or unhappy. </p><p>“Ah, may I come in, I have something I wish to talk to you about in private… your grace” She curtsied, bowing her head. The royal seemed surprised, but looking behind him, he invited her in with a smile. </p><p>Entering his room, where she had never been, it was clear he had been sitting in here and doing absolutely nothing of substance at all. No books were laying out with bookmarks or turned over on the pages, no needle and thread with a half finished embroidery, or even a quill freshly dipped in ink. What must he keep himself preoccupied with in this lonely little room, certainly he didn’t just stare off aimlessly for hours until he was called to eat, read, or sleep. </p><p>A chair was pulled up to the window, and the curtain had been tied open, and she wondered if he sat here alone and watched the castle grounds. Maybe he looked at the sky, or watched the horses as they roamed around, watched by their keepers. He had a beautiful view, where you could see the foggy roofs of the upper class over the cliff, and beyond that, the deep horizon of nothing. Kanaya used to love standing in the hallway at Rose’s bedroom, watching the sunset over the same spot, but now in the winter it was more beautiful than ever. </p><p>Maybe John did find a special enjoyment in watching the snow, and the things people do in it, because he had never lived in a place with snow long enough to experience such things before. </p><p>The man shut his door as she came inside, her head still low until he spoke again, completely overcome by anxiety. Kanaya shuffled on her feet, looking around the remarkably clean bedroom, nodding happily. </p><p>“What did you want to talk about?” He asked kindly, pulling on his gloves to make them fit tighter. </p><p>Even John was taller than her, which was incredible, because her height was often a point of conversation amongst the castle because of just how tall the woman was. It wasn’t much, the top of his head barely an inch above hers, but finally, for the first time in her life she had to tilt her head up, even if just slightly, to look at John. It, in a strange way, made her feel feminine. </p><p>Alas, she wasn’t here to gawk at his height, or have an internal conversation about the state of his bedroom. </p><p>“It’s, um, something rather important, that we’ve spoken about before and I beg of your patience and complete secrecy because what I wish to tell you is of utmost importance to me…” She overspoke, adding in every possible sentence lengthener she could to pad out her conversation so she could avoid the big picture for as long as possible, but John stopped her before she could do much more stalling. </p><p>“No need for all that, Kanaya. We are friends, aren't we?” He smiled, but it wasn’t natural. Kanaya knew he wasn’t faking a smile because he didn’t mean that he saw her as a friend, but instead because he truly didn’t seem like he wanted to smile right now. “Just be straightforward with me, please.”</p><p>“Ah, I’m sorry. I know I'm just… it’s just” She pinched the bridge of her nose, letting her posture slack. She took a deep breath, shaking out her hands and huffing out a sharp breath “I went down last night, and spoke with Roxy.” </p><p>John tensed up like a prey animal, mouth tightening and eyes widening, his comfortable facade crumbling. He pushed himself off the door, fiddling with his gloves again. “You.. what?” </p><p>“I couldn’t stop thinking about her, John! She owns me heart and soul, consuming my thoughts asleep and awake. I couldn’t escape my guilt, I had to speak to her.” Kanaya defended herself, lowering her voice to assure any possible eavesdroppers wouldn't be able to hear her soft voice. “And, truthfully, she begged me to come to you.” </p><p>“To me?” He seemed shocked, but Kanaya knew he wasn’t so naive. It had been eating him alive as well, especially since at the very beginning it was them both knew Dirk was being dishonest. “Kanaya, surely you didn’t really speak to her?” </p><p>“Have you really not wanted to go see her? All this time you’ve been completely content with just waiting around for her execution?” Kanaya scorned </p><p>“Of course not!” John argued, tense. “But, Kanaya, how can you throw away your safety like that? How do we even know she isn’t guilty, how can you be sure?” </p><p>“Certainly you can’t believe that, right? You know so much better” Kanaya stressed “She’s innocent, John, and she’s suffering because of our silence.” </p><p>“What are we supposed to do? Get help? From who? The King?!” John exclaimed “We are going to get ourselves killed—“ </p><p>“So we just let her suffer down there? Is that what you want?” Kanaya chastised “One day Dirk is gonna change his mind, lose all of his empathy, and Roxy is going to be dead. She’s our last hope! Will you atleast come to see her, just once,”</p><p>John looked away from her, pushing up his glasses and shuffled uncomfortably on his feet. His hands were unsteady, and Kanaya couldn’t imagine what he might be feeling right now. She understood the guilt, the sadness, the love, but she didn’t understand the longing. Roxy really had loved him, despite what she insisted. Regardless, that wasn’t important right now. </p><p>“Please, it’s the only favor she's asked of me.” Kanaya insisted again “She is under the impression that you hate her, that you think she’s a murderer, at least grant her the closure of saying it to her face!” </p><p>“I don’t think she’s a murderer!” John deflected, throwing down his hands “Never, I never have! Don’t say that again.” </p><p>“Then why won’t you come with me, to see her, help me get her out of here?” Kanaya asked </p><p>“Because it’s impossible. What if we get caught, hm? Do you understand the kind of punishment we will face for the ultimate treason? You understand how cruel Dirk has become, don’t you?.” John must not mean to sound so condescending, but it was really coming off that way “And again, her getting out of that cell, let alone the entire kingdom is slim to none, she’ll get caught and we’ll all die before she even sets foot outside of the palace walls!” </p><p>“I’ve done it before, John, I promise you I can do it again. Besides, what’s worse, dying alone in that cold dungeon, or the possibility that she might be caught escaping? The chances of success aren’t as slim as you think! Again, Dirk is stalling, he doesn’t want her executed as much as we don’t, we can’t wait around for him to change his mind.” </p><p>“I.. Well, what? You’ve done it before?” He backtracked, shaking his head. </p><p>She stopped, having to finally nail the head into the coffin. If John intended to tell Dirk about this conversation and turn her away, this would be the biggest mistake of her life. But, she needed him to trust her abilities, she had to take the chance. </p><p>“Dave, I helped him escape.” She admitted, barley above a whisper. Such a secret she could hardly tell it to herself. </p><p>“You what?!” He was shocked, putting up a hand “You… you really helped him escape?”</p><p>“Yes! That’s why I know I can do it again. I owe her the same treatment, and so do you. We have to make up what we did to her.” Kanaya jabbed her finger into his chest “I know you live with the same guilt I do! That if we hadn’t told her about Dirk, she’d still be living here in naivety. We both feel it” </p><p>“Please, I can’t think about it-“ </p><p>“You have to! You have to face it, set aside your pride and comfort to save her, goddamnit!” She swore, turning away and lowering her head to calm down. She couldn’t handle stress, putting her face in her hands.</p><p>John was silent for a while, only his staggered breathing adding noise to the room. Kanaya was praying she didn’t lay it on too hard, hoping that she didn’t villainize him instead of relating to his sorrow, which she knew he was full of. Kanaya could imagine his sorry eyes, blue and beautiful, shiney and wet with tears. He sniffed, a sad sound escaping his throat. Kanaya turned around, looking at him again. The royal was crying, softly, gasping to keep himself from sobbing, trying to silence his tears. </p><p>“I, I… I miss her so much” He gasped, covering his mouth. It was devastating to see him so broken up, the big man hunched over into himself in self pity. She pitied him too, approaching him and putting a hand on his shoulder. </p><p>He didn’t hesitate to wrap an arm around her, pulling her into a comforting hug. She didn’t realize how badly she needed it too until her face was pressed into his warm shoulder, and he was squeezing her tightly. Maybe it was the long need for physical affection, or maybe the way he was crying himself, but before she knew it she was crying with him. Warm tears ran down her cheeks and she buried her face into him, hugging him back with such force that he made a surprised noise. They comforted each other for a while. </p><p>The hug couldn’t last forever, and when Kanaya pulled away, she used the ball of her hands to rub her eyes, sniffing and clearing her throat. Wiping her hands on her apron, she looked John in his eyes, which were red and puffy, but no longer wet. </p><p>“I won’t let him ruin our lives anymore…” John said quietly, and Kanaya didn’t need to be a scholar to know who he was talking about. </p><p>“So?” </p><p>“I’ll do it. We’ll do it, we’ll get her out of here” John assured “Where do we start?” </p><p>“We have to come up with a very solid plan, no holes, we have to make sure this goes smoothly the first time.” Kanaya insisted “I think we need to do it at night, obviously, getting the prince out of the castle in broad daylight under all that surveillance was not ideal, and I had help that time, so this has to go as smoothly as it possibly can.” </p><p>“Of course, but, how can we get her out of the cell?” John asked, sitting down on his bed. </p><p>“Simple. I just need to get the keys. It won’t be so hard, I have friends who will be willing to help me. Once I get the keys, I'll give them to you and prepare a means of quick escape. Of course, we could just use another horse. On foot will get you nowhere in good time, and a carriage or sled is completely impractical…” </p><p>“Well, if you are preparing the escape, does that mean… I have to get her alone?” He asked, rolling his lips together nervously. </p><p>“I know it seems like a lot, because it really is, but you have to be confident while you do it. One slip up, and we are all ruined” Kanaya was serious, and honest, and John nodded his head. </p><p>“Is it really as simple as sneaking down there, unlocking the cell, and running away with her?” </p><p>“It can be. A lot of people will be willing to help me, especially with the conditions they’ve been under. I say… next week. On Sunday of next week, we’ll enact our plan to save her?” Kanaya suggested, and John had no opposition. </p><p>“Okay, but, how are we really gonna do it?” </p><p>“That’s a good question.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Again, so sorry about the long wait! The next chapter is probably gonna be A LOT longer... laughs nervously.</p><p>Keep in mind this was designed as an Intermission! So it was gonna be a little shorter by nature. Just sucks to come back after such a long break with something so short, but look out for the next chapter soon!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Guilt and Commitment</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>John and Jane talk about the future, Roxy is free, and Vriska agrees to help.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yahoo! I got this finished just in time! I’ve been looking forward to this chapter and the one following so hopefully the writing reflects that. </p>
<p>My biggest fear is that this all seems super rushed, but I think i’m doing an alright job all things considered hehe</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>ACT II</p>
<p>John was no stranger to change, but the following days were painful as he tried to commit himself to the idea of leaving his entire life behind.</p>
<p>Because, that’s what he was doing, he was leaving behind his entire life. Maybe it didn’t seem so scary because he had done it before. The drastic changes between Thailand and Russia couldn't be much more between being royalty and being a treasonous villain, right? He would keep telling himself that, anyways. </p>
<p>He felt far more compelled to spend his time with Jane now that it was limited, but his anxiety didn’t make it easy. The walk between her lunch, which Dirk didn’t participate in, to the library to be read to, where Dirk was waiting for her, was a pleasant and short amount of time to see her. Jane would light up whenever they crossed paths, smiling wide and ushering him to follow her, and god was she pregnant. </p>
<p>Of course, that wouldn’t change until she had her baby, but it felt like the time had passed by so fast. She hadn’t decided on a name yet, maybe something like Elizabeth or Katrina, she said. Those are perfect names, John would agree. </p>
<p>She had aged so much in these past months, the baby plus the stress obviously putting a toll on her, but you couldn’t tell by that sweet face. Still, Jane looked so much older than she did when they met. Dirk too, not by much, but he never got exceptionally close to Dirk long enough to learn his face. </p>
<p>He’d open the door for her, catching Dirk’s gaze, and looking down at the ground until she was inside. Dirk was a mean bitch alright, and John was surprised he hadn't called it sooner. Maybe because Roxy was so insistent on how sweet he really was “deep down”, or however she put it. But, those eyes, that anger, it was unparalleled to anyone he had ever met. Sure, Dirk was in a lot of pain, and in a terrible position, John had experienced something similar before too, but being angry and spiteful was no way to go about positive change. John wasn't Dirk, however, and he’d close the door and go back to his room without saying anything. </p>
<p>Every night, he laid down for bed, and he felt like in a blink it was morning, as if the night time hadn’t come at all. First, he felt like the days dragged on, but now he felt like the days went too fast. Sunday creeped closer, and as he stared at his ceiling, he gave himself a pep talk to prepare himself. </p>
<p>Some nights, Kanaya would sneak away, and they would talk. Run over the same plan over and over, John mentioning an unlocked door he noticed, and Kanaya pointing out a change in rotation. It was when John was told he was responsible for getting the keys that his confidence dwindled. </p>
<p>Kanaya had admitted that after everyone started getting fired over the most trivial of things, most of the guards in the night rotation she barely knew at all. They weren’t the children she grew up with inside the castle, or the near retirement fathers of her friends: they were strangers. The only one she knew, Cronus, refused to help her anymore after witnessing Gamzee’s execution. </p>
<p>Still, he focused hard on the real reason, and tried to remind himself that the consequences would be worth it in the end. Oh, Roxy. Just to see her again. That smile was worth every trial and bout of anxiety he was suffering, just to hear her laugh or tell a story. </p>
<p>It got him through the nights, and to the morning. He opened his eyes, squinting with the sun on his face, feeling around for his glasses and sliding them on. As he sat up, stretching, he looked up. It was Sunday, wasn't it? </p>
<p>Walking across the castle, he met with Kanaya, who was walking alongside Aradia, a younger maid she was fond of. John was fond of her too. She pushed a cart, full of laundry, and John kept them company until the laundry room when his attention was requested elsewhere. Three heads turned, Jane approaching him happily. She didn’t seem to notice the women next to him, or didn't care to notice them, folding her small hands together and looking up at him. </p>
<p>“John, you're up early?” She said </p>
<p>“Oh, seems I am. Sunday’s are perfect for that, hm?” </p>
<p>“Surely. Will you please eat breakfast with me?” She asked sweetly, taking his hands and swaying from side to side, that same sweet smile on her face. </p>
<p>“Oh! Well, I’m not sure. I wouldn’t want to impose-“ John tried to reject her invitation, but she squeezed his hands. </p>
<p>“Pleeease, Dirk is at an important meeting, I don’t wanna sit at that big table all alone” She whined, that teenage nature still inside her. </p>
<p>“I see, um, of course!” He accepted, looking back at Aradia and Kanaya, who shyly kept to themselves. Was he really the only royal in the castle who was kind to them anymore? Atleast to the point of making simple conversation. “Right now?” </p>
<p>“Yes silly, breakfast time only lasts so long” She teased, pulling him along, giving him little time to bid a polite farewell to the maids. It didn’t seem to bother them, as they pushed the cart through the swinging doors and continued their conversation. </p>
<p>It was funny, almost, how the palace was able to return to a state of normalcy, at least whatever that meant now. The maids woke up and did their chores, Jane listened to live music, Dirk had the command he always wanted, and within the walls everything seemed almost the same as it always had. When Dirk was away, the maids talked amongst themselves, gossiping in small groups. </p>
<p>The pleasant commotion of the castle returned, and he could imagine Dave playing his piano, or Roxy laughing and dancing around with her brothers. How could a castle harboring such a cold secret, such brutal events, seem so sweet in the early morning? </p>
<p>John followed the young queen delightfully to the dining hall, letting her chatter on as she usually did. You can tell when she really wanted to talk about something, because she spit it all out super fast and all at once, probably so she had the chance to say everything before you cut her off. John never cut her off though, because he liked her to be satisfied with the information she told you.</p>
<p>Through the doors, John still marveled in the beauty of it. He ate in here a lot before Dirk scared him away like a hunting dog, but it still amazed him in every entry. The tall ceilings with lots of natural lighting, every corner adorned with a statue or carved pillar, and differing shades of orange and gold. It was something he’d definitely miss about the palace. </p>
<p>“You and Dirk are the same” Jane broke his train of thought “Both of you are always so lost in thought, yaknow? Always looking off to something more important.” </p>
<p>“More important than you? Never.” John teased, pulling her chair out for her, the woman laughing with red cheeks. “I was just admiring the architecture, that’s all.” </p>
<p>“Isn’t it just incredible? Feels right at home” Jane commented, fixing her dress to get more comfortable. </p>
<p>“For you, certainly” He agreed. This castle never felt much like home to him, anyways. Pretty, definitely, but nothing like home. </p>
<p>“I hope, even when this place doesn’t feel like home, we feel like your family” She expressed, putting out a hand to take him again. Was today the best day for her to be sharing these thoughts with him? Was she trying to test his strength and commitment? He wouldn’t break a sweat over it. </p>
<p>“Of course” He smiled, looking up when the breakfast was delivered to them, the door being pushed open. The maid, the small Nepeta, blinking in confusion at his presence. She fixed her face into a smile, placing a plate in front of him, and Jane, and looking back down the table. She looked at the royals with that same confused face, smiling, and speeding out of the room. </p>
<p>“Charming, isn’t she?” Jane giggled </p>
<p>“Sure, something like that.” John agreed </p>
<p>“Did you know, there is an Opera in the upper city? Every weekday!” Jane perked up, putting her hands on the edge of the table, John looking at her more directly.</p>
<p>“Really?” John smiled, taking a drink. </p>
<p>“Yes, every weekday! For years, and Dirk never told me until yesterday. How cruel of him” Jane whined “I used to love, love, love going to the opera house with my brother and sister, seeing all the people and gowns and the performances. Oh, John, would you go with me? Tomorrow, or Tuesday?” </p>
<p>“Oh, well, Jane-“ </p>
<p>“Please please pleeease?” She asked, kicking her feet. </p>
<p>“Well, it’s just” John frowned, a new guilt consuming him. He’d sink into the floor with all of this weighing on his mind “I guess i’ve never been. Is it like a play?” </p>
<p>“It’s something like a play, but not quite a musical. It’s more like a ballet with singing!” She waved her hands around “and they are caked in makeup and these beautiful gowns and oh! John you’d love it.” </p>
<p>“Well, then we really should go, hm?” He stumbled, averting his eyes. </p>
<p>“Oh! Yes, absolutely” She cheesed “Now I'm excited!”</p>
<p>“Me too, hopefully I like it” John smiled “It would be disappointing to go and to be bored.” </p>
<p>“I guarantee you won’t be!” Jane said “If it’s terrible, we can find a better Opera house elsewhere.” </p>
<p>“And give that one a horrible reputation?” </p>
<p>“Why certainly!” Jane stuck up her chin, faking a high society voice, fixing her imaginary monocle. </p>
<p>The two of them laughed, Jane covering her mouth instinctively. She was such a sweet woman, he wondered if she’d stay that way. John hadn’t heard the best things about her recently, which pained him, but at least he knew she’d be a great mother. </p>
<p>“Are you ready to have your baby?” He asked. </p>
<p>“Oh god yes!” She laughed “Being pregnant is so awful, I feel so ill all the time. I can't stop craving the palace lilies, I want to pop one in my mouth everytime I see them.” </p>
<p>“The flowers outside?” John laughed </p>
<p>“Yes! I know it may seem gross, but I can’t help it! Flowers and grapes, so many grapes” She giggled</p>
<p>“Well, that’s not so bad” John said “Be honest, have you eaten one yet? A lily?” </p>
<p>“Not yet! But my patience is wearing thin! I think if I show her how bad they taste she’ll stop wanting them” Jane insisted, rubbing her baby bump affectionately. </p>
<p>“Just maybe.” He agreed </p>
<p>They finished breakfast, but they talked for a while more, their plates coming and going, the table cleaned as they continued to sit and talk. Had it really been so long since they did this? John forgot how much he loved Jane. </p>
<p>Still, he wished he had declined the invitation. Jane was making everything so much harder for them, and as breakfast was over, the day moved on, they got closer and closer to the inevitable. He couldn’t back out now, so maybe, he’d spend his last day here with Jane. </p>
<p>As long as he could, anyways. </p>
<p>“Does Dirk want a girl?” John asked, walking with Jane up to the nursery she was so delighted to show him. </p>
<p>“Oh, he says he doesn’t care” Jane rolled her eyes “But I know he wants a girl, we both do. Roxy used to say so anyways…” </p>
<p>She whispered her name, as if it belonged to the devil. Like such a name was forbidden, illegal, or embarrassing. It sat with him wrong, but he simply nodded his head, following Jane. </p>
<p>“Boys are gross, anyways” John stopped at the door, Jane happily pushing it open “Take it from me.” </p>
<p>“The neatest, cleanest man i’ve ever met? Sure, i’ll take your word for it” She laughed, taking him inside. </p>
<p>It was a smaller room, as small as rooms in a castle like this could be, but it was suited for an infant. They would move rooms once they were a child anyways, so it wouldn’t matter. This room was only a door over from their bedroom, and the child would sleep at their bedside the first few nights, as Jane explained it. </p>
<p>The room was white, very white, with a bassinet right in the middle. The cradle had a silk veil over the top, a mobile just out of the baby's reach. Not that the new born baby would have much of a reach anyways. It was cute, John pushing the mobile with his finger to make it spin. It turned softly, and the little wooden animals danced around. </p>
<p>“Either way, i’m sure you have hundreds of little dresses for it to wear” John turned to Jane</p>
<p>“Oh, of course! Dirk thinks we’ll still receive more, unfortunately” Jane smiled “Though, I don’t think there is anything unfortunate about it.” </p>
<p>“Never too many, right?” John agreed “Especially if you plan on having more than one.” </p>
<p>“Oh, who knows…” Jane frowns “He only wants one.” </p>
<p>“Unfortunate. It’s still far too soon to tell, maybe he’ll change his mind” John tried to cheer her up, and it seemed to work, if only temporarily. </p>
<p>They both turned to the door as a maid servant appeared in it, that Nepeta girl from before, chin up as she greeted them. “Um, your grace-“ She bowed “The King has returned home.” </p>
<p>“Oh!” Jane delighted, walking over to her. John hesitantly followed, Nepeta backing out further into the hallway to allow them to exit. “Coming?” </p>
<p>“I shouldn’t” John declined, putting out a hand. </p>
<p>“Ah… well, tonight I’ll ask Dirk about the Opera! I’ll come see you tomorrow, okay?” Jane assured, much to John's dismay. Hopefully, Dirk turned down the idea. The pain of him saying no would hurt a lot less then her excitedly coming to tell him about their upcoming plans, to find him gone. The idea tortured him. </p>
<p>“Please do” He forced out, the young queen following Nepeta down the hallway to greet her husband, softly waving goodbye. John returned the gesture, his smile wavering. She was gone, and he let his face drop. </p>
<p>John had done some hard things, but this definitely took the cake. He returned to the laundry room, where he found Kanaya and Aradia, the two standing to attention when the door opened, relaxing once they realized who he was. The women were obviously taking their sweet time, which was fair. </p>
<p>“John, how did breakfast go?” Kanaya asked, looking down at her hands as Aradia handed her things to fold. </p>
<p>“Alright. She’s really such a gem, I missed spending them with her” John said </p>
<p>“I think she’s a brat” Aradia scoffed, throwing down a towel, kicking the bucket away. </p>
<p>“Oh, be quiet. You love one of the biggest assholes in all of Russia'' Kanaya defended, John looking between the two of them. Aradia's personal opinion of Jane didn't change how he felt about the young queen, so he didn’t let it get to him. </p>
<p>“Shut up!” Aradia punched her arm, messing up the taller woman’s folding job. She grumpily started over.</p>
<p>Kanaya sat up suddenly, pushing herself up off the railing, pushing the door open and looking from side to side, then looking back in the room to make sure they were alone. Backing up, she turned back to John. </p>
<p>“So, Aradia agreed to help us.” She spoke quietly </p>
<p>“Really? Thank you, so much” John looked at the small woman, her face redding. </p>
<p>“Oh um, it’s nothing. Anything to help Roxy” Aradia played with her hair, John smiling. </p>
<p>“And since she did, we have everything we need. If we can commit, this plan is foolproof” Kanaya assured. </p>
<p>“Too bad I’m a fool” John joked</p>
<p>“Don’t even tease, you must be confident!” Kanaya pushed him, but even she smiled. “So, it’s gonna go like this—“</p>
<p>John laced up his boots, trying to weave the lace through the eyelet with nothing but one candle to light his way. Making sure they were snug, he pulled the small bag over his shoulder and let it rest against his hip, pulling on his coat to hide it. He shook out his hands, pacing at the end of his bed, mumbling his instructions over and over again. </p>
<p>It was hard to listen when he was fidgeting so much, the floorboards creaking uncontrollably. Walking to the head of the bed, he smoothed out the blankets and tried to stay quiet.</p>
<p>His gloves were neatly placed on the pillow of his freshly made bed, one on top of the other. He could only pack a small amount of things and he left behind all the Russian attire that had been gifted to him, maybe as an apology. He left that damned crown, too, light on his shoulders but heavy on the head. It sat in the middle of his bed, weighing down the blanket. </p>
<p>He couldn’t believe the day was already over, and his time was up. All the things he wanted to see, do, talk about, it was all over. Today was the day, but for Roxy, it must have felt like an eternity. He’d keep thinking of her: Roxy, Roxy, Roxy— </p>
<p>The quiet, distant, ringing of a bell stopped him. A small handheld bell, rang once, then twice. </p>
<p>John pressed his back to the door when he heard it, making sure he heard it right. The shuffling of armor, the heavy footsteps of a man in boots, and the ringing of a bell in the distance. That was his cue, alright.</p>
<p>Taking the lit candle on his nightstand, he pushed the door open. He peaked out, the guard usually standing by the hallway near his bedroom was gone, and the keys he was responsible for hung on the wall in a ringlet. John quickly left his room, slowly closing the door so it seemed as if it had never opened at all. Stepping as silently, but as quickly as possible, he looked in the direction the guard had gone, listening for movement. The small bell rang again, so distant it was almost inaudible, but the guards grumbling and walking got more distant with it. </p>
<p>He stepped in time with the guard until he disappeared down the corridor, John in the clear to go. </p>
<p>John picked up the ringlet of keys, pulling it off the wall, and hurrying away and down the same hallway the guard had been lured. He caught up with them, keeping a considerable distance, barely able to see the man in armour. If he took a step, John took a step, and when the guard started to speed up in his pursuit of the bell, he ran too. The guard finally passed the staircase John needed to be dropped off at, John crouched and waited, watching, the guard was led away. </p>
<p>Down one set of stairs, and then another, he paused at the corner between one hallway and the next, waiting for the guard at the end to turn back around and leave. He hid the flame, cupping his hand over it and holding it back, hopefully hiding the light. Cronus, that's his name. He was doing his rounds, walking up and down the hallway, and as he disappeared, John passed in front of it and down the stairs to the dungeon. </p>
<p>Nobody guarded this door, which seemed like an invitation to move to and from it freely, but the door was loud and heavy, and guards were still in earshot of the loud creek it was guaranteed to make. John couldn’t get caught up by his anxiety here, having to get her, get back in time to return the keys before the guard he stole them from got back, and leave. Easier said than done. He pushed one hand, pulling on the door, and spending his time opening it as slowly as possible. It glided across the ground silently, only croaking right at the end when the hinges settled into the weight. </p>
<p>John froze, and listened, but with no audible running or talking, he slipped inside, closing it just as tediously. His candle didn’t do much, but being able to see his feet helped a lot. Stepping down, he held the candle out, staying close to the cells so he could see inside, finally seeing one that wasn’t empty. </p>
<p>Running over, the princess facing away and sitting up, slumped against the wall. The second the light filled the cell, she perked up, turning around. </p>
<p>As she looked at him, he nearly dropped his candle in excitement. There she was, there she really was, and god, was she still so beautiful. She took a second, her eyes as wide as dinner plates, a hand flying up to her mouth. She helped herself to her feet, running to the bars and squeezing an arm through, touching his face sweetly. Her hands were freezing, and the tip of her nose looked like ice, but she was still warm and bright like the sun itself. </p>
<p>“John, oh my god” She smiled, mouth wide open “You really came to talk to me!” </p>
<p>“I’ll do you one better” John pushed the keys towards her, the princess looking down in disbelief, backing up. </p>
<p>“You… what’s going on?” She looked between him and the keys consistently. </p>
<p>“Do you know which one it is?” </p>
<p>“Yes, um” She reached her hands through the bars, shuffling through the keys and sectioning one out, the others falling to the bottom of the ringlet. “This one.” </p>
<p>“Perfect” John smiled, taking it from her and searching for the keyhole without his candle, the small thing only produces so much light from its spot on the floor. When his hand found it, he stuck the key in, turning the heavy lock and the door slacked open, swaying towards him.</p>
<p>“You… you must be kidding me” Roxy backed away</p>
<p>“We don’t have much time at all, we have to talk after we are out of the palace. Please” John asked, putting out a hand to her. The blonde accepted, wrapping her cold fingers in his. He abandoned his candle, leaving the door ajar, and him and Roxy rushed from the dungeon and slowly up the stairs. Without a light, it was pitch black, and they had to feel for each step. </p>
<p>John pushed the door open, trying to not let his adrenaline get the best of him, opening it as calmly as before. As it opened, and the warmer air hit Roxy’s face, she gasped. Looking back towards her cell, she reached a hand out to it, but John pulled her from the dungeon, pushing the door shut again.</p>
<p>“This can’t be… no…” She mumbled </p>
<p>Looking at Roxy, she was marveling in the castle around her. This was her home, after all, maybe she never thought she’d see it again. Unfortunately, that was the case, but not for the reasons she may have assumed. John held her closely, maybe out of selfishness, listening closely. That bell rang, exceptionally close, and as he peeked his head around the wall he watched Aradia speed up the stairs. A few seconds later, a guard slowly followed, the guard who stood watch by his door, made his way up the steps. </p>
<p>John waited until the guard was completely up the steps to run, Roxy’s hand tightly in his own, running through the palace and back to his bedroom. Doing a circle, he hid from Cronus again, sending Roxy first, waiting for him to disappear, and running himself. Around the corner, through the hallway, he was back where he started much quicker then he had gotten there. Maybe his adrenaline got the best of him. </p>
<p> Outside the door, he hung up the keys, as if they had never moved, pulling her into the very hallway he was meant to be guarding. Slipping into the shadows of a doorway, he finally got to look at her head on. </p>
<p>She seemed dazed, tired, and she looked around wondrously. Roxy’s hair had never been this long in his presence, not even as a child, and it was matted and poorly taken care of. Her face was gaunt, and tired, and she was in a state of malnutrition. He put out his hands, his big hands, and held her face. She looked at him, putting up her own hands to put over his, melting into them with a sad face.</p>
<p>“I’ve missed you so much” He whispered, the princess smiling against his hand. </p>
<p>“You still… like me?” Her lip trembled </p>
<p>“I never stopped” John laughed sadly, pushing her hair back behind her ears so it stopped getting in her face. “I owe you so many apologies for my silence, for how long I took to see you, for what I thought about you…” </p>
<p>They didn’t have time to say anything more as they joined, Kanaya running into the hallway and ushering them to follow without even looking, John taking Roxy by the hand again and running after her. At the end of the hallway was a door, a door that was always unlocked, and Kanaya pulled it open. Running out, John and Roxy followed, the bitter night wind blowing in their face. Trudging along to the stable, Kanaya unlatched the heavy door and waved them inside. </p>
<p>John gasped a breath of relief as they entered, Roxy shaking with the chills. Kanaya rushed over, helping the girl to her knees, throwing a coat over her shoulders. Roxy smiled at her through her shivering, Kanaya wiping the tears from her face. </p>
<p>“I should’ve bought a hairbrush, hm?” She said softly, Roxy laughing. </p>
<p>“If you could even brush this out” Roxy shook her head, laying her face against Kanaya. The maid, unfortunately, had to stand and return to the mission. </p>
<p>Saddling the horse, she talked to John instead. </p>
<p>“You will quietly, and slowly, guide this horse through the forest and down the side of the mountain. The path will lead you to the lower parts of the kingdom, where you will look for one Vriska Serket, and Terezi Pyrope, understand?” She asked, tightening the straps and pushing over a stool, John helping Roxy up and to the horses side. She listened between them, John regretful that she was completely in the dark. “You’ll give them, whoever you meet first, this letter. If they refuse to let you in, which they undoubtedly will, tell them you were sent by Kanaya Maryam. Got it?” </p>
<p>“Got it.” He assured her.</p>
<p>“And, here-“ She handed him a second letter, well she didn’t hand it, she slid it into his coat pocket “Read the name, you’ll know who to give it to when you meet him. That’s the only favor I ask of you.” </p>
<p>John agreed, letting Kanaya help him on to the horse and hold the reins. He had never actually piloted a horse alone. Roxy was helped on second, the cold princess hugging around John and burying her face into his back. Kanaya stood up on the stool, pulling the coat over her head and kissing it. </p>
<p>“Goodbye, Roxy. Thank you so much” She choked, wiping her face. “The worst of your hardships are over. Never return to this awful place, you hear me?” </p>
<p>“Thank me? Kanaya, i’ll never make this up to you” Roxy answered quietly, her voice so hoarse. </p>
<p>“You don’t have to.” Kanaya finally covered her head, stepping down and taking John's hand. “My darling, you take care of yourself. I promise i’ll do everything in my power to keep you as safe as possible.” </p>
<p>“Thank you, Kanaya” He smiled</p>
<p>“You will only have tonight, and tomorrow, before they undoubtedly notice that you are both gone. Vriska and Terezi should have seen you gone by then, okay?”</p>
<p>“Okay.”</p>
<p>The woman jumped down, putting out her hand for him to wait. Digging her hand into her apron, she pulled out a delicate chain, a necklace. Balling up her hand, taking Johns, she placed it in his palm. Turning his hand over to look at it, the small lily charm necklace his father had given her all those years ago laid in his palm and he closed his fist around it with a sad look “Thank you… Thank you” </p>
<p>“Go now, goodbye” She cried, John doing as she said, and slowly traveling back outside into the snow, and down into the forest, until Kanaya couldn’t see him anymore and he couldn’t see her. </p>
<p>The hardest part wasn’t over yet, though. </p>
<p>John navigated the thick snow on the back of his horse, the bitter wind spitting the snow into his face completely unhelpful, especially when his vision was already corrupted by the darkness. He wiped off his glasses, regardless, and continued forward. </p>
<p>Roxy’s shuffling and fidgeting of her arms was a good sign, and John let his horse take her time, whinnying and reeling back uncomfortably as she was forced through the unpleasant terrain. John had to focus, paying attention to the heavy rise and fall of Roxy’s chest, and the snowy path before them. </p>
<p>The only thing keeping him on the trail was the trees, his horse stumbling from side to side as she got tripped up by the white ground, but John kept her on the right path. It was the best night for it, really, because as he glanced back to where he had just passed, the hoof prints were already covered in snow. It wasn’t fun to ride in, but he was comforted by the idea that without a trail, it would buy them more time in the long run. </p>
<p>He wished he could see Roxy, or even just talk to her, but he wouldn’t try. Feeling her fingers curl against his stomach, and her shivering stopping, was enough. </p>
<p>As they got to the edge of the forest, the trees few and far between, the horse trotted down the hill as John guided her to the road. Looking back, you could see the tips of the castle's roof, and his stomach rolled. Anxiety aside, John pushed through and through the city. The horses hooves clopping against the stone, but it wasn’t an intrusive sound. </p>
<p>He still passed slowly, afraid of disrupting or drawing attention to himself, looking around the buildings he had scarcely visited. Dress shops, bakery’s, cobblers, and… an Opera house. John slowed down as he came to it, looking up at the extravagant entrance. Glass windows lined the walls, big and beautiful, one sided for women to marvel at themselves in. It was a huge building, and John was interested to see inside. </p>
<p>He probably, no, definitely would’ve loved it. </p>
<p>Pushing his own personal grievances aside, he moved on, progressing through the kingdom. At the beginning were all of the stores, the event centers, and the parks for dining at, but as the city progressed he moved into the neighborhoods. Homes lined the streets, but spread back into the hills. A kingdom on a mountain side didn't have much room for yards, or farms, but the high society people here took up most of that room. Large houses with large front yards, porches and roofs covered in snow. </p>
<p>Progressing down, his horse trying to trot again, the homes pushed closer together, and down scaled in size. They were still nice, beautiful, homes, but there was far less room to move around, but he started to see some horse stables. The businesses were fewer and far between, but more homely and rundown. </p>
<p>Yawning, John stopped dilly dallying, and let the horse stay at the trot it was asking for. The bounce was unfamiliar, and the speed made him nervous, a new horseback rider. He stayed his head forward, watching only as a stray cat would pass across a window seal, or a light would flutter off in a window.</p>
<p>The kingdom was still awake, even so late? </p>
<p>John spaced off, and when he came back, the horse was slowing down naturally. Looking around, the city was run down and old, the buildings pushed together with hardly an alley in sight. The stone was worn and well walked, and the bar's lights were still on. Outside, a group of men were talking, one smoking a cigar. It made him nervous, but he slowly rode over, the men looking up at him all at once. </p>
<p>“Excuse me” John spoke up quietly, feeling Roxy shake the coat off her head, looking around his shoulder. </p>
<p>“Can we help you?” One pushed himself off the wall, rolling back his shoulders to look tough. John had a horse so he wasn’t too intimidated. </p>
<p>“Um, yes actually” John smiled, Roxy hugging him closer “Do any of you know where I can find Vriska Serket. Or, um, a Terezi Pyrope?” </p>
<p>The men looked between themselves, one shaking his head, the other looking indifferent as he took a drag. </p>
<p>“Why, you an officer or something?” The talker asked, glancing between the two. </p>
<p>“No, nothing like that.” </p>
<p>“Only a palace officer could afford a coat like that.” </p>
<p>“Two of em.” The smoker pointed at Roxy.</p>
<p>“I’m not a palace officer.” John insisted </p>
<p>The men spoke with their eyes, and John was worried it was a no. He put out a hand to ask for patience, pushing up his coat and digging into his bag, pulling out his sack of currency and dumping some into his bag to keep, tying up the rest and offering it to them. </p>
<p>“Woah” The quiet one smiled, reaching out and taking the bag, rolling it around in his hand. “How much?” </p>
<p>“300” John answered flatly, trying to stop his satisfied smile when they all got bug eyed, opening it and trying to count too quickly. “I’m not lying.” </p>
<p>“Yeah uh, you said Vriska?” The talker asked again, obviously rhetorically. </p>
<p>“That’s the name” John nodded </p>
<p>“Her and Terezi live by the plaza, you go through that alley, turn, and you’ll see a fountain. Third house with the blue shutters, the second floor candle should be lit.” He ratted, John kinda surprised that’s all it took. </p>
<p>“Thank you very much” John smiled, pushing his horse forward before stopping abruptly. Digging into his bag he tossed two more coins at them, both being caught mid air “You didn’t see us, okay? And if you did see me, I was alone, and I don’t know who Vriska and Terezi are.” </p>
<p>“Got it.” The smoker assured, John now leaving the men, who laughed excitedly, dumping out the money to count it officially. </p>
<p>Following their directions, he slowly got his horse through the alley, the small town surprisingly awake. Turning, and through another alley he saw the plaza aforementioned. Pulling into it, the fountain was a clear landmark. A woman, on her knees, a bucket in her hands as if she was filling it, but instead the water was coming from it. A gorgeous centerpiece to an otherwise shabby area. Pulling his horse to the house, with the blue shutters, he stopped. </p>
<p>The second floor window was indeed lit up, and as he looked up, the curtain swayed shut. His presence was already known, clearly. </p>
<p>Throwing his leg over the horse, he got down, steadying the swaying mare and taking Roxy’s hand, asking her to stay put. She sat up, wrapping the coat around her shoulders and pulling up her knees. </p>
<p>John approached the door, straightening his coat, and knocking. It was a gentle knock, because he didn’t have a firm bone in his body. Alas, the knock was left unanswered, and he knocked again. </p>
<p>“John, the candle was put out” Roxy spoke up, John backing up to see for himself. It, indeed, had been put out. John furrowed his brow, turning back to knock again when the door slowly creeped open. </p>
<p>Peaking out, a woman looking in no discernable direction, pushed it open further. </p>
<p>“Hello, who are you?” She asked directly, smiling. </p>
<p>“Um, hello, my name is John. I’ve been sent to find you, um, Vriska? Vriska, or Terezi?” </p>
<p>“Oh, not home. Come back at a reasonable hour, would you?” She pushed the door to shut, but John quickly put his arm up and stopped it. She pushed again, no longer smiling, confusion covering her face. “Um, is there something stopping my door?” </p>
<p>“It’s me. I’m stopping the door” John answered </p>
<p>“Well… stop it, please” She smiled, pushing harder. </p>
<p>“You don’t understand, we really need your help. Please, let me come in, so we can talk-“ </p>
<p>“I’m really not supposed to, stranger danger, you get it” Terezi pushed again, John pressing it open again. </p>
<p>“Yes, I do. But you’ve got to make an acception” John persisted “I was sent by Kanaya, Kanaya Maryam.” </p>
<p>Terezi paused, mouth in an O, scrunching her eyebrows. Loosening up on her push, she let John hold it, frowning.</p>
<p>“I even have a letter, directly from her, you can read it before you let me in if that would make you—“ </p>
<p>“I’m blind, John. I can’t read” </p>
<p>“Well, a-ah, I’ll read it to you then!” </p>
<p>Terezi huffed, turning towards the house, and back out the door to John. “Are you alone?” </p>
<p>“No. It’s me, and… my friend” He was honest, because he could only lie about something like that successfully for so long “But she won’t be trouble.” </p>
<p>“Hmm… yeah, come in” Terezi stepped back, John pushing the door open for her. </p>
<p>John smiled triumphantly, going back to the horse and grabbing its reins, pulling it to the post and tying it up, petting her face and whispering quiet “be goods” before going to Roxy. He took her hand, helping her hop down with a hand on her back, taking the coat from her shoulders and blanketing it over the horse. </p>
<p>Pushing her ahead of him, the couple entered the dark house, which was currently being lit up as Terezi hurriedly went around and lit the candles around the first floor. “Sorry about the dark, we don’t waste the wax when Vriska isn’t home.” </p>
<p>“She isn’t home?” </p>
<p>“No, she’s at the bar” Terezi smiles cheekily, shaking out the flame on her roll, setting it down against the table. “But, she should be home when it closes. What time is it, do you know?” </p>
<p>“No, i’m not sure” </p>
<p>“Well… soon.” Terezi looked down “Are you hungry?”</p>
<p>“Oh yes” Roxy spoke up, Terezi perking up.</p>
<p>“You sound so tired! Would you like to lie down?” </p>
<p>“No, nono, later I'd love to, but I’ll stay with John right now. I could definitely eat, though” Roxy smiled, even friendly now. “What do you have.” </p>
<p>“Uhh” Terezi turned to the cabinets, feeling around and rubbing the jar and sliced bread. “Bread, and jam… aaaaand Jam and bread.” </p>
<p>“Bread and Jam, please” Roxy giggled </p>
<p>“And you… John?” </p>
<p>“I’m okay, thank you” </p>
<p>Terezi haphazardly prepared the snack, Roxy looking up at John with a tired smile. John rubbed her head, trying to comb through the knotted mess with his fingers with no luck. Roxy put up her own hand, stroking her long hair, and sighing. </p>
<p>“Eat up, you probably need it.” </p>
<p>“Thank you” Roxy smiled, picking it up and taking big, merciless bites. It was nearly gone the second she got it, John not judging her. </p>
<p>Terezi spread more jam over more bread, presumably for herself. Looking in John's general direction, her face became neutral. </p>
<p>“You said Kanaya sent you?” She asked, taking a bite of her bread-jam meal. </p>
<p>“Um, yeah, do you want me to read her letter?” John asked, digging into his bag. </p>
<p>“No, not yet. We should wait for Vriska” She smiled “Plus, I don’t mind the company.” </p>
<p>She approached him, her old fashioned nightgown swaying below her knees, still wearing her stockings with dirt stains ruining the white fabric. Terezi seemed cozy, but he did find it embarrassing to see a woman in her nightgown. Averting his eyes away, she offered him the bread again, one she had already started to eat, and he declined a second time. </p>
<p>“How long have you been traveling?” </p>
<p>“Only an hour, I think,” John shrugged, Roxy finishing her last bite happily. She looked content. </p>
<p>“Oh, you come from the upper city?”</p>
<p>“Well, honestly, we come from… the palace.” </p>
<p>Terezi’s face fell, pausing her chewing as if she froze in time. Turning her head up to actually look at him, as if for a second she could see, lowering her bread. </p>
<p>“You… hm?” </p>
<p>“I think i’m safe being honest with you, right?” </p>
<p>“Um, yes. Definitely” She smiled </p>
<p>“I’m John Egbert, the crowned king of Thailand. This is Roxy Lalonde, the-“</p>
<p>“The princess that’s meant to be in prison!?” Terezi sounded shocked, but her face wasn’t of horror, but instead of extreme delight. A wide, opened mouthed smile. Terezi threw her bread on the table “Ahah! No way, how exciting!” </p>
<p>“Exciting?” Roxy asked in confusing, cheeks red with embarrassment. </p>
<p>“Yes! Oh, I didn’t know we had real royalty in our house. I knew that bastard king couldn’t keep you locked up for good! How delightful” She cheesed, laughing evilly. “I’m very happy for you.” </p>
<p>“Oh, um, thank you?” Roxy said, conflicted.</p>
<p>“You aren’t… upset? By tomorrow, we will both be wanted criminals” John insisted </p>
<p>“Aren't we all!” Terezi perked up, clapping happily. </p>
<p>John looked at Roxy, who looked at him, both with equal looks of confusion. Roxy smiled, covering her mouth to laugh. John shook his head, but smiled. </p>
<p>“Well that’s one way to-“ </p>
<p>Suddenly, the front door busted open, a woman coming inside with a gusto unlike anyone he had ever seen before. She opened and closed the door in one swing, facing away from the room to lock the door. John and Roxy froze, Terezi running over to her. </p>
<p>“Darling, you won’t believe it. These rich men came into the bar and covered everyone’s drinks-“ She looked away from Terezi, and into the room. Her sentence stopped, and she paused, eyes darting between John and Roxy “What the fuck.” </p>
<p>“Vriska! This is John, and Roxy, the-“ </p>
<p>“I know who the fuck they are, why are they in my house?” Vriska became suddenly aggressive, pushing Terezi behind her, who stumbled with the sudden push “Get the fuck out. I’m not getting either of us into any more royal hostage bullshit motherfuckers-“</p>
<p>“Please, Kanaya sent us!” </p>
<p>“Yeah, no fucking kidding. I’m about to send you back to that fucking castle with a beating and a note to Kanaya to tell her to never send another bitch-“ </p>
<p>“At least read me the letter!” Terezi interrupted her, grabbing her arm and hugging around it. Roxy furrowed her eyebrows, a new sadness on her face. “Please? I’d like to know what it says.” </p>
<p>“I’d like to, as well,” John added, pulling out the two letters, shifting to the one with Vriska’s name on it. Handing it towards her, she looked down at Terezi with an angry expression, but it softened, and she accepted it. She sighed, tongue in cheek. </p>
<p>“We only have tonight” Roxy choked, her voice scratchy whenever she tried to be quiet. “We’ll be gone by tomorrow.” </p>
<p>Vriska looked down at the envelope, shaking her head as she shoved passed John to sit at the opposite end of the table, sitting down dramatically hard. Kicking a foot up, she shoved her hand into the flap and tore open the sealed note, pushing the paper out. </p>
<p>She quietly skimmed it, eyes darting back and forth in lines. As she got further down, her expression softened and she let out a deep sign, letting her hand fall against the table, pinching her nose. John and Roxy looked to each other cautiously, Terezi playing with the ends of Vriska’s hair as she waited to be read to. </p>
<p>“I… fuck” Vriska shook her head “You leave tomorrow morning, and I don’t want to see you again.” Vriska looked up, that harsh scowl softening up again. “Do you want a bath?” </p>
<p>“Oh, me?” Roxy asked, looking up at John. </p>
<p>“Yes. You're filthy” Vriska said so bluntly</p>
<p>“Well, i’ve been in prison for 6 months.” </p>
<p>“I wasn’t being rude, I spent 4 years in prison, I get it” Vriska nodded, touching her own head of hair “You desperately need a brush.” </p>
<p>Roxy looked back at John again, who realized she was asking what he thought without saying anything. He raised his eyebrows, shrugging.</p>
<p>“Yeah, a bath would be nice.” Roxy smiled, looking back at Terezi and Vriska. </p>
<p>“Terezi, darling, go get some of my clothes from upstairs. Something to sleep in and something to wear tomorrow, she’s tiny.” Vriska smacked her arm gently “And get shit I don’t like to wear-“ </p>
<p>“Then will you-“</p>
<p>“Yes, then i’ll read you the letter. Damn” </p>
<p>The blind woman smiled, turning and running up the stairs, obviously having learned them by now. The house was so small that you could hear every creak and step as she moved upstairs. </p>
<p>“Is this your husband? boyfriend, or whatever?” Vriska asked, standing, referring to John as if he wasn’t there. </p>
<p>“Oh no, no, just my friend” Roxy said, John agreeing with a nod of his head. </p>
<p>“Good friend or what? Cause someone’s gonna need to help you brush that knot out” Vriska gestured her finger in a circle around Roxy, the princess reaching up to stroke it again. </p>
<p>“Well um, he can still- I mean, you can still help me, won’t you?” She turned to face him directly, John widening his eyes but nodding.</p>
<p>“Yeah! Of course” He was probably blushing, but he could never tell. “Just call me in, and i’ll help you.” </p>
<p>“Thank you” She smiled, standing and Vriska waved her over to follow, leading her under the stairs to a door. John followed, just to watch. Opening the door in the small cramped house, she showed her the bathroom. It was nothing like Roxy was used to, but she didn’t seem to be picky. </p>
<p>John would leave them alone, so she could get ready and into the bassein. Instead, he walked back into the dining area, looking around aimlessly. Terezi came trotting down the stairs happily, folded clothing against her chest to keep it together. Throwing it down on the table, on top was a folded nightgown, and under must be her clothes for tomorrow. On the very top, however, was a knife and a comb, side by side. </p>
<p>“A knife?” John questioned, picking it up and turning to over. “What for?”</p>
<p>“We don’t own scissors, you might have to shred some of that hair off” Terezi smiled. </p>
<p>“You must know her, she hates having her hair long” John placed the knife back down gently, making sure it didn’t scratch the table.</p>
<p>“Me too! It’s so uncomfortable when it scratches against your neck” Terezi approached him, reaching her arms behind his head and pushing her nails<br/>up his neck and into the roots of his hair, giving him the chills. “You have short hair, don’t you?” </p>
<p>“Hah- Um” John cringed, scrunching up his neck to reject the touch. Her hands flinched away, instead coming around to the front of his face, pressing her fingertips into his cheeks and lovingly rubbing his face into a cupping motion. Stroking over his cheek with her thumb, she hesitated over his scar. “I’d actually like to ask you to-“ </p>
<p>“Terezi, stop” Vriska spoke over him, coming around the corner from the bathroom. The small woman pulled away with an evil giggle, prancing over to Vriska. </p>
<p>“Whatever, he’s so soft spoken, his skin is so soft and he smells so good” She whispered just loud enough for him to hear, and Vriska glared in her direction, followed by a roll of her eyes.</p>
<p>John sat down at the table, sliding off his coat and letting it lay over the back of the chair, unbuttoning his sleeves to push them up. </p>
<p>“Hey-“ Vriska snapped her fingers at him. </p>
<p>John perked up, Vriska looking him in the eyes. “Yes?”</p>
<p>“John Egbert, huh? So, what IS your story” Vriska leaned forward, huffing to blow her bangs out of her face. John flushed, still shy. </p>
<p>“Oh um, I’m the- The royal family offered to house me after a war broke out in my country. My family was the prime target so I barely escaped with my life. Ever since i’ve been with them, living here-“ </p>
<p>“So, you aren’t even Russian?” </p>
<p>“Do I look Russian?” He squinted, confused.</p>
<p>“Well, around here we see Russians of all shapes and sizes. I mean, Karkat lived here his whole life, does that make him any less Russian then the fair skinned blonde woman in our bathroom?” </p>
<p>“I suppose not” John shrugged</p>
<p>“So, why did you agree to help Kanaya? If you have no attachment to the royal family, seeing as you aren’t a part of it, right?” Terezi chimed in, “Right?”</p>
<p>“Good point, but, it’s not really about family or attachments or-“</p>
<p>“John!” He heard a distant call of his name, the quiet voice of Roxy from the bathroom. He pushed the chair back, standing and straightening his shirt.</p>
<p>“It’s for her” He finished, “All for her.”</p>
<p>Vriska let out a huff from her nose, letting her lips crawl into a soft smirk. “You are throwing away everything, all the joys and comforts of royal life, for her?” </p>
<p>“She was the only person worth sticking around for, without her, it all meant nothing,” John was straightforward “She's my best friend, and I love her.” </p>
<p>“What a privilege” Vriska folded her hand over her closed fist, shaking her head. </p>
<p>“Perhaps” John agreed, Roxy calling for him again. </p>
<p>“Here” Vriska handed him the knife and hairbrush all in one fistful, John grabbing each one with a different hand. She nodded, standing and ushering Terezi upstairs. The woman delightfully followed. </p>
<p>Leaving himself, he rounded the corner and pushed open the bathroom door, covering his eyes and looking down at the floor. The soft laugh of the girl in front of him made him blush. </p>
<p>“What are you doing?” You could hear her smile, John watching her feet shuffle around. </p>
<p>“I wanted to make sure you were decent!”</p>
<p>“Of course I am! I wouldn’t let you see me undressed” Roxy laughed, reaching up a hand to pull Johns away from his face. She had put her dirty nightgown back on, hair looking even longer now that it was heavy with water “Now, help me.” </p>
<p>Roxy turned around, putting her hands at the underneath of her hair, pushing it all up and letting it fall neatly against her back. The top part of her white dress was completely see through and soaked in water, and you could more clearly see the tangled and knots now that the hair was dark. </p>
<p>“Go bottom to top, and once you’ve brushed it all out, then you can brush all the way through” Roxy instructed, making a faux brushing motion with her hand. John nodded, putting his hand palm up under her hair, doing exactly as she said. Brushing gentle like she was a baby, trying to detangle her hair. </p>
<p>“This seems so much easier when you watch a woman do it. You have so much hair!” John commented, making sure the hairs of the brush were going all the way through, able to feel them against his palm. </p>
<p>“I usually don’t, it's so frustrating” She grumbled </p>
<p>“Well, Vriska gave me a knife” John reminded himself and her “To cut it, if you really wanted to.”</p>
<p>“Oh yes! Good thinking, I need a haircut, bad” Roxy smiled, pulling some hair in front of her face to stroke it, running through it with her fingers. As he brushed her hair, John felt her shoulders slowly slack, and her head fell gently. The smile he could hardly see was gone, and turning to look at him, her face was serious and sad. “It really has been so long.” </p>
<p>“Far too long” John agreed “It never should’ve taken me so long. I’m sorry”</p>
<p>“Please don’t apologize. There’s nothing we can do now, i’m out! That’s… exciting” She didn’t sound so convincing, looking around for the knife. She picked it up off the seat John had sat it on, sectioning out a clump of hair and lining up the knife. “It hasn’t really dawned on me, yaknow? It feels so incredible to be out of that horrible place but… wow” </p>
<p>Without eyeballing, Roxy hacked away at her hair, having to force the serrated edge through the thick fistful of hair. Finally, the knife came out the other side, Roxy opening her fingers, and letting the hair fall to the ground. The remaining length popped up, curling and twisting around her face. It was short, super short, just below her jaw. She handed the knife over. </p>
<p>“This length, all around” Roxy instructed, pushing the remaining hair behind her head again. Turning away, John swallowed hard, picking out another thick clump and sawing. </p>
<p>“Well, obviously this isn’t the most ideal situation but… are you happy to see Dave soon?” </p>
<p>“My god yes, it’s… it’s another thing I can’t quite wrap my head around. I can't even believe it’s happening.” Roxy was smiling again “I didn’t think I would ever see him again.”</p>
<p>“No kidding” John said, the knife swinging out as more hair was cut, another clump hitting the floor “I bet he misses you just as dearly.” </p>
<p>“I hope so” Roxy looked around at her feet, where quite the hair mess was left behind. </p>
<p>“It’s impossible to get a straight cut with this damn thing, it’s meant for meat or something. It’s unbelievable that they don’t own a single pair of scissors” John shook his head, shaking off the hair stuck to his palm. </p>
<p>Cut, hack, saw, whatever you wanted to call it, John circled her entire head until his fist opened up, and the last section of long hair fluttered to the ground. Roxy reached up and wildly ran her hands in her hair, shaking out all the loose hair that was still clinging on. Like a wet, freshly groomed, dog. </p>
<p>She turned around, running her fingers through her bangs, and faced John. His cheeks flushed, his reflex to push his fingertips to his lips. </p>
<p>Roxy looked so beautiful with her hair short, and this new extreme length was so stunning on her. Sure, it was a hack job, but she’d look good in a potato sack. Nowhere near her shoulders, and not even halfway down her neck, the hair has the opportunity to curl and flip up in all sorts of wild directions. John couldn’t stop smiling, and the new confidence radiated off of her. </p>
<p>“You-“John stumbled “You should change. They got a new nightgown for you— and new clothes” </p>
<p>“Oh perfect, ” Roxy played with her hair some more, smacking her hands together to get all the hair off of them. “Alright, cmon”</p>
<p>She led the charge, passing John and out the door, rounding the corner with momentum. John smiled, following after her as quickly as possible. Entering the kitchen, only a few candles remained lit, everything above the stairs completely dark. </p>
<p>Vriska sat waiting for them, now in a pair of pajamas of her own. Her eyes widened and she even smiled at Roxy’s new look, pushing the pile of clothes across the table to her. “The haircut looks nice.”</p>
<p>“Feels nice!” Roxy picked up the clothes. </p>
<p>“So,” Vriska stood, “it’s looking like you both have to be out of my house, and on your way, before dawn. Kanaya's orders,”  </p>
<p>“I mean, perfect, but where are we going?”</p>
<p>“Spain.”</p>
<p>“Spain?” John questioned “Why Spain?” </p>
<p>“To stay with her brother, they didn’t find him so the idea is they won’t find the both of you either ”</p>
<p>“What?” Roxy hugged the folded clothes to her chest. “My brother, my little brother? Dave?”</p>
<p>“Well the king isn't in Spain, and that narrows it down—“ </p>
<p>“I-I, we— what? I thought he was gone for good? Dead or so far away I’d never see him again?” Roxy choked, putting a hand on the table. </p>
<p>“Well, to be honest, none of us are sure where they might have ended up. If they made it, if they went somewhere else, if they are even alive” Vriska was cruelly honest “but it’s our only option.” </p>
<p>“So… he might not even be in Spain?”</p>
<p>“Well, I guess you’ll figure that out when you get there.”</p>
<p>Roxy stood, without much else to say, spacing off with cloudy eyes. Vriska licked her fingers, snuffing out the candle on the table between her thumb and pointer finger, leaving only one left for them. </p>
<p>“I’m gonna go upstairs, but I probably won’t sleep” Vriska said “I’ll come and get you in the morning. Until then—“ </p>
<p>The tall woman went up the stairs, yawning and ducking into the darkness. John could hear her walk, the bed creak, and settle. Again, the house was quiet. </p>
<p>“She didn’t really give us much place to rest ourselves, but i’m not too tired anyways” John spoke softly, turning to Roxy who was still deep in thought. </p>
<p>“Well, I slept on a floor for months, a warm floor should be considered an upgrade” She forced herself to laugh, putting her clothing back on the table.</p>
<p>“I won’t be able to sleep, but you should try. I’ll keep you company the whole night” He assured </p>
<p>Roxy smiled, slouching against the wall and sliding down to the floor. John followed, crossing his legs and resting on the doorway. The blonde princess curled up, face against the wall, reaching out her slender hand to take his. Scooping it up, she held it close, closing her eyes and sleeping. </p>
<p>John rubbed the back of her hand until her breathing felt heavy, her grip softened, and she slumped comfortably. He didn’t let go, looking around the house and counting the seconds between her exhales. </p>
<p>He’d rest comfortably in his time to think, this moment of peace, hoping the morning never comes.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I can’t believe i’ve made it this far in my story, and it would be completely impossible without your support! It’s still far from over and I hope it continues to keep you coming back for more. again, so much love from me to you ❤️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Arsonist Advisors</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The disappearance of the princess becomes known, Dirk and Jane are introduced to the new advisor, and flames take over the kingdom.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Cheers to me! Just finished a huge move with my family, partnered with work, i’ve been a busy bee. I’m so excited to share this chapter with you guys regardless, and it’s a long one. </p>
<p>Thank you so much for continuing to read, your comments and kudos mean everything. &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Roxy opened her eyes, warmed by the fireplace, looking up at the ceiling of her family's drawing room. </p>
<p>The familiar feeling of the fainting couch under her back, a large knit blanket over her body, which was much bigger than before she went to bed. Sitting up, the blanket fell around her lap, the young princess stretching and rubbing the sleep from her eyes. </p>
<p>The fireplace was lit, holly and garland decorating the centerpiece, and wreaths hanging up in the windows. The palace was decorated for the holidays, Roxy wondering if it was christmas morning. The room was lit by candles, a comforting atmosphere made her nuzzle into the cushion, watching the snowfall out the window. The curtain had only been tied up on one side, letting in a bit of moonlight. </p>
<p>The room was otherwise dark, but not in a scary way. It was safe, homely, and sleepy. </p>
<p>“Roxy, you’re awake!” A soft voice called to her from the door, the princess looking up at her sister. Rose, just a young girl again, in her nightgown. </p>
<p>“Rose” she responded softly, smiling and throwing off the blanket to stand. She was also in her nightgown, one she hadn’t seen in years, and once she was fully stood up she knew she must be a child again herself. </p>
<p>“Come on” She ushered, putting out a hand for her to take “Dave is finally awake, we can meet him.” </p>
<p>“Oh,” Roxy took her hand “Really?” </p>
<p>“Yeah, we better hurry, or Dirk will be mad we kept him waiting” She looked up at her sister, something old and knowing about her eyes. They didn’t suit her young face, as if she had seen something wrong. </p>
<p>Roxy let her sister pull her along, looking around the quiet and snow muted castle, wanting to explore it as if she had never been there before. Passing up the stairs and through the hallways, she marveled at the decorations and candlelight, maids with no faces waving at her. She waved back. </p>
<p>Looking at Rose, her body floating a few inches off the ground, pulling Roxy behind her as she flew up the stairs. Her feet never once hit the steps, only looking back to make sure Roxy was still holding on. </p>
<p>As Rose floated above the ground, Roxy felt herself get lifted off as well, looking down at herself with a laugh of disbelief. The two girls flew up the stairs and around the hallway, Rose slowly tip-toeing to the ground, Roxy forced to land with her. </p>
<p>She had her hair cut short, which she never once did in her youth, but it seemed so familiar that Roxy didn’t question it. Looking at her, she felt happiness unlike anything. Rose guided her again. </p>
<p>Coming to the door, Dirk turned and looked at his sisters, frowning. He was small, and Roxy was even a little taller than him. His shaggy hair needed cutting, messy from sleep, stealing Roxy’s hand from Rose.</p>
<p>The three of them looked into the room, their mother laying in bed, holding a swaddled baby. She looked up at the three of them, waving them over, only Dirk going. </p>
<p>Roxy meant to walk, but her feet felt glued in place. She looked at Rose, who leaned against the door with a smile. If she was content waiting, so was Roxy. </p>
<p>Dirk ran over to the side of the bed, pushing himself up to sit with her, Mom wrapping her arm around him to help him up. He crawled to the middle of the bed, holding out his arms, their Mom chuckling at him. </p>
<p>Mom looked so young, tired, but young. Her hair was long and bright blonde like all of the paintings, resting against her back. She told Dirk how to hold his hands, gently placing the baby, Dave, into his arms. </p>
<p>“Support his head, Dirk” she instructed softly, moving his hand for him, the young prince nervous as he looked down at the baby. “He’s brand new.” </p>
<p>Dirk looked down at the baby with wide eyes, holding him close as to not drop him. Even in Dirk’s arms Dave looked tiny, Mom rubbing his head. </p>
<p>“His name is David?” Dirk asked, mimicking the rocking motion he had seen mom do. </p>
<p>“You can call him Dave, only if you want.” </p>
<p>“I want to,” he answered in a whisper. </p>
<p>“Isn’t it weird to see Dirk being gentle?” Rose asked, turning to Roxy. The young girl shook her head ‘no’, confused by the question. “Even after all the pain he’s caused you?” </p>
<p>Roxy looked back into the bedroom, Mom laughing with Dirk as they talked quietly. Mom repositioned his hands so that Dave was facing his chest, Dirks eyes glittering with love. His lip quivered and he hunched up so the baby was closer to him, talking to Dave. Mom rubbed his back, watching them adorning. </p>
<p>“They are both so small, huh?” Roxy commented </p>
<p>“Isn’t it nice” Rose didn't really ask, more so stated. Looking down at her sister, she knew that look in her eyes better now. It was a knowing, old, mature look. The eyes of someone who has seen, felt, and lost. </p>
<p>“This,” Roxy mumbled, looking back at her family “This isn’t real, is it?” </p>
<p>“...” Rose stalled, asking for Roxy’s hand again. “No” </p>
<p>Rose took her hand, pulling her to the window and pushing open the curtain, pining it open. Roxy watched the snowfall, quiet, her brother and mother talking only in background noise. </p>
<p>“Are you real?” </p>
<p>“As real as you consider me” Rose smiled, but did not look up at Roxy, drawing a cat in the fog of the window. </p>
<p>“I've missed you” She frowned</p>
<p>“I sure have missed a lot, right?” Rose moved on, drawing more animals and familiar shapes. </p>
<p>“That’s an understatement” Roxy laughed</p>
<p>“It’s strange, huh” Rose looked up “That little boy is the same man who poisoned his sister, forced his brother to run away, killed his parents, imprisoned you…” </p>
<p>“I try not to think about it” Roxy put her small hands on the window, pulling them away to look at the print. </p>
<p>“That won’t get you anywhere.” </p>
<p>“Sure, but,” Roxy sighed “It wasn't all his fault.” </p>
<p>“You sympathize with him?” Rose let her hand fall</p>
<p>“Of course I do. He wasn’t always that evil, I know this—I know that isn’t real” She ushered towards the door of her mother’s bedroom “but he was that sweet once, that loving, that giving. He was turned into a monster by our parents.” </p>
<p>“Is that really how you feel?” Rose questioned </p>
<p>“Yes. I think so, at least” Roxy looked away “That's what I want to think.” </p>
<p>“I don’t think that’s the truth, Roxy” </p>
<p>“What?” Roxy scoffed “Yes, it is.” </p>
<p>“Are you sure you don’t blame yourself? Even a little?”</p>
<p>“Should I?” </p>
<p>“Should you.” </p>
<p>Roxy sighed, turning away and looking back down the hallway, back at the door that seemed to be glowing with color. She trailed back over, Rose right next to her every step, Roxy looking back in at her brother. He had returned Dave, laying against his mom as she hummed them a song, curling his hair around her finger. </p>
<p>“He loved them so much, and they were the cruelest to him” Roxy furrowed her eyebrows “Did they ever hit you? Me, or Dave? Not until the very end…” </p>
<p>“What’s your point?” </p>
<p>“That, even after they hit him, or yelled at him, or punished him, he always came back with unconditional love, respect” She said “Because it wasn't them his anger was directed at; he hated us. All he wanted was for us to be treated the same, but instead we got nothing and gave nothing.” </p>
<p>“What do you mean?” </p>
<p>“Well, he got hit everyday. There wasn’t a day that went by that he wasn’t shouted at, but I could go weeks without so much as getting a voice rose at me. Sure, he might have held resentment for our parents for punishing him in the ways they did, but it was the fact that he felt like he was inferior to us, or anyone, because of some reason he didn’t understand.” </p>
<p>Rose watched her, waiting for more. </p>
<p>“And, and, I remember so many times he would express his hatred for Dave. He’d seeth and cry about not understanding what he was doing wrong. There was something wrong with him, there was something Dave was doing that he wasn’t, that’s what he always thought. He could never figure it out, because there was nothing to figure out. They just hated him, for some reason, they hated him!”</p>
<p>“That’s what Dirk thinks?” Rose asked, accusingly. </p>
<p>When Roxy looked up, turning to look at Rose, she was shocked to see she was looking at herself. Where Rose once stood was now another her, the same expression on her face that Rose had before. Roxy stepped back, unnerved. </p>
<p>“So, it was our parents fault?” Her reflection asked her</p>
<p>“Yes! Yes, and” Roxy sighed “and ours.”</p>
<p>“How was it our fault?” </p>
<p>“Because we… we never did anything to stop it.” </p>
<p>“We were children, it wasn’t our responsibility. Besides, Jane gives him loads of love and affection. Why didn't that change his heart? He finally got the validation he wanted—“</p>
<p>“Because! Because Jane is just as bad at them” Roxy pressed “Jane held him up above godliness, she treated him as if he could do no wrong, and if he did do wrong, her reactions were hyper emotional and dramatic. It’s the same abuse but with a different method of punishment,“ </p>
<p>Roxy grabbed her shoulders, the other her, realizing as she stepped forward that she had gotten taller. When she held the child in front of her, she continued to grow. </p>
<p>“Jane would cry and shout at him for hurting her feelings, and he had to act as damage control. It was the same amount of pressure from someone he was seeking that pure love from, the same pressure our parents plagued him with for years. She was supposed to hold him, to comfort him, to love him unlike our parents could, that pure love Rose or Dave didn’t give him, that pure love WE didn’t give him,” </p>
<p>Roxy pulled forward, only now realizing as her hands grew to size, that she was once again an adult. Her child self, who was still looking at her with a straight face, watched unsatisfied. The castle around them crumbled into nothing, the two girls surrounded by no noise, no anything, just a blackness like space. </p>
<p>“You didn’t love him enough! You didn’t give him that love he needed! This is your fault, this is your fault! YOU DID THIS TO HIM,” She screamed, shaking the child in her arms, the young girl watching, waiting. </p>
<p>“I didn’t?” </p>
<p>“I didn’t!” </p>
<p>“Roxy-“ </p>
<p>Roxy scared awake, flinching as she tried to regain consciousness. The room was still foggy and she tried to remember where she was, looking over at John. </p>
<p>“Oh, did I startle you? I’m sorry” He said quietly, Roxy looking around to see that Vriska was awake too. Coat covered in snow as she passed up and down the stairs over and over, and then out the front door. </p>
<p>“No, no” Roxy shut his apology down “I’m okay, I was just having a bad dream” </p>
<p>“Bad dream?” He questioned “That's probably a bad omen.” Even now he was teasing her, standing up and offering his hand. The princess stood, yawning, looking around for the time. </p>
<p>“What time is it?” </p>
<p>“Only 5am” John rolled his eyes “I didn’t sleep much, but I think my adrenaline will keep me awake!”</p>
<p>“So reassuring” She laughed, looking back at Vriska as she came inside, shivering from the cold. “Vriska-“</p>
<p>“Everything is ready, you better go.” </p>
<p>John nodded, turning to Roxy. “You better change.” </p>
<p>So she did, accepting the clothing Vriska had gifted to her. Hiding back in the bathroom, not bothering to shut the door, she striped off the nightgown she felt trapped in since that day. It fell off and hit the floor in a lump, Roxy stepping out of it. </p>
<p>She pulled on her pants, the first pair of pants she thinks she’s ever worn, a men’s button up blouse with billowing sleeves, and thick riding boots. Those were a nice gift, Roxy admiring the craftsmanship. She picked up her flats off the ground, inspecting all the holes she burned into the soles, frowning. </p>
<p>Roxy tied the string at the collar into a bow, swaying and looking down at herself, quite liking how her legs looked in the tight pants. Leaving the bathroom, John smiled wide at her. </p>
<p>“How do I look?” She posed dramatically</p>
<p>“Very cool” John laughed, fluffing up her hair. </p>
<p>“Are you warm?” Vriska butted in, Roxy shaking her head. Vriska shook the coat off of her shoulders, Roxy instantly refusing. Vriska cut her off, forcing her into the coat. “Accept this as my last favor for you. You won’t need it where you're going anyways, plus, the one you left on the horse is drenched. I’ll dry it and keep that one. It’s more like a trade, okay?” </p>
<p>“Okay” Roxy nodded, Vriska shushing them as she led them outside. The horse huffed when she saw John, pushing into his face with her nose. He laughs, Roxy smiling at him lovingly. </p>
<p>It’s dark, but not that darkness that comes with the nighttime. It’s almost dark blue outside, and at the very horizon, a peek of light blue is already creeping up. Vriska held the saddle, helping John and Roxy back onto the uncomfortable horseback. She returned John’s bag to him, giving him the best directions she knew, giving him another letter to give Karkat. </p>
<p>Very popular fellow, huh? </p>
<p>“You get out of here now, got it” Vriska scorned “You don’t come back for any reasons, don’t even think about coming back. Don't stop, or camp, or trust anyone until it’s warm outside. Okay?” </p>
<p>“Okay” The couple said in unison, Roxy looking sadly around as she left the final parts of her kingdom. </p>
<p>“Now ride slow, until you leave the city, and then you make that horse go as fast as she can. You run, run fast, until you can’t even remember what Russia looks like!” Vriska demanded, John nodding and smiling. </p>
<p>“Thank you, Vriska” Roxy spoke kindly.</p>
<p>“Don’t thank me” Vriska insisted</p>
<p>“Please, accept this” Roxy reached around the back of her neck, unclipping the necklace John had returned to her from Kanaya. That lily charm, the one his father had given her. “To remember our gratitude.” </p>
<p>“Or to sell, whichever works” John added, Vriska smiling and taking the necklace and admiring it.</p>
<p>After that, John set off, Roxy bouncing with the horse as they left the town. It wasn’t very long before they reached the outer edge of the kingdom, no houses in sight, not a footpath to walk on, or even land being farmed on. The second the last roof disappeared over the hill, the reigns were cracked, and the horse sprinted full speed. </p>
<p>Roxy held on to John as tight as possible, looking up at the sky as the daylight creeped closer and closer. Soon, her brother would wake up, and be informed that her and John were missing. A full kingdom search would ensue, possibly farther. All they had to do was out run them, right? </p>
<p>That didn’t seem like it would be an issue, Roxy looking at the ground as they raced by in a blur, the horse seemingly unbothered by the weight on her back. It ran like horses were always meant to do. </p>
<p>It was hard to think about anything else but her brother as they traveled, pressing her face into John as she wondered if she really would see him again. </p>
<p>Those big, sparkling, blue eyes. That strawberry blonde hair with flips and curls like a fairytale prince, the baby brother she had always wanted and loved. She remembered his kindness, the way he loved to dance, make jokes, and she even remembered his annoying whining fondly. </p>
<p>She wonders if he even remembers her pleasantly, or if his mind had been completely traumatized by that night, the night his whole world ended. </p>
<p>Maybe when he pictures her face, he sees that night, and he wants nothing to do with her. </p>
<p>Roxy was terrified of such an idea, the concept that she could come all this way and he would simply refuse her. Where would they go? Could they even leave? She was praying her presence was at least met with neutrality, and maybe open arms. </p>
<p>She wondered too if him and Karkat were still in love, still holding hands and whispering from the force of habit. Maybe Dave would be comfortable enough to answer her hundreds of questions about his love, and if it felt anything like hers. She was sure it did, that his love felt exactly like the sweetest she felt for John.</p>
<p>Looking up at the sky, shielding her face from the cold morning wind behind John, she dreaded as the sky grew brighter, bluer, and the sun poked up from under the horizon. It was a long trip from Russia to Spain, and she hoped they had a bit of time, yet. </p>
<p>Kanaya was hoping and praying the same, pulling back the curtains to pin them open. The light of the morning wasn't yet bright, but against the dark room, it seemed as though it was midday. Securing the curtains opened, she crossed her hands at her lap, turning to face in towards the Kings bedroom. </p>
<p>Dirk stirred as the light hit his face, rolling over into his wife’s shoulder to hide his eyes. This made her open her eyes, before screwing them shut, scrunching up her face in discomfort. </p>
<p>Kanaya walked to the next window, securing it open as well. Looking down at the snow covered ground, freshly laid, the sparkle against the sunlight was marvelous. That sparkle of untouched snow was always so magical. </p>
<p>Looking up at the sky, the sunrise still in motion, she spoke a silent prayer for her runaways. Kanaya knew Vriska too well to think she would be unpunctual, but still all of the mistakes they could’ve made on their end were eating her alive. She only had her faith in them to rely on. It was her life in jeopardy, too. </p>
<p>She finally returned to the king's bedside, grabbing his cane from the foot of the bed, just in time for him to sit up on his own. He stretched, shaking away the sleep. </p>
<p>Jane wasn't so easy, rolling over and burying her face in the pillow. </p>
<p>“Good morning, your highness” Kanaya sat his cane against the bedside table, folding her hands. </p>
<p>“Good morning, Kanaya” He yawned, readjusting the collar of his shirt. “My god it’s early.” </p>
<p>“As it is every morning” She teased, putting out a hand to offer him help from bed. He declined, inaudible, lifting off the blanket and pulling his legs over the side of the bed. He didn’t groan anymore when doing the twisting action, but he did ride out the uncomfortable, nuisance-like, pain in his side. </p>
<p>“How you manage to wake up early, even earlier than me, is beyond my understanding” Dirk said. Kanaya leaving his side, retrieving his clothes from the dresser, folded neatly for him by herself earlier. </p>
<p>“Maybe I just love you too much” She suggested, getting a rare smile from Dirk. “Now, for Jane, I don’t think a fire could convince her to wake up.”</p>
<p>“I think you're right about that one” He nodded, turning to put a hand on her back, the woman poking an eye out before snuggling back into the pillow. </p>
<p>“Your clothing, your highness” She returned to formality, placing the stack of clothing on the bedside table. She stepped away, allowing Dirk to take over.</p>
<p>Dirk had never been one to like being dressed by others, even when he was a child. Maybe he was shy, or nervous, but especially after the incident he insisted he could undress and dress himself. So, Kanaya simply stood by, waiting for any request of her help. </p>
<p>“What is today?” Dirk asked quietly, untying the cuffs of his sleepwear. </p>
<p>“It’s Monday, your highness” Kanaya assured, dreadfully reminding herself. “Would you like to know your schedule?” </p>
<p>“As always” He nodded </p>
<p>“This morning, you have a meeting with the captain of the Royal guard over a civil dispute regarding stolen goods, followed by a hearing over a request of royal funding from a business in town—“</p>
<p>Dirk shakes his head, rolling his eyes. </p>
<p>“Your afternoon is relatively open besides your reading with Jane, followed by lunch. You, if only you deem it worthy of consideration, have been requested to speak with the Stable boy about damages made from the snow to the royal stables…” </p>
<p>Dirk buttoned his new shirt, only looking up at Kanaya after she had been paused for too long to urge her to continue. She wished he was more responsive, </p>
<p>“And then finally, tonight, you have a very important meeting with the new chief advisor. He will arrive a little late due to weather related holding ups-“</p>
<p>“Oh, I had completely forgotten” Dirk perked up, sliding on his gloves. Only Dirk would forget firing the previous chief advisor, seeing as he unemployed several people that same day. Hopefully, this one will last. </p>
<p>“Very exciting, i’m sure” Kanaya nodded</p>
<p>“Will you help me with my boots?” Dirk asked, politely. </p>
<p>It had grown a little scary to be near Dirks feet after the Equius incident, but she followed orders nonetheless. She laced up his boots, crouching so her dress was covering her legs. </p>
<p>“We attempted to send a horse and a rider to return a letter, but the snow was too bitter last night.” Kanaya continued “So, hopefully, the new advisor understands we’ve received his letter.” </p>
<p>“I’m sure it won’t be a big deal” Dirk spoke nonchalantly, looking behind him again as Jane finally sat up. “Oh, you’re alive.” </p>
<p>“Of course I am!” She laughed, making Dirk smile. </p>
<p>“Good morning, your grace” </p>
<p>“Good morning, Kanaya!” </p>
<p>“Isn’t today the day of that big opera?” Dirk asked, lifting his foot to tie the laces as Kanaya moved on to the next foot. </p>
<p>“Yes! Oh, I had nearly forgotten!” Jane threw herself out of bed, running around and holding the railing of the headboard, standing in front of Kanaya and Dirk. God, she really was about to pop. “I have to tell John! I was gonna tell him last night but I was so tired!” </p>
<p>Kanaya withheld her reaction at hearing his name, trying to act as if nothing was wrong or unusual. She didn’t even blink as she continued to lace the boots. </p>
<p>“He’s not awake yet, I’m sure” Dirk tried to chill her out, putting out a hand. Still, she retained that dog like energy. “Plus, the opera isn’t until tonight.” </p>
<p>“I know, but I can’t contain my excitement” Jane smiled, sitting besides Dirk in her nightgown, looking down at Kanaya. “Have you ever seen an Opera?”</p>
<p>“Once, when I was a child” Kanaya nodded, letting go of the laces so Dirk could tie the rest. </p>
<p>“Aren’t they just incredible! The music, the lace, the sets and candle light-“ </p>
<p>“The costumes!” Kanaya added, with an enthusiastic raise of her finger. </p>
<p>“Yes! The costumes!” She smiled, holding her stomach.</p>
<p>A soft knock at the door broke the conversation, the door slowly pushing open as Aradia peeked her head inside. Upon seeing the King and Queen, she bowed her head respectfully, smiling between them all. It wasn’t unusual for her to be here, assigned to keep Jane's schedule on track. The royals had very different mornings, so it would be unreasonable for Kanaya to assume all the responsibility. It was unreasonable for Kanaya to assume all of Dirks responsibilities, but of course she couldn’t object if she wanted to. </p>
<p>“Excuse me for interrupting” Aradia started, putting up a hand, but with that cold hostility Dirk applied to those who were not near to him, he cut her off. </p>
<p>“It's alright” He stood, struggling as Kanaya put a hand on his back to assist him. Taking his cane, he huffed, the first of many irritating physical inconveniences already putting a damper on his mood. “I’ll see you in the library later today, my dear.” </p>
<p>Kissing Jane goodbye, she continued her gushing about the Opera to Aradia, whose mood hadn’t been ruined by Dirk. Jane always seemed to treat her fairly, when they were alone together at least, and they talked for hours every morning so they must have grown fond of each other. </p>
<p>Kanaya didn’t get to stick around and find out, escorting the troublesome side of the duo, Dirk, to his first of the meetings today. She found them just as horribly useless and boring as he did, having to keep him awake in the early morning. </p>
<p>Most of his “problems” are simple arguments that could’ve been solved by the royal guard, but the people involved insisted it was important enough for the king's interference. Sometimes the topics were fun and outlandish, giving Dirk something to laugh about and recall later, but most days they were stupid issues he was facilitating for no good reason at all.</p>
<p>Kanaya stood behind his chair, by the door and against the wall, watching as Dirk dug into the bridge of his nose with his fingers. The towns people argued between themselves, Dirk never really cut out for this kind of thing. He wasn’t patient enough to put up with nonsense.</p>
<p>He’d give half-assed suggestions, sending them on their way, shuffling the responsibility back on the royal guard where it should’ve stayed. He argued all morning with those cattlemen, but she could tell by the empty look in his eyes that he wasn’t even listening. </p>
<p>The men were escorted out, Dirk leaning back in his chair in annoyance. In Kanaya's opinion, he was far too young to make these decisions on his own, and his meetings should’ve been rescheduled until after the Advisor arrived. She had watched his father in meetings like these, and mostly, Bro just sat back and nodded his head respectfully with whatever decision his advisor had made for him. </p>
<p>Dirk definitely needed that kind of control. </p>
<p>He turned to Kanaya, pulling the crown off his head. “Father never complained about how heavy and annoying that damn thing is” He shook his head. </p>
<p>“Your father rarely complained about anything, your highness” She said, pushing herself off the wall to meet his side “I’m sure he felt the same.” </p>
<p>“Honestly. He never really complained about these awful meetings either, and the annoying arguments and the absolutely irritating pain in my side—“ he suddenly shouted, throwing out his hands. </p>
<p>“Well throwing yourself around won’t help any, will it? How about we go talk to that stable boy, and meet Jane in the library?” </p>
<p>“That’s probably a good idea, I wonder what sort of damage they could be talking about.” Dirk pushed out his chair, gladly accepting Kanaya’s hand. </p>
<p>“Possibly the roof, that's the only damage I think snow could’ve caused, unless he’s mistaken?” Kanaya suggested, walking with Dirk, holding open the door to lead him out. Retrieving their coats, they found their way outside and through the snow. </p>
<p>The snow wasn’t falling right now, but the early morning winter air was bitter on her face. Dirk’s pale skin was instantly red, and Kanaya was sure he would complain about the stable boy forcing him outside. </p>
<p>Crunching snow underfoot was enough of a distraction as Kanaya looked out into the upcoming woods around the castle, trying not to reveal her discomfort. Having done so well so far, thinking about John and Roxy’s safety was the last thing she needed. </p>
<p>Approaching the stable, she was confronted by the unusual sight of quite a few men running around the stable, some far into the woods, hardly visible, and a few talking in the stable. </p>
<p>“Good morning, gentlemen!” Kanaya called, holding Dirk as a few looked up. Frantically, they all addressed the king properly. Looking down, Kanaya saw the familiar and friendly face of Nepeta. “And you, too” </p>
<p>“What’s going on?” Dirk asked, looking into the woods as men called a name. It wasn’t a human name, it was certainly the name of a horse. </p>
<p>“They said a horse escaped sometime before we got out here this morning, but we see no tracks” Nepeta shrugged, turning to look up at Equius who stood behind her, “She's a big, black horse,” </p>
<p>“Seemed the mare pushed open her own stable, or it wasn’t locked right, same as the main entrance. The door was wide open when we got out here” Equius spoke properly, but so quietly it was hard to hear him. It was strange to see a large man in such fear of another person, but Dirk had made his reputation known. </p>
<p>“Well who left the doors open?” Dirk looked around, but suddenly nobody had anything to say, “Tell me.” </p>
<p>“It was Horrus and Equius outside last night, sir” A young boy spoke up, wearing boots too big for him.</p>
<p>“Of course it was” Dirk brought his gaze to Equius, Kanaya squeezing him nervously, “How can you continue to be so incompetent? Everyday you continue to fail, although for some reason, you of all idiots, I've given multiple chances of redemption. Do you think I punish you for my own pleasure?“</p>
<p>“Your highness—“</p>
<p>“Dirk” Kanaya tested, trying to stop him before doing anything he might regret. </p>
<p>“No, I can’t believe I even considered keeping you around this long. You clearly have no concept of worth because you probably haven’t seen enough money in your life that even comes near to paying for a horse that expensive, not to mention, they all belong to the late Queen, who hated you much more than I did. How dare you have such an oversight as to let one get loose?” Dirk spit, stepping forward and forcing his arm away from Kanaya. </p>
<p>She knew these claims to be untrue, but said nothing. </p>
<p>“But, but, your highness! I swear, i’ve worked here my whole life and I—i have never, NEVER, left the door open!” Equius insisted “and my brother had gone inside long before I closed everything up, I swear.”</p>
<p>“I care very little for your excuses” Dirk sneered “You've failed me for the last time. I want it seen that all of your things have been removed from your room by this afternoon, and I never want to see you again.” </p>
<p>“Please, your majesty, you don’t understand,“ </p>
<p>“I actually think I do understand, you uneducated sweaty pig—“</p>
<p>“You can’t fire him!” Nepeta shouted, Dirk looking down at her with surprised eyes. The little girl stood in the way of the brothers, an arm out as if Dirk intended to hurt them. “They are my family! If they can’t work here, we won’t have the money to afford our home! Your highness, you have to understand, it was a mistake.” </p>
<p>“I-“ Dirk stuttered, putting up a hand in shock.</p>
<p>“Please!” She pleaded, lacing her fingers together like she was praying. “It won’t happen again!”</p>
<p>“No, it won’t” Dirk put down his hand, a stone cold look covering his face that he couldn’t have learned from anybody but his father. Digging his cane into the ground, he let his eyelids sag “I shall see to it that you are escorted out with them.” </p>
<p>“Dirk!” Kanaya called in surprise, almost angry, taking his shoulder. He looked at her, that same unforgiving look in his eyes. She removed her hand, “You can’t be serious—“ </p>
<p>“You don’t wish to pack as well, do you?” He cocked his head, and though his inflection was taunting, he certainly wasn’t joking. Kanaya didn't say anything, lowering her arm and regaining her composure, “As I thought. You’ll help them remove their things, won’t you? Anything that’s still in that room by 1:30 will be thrown away.” </p>
<p>“You-“ Nepeta’s eyes watered, her lip quivering, chest shaking, “You… but you are my friend! You like me—“</p>
<p>“I don’t like any of you” Dirk barked back at her, Kanaya flinching away from his harsh movements. </p>
<p>“You are horrible!” Nepeta cried, shoving passed Kanaya and running out into the snow. </p>
<p>Equius stuttered, almost in shock, running after her. </p>
<p>Kanaya looked out of the stable, the young girl stumbling through snow as her loud sobbing fought against the muted surroundings. </p>
<p>“Anyone else?” Dirk called into the room. Kanaya looked back in, everyone with wide eyes and nervous posture, trying to mind their business. Dirk nodded happily, but his face stayed neutral, “So, who had the questions about the damages?</p>
<p>“M-m-me sir” A frail voice answered, obviously shaken. </p>
<p>“Perfect” Dirk loosened up, regaining a friendly face, but everyone’s opinion of him was too far gone.</p>
<p>The request was simple: Money and resources to fix the caved in roof at the back half of the stable. It wasn’t caved yet, but one more heavy snow, which was highly suspected, and it definitely would. Dirk agreed, asking the boy's name, and leaving the stable with a quiet whisper behind him. Kanaya took his arm, helping him through the snow, avoiding the footsteps made by Nepetas tiny feet. </p>
<p>Once inside, she took his coat, folding it over her arm. </p>
<p>“I can’t believe you did that” She spoke with her chest “Nepeta didn’t do anything to you.” </p>
<p>“Kanaya, I can make it to the library on my own” Dirk disregarded what she said “Please go see to it that Equius and Nepeta are packing.” </p>
<p>“I- yes, your highness” She bowed her head, the King turning from her, watching him walk away. She sighed, brushing the remaining snow off his coat, walking to the servants quarters. </p>
<p>She followed the sounds of crying, heavy sobs, putting a hand on the door and looking in. Nepeta was shakily putting her things into a bag. Her dresses, her letters, her summer clothing. Equius rubbed her shoulder. </p>
<p>“Nepeta,” Kanaya called, sadly, a frown on her face. Nepeta looked up, drenched in tears, unable to talk through her crying. </p>
<p>“He” Sob “w-was” Sob “so mean to me-he-he!” She gasped between every word, wailing again. </p>
<p>“I’m so sorry” Kanaya shook her head, squeezing his coat closer to her “He’s such a monster.” </p>
<p>“I” Equius stopped “I’ve worked here all my life. This was my father's job before mine, and before that my grandfathers. I.. I didn't leave the door unlatched—“</p>
<p>“Oh Kanaya!” Nepeta cried, throwing down her bag and running over to her. The young girl took her dress into her fists, sobbing “You know Dirk better then any of us, you have to talk to him!” </p>
<p>“Nepeta,” </p>
<p>“You have to try and get our jobs back! If we don’t work here, we have nothing! We’ll be forced to move, we’ll have to leave the kingdom! This is our home,”</p>
<p>“I want to help you, I really do, but—“ </p>
<p>“Nepeta, please come and finish packing” Equius spoke over her “You can’t ask such a thing of her. There’s nothing she can do for us.” </p>
<p>Nepeta slowly let go of the dress, arms falling lifelessly at her sides, dragging her feet back to the dresser. Equius had picked up the spilled clothing, handing it back to her, Nepeta crying again. They didn’t have much, and even though Kanaya had only arrived, they were done in her room. </p>
<p>Standing, Equius took her hand, pulling her to the door and passed Kanaya, who stepped out of their way. Equius looked back, pulling her bag over his shoulder. </p>
<p>“I just hope it’s worth it.” </p>
<p>Kanaya watched as they turned down the hallway, almost moved to tears herself. Who died and made her queen of deciding whose lives got ruined for her own sense of the greater good? How much sacrifice did John and Roxy deserve. Her own friends, a boy she had grown up with, being forced to move away or be shoved into homelessness because of her. </p>
<p>She didn’t follow him, slowly lollying down the hallway and up the stairs, hanging his coat by the door. She let out a deep sigh, holding on to the sleeves and leaning, squeezing her eyes shut tightly. </p>
<p>Recomposing herself, she found herself walking back to the library, trying to forget the pleading eyes of that young girl burned into her memory. </p>
<p>“Kanaya!” her name was called delightfully, and as she looked up, she was already smiling again. It was Jane, who sped up only a little to meet her side. </p>
<p>“Your grace, lucky running into you. On our way to the library?” She asked softly, offering her company. </p>
<p>“Yes, I am! I thought you’d be with Dirk?” She frowned, cocking her head like a puppy. </p>
<p>“Oh, I was, just… helping someone for a moment” She looked off towards the hallway, but Jane didn’t seem truly interested. “We should go, Dirk isn’t patient.” </p>
<p>“You're telling me!” Jane laughed, letting Kanaya lead with the first step. The queen looked back behind herself again “Actually, I was going to talk with John but he wasn't in his room?” </p>
<p>“He isn’t?” Kanaya feigned shock, even throwing in a few rapid blinks. “I can’t remember the last time he left his bedroom for more than an hour.” </p>
<p>“Exactly!” Jane exclaimed, looking behind again “But I was sure if anyone had seen him, it would’ve been you.” </p>
<p>“Unfortunately not, but I can’t even suggest he’s on a walk earnestly. He really never leaves that room!” Was she overselling it? Maybe a little. </p>
<p>“I’m sure there’s an explanation. I just wanted to tell him about the opera, but he’s not around. You really haven’t seen him all morning?” </p>
<p>“No, why do you insist?” </p>
<p>“Well, no reason really, but his bed was made neatly and he had clothing laid out for him. I shouldn't have entered without permission but I knocked over and over and he didn’t answer, I was worried!” </p>
<p>“I understand. But, I've been with Dirk all morning. I don’t have responsibility over John in the early hours, I just find myself around him most days because I like his company.” Kanaya found it hard to look her in the eyes, but if Jane did it so adamantly, Kanaya didn't want to seem strange in breaking eye contact. </p>
<p>“Hopefully he’ll show for lunch” Jane smiled as Kanaya held the library door open, drawing Dirks attention from the bookshelves. Aradia waited for them inside. </p>
<p>Jane giggled, covering her mouth. </p>
<p>“Looks like we’ve switched,” Dirk smiled, Jane rushing to his side. </p>
<p>“Must’ve!” Jane laughed again, looking back at Aradia who had closed the book she was skimming, approaching the Queen. Kanaya wished she wouldn’t, but it probably made her look a lot better, Aradia asking if Jane had any luck. </p>
<p>“Did you find him, your grace?” Aradia slid the book back into the empty spot that was looking for it. </p>
<p>“Find who?” Dirk didn’t give her the chance, handing a book to Kanaya without looking at it. </p>
<p>“John!” Jane answered “I was going to speak to him about the opera, but strangely, he wasn’t in his room.” </p>
<p>“Really?” Dirk scrunched his eyebrows, the same level of disbelief Kanaya was hoping she pulled off naturally. </p>
<p>Kanaya looked down at the book, the same love story they had been working on that week. The bookmark stuck out the top, Kanaya sliding her thumbnail between the pages to pull it open. </p>
<p>Aradia picked up the small tray from the sitting chair, Kanaya taking its place. She sat besides Kanaya, Dirk leaning over the armrest and putting a hand on Janes, who happily waited to continue. </p>
<p>“Where we left, Spencer had just confessed her love to Jamsey, but he’s already engaged” Kanaya recapped, finding the first sentence on the page to return to. </p>
<p>“I don’t like his fiancé anyway, he should call off the engagement!” Jane stated</p>
<p>“But he seems to love his fiancé, that would be unfair to her just because lady Spencer danced with him once. It’s puppy love” Dirk shot down</p>
<p>“But Jamsey said it was love at first sight! Even he knew it” Jane protested, Dirk shaking his head and rolling his eyes. “Go on Kanaya, i’d bet he takes her hand right now,” </p>
<p>“I guess we’ll have to see” Kanaya nodded, clearing her throat, but they didn’t get the chance. </p>
<p>A shout was called out through the castle, one loud enough they all heard it, but too far away to make out what it was trying to say. It was followed by heavy footsteps down the hallway, clanking armor, and more unintelligible yelling. </p>
<p>Kanaya put the book, pages down, against the table, standing up suddenly, and looking back at Aradia. The other girl shot up herself, looking at the royals. </p>
<p>“What is going on?” She asked the room, as if any of them had an idea. Regardless, they responded as if it was a standard emergency, Aradia pulling the King to his feet, the queen helping herself up, and Aradia leading them between the bookcases should their be an intruder out for their heads. </p>
<p>Kanaya didn’t give Aradia any more side glances, because if she did, it might seem suspicious.</p>
<p>Running to the door, she creeped it open, watching just as the group of guards passed. Down the hallway and towards the dungeon, it was certainly beginning. A straggler, a guard she knew, Cronus, ran through the hall and stopped when he saw her. </p>
<p>“Cronus, what the hell is going on around here?” </p>
<p>“Is the King inside there? The Queen?” </p>
<p>“And if they aren’t?” She questioned, slipping out from the library and keeping the door cracked. </p>
<p>“No one has stopped to tell me the whole truth, but from what i’m hearing, the princess is missing” Cronus was hushed, watching as a pair of maids ran behind them, frantically trying to catch up. </p>
<p>“The princess? Roxy?” Kanaya shook her head in shock, Cronus growing visibly confused. </p>
<p>“You,” he whispered “you didn’t know?” </p>
<p>“Excuse me? Of course I didn’t know!” She shouted in a whisper, leaning forward. If she behaved too much like she hoped Dirk and Jane could hear her, she’d give herself away. “Are they sure?” </p>
<p>“Seems they’ve got all the king's horses and all the king's men to check, but apparently Sollux went down to feed her and the door was wide open” Cronus continued to whisper, Kanaya shaking her head. </p>
<p>“This can’t be happening… what has that girl gotten herself into” Kanaya put her hand over her mouth, trying to push out the waterworks. “God, how far could she have gotten by now?” </p>
<p>“On foot, who knows—“ </p>
<p>“Cronus, come on! Let’s go” A masked guard called to him, hustling down the stairs. Cronus nodded, putting out a hand to excuse himself, and running away. </p>
<p>Perfect, this was perfect. </p>
<p>Kanaya turned back into the room, Dirk and Jane right there waiting for her. Aradia gave her a nervous smile, Jane standing up straight. </p>
<p>“Did you find out what was happening?” She asked, folding her fingers together. </p>
<p>“It seems um, well” she struggled with how to word such an announcement “The princess, Roxy, she seems to be… missing from her cell.” </p>
<p>Dirk got uptight fast, a shocked gasp escaped him. It was rare you ever hear someone really gasp, his eyes wide. Such a genuine look on his face, but Kanaya couldn’t read the emotion. Fear, shock, anger? </p>
<p>“You must be joking?” Jane laughed nervously</p>
<p>“Please, excuse me” Aradia said, squeezing past and out the door. The quick patter of her feet got farther away, panicked as she followed the previous staff. </p>
<p>Kanaya shut the door “You must keep away, if she’s still in the castle, god knows what she’d do.”</p>
<p>“Where is she? How did she get out?” Dirk asked </p>
<p>“Well, i’m unsure, all Cronus could tell me was they found the cell with the door open,” </p>
<p>“When did she get out? This morning, or in the nighttime. She would’ve frozen to death” Dirk continues</p>
<p>“I didnt even think of that, how could she have gotten far at all? Or, hid in the castle so long without anyone noticing?” Jane looked to Kanaya in a panic </p>
<p>“Well, your grace, I’m-“</p>
<p>“Oh, you don’t know” Dirk brushed her off, feeling with his foot until he found his armchair, sitting down. Burying his hands in his face, he groaned. </p>
<p>“There’s no way she could be far” Jane tried to soothe</p>
<p>“This can’t be true, how could she have ever managed to escape? If she did, why wait until now. I have guards completely surrounding that dungeon all night, I refuse to believe she could’ve snuck away teasing the idea that she even got out in the first place” Dirk rambled, throwing around his hands in a panic. Jane took his arm, eyebrows scrunched and serious. </p>
<p>“Your highness, please try and remain calm—“ </p>
<p>“Kanaya, please, speak to me like a person” Dirk shouted, catching her off guard. </p>
<p>“Fine, Dirk, you have to stop freaking out because the more you panic, the more me and Jane will panic, and then we won’t get anything done!” She was firm, crouching to his level to look in his eyes. </p>
<p>“How can you ask me to be calm? The women who murdered my parents, who tried to murder me, could possibly be loose in my kingdom or my castle,” </p>
<p>“John” Jane suddenly spoke over him. </p>
<p>“What?” He snapped, aggravated. </p>
<p>“John, he wasn’t in his room this morning. None of us had seen him either” Kanaya was soured by the fact that John's involvement was brought up so early, but it was inevitable. </p>
<p>“What are you saying?” Kanaya decided to play dumb, because Dirk certainly wouldn’t. </p>
<p>“Well, I didn’t mention it before but, his crown and gloves were laid on the blankets and his closet was open and disheveled! I only thought for a moment that it was strange, but I didn’t offer it any further thought” </p>
<p>“I still don’t see your point?” Dirk pinched the bridge of his nose in agitation. </p>
<p>“You’re saying you think John might be a part of this, aren’t you?” Kanaya hoped she looked as sick and pale as she felt, Jane gasping as if hearing it from another mouth was all she needed to comprehend. </p>
<p>“Doesn’t it make sense?” Jane looked down at Dirk “he never truly believed what you told us, he loved Roxy, and now she’s been freed from the castle and John is missing too! It all adds up!” </p>
<p>“This isn’t a mystery novel, Jane” Dirk shot down “So, two people snuck out of the castle unseen, on foot, and magically— the horse.” </p>
<p>“What?” Kanaya scrunched her face, Jane sharing the sentiment. </p>
<p>“The horse! That horse they were looking for” Dirk suddenly clicked, the candle lighting behind his eyes “They must’ve left last night, took the horse, and-“ </p>
<p>“The heavy snow! Once they got outside, they’d disappear” Jane finished his sentence, jumping up in excitement. Not the happy kind, but still excitement. </p>
<p>It was unfortunate how well these two bounced off each other. They would make quite good mystery solvers if they ever needed a day job. </p>
<p>“But how would John get his hands on keys to the cell?” Kanaya prodded, playing her part. </p>
<p>“All he’d have to do was sneak them away from a guard, but who?” Jane questioned back. </p>
<p>“Well who was posted outside his door?” </p>
<p>“We” Dirk suddenly pushed himself up “We have to stop. We need all the details before we try to put this together. What happens if John shows up, then we have nothing” </p>
<p>“You’re right” Jane was quick to validate him, so Kanaya did the same. </p>
<p>The door suddenly slipped open, Kanaya whipping around and putting out an arm to shield the King and Queen. It was only Aradia, however, her bright eyes nervous and scared. </p>
<p>“Where did you go? What did you find out” Kanaya approached her, shutting the door as she took her shoulder. Aradia looked up at her, and then passed her to Dirk and Jane. </p>
<p>“Well, it does indeed seem the princess is missing” She was uncharacteristically quiet, “They are searching the castle now to see if they can find her.” </p>
<p>“And if they don’t?” Dirk stepped forward</p>
<p>“Then it seems she's… gone your highness.” </p>
<p>“I want to speak with the guard who found the cell empty, where is he?” He stepped in front of Kanaya, who backed away. Aradia became physically uncomfortable, and Kanaya would be too, Dirk didn’t really have a track record of treating the staff's significant others with care. </p>
<p>“He’s helping the search of the dungeon, your highness” She put her hand on the doorknob “Should I take you to him?” </p>
<p>“No, you’ll stay here with Jane. Kanaya can take me” He decided, looking back at Jane who was now standing beside him in a second. </p>
<p>“No, please don’t leave me here! I’m so frightened and nervous” She pleaded, but Dirk had little sympathy, forcing her hand off of him. </p>
<p>“You’ll be safe here, you can’t be running around the castle right now.” He said </p>
<p>“Shouldn’t you be here too, then? What happens if something happens to you—“</p>
<p>“Jane, please, sit down” All it took was a rise in his volume and she backed off, whimpering as she took a seat. Aradia left the door and took to her side, whispering quietly to her. </p>
<p>Dirk picked up his cane, huffing, and ushering Kanaya to follow him. She did as she was told, looking back at Jane who was certainly crying. It broke her heart, she was so sensitive, but she had too much on her plate. </p>
<p>Leading Dirk into the hallway, she flashed a smile to Aradia, who couldn’t help but smile back. </p>
<p>“Please try and remain patient with them,” Kanaya said </p>
<p>“Patient? This is probably the worst possible thing that could’ve possibly happened, and you expect me to be understanding and calm?” Dirk scolded </p>
<p>“I don’t expect it from you, I’m pleading it from you” Kanaya shot back, tone too comfortable “There aren't enough healthy men left in the kingdom to replace all the guards who worked last night” </p>
<p>“You don’t understand anything” Dirk looked away</p>
<p>“I understand that this is very new to you, very new to all of us. You’ve never had this much responsibility and partnered with all the stress, your injury, the baby, you must be completely overwhelmed, but you have to—“</p>
<p>“Stop, please” Dirk put out a hand, approaching the propped open doors of the dungeon, a few men waiting for them. At Least, she tried. </p>
<p>The men stood up, all looking between themselves nervously. Most of them were not wearing their helmets, one quickly trying to secure his own. </p>
<p>“Where is he?” Dirk didn’t waste any time, a guard leaning into the dungeon and calling for Sollux. His voice rang and echoed off the stone walls. Every candle was lit in the dark cavern, Kanaya sure half of them hadn’t been lit for decades. </p>
<p>“What?” called an annoyed voice, paired with the heavy sounds of metal clanking footsteps. Turning up the stairs, Sollux looked up nervously, eyes wide. </p>
<p>“Can I talk to you quickly?” Dirk asked, his voice chillingly calm. </p>
<p>“Ah- Of course, your highness” He mumbled, moving up the stairs and passing the group of men, who watched him seriously. </p>
<p>Pulling him aside, Kanaya looked down at him. She was very scared for what might conclude after this conversation, especially with the understanding of how much this man meant to her dear Aradia.</p>
<p>“If you can, please tell me everything of importance about last night and this morning” Dirk had his cane in front of him, placed between his feet, both his hands crossed over each other on the handle. </p>
<p>“Well, last night I was in bed early, as I am every night” That thick lisp was ever present in the words he spoke, even worse now with the nerves “I wake up with the early morning guards so I don’t accidentally sleep in.” </p>
<p>“Hm” Dirk nodded </p>
<p>“Well this morning I had to go down and feed the princess her lunch. I got to the dungeon right before noon, the candle was missing from its usual spot so I had to relight a new one” Sollux recounted “I went into the dungeon, and I only took a few steps before I noticed the door was open. I ran over, pushed it open all the way, and she was gone.” </p>
<p>“Nothing strange?” Dirk leaned forward</p>
<p>“Nothing. I don’t know if this is strange, but I did find the missing candle on the floor near the cell. I assumed another guard had left it behind for her another day.” Sollux was struggling to maintain eye contact. </p>
<p>“Thank you, what’s your name again?” </p>
<p>“Ah, Sollux! Sollux Captor” He stood up straight. </p>
<p>“Wonderful, please continue your search.” Dirk ushered him away and Sollux scurried like a stray cat, running down the stairs in relief. </p>
<p>Kanaya let out the breath she was holding, looking down at Dirk “Well, I guess he won’t be much help.” </p>
<p>“Can you please find me every guard who worked last night, collect them in the throne room, and please send somebody to try and find John.” Dirk ordered, looking around at the men who were trying very hard not to stare at him too obviously. </p>
<p>“Of course, your highness” Kanaya nodded “You shouldn’t be expecting me to leave you alone, however?” </p>
<p>“It’ll be fine, trust me.” Dirk insisted </p>
<p>“But,” </p>
<p>“She isn’t here, I'm sure of it” He said quietly, walking away and out of her sight line. She debated following him, but stuck to following orders. </p>
<p>Sending a guard to find John, which was the very definition of a wild goose chase, and asking every guard if he was on the night shift. </p>
<p>Unsurprisingly, she got a lot of nervous responses, people owning up to being on guard, some expressing their fear of punishment, and some insisting that “sure, they were on duty but on the totally opposite side!” Finally, Kanaya rounded up everyone willing to come clean, including a very terrifying witness; The man her and Aradia had distracted away from his keys. </p>
<p>He was sweating bullets, fearful of what might happen if the king were aware he left his post. What Kanaya feared most, however, was him being able to give a proper description of his distraction. </p>
<p>She wasn’t alone, Cronus helping her keep the men in order, walking with her to the throne room. Things hadn’t been the same since Dave went away, their relationship shriveling into nothing more than a respecting acquaintanceship. They hadn’t been much of friends before, but after seeing the way Gamzee suffered for his kindness, Cronus was less than willing to help her anymore. </p>
<p>Still, she hoped she had convinced even Cronus that she had no involvement in this. His side eye wasn’t very reassuring. </p>
<p>At the door, Kanaya pushed it open, imploring the men to wait for her. Sitting on the throne, good leg pulled up, Dirk lifted his head to attention. His eyes looked tired, sitting right on the throne. </p>
<p>“I’ve collected the guards who worked last night, your highness” Kanaya bowed her head, hands on her thighs, sitting up to look at him directly. </p>
<p>“Oh, perfect” Dirk stood, stepping off the platform and standing next to Kanaya. “Should we… bring them in one by one?” </p>
<p>“Are you asking me?” Kanaya said in surprise</p>
<p>“Well, of course I am” Dirk shook away his pride “I’ve never dreamed of having to do something like this.” </p>
<p>“Hm… well I think so” She nodded, remembering how incredibly stress inducing it was when she had to testify surrounded by her peers. Stress creates enemies, maybe they’d feel more comfortable alone. </p>
<p>“Did you” Dirk fumbled “Find John?” </p>
<p>“Um… no, your highness” Kanaya looked away</p>
<p>“Of course” Dirk sneered, rubbing his face “Call them in.” Dirk pushed her, Kanaya approaching the door and putting a soft hand on it, cracking it and stepping outside. Ushering one in, she urged Cronus to keep the rest under control, create a line if he wanted. </p>
<p>Stepping inside first was a door guard, specifically, the main door. He claimed that him, and the next guy, watched the main doors all night. They never opened, they were never requested to be opened, and they didn’t see anyone come or go. This could be proven relatively easy, considering how much noise that big door made. Him, and his post mate, were excused. </p>
<p>Next, was the stair guard. He was posted at the bottom of the west wing stairs, but claimed to be in rotation around 1am, which put him outside of John's room. When he arrived, he took the keys off the wall, and put them on his belt hook. He saw nothing. </p>
<p>Then, there was the guard who Kanaya was aching about. The teenage boy they had lured away with a bell. He started his guard before bedtime, wishing John goodnight, and standing until midnight. Then his story followed: “I was standing by the west hallway, right outside of the prince’s bedroom, when suddenly I heard a strange noise. It was a bell, or something.”</p>
<p>“Or something?” Dirk asked </p>
<p>“It was definitely a bell” The guard corrected himself “I left my post for only 5 minutes to locate the sound. I would get closer, hear footsteps, and then the sound would be distant again. I followed it all the way up the stairs before giving up. I returned to my post, the keys in the same spot, until trading off at 1am”</p>
<p>He was then asked to leave, but to stay with Cronus outside of the door. Perfect, the story was consistent. Plus, the young guard didn’t even mention seeing a person, or even claiming it was a person. </p>
<p>After that was the dungeon guard. He was meant to be at the door, but around midnight, he was in rotation with the kitchen guard. The kitchen guard came right after, saying that he was at his post until midnight as well, and once he traded with the dungeon guard, he stood at his post until the morning. This was confirmed by the next guy, who said he saw the kitchen guard at his dungeon post when trading with Cronus. </p>
<p>Then, Cronus entered, Kanaya leaving the door open to watch over the knights while he was gone. Cronus said he was watching the hallway, trading with the guard before leaving to trade with the outside guards. He left from the servants exit, but he did take a few extra minutes trying to find his coat and gloves.</p>
<p>Once he was gone, and finally, the two outside guards traded the same story. Outside all night, they couldn't see anything in the snow, and confirmed Cronus had met them. Once they were released from their position, they both went to bed. </p>
<p>Dirk asked for a few to return and repeat their stories: Completely airtight testimonies. </p>
<p>Again, the young guard was called in, </p>
<p>“Did you see the person with the bell?” Dirk asked</p>
<p>“No, your highness, but I could hear the footsteps” The guard remained unwavering, but his shaking revealed his fear, “The only glimpse of them I got was when they were rounding a corner. It wasn’t really them, but I saw the movement, do you understand what I mean?”</p>
<p>“Yes” Dirk said through clenched teeth “Thank you” </p>
<p>Dirk ordered that every guard he spoke to be locked in their bedrooms for the day, and that any guards outside, excluding at the main door, shall be brought inside and questioned. Cronus was ordered to escort them, and Kanaya was ordered to stay. </p>
<p>Turning to Dirk, she sighed, shaking her head. </p>
<p>“How did we learn absolutely nothing?” Dirk mumbled, using his cane to carry him to the throne. </p>
<p>“Well, we certainly couldn’t have learned nothing” Kanaya assured. </p>
<p>“How did two people escape this castle and absolutely nobody noticed?” Dirk asked, but it seemed rhetorical. </p>
<p>“It seems they planned a distraction” Kanaya suggested, standing beside his throne.</p>
<p>“And the escape must’ve happened between midnight and 1am, because that’s when the rotation occurred” Dirk threw in “But that would hardly give them 5 minutes? It doesn’t add up” </p>
<p>“Yes, even with one guard distracted, it would be next to impossible to escape” Kanaya says </p>
<p>“And, back up” Dirk put out his hands “How did he get the keys? If one guard swears he left the keys where they were for only 5 minutes, returned and the keys were still there, and then the next guard kept the keys on him, when did John have time to grab them?” </p>
<p>“I.. can’t say” Kanaya shook her head </p>
<p>“Hm” Dirk hummed “Come with me.” </p>
<p>Dirk pulled Kanaya with him out of the room. Cronus, who was still by the door, stood to attention, watching in confusion as Kanaya looked back at him, being rushed away. Dirk was still fast on his little feet, even with the cane and limp. He drug her to the hallway Johns bedroom was once in, the door now opened, the ground floor littered in guards. </p>
<p>The king walked into the bedroom, completely untouched from how John had left it. Jane's description was perfect, Dirk walking over to the side of the bed. Picking up the crown, he looked at it, and then neatly put it back. He walked to the closet, sweeping his hands over the shirts, back to the bed, and pretended to throw down imaginary clothing in a heap.</p>
<p>Leaving the room again, he walked to the guards post, pretending to take keys off the hook. </p>
<p>“Oh, I see what you're doing” Kanaya spoke up, breaking his concentration. This inspired him to speak. </p>
<p>“—and then, while the guard was away, he took the keys” He said, as if he was starting in the middle of a sentence “Then he ran to the dungeon.” </p>
<p>Kanaya was following him again as he, remarkably, broke down their plan. It was almost embarrassing how easy it was for him to map it out, but shit, it sure worked. Dirk approached the dungeon, which was also still swimming with guards, who watched him. </p>
<p>He pattered down the stairs, Kanaya nervously following him as he rushed around. She didn’t want him to fall or hurt himself. He ran to her cell, where two more guards stood. Kanaya looked at them, they glanced at the King, and she shrugged. </p>
<p>“Then he let her out, but he didn’t have very much time” He mumbled, pulling on the door “He forgot his candle, then he ran with Roxy back outside.” </p>
<p>Off they went, back up the stairs, the guards even more confused as he emerged and darted around the corner. He looked back at Kanaya “Then they ran between the rotation, making it back to the hook and replacing the keys before—“</p>
<p>He slid the imaginary keys back on the hook, taking a step into the hallway before he realized he had done it. Looking down at his foot, and then down the hallway, he looked back at Kanaya. </p>
<p>She widened her eyes, acting shocked. She ran ahead of him, followed quickly, rounding the corner and stopping dead in her tracks at the door in a serious case of déjà vu. </p>
<p>“Oh my god” Dirk mumbled, running ahead of her and opening the door, looking outside. He ran out into the snow, Kanaya quickly following him. She tried to catch him but there was no need.</p>
<p>She ran besides him, pulling on his shirt, trying to get him back inside. She knew he was staring at the stables, taking his own steps backwards as she pulled him inside. He shivered, Kanaya shutting and latching the door. She pulled his hands into hers to warm them. </p>
<p>“What are you thinking? It’s freezing and now your shoes are full of snow,” </p>
<p>“The horse” He mumbled “The horse! They took that fucking horse!” Dirk looked up at Kanaya, pulling his hands away in aggravation. </p>
<p>Kanaya acted surprised, covering her mouth. </p>
<p>Dirk rubbed his face, a small whine escaping his throat before he recomposes himself, shaking out his hands before pushing Kanaya away. </p>
<p>“Dirk, it’s okay to be overwhelmed—“</p>
<p>“Shut up!” He shouted “I’m not overwhelmed, don’t patronize me.” He pushed passed her, back down the hallway. Kanaya quickly caught up, using her better judgment not to take his shoulder. </p>
<p>“Please, we should change your boots, you need to settle down” Kanaya said. She knew he was trying not to panic, trying not to cry, but she shouldn’t point it out again. He put out a hand, unable to answer, speeding passed the guards to the stairs. </p>
<p>“Get Jane, bring her to the throne room” He ordered, running up the stairs in a huff. Kanaya didn't follow, making sure he made it the whole way, disappearing. Kanaya frowned, furrowing her brow. </p>
<p>That child was in way over his head, she scowled, shooting a look at the guards who were staring. They quickly looked down, Kanaya passing and going straight for the library.</p>
<p>She wiggled the doorknob, which was stuck in place, shaking it around angrily. Locked. </p>
<p>“It’s me, darling” She raised her voice just below a shout, pushing her mouth to the door. The door unlatched and Aradia pushed the door open. </p>
<p>“What did you find out?” She asked, pulling Kanaya inside and shutting the door. </p>
<p>“Absolutely nothing, and Dirk stormed off in a fit before we could have a real conversation about it” She was honest, taking a deep breath as she turned to Jane “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t express myself so negatively.”</p>
<p>“Oh, don’t apologize” Jane smiled nervously “We all can find Dirk hard to handle at times!” </p>
<p>“He wants to see you, in the throne room” Kanaya says Jane perking up. </p>
<p>“Really? I hope he’s okay” Jane curled her fingers together “I hate when he gets in a frenzy.” </p>
<p>“We all do,” Kanaya said quietly, opening the door and leading her out “Oh! Aradia, you should go see Sollux.” </p>
<p>Aradia widened her eyes, slipping under Kanayas raised arm, and zipped down the hallway. </p>
<p>Jane looked lost in thought, following Kanaya aimlessly to the throne room. She looked like her dress was growing cumbersome, definitely days away from popping that baby out. Kanaya saw no reason for Jane to be so dressed up, in such pretty gowns, when she should be valuing her comfort. </p>
<p>Regardless, she looked as beautiful as ever. </p>
<p>Kanaya approached the throne room doors, Cronus and the young man from before still standing by, flinching as she approached. He removed his hand from his sword, waving at her half heartedly. </p>
<p>“No word from Di—His majesty?” </p>
<p>“No, he went inside a few minutes ago, but he didn’t say anything to either of us” Cronus shrugged, grabbing the handle and opening the door. </p>
<p>“Perfect” Kanaya mumbled, taking Jane's hand and leading her in front, entering the room with her. </p>
<p>Dirk was sat inside, standing suddenly at her entrance. Jane smiled, quickly meeting him halfway as he slowly made his way off the platform. </p>
<p>“Jane” He said with a sudden softness he didn’t often spare, her smile widening. His voice changed, unlike his usual self, with a gentle and romantic air. She swooned, smiling up at him. He really was getting rather tall, these days. </p>
<p>“What did you need me for?” Jane said quietly </p>
<p>“I just wanted to see you” Dirk said, surprising both of the women “I need your company right now.”</p>
<p>“My darling, of course!” Jane smiled, taking his hands “You don’t have to request my love! It’s unconditional”</p>
<p>“I already feel better” Dirk smiled, pushing her curls behind her ear “Can I ask you something?” </p>
<p>“Yes,” Jane said softly, helping Dirk sit down. Kanaya watched by the door, almost softened by their interaction. It was strange to think Dirk might just really love her after all that fighting against her. </p>
<p>She was always sure he liked men, however, </p>
<p>“Is it wrong that i’m worried about her?” </p>
<p>“Oh Dirk, of course it isn’t” Jane frowned, sitting besides him. They suited the thrones so well “You loved her, it’s hard not to worry” </p>
<p>“At first I was scared for me, and you, but now I'm scared for her,” Dirk mumbled, “It’s freezing outside.” </p>
<p>“It was freezing in the dungeon…” Jane said </p>
<p>Dirk reflected quietly, slowly pulling up his legs to cross them. He flinched but settled comfortably. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry about John,” Dirk said, in a moment of kindness. “I can imagine our suffering is similar.” </p>
<p>“Losing John can’t be anything like losing your sister, I know the pain of losing your family too” Jane said “but, i’m more upset that he felt like he had to lie to me” </p>
<p>“Didn’t he, though?” Dirk turned to her </p>
<p>“I just wonder if maybe he told me how he felt, if I could make this place seem more like home, he would’ve been happier to stay” Jane, obviously getting emotional, cut herself off with a sharp breath. </p>
<p>“It’s alright” Dirk put his hand on hers “You didn’t do anything wrong.” </p>
<p>Kanaya watched as they talked about nothing at all, keeping each other distracted as they avoided finding a way to solve this problem. The longer they waited, the more likely she was to get away with this. </p>
<p>That was followed by countless hours of talking, sometimes rounding back to the task at hand, but then turning into more tangents. Jane would mention the baby, Dirk would mention needing a name, and she’d mention wanting another. Dirk would tell her to slow down and focus on the unborn one she already had. Dirk would mention the missing horse, Jane would say she had never been on a horse, Dirk would act surprised. </p>
<p>It was pleasant to watch, and even served as a distraction for Kanaya. She looked down at her feet, watching as the floor became orange with the sun, nearing the end of the day.</p>
<p>That was until a knock broke the bubble and everyone stopped, turning to it. </p>
<p>Kanaya excused herself and opened the door, Cronus standing at attention. The young guard was gone.</p>
<p>“What’s the matter?” Kanaya lowered her voice </p>
<p>“The new adviser” Cronus leaned in “He’s arrived.”</p>
<p>“Oh, I had completely forgotten!” Kanaya stood to attention, bringing her voice back up to an inside volume. Cronus stepped out of her way, switching places with her, Dirk sitting up. </p>
<p>“What’s going on?” He called to Kanaya, the woman turning her head back to the king. </p>
<p>“The royal advisor” She answered “He’s here.”</p>
<p>“Oh” Dirk sat back in his seat, disappointed. The fun was over, and now that the advisor had arrived, he’d be forced to face the reality of the situation. </p>
<p>Kanaya left the room, speeding to the main entrance, greeted by another few guards. She didn’t recognize a single one of them, all new faces behind their open face shields. At the front door, they stood around one person, who turned away from the painting on the wall to greet her correctly.</p>
<p>He was a short man with a complexion she remembered in her friend Karkat, frightfully skinny, and with long features that made him elegant. He was weasel like in stature with a sly look on his face, big round eyes taking up most of his facial real estate. </p>
<p>“Welcome to Derse, sir” Kanaya bowed her head, hands folded at her lap, “I’m Kanaya, the head servant of the castle.” </p>
<p>“Hello Kanaya” He said, his voice surprising and nothing like she expected, nasally and scratchy “I’m Caliborn, but you knew that already.” </p>
<p>“Of course, I’m sorry to have heard of the snow stopping your travels. We couldn’t return the letter but it was received,”</p>
<p>“Well good, I was hoping it didn’t get lost with Clubs Deuce” Caliborn's mouth creeped into a smile “Did you say Clubs made it okay?” </p>
<p>“Yes, he’s been boarded” Kanaya remembered the arrival of that tiny man, so small she thought he was a<br/>child. His deep voice gave him away, however. </p>
<p>“I’m glad to hear it. This is Spades Slick, my trusted guard” He gestured upwards, Kanaya looking the man in the eyes. He had a deep scar over his right eye, so she tried not to stare. </p>
<p>“My pleasure” Kanaya smiles, turning to the men remaining, one with a comically round face and the other with serious eyes. “And them?” </p>
<p>“I’m Diamond Droog” He spoke hushed, looking up at the tall, big, man. </p>
<p>“Boxcars. Hearts Boxcars” He nearly shouted at her, Kanaya stiffening up. His soft and jolly demeanor was clearly a ruse. Droog nodded his head,</p>
<p>“He’s a gentle giant,” Caliborn insisted, laughing strangely. Those definitely couldn’t be their real names, could they? Regardless, she’d use them. </p>
<p>“Well it’s lovely to meet you all-“ </p>
<p>“They shall all be treated to a room as well as I, correct?” Caliborn interrupted, catching Kanaya off guard. She slowly agreed, fixing her posture. </p>
<p>“Of course” She smiled “You are all honored guests and employees of the king.” </p>
<p>“Incredible” Caliborn mumbled, that grin coming back. </p>
<p>Kanaya nodded with an awkward smile, looking around at his company, letting out a nervous breath. “Unfortunately, you’ve come at a terribly poor time. Please, follow me.” </p>
<p>“Oh?” Caliborn prompted, matching her footsteps exactly, being followed by his guards wordlessly</p>
<p>“I’m not sure how educated you’ve been on the current status of the castle, and the situation that resulted in the king's early inauguration?” Kanaya asked </p>
<p>“Not at all” He was straight to the point </p>
<p>“Well, sadly, the late King and Queen had been murdered by their oldest daughter, following the death of their youngest daughter and their youngests sons running away” She recounted “and his majesty was left alone to run the kingdom, of course with his wife.” </p>
<p>Caliborn was silent, looking up at Kanaya was an unwavering smile. Uncomfortable. </p>
<p>“Early this morning, John, a guest staying at the castle, helped Roxy escape and they are currently on the run” </p>
<p>“My oh my, what luck” Caliborn spoke clearly, hands behind his back, chest puffed out. </p>
<p>“Indeed” Kanaya mumbled, looking down at the tiny man. He was already strange and Kanaya didn’t like him. “The King desperately needs help.” </p>
<p>“Well, I actually think i’ve come just in time” Caliborn sentiments, standing outside of the door, Kanaya pulling open the heavy door with a huff.</p>
<p>She felt the strain leave and her fingers being pulled away, looking up to see Boxcar had grabbed the door above her head, holding it open for her. She smiled nervously, entering the room with the men, Cronus watching from the door as they piled in.</p>
<p>Dirk had sat up, Jane too, who held her stomach with a grin from ear to ear. Dirk had a serious, judgemental, look on his face. Caliborn seemed unphased, continuing to smile. </p>
<p>“His majesty, Dederick Margrave Kirillovich Lalonde the second” Kanaya curtsied, his name such a mouthful “and the Queen, Jane Maryann Lalonde.” </p>
<p>“Good evening, your majesty’s” Caliborn bowed his head, his smile never leaving, the men surrounding him following suit. “I’m Caliborn.”</p>
<p>“Nice to meet you, Caliborn” Dirk said with a critical air, leaning over on his hand. Bored, disinterested, unhappy; This was a bad start. </p>
<p>“I’ve heard you’ve had quite the night, Dederick” Caliborn sentiments, Kanaya leaving him to stand at the foot of Dirks throne. </p>
<p>“If you must shorten my name, please, Dirk is fine.” </p>
<p>“Wonderful” Caliborn visibly grinds his teeth “Dirk,” </p>
<p>“And that’s true, probably one of the most dreadfully awful days I’ve had for several months.” </p>
<p>“Then I’d say I’ve arrived at the perfect time” Caliborn stated, Dirk blinking, still unmoved. Kanaya was very scared of his bullheaded stubbornness getting the best of him. “I’d love to talk about this sister of yours.” </p>
<p>“Her name is Roxy” Dirk said </p>
<p>“Roxy, of course” Caliborn nodded “My condolences.” </p>
<p>“I’ve heard it enough” Dirk hurried him along, rolling his wrist in a waving motion. Jane looked at him, leaning forward in her seat. </p>
<p>“We miss her dearly, regardless of the circumstances, John too” Jane insisted, Dirk offering no protest. </p>
<p>“John, yes, i’ve heard that name” Caliborn smiles “Please, tell me who is this John you speak of?” </p>
<p>“John was a guest my father invited to stay in the palace, the former King of Thailand. Following my fathers death, I extended his stay” Dirk answered “He was a long time family friend.” </p>
<p>“And he helped your murderous sister escape the castle?” Caliborn was dramatically shocked</p>
<p>“Allegedly“ Dirk slumped further into his hand </p>
<p>“He loved her—” Jane budded in, </p>
<p>“Allegedly.” Dirk was more firm, shooting a look at Jane</p>
<p>“Very chatty” Caliborn commented, Jane sitting back in her seat sadly. Dirk scrunched his eyebrow, lips pressing together angrily. Kanaya also found the comment not only inappropriate, but offensive. “You don’t seem to have very good luck with the people you trust, hm?” </p>
<p>“Excuse me?” Dirk sat up, letting his hand smack the armrest, hard. </p>
<p>“I’m only being honest” Caliborn laughed “Just mentally reviewing the record, it seems you often have people escape you, or ruin you. Your brother ran away, your sister murdered your parents, the man you trusted in your home helped her get away. It’s all rather unfortunate, as Kanaya said before.” </p>
<p>Surprisingly, Dirk listened. </p>
<p>“Can I give you a word of advice? Please let me know if i’m acting out of turn” Caliborn asked</p>
<p>“Go ahead” Dirk remained angry, his face still scrunched as he put a hand over Janes, who still seemed offended. </p>
<p>“Call it my first act as your advisor, but I think you are too soft” Caliborn put his hands against his lap, smiling “soft to your employees, your family, and really, your people as a whole. They don’t fear you, they don’t fear what you can do to them.” </p>
<p>Caliborn steps forward, leaving his posse behind him, waving his hands around as he continued, </p>
<p>“Correct me if I'm wrong, but I gather you fire people on a whim. Any short mistake, any misstep, any disagreement: Boom, gone” Caliborn snaps his fingers “I mean, I saw three people leaving in tears as I got here. Still, they continue to misbehave, no?” </p>
<p>“That’s true…” Dirk agreed </p>
<p>“And, really, there’s no shame in being strict. My father always believed that tough love was most effective, but I don’t think love has much to do with being royalty at all” Caliborn says “,and, if you’ll allow it, I think it’s safe to say the people under you often think of you as a child, am I wrong to say that?” </p>
<p>Dirk didn’t answer, nodding. Kanaya very much did not like this conversation and where it was going. </p>
<p>“I can’t say from experience, but it can’t be easy to go through as much pain, loss, and hardship as you. This is a lot of responsibility for such a young king” Caliborn sympathizes, voice softening “Especially when you act out of anger.”</p>
<p>“So what do you think, then? Hm, what do you think I should do?” Dirk was accusatory, obviously offended and unsure of Caliborn's reliability. </p>
<p>He was laying it on very hard, which was one way to go about it, but if Kanaya knew anything about Dirk, it was that you should approach him with compassion. That stubbornness was still strong however, Dirk remaining unamused. </p>
<p>“I think you should act, instead of continuing to say” Caliborn was unphased by Dirks tone “Obviously firing them isn't working, and I personally don’t think your, hm, how do I say, I don’t think you're cutting the hair at the root.” </p>
<p>“What do you mean?” Dirk scowled </p>
<p>“How did your brother get away, If i can ask.” </p>
<p>“Ah, well, If you have to know— A guard helped him escape with his… lover, and his family in the kingdom gave them money and an escape route. He was snuck out of his room while we waited for my father to return home” Dirk answered drearily</p>
<p>“Uh huh, and your sister was helped similarly, yes?” </p>
<p>“Yes, she was.” Dirk was stoic</p>
<p>“While I think the staff is obviously to blame, I don’t<br/>think you're directing your anger, or power, correctly” Caliborn stuck out his bottom lip in a mocking form of sympathy “Can I suggest something?” </p>
<p>“Just say what you want to say” Dirk shouted, making Jane jump uncomfortably. </p>
<p>“I think to really show them that you are serious, and not the child they assume of you, they need to face serious consequences” Caliborn nodded “Take from them what they took from you.” </p>
<p>Dirk stared at him with that same angry expression, but in a sigh, he raised his head curiously. “What do you have in mind?” </p>
<p>A wicked grin spread from ear to ear on Caliborn's smug face, stepping closer and darting his eyes over to Kanaya. The look hurt, and she stiffened up, trying to make a mean face back. </p>
<p>“You should take from them what they took from you” Caliborn said simply “Everyone who works here is probably from your poorer community, big families in small homes, who’s to say your sister isn’t currently hiding with one of them right now! Would that really be too far fetched?” </p>
<p>“I didn’t think of it like that” Dirk softened</p>
<p>“Of course not, most wouldn’t” Caliborn put a hand on his chest “I think it’s due time you get on a horse and go down there yourself, show them who’s in charge.” </p>
<p>Kanaya felt sick to her stomach, looking back at Dirk who, unfortunately, seemed to be contemplating it. She wanted to protest, to speak out, but he seemed to be easily manipulated by this smooth talker and she feared facing punishment herself.</p>
<p>Looking back, she did see the nervous look on Jane's face. Clearly, she was not pleased. </p>
<p>“Fine, but it better not be a waste of my time” Dirk put a hand on the armrest, trying to push himself up. Kanaya quickly ran to his aid, helping the struggling man to his feet. He shouldn’t be riding a horse, but now that he had his mind set on it, Kanaya couldn’t talk him down. </p>
<p>“I think you’ll find it most effective” Caliborn put his hands together, the 4 men surrounding him again “I’ll come with you as well, hm?” </p>
<p>“You better,” Dirk answered, taking his cane and carrying himself off the podium. Kanaya went to Jane, who was distracted by Dirk, her face filled with worry. </p>
<p>“Of course, your majesty” Caliborn nodded, balling his hands into tight fists. If nothing, his patience was legendary, Dirk was not easy.</p>
<p>Jane finally stood, ignoring Kanaya and catching up to Dirk on the steps. She put a hand on his shoulder, a frown on her face. “Dirk, I don't think this is a good idea, sometimes you can be irrational when your upset,“ </p>
<p>“Jane, please” Dirk shut her down, Kanaya coming down to them and taking Jane's hand “You should lay down, you must be exhausted.” </p>
<p>“I’m not laying down until you return home” Jane protested, ignoring Caliborn's glaring “You shouldn’t even go! You shouldn’t be on a horse, you can’t keep putting your body under stress!” </p>
<p>“I know you care about me, but you are annoying me” Dirk snapped, turning to face her “Please, just go with Kanaya. Get away from me” </p>
<p>Kanaya eyes widened, watching tears instantly flood Jane's eyes, her lip quivering like a child. Dirks face softened, but he had already hurt her feelings, she quickly left the room in tears. Kanaya ran after her, looking back at Dirk for only a second, before trying to catch up with the Queen. </p>
<p>“Jane” Kanaya called, running after her and up the stairs “Jane!” </p>
<p>“Why does he do that” Jane turned around as she reached the top of the stairs “He’s so nice to me all day, and then he turns around and treats me horribly! It’s torture!” </p>
<p>The Queen hurried down the hall towards her room, Kanaya rushing over her with an annoyed huff. </p>
<p>“Oh Jane, you know he makes rash comments when he’s upset! He didn’t mean to hurt your feelings!” Kanaya insisted, keeping up with her well. Jane stopped at her door, leaning against it. </p>
<p>“He can’t treat everyone he loves like that forever! He’s so cruel and awful, and I know he knows how to be kind, but he just doesn’t do it. He’s so sweet to me in those moments, when he laughs and holds my hands, but then he turns around and ruins it” Jane sobbed, Kanaya watching with sad eyes “I don’t understand, and the very idea that he could be faking such affections to please me breaks my heart!” </p>
<p>“Jane, he’s not faking-“ </p>
<p>“His family didn’t get stolen from him, they left him! And i’m starting to understand why!” Jane cried, pulling open the door and slamming it behind herself. </p>
<p>Kanaya stood in shock, sighing and knocking. She could hear Jane crying, and she knew to stop advancing. Lowering her hand, Kanaya looked back down the stairs, watching as the 4 men passed by, Spades glaring up at her. </p>
<p>She stiffened her posture, the men moving on and down the hallway, led only by Cronus. </p>
<p>Whoever these men were, and wary of their intentions, she decided to see exactly what they were up to, and to find out exactly who Caliborn really was. </p>
<p>Vriska found herself in a much simpler situation, strolling home the long way from the market, having scrounged up enough money to get cheese and meats. </p>
<p>She looked over her small corner of the city, looking up at the sky as it started to turn yellow and gold with the<br/>evening. She wore the coat John left her, shivering as a bitter breeze hit her face. The sunset was especially beautiful tonight, with swirling clouds and a deep orange color, even though she found it lovely. </p>
<p>“Hey, Vriska” a voice called, the woman turning to the three men who often slummed outside the bar. </p>
<p>“What do you want?” She smacked her lips, tightening her hand around the bag handle. </p>
<p>“That uh, fellow on the horse, what’s his deal?” He called, taking a drag from his cigar. </p>
<p>“None of your fucking buisness” She stomped towards him, pushing up her chest “Stop talking about it.”</p>
<p>“Ah, sorry girl, didn’t mean to piss you off” He threw up his hands, his friends standing to attention “Just wondering since he slept at your place.” </p>
<p>“No he didn’t, nobody stayed at my place last night” Vriska spit “I said don’t talk about it.” </p>
<p>“Yes Ma’am” He said defensively, Vriska walking away in a huff. Adjusting the bag, she hurried the rest of the way home, weaving through the houses. </p>
<p>She walked to the door, pushing it open, calling Terezis name. The blind woman quickly came down the stairs, hand hovering over the railing, running around and up to Vriska happily. </p>
<p>“Did you get it?” She chirped </p>
<p>“Yes I did” Vriska said proudly, laughing as she handed the woman the bag. Dumping out the cloth sack, Terezi grabbed everything in one hand, feeling around the cupboard and putting them away. </p>
<p>“Finally, our cupboards are full!” She grinned </p>
<p>“Full? That’s an overstatement, but I’ll take it.” </p>
<p>Vriska turned towards the door as the sounds of horses filled the plaza outside her house. Lots of horses hooves on stone, she’d say. </p>
<p>She associated that sound with three things: Taxes, Raiders, and Trouble. Pushing on Terezi lightly, the woman going silent, Vriska walked to the door and cracked it. The bitter wind hit her face as she peaked out, the sun setting over the houses.</p>
<p>The plaza was full of men on horses, each with its own royal guard saddle and back sheet. The people outside pushed against walls, putting out their cigars, and shut their doors. Some came outside to see what was happening, Vriska shimmying off the coat and tossing it up the stairs, pushing Terezi to do the same. </p>
<p>“What’s going on?” Terezi asked, one foot on the step. </p>
<p>“I don’t know yet, stay upstairs” Vriska insisted, pushing open the door fully to go outside. </p>
<p>Nobody left their porches, a familiar blonde head atop the horse at the front, looking around. She knew Dave, she met Roxy and Rose, but Dirk was still elusive to her. She saw his Coronation, they were born in the same year, and she knew about every person she’d known as a child had been fired and beaten by him. </p>
<p>Vriska slipped her hands into her pockets, leaning against her house with a suspicious expression. </p>
<p>The men surrounding him hopped off their own horses, a group of 4 she had never seen, approaching people’s doors and demanding to enter. Vriska tensed up, but remained cool as a man approached her. </p>
<p>“I demand to enter, by order of the King” He shouted, Vriska dramatically wiping his spit off her face. </p>
<p>“Fuck no” She laughed, pushing herself off the wall and covering the door “Move on, you can’t come in here.” </p>
<p>She looked out across the plaza, watching as people were shoved out of their homes, some shouting as their homes were raided. </p>
<p>“Get out of my way” The man demanded, Vriska unconvinced </p>
<p>“Move. On” She hissed, shocked as she was smacked across her face. Followed by a backhand, Vriska stumbled against the railing, the man forcing her door open and advancing. She was quick on her feet, running after him and jumping to grab his shoulders.</p>
<p>The man choked, stumbling back, and throwing her off. </p>
<p>“Vriska, what’s going on?” Terezi called, hurrying down the stairs. </p>
<p>Grabbing her arm, the man pulled Terezi down, the girl stumbling and her ankle rolling as she hit the stairs. Vriska shouted, back on her feet and running at him, punching and slapping him. </p>
<p>Terezi panicked, thrashing against him and trying to regain her balance, feeling around for the railing. The man shoved Vriska a final time, taking a fistful of her hair, dragging them both towards the door, and throwing them outside. Vriska hit the floor first, reaching out to stop Terezi from hitting the ground. </p>
<p>“Rezi, are you okay?” Her voice cracked, pulling her to her feet. Angrily, Vriska stomped back towards the house, but Terezi held her. </p>
<p>“I’m okay! Don’t go back in, you’ll get hurt again”</p>
<p>“What are these fucking assholes doing” Vriska shouted, turning towards the plaza, holding Terezi close to her. The horses swayed, looking around with huffs and shakes of their heads, only two men left atop the horses. The king, Dirk, and that stranger. Vriska wanted to approach him herself, say some choice words, but even in the pit of her black, angry, stomach, she feared him. </p>
<p>“Are you okay” Vriska brought her attention back to Terezi, who looked up with that same toothy grin. </p>
<p>“Yeah! A little fall never killed nobody” Terezi laughed, picking up her skirt and feeling her butt “I am covered in dirt, though…”</p>
<p>“Well, let me—“ Vriska started brushing her off, before looking up as two familiar faces shoved through the growing crowd of people towards them. </p>
<p>Kanaya's family, the Maryams, Porrim and Delarosa. </p>
<p>“Terezi, Vriska” Porrim ran over “I saw that fall, are you two okay?” </p>
<p>“Yeah yeah” Vriska pushed her off “I don’t know what fucking buisness they have throwing me out of my own home, though.” </p>
<p>“It seems they are searching everyone” Rosa said, her voice maternal and comfortable, although deep for a woman to have “I couldn’t tell you why.”</p>
<p>“Probably nothing good” Terezi said, her smile unfitting </p>
<p>“I do hope Kanaya is okay,” Rosa mumbled, fixing her skirt which swayed against the mud. </p>
<p>The sun slowly fell under the houses, the sky now dark as if the sun wasn’t there at all, a hint of light blue still clinging to the sky. Vriska watched as everyone gathered around, the guards emerging from house to house as some still put up a fight. They watched as people’s things were thrown outside, sitting areas being destroyed, a man yelling. </p>
<p>Vriska stood in the back, Terezi behind her, holding her hand tightly. Watching as the king grew more uncomfortable and impatient, he kept no secrecy. </p>
<p>“This is a waste of my time” Dirk turned to the man on his side, his horses head whipping around. A few people drew their attention, as Dirk spoke as if he meant for all of them to hear.</p>
<p>“Your majesty, please, patience is a virtue” The man grimaced, trying to retain a smile “If there truly is nothing here, at least let them finish their searches to be sure.” </p>
<p>Dirk scrunched his face, shaking his head dismissively. It was when the same man who had assaulted them had emerged from the house, quick on his feet…</p>
<p>with a coat in his hands. </p>
<p>Vriska choked up, watching as the man sped to the horses, holding it out with a firm grip. Vriska let go of Terezi, demanding she stay put, Porrim grabbing her arm to make sure it was so. Vriska pushed through the crowd, most moving out of her way as she shoved to the front, seeing Dirks horse face to face. </p>
<p>The king took it from the man, pulling it to his face and examined it, opening it to look at the seams. </p>
<p>“John's coat?” Dirk mumbled, jerking forward suddenly as Vriska made it to the front of the crowd, taking the coat in a fistful and ripping it from his hands. His crown slid down his head, resting on the bridge of his nose, letting out a searing noise of pain. </p>
<p>“That’s mine!” She shouted, quickly being jumped and restrained. The coat was pried from her fingers as a tiny, child-like, man pulled her arms behind her back. </p>
<p>Dirk groaned, eyebrows furrowing, pushing up his crown with a free hand on his side. He huffed, sitting up straight with clenched teeth. His company, the strange man, smiled sinisterly. </p>
<p>“This is property of the palace—“ </p>
<p>“How did you get this?” Dirk asked, cutting off the guard, surprisingly calm. Vriska huffed, struggling against the unexpected strong grip around her wrists. </p>
<p>“I found it” Vriska snarked</p>
<p>“Found it?” Dirk cocked his head, looking to Caliborn who was now frowning, slowly shaking his head too. </p>
<p>“Now give it back” Vriska barked, lunging forward with no luck “It’s mine!” </p>
<p>“Give it to me, Boxcar” Dirk disregarded her, the biggest man handing it to him, the King smoothing his hand over it. The coat was extremely expensive, lovely in texture and priceless in the dye it was colored with, even the inside lined with a warm wool fabric “Where did you find it?” </p>
<p>“It was left behind at the bar so I took it,” Vriska said, pulling on her arms again. The king looked over to his company, rubbing the coat in his hands, the man on the horse next to him shaking his head. </p>
<p>“She’s lying to you, your highness, clearly” He rolled his eyes, putting a hand out towards her, “why get all defensive over a coat you stole? Unless you knew of its origin.” </p>
<p>“Did you see the owner of the coat? Did you see who left it behind?” Dirk asked, dismissive. </p>
<p>“No, unlike entitled royals, I don’t take things that don’t belong to me, and raid homes that I don’t live in—” Vriska was cut off by a punch to her stomach, Boxcar putting his hand on her shoulder and punching her a second time. Her knees buckled and she landed on them, the small man behind her throwing her down. Spit flew out of her mouth as he drove a third punch into her, Vriska curling and falling on her side. </p>
<p>On the ground, Vriska balled up, putting her arms around her head to protect herself as all four men ganged up on her, beating her into the dirt. Dirks horse backed up, the king with a look of distaste, looked over at Caliborn. He shrugged with a smile, watching as Vriska was beaten. She let out cries of pain, trying to remain composed, but it was impossible under such circumstances. </p>
<p>“Stop it, Stop!” She heard a familiar voice, one that filled her with dread. Terezi came up on them, trying to grab them and pull them off, grunting as they shoved her back. She stumbled, falling into the crowd as a few of them gasped in surprise. </p>
<p>Why did she think getting involved was a good idea, Vriska would never understand, but she had to get her away. Terezi didn’t stop, being pushed back on her feet by someone at the front of the crowd, running back against the guards with a shout. The guard grabbed Terezi’s shoulder, the girl screaming and pushing on his face, trying to get away. </p>
<p>“Terezi, go!” Vriska yelled, her hair being pulled. The people at the front of the crowd started getting riled up, shouting for the king to put an end to this, some pushing against the guards' restraint themselves. </p>
<p>“w,wait Stop!” The king shouted, the 4 men freezing, letting go of Vriska long enough for her to stumble back to her feet, wiping her bleeding nose. Terezi still shouted, breaking her arm free and colliding with Vriska, she opened her arms and held her close. </p>
<p>“What are you doing?” Caliborn snarked, turning towards the king who was burning holes into Terezi with that mean stare. He let out a haggarded breath, the crowd gone silent, fixing his posture. </p>
<p>“Her, bring her here,” Dirk pointed at Terezi, looking at the tallest of the guards, who stood still. </p>
<p>“You heard him Droog, Slick, bring her here” Caliborn commands, the men gripping on to Terezi and ripping her from Vriska. Vriska shouted, grabbing her waist and pulling her back, the guards pulling on her arms. Vriska could only hold on for so long as an elbow was driven into her face, making her dizzy, stumbling backwards. Terezi was pulled from her arms. </p>
<p>Terezi struggled, disoriented and confused, dragging her feet and putting up a fight. Restrained by her arms, struggling with her hair disheveled, she looked towards the sky and somewhat at the king. </p>
<p>The last guard, Boxcar, kept Vriska away from her. </p>
<p>You could hear a pin drop in the crowd as Terezi was presented for the King, Dirk’s face distorting into something nasty. He leaned down, using the back of his fingers to gently push the hair in her face behind her shoulder, slipping his hand under the lily pendant around her neck. Holding the charm in his hand, he sucked in a sharp breath, shaking his head. </p>
<p>Slowly, he wrapped his hand around the necklace, pulling his foot from the stirrup. In one quick motion, Dirk pulled on the necklace, lifting his foot up, and kicking Terezi in her sternum. The woman flew backwards, getting ripped from the guards grasp, the necklace snapping off into Dirks hand. </p>
<p>As she hit the ground, Vriska screamed, ripping her arms away and stumbling on her knees, finishing her run to Terezi in a crawl. Terezi hit her head hard, unconscious from the fall, Vriska pulling her limp body into her arms. At the assault, people started to shout in protest again, some charging on the king with no luck. </p>
<p>Looking up at him, Vriska saw him looking down at the necklace in his hand, rubbing his thumb over the charm. How could they be so stupid, this was all of her fault, they should’ve sold that necklace the second they got it. Rubbing Terezis head, Vriska pulled her into her lap, kissing her forehead. </p>
<p>“I can’t believe this” Dirk said, so quietly Vriska was sure if she wasn’t so close she wouldn’t have heard it, then he addressed the crowd “, Enough!” </p>
<p>Silence again, as he started. </p>
<p>“This, this is over” He shouted, gesturing his hand in a circle over the crowd, Caliborn looking at him happily “You've gotten away with treason towards the royal family for far too long. All of you, all of you who helped my brother, all of you who helped my sister. You should be proud that because of your crimes, innocent people will suffer tonight. You all think of my family as soft, you think of me as soft, some child who has too much responsibility, but things have changed. You will see what happens to you when you do these things, when you protect each other, when you break rules. The old king is dead, and everything is different now.” </p>
<p>The crowd was unmoved, holding on to each other. </p>
<p>“Caliborn, find the Maryams.” Dirk demanded, loud enough for everyone to hear. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry, your majesty, what?” He grinded his teeth </p>
<p>“The Maryams, get them from the crowd, have them grab their things from their home, and take them to the castle” He instructed, Caliborn looking down at his guards, flexing at them in a threatening manner. Two of them shoved through the crowds to obey the orders “They mean a great deal to my family” He said flatly, turning back to the crowd deep in thought.</p>
<p>Vriska hugged Terezi closer as she stirred, looking back into the crowd as she heard a familiar shout of refusal. Porrim’s loud screaming, the crowd parting to let them through, the guards struggling to hold on to the wiggling woman. Brought to the horse, she was forced on to it, fighting against the restraints on her wrists. Were they under arrest?</p>
<p>Only seconds later, Delarosa was pushed hastily as well, keeping her composure with her chin high. She had a small bag, supposedly full of her and Porrims things, ripping her hand away and helping herself atop the horse. Dirk watched until they were saddled, scanning around the crowd quietly. People started to murmur, some backing into their homes, the man with the cigar still watching from the saloon porch. </p>
<p>“Burn it down,” Dirk said calmly, yanking on his reins so the horse would turn, starting his return up the mountainside. </p>
<p>Shouts of surprise erupted, some looking around and asking others what he had said. Caliborn seemed to have heard him just fine that time, pointing his guards towards the bar, pushing the bar owner down to storm the building, pulling flame from the shelves. </p>
<p>“You can’t! Stop, you can’t!” Vriska called towards the king desperately, hugging Terezi nearer. Still, him, and the horses carrying the Maryams, turned unphased into the inner city. </p>
<p>The guards lit torches, men shouting and rushing around, women crying in shock as the flame was put to the saloon roof, quickly engulfed in fire. This kick started a panic, a child crying as a woman pulled it into her arms by its hand, people throwing their things out of the windows to save them, some cranking the well to try and retrieve water. The castle guards, on horseback, overpowered the townspeople, quickly following orders regardless. </p>
<p>The guards lit homes on fire even when people were running in and out of them, careless like puppets as they destroyed the small city in the name of the King. </p>
<p>Vriska lifted Terezi up by her armpits, dragging her heavy wife to the fountain in the center of the plaza, all though the damn thing hadn’t worked properly in years and wouldn’t serve her any good. </p>
<p>Pushing Terezi’s face into her shoulder, she watched her home become engulfed in flame.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Here i’ll say it for you —&gt; “Holy shit, Dirk!”</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Sunshine and Baby Brothers</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Roxy and John meet a kind bartender, Prospit is introduced, and a man in a red cape leads them home.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Roxy kept the horse at a run, bouncing as her hair whipped around her face, coat pooled around her waist, putting a cushion between her and John. </p><p>After the first night, John was exhausted by travel, switching places with her. Somehow, he was able to sleep for a few hours on the bumpy journey, hugging around her like a pillow. </p><p>The second night, John retook the reins, slowing their pace but continuing forward. Slowly, the air became cool, and she was too hot to wear the coat. The first night she would slide it back on, but tonight she’d leave it off. After a few hours, they switched again, Roxy laying the coat over the saddle for extra cushion. They passed through the night silently, no cities in sight. </p><p>Now, she looked around, the sun setting on the third night of their travels. Soon, she prayed, soon they’d get there. Or atleast, they’d find somewhere to stop. The last night they had heard the howling of a wild animal, and it scared John so bad he couldn’t sleep tonight, loosely braiding Roxy’s short hair. </p><p>He couldn't really get the hair to braid, so he was mostly just twisting around the pieces over and over. Regardless, it soothed her, calming her relentless anxiety. Their horse started to dwindle, stumbling and shaking her head, only able to speed up in small, forced, bursts of energy. </p><p>“Roxy, we have to stop” John insisted “She's exhausted, we’re exhausted, do I have to remind you that you haven’t slept more than an hour in 2 days?” </p><p>“You don’t have to remind me, trust me, I feel it” Roxy rolled her shoulders. “I’m just too scared to stop. What if we aren’t far enough?” </p><p>“Look around!” John laughed, throwing his arms out “The ground is dry and green, and the trees have leaves. However far we are, we are far enough away to rest for even just a few hours.” </p><p>“You have to stop being right, it’s getting on my nerves” Roxy turned her head to face him as much as possible, elbowing him. “Deciding we want to stop is one thing, but finding somewhere to stop is another.”</p><p>Roxy looked around, slowly keeping the horse moving forward as they looked for any visible sign of people. On the bright side, if they were in the middle of deserted nothingness, at least they’d be a hell of a lot safer. She would suggest sleeping on the ground, but John had gotten to her about those howling dogs. </p><p>“Oh, look!” John called, leaning forward and pressing his chest against her back, pointing out at a bloom of dust following a large herd of animals. </p><p>As they trampled along, they kicked up the dirt and dust, almost making it impossible to see the small shepherd boy following them. He was directing them by smacking his staff against their sides, forcing them to keep a formation. She didn’t want to scare his stock so she approached cautiously, but she didn’t want to lose him. They only approached for a moment before the boy noticed them, tensing up and putting out his staff as a barrier for the sheep to stop moving. </p><p>“Excuse us!” Roxy called, putting out a hand. </p><p>The boy was silent, his nervous face twitching as he proved to stand taller and look tougher. He was rather young, Roxy guessing 11 or 12, his stature lanky, but by no means frail. His sheep pressed and huddled around his legs, making heaps of noise. </p><p>“I’m sorry to bother you, and I don’t mean to scare your sheep, but could you give us directions?” Roxy asked softly, trying not to raise her voice. </p><p>“Directions?” The boy repeated, loosening the tense grip on his staff. </p><p>“Yes, to the nearest town” Roxy said </p><p>“I’m heading that way, but you don’t want to follow me” He shook his head “I’m going up the mountain on foot, your horse won’t make it. Take the long way, keep going straight until you see the stream, then follow it to Pamplona.”</p><p>“You said Pamplona?” </p><p>“Yes, that’s the closest city” He assured, lifting his feet and pushing his sheep back on their way, hitting their legs with his staff to get them trotting. </p><p>“Thank you!” John called, the boy simply glancing back at them and rushing away. Roxy followed his directions, although vague, did the job. </p><p>“I hope he knew what he was talking about” Roxy peered forward, trying to spot the stream he was referring to. The grass was becoming thicker, but where they trotted was still beaten down into the earth. That was probably a good sign, because that meant this road was better traveled. </p><p>“I’m worried for him and his sheep” John said “It’s nearly dusk and he’s still headed home?” </p><p>“Hopefully that means we aren’t very far” Roxy smiled</p><p>They were riding for only a few minutes by Roxy’s count, the sun not even down yet, as they came up on the stream the boy referred to. It wasn’t large enough to be a river, but it wasn’t a simple forest creek. It was small enough that the horse only put one foot in it before crossing, Roxy turning to follow it. </p><p>Riding blindly, Roxy lifted her hand to shield the setting sun from her eyes, focusing on the roofs of buildings. Her excitement nearly made her sick, putting a hand on John’s thigh. “Look, look!” She pointed wildly </p><p>“Yes, thank god” John laughed “I’m gonna lead the horse on foot, okay?” </p><p>And he did so, dismounting the horse and pulling on the reins instead, walking in front of them. Roxy looked around in awe as they approached the city, unlike anything she had ever seen before. </p><p>Approaching the city, people looked up from their homes and from their stalls, pausing their work to watch the strangers pass down the street on the horse. Most people seemed to be preparing for bed, pulling in dry clothing and rounding up children, but everyone stilled as they walked through. It made Roxy nervous, like they had broken a rule they didn’t know existed. </p><p>John led the horse to the only public building that looked obvious to them, a large building with all the lights on. Pulling the horse to the front, he looped the reins around a support beam, helping Roxy down. Watched the entire time they entered, they were finally spared from stares as they came into the almost completely barren bar. Almost barren, besides the bartender, who was indeed looking at them funny. </p><p>“Good evening” She spoke first, slowly shining a glass.</p><p>“Hello,” Roxy croaked nervously “Do you mind if we just sit down for a while, we won’t be long.” </p><p>“Of course not” she smiled, putting down the glass and starting on another. </p><p>John sighed as he sat down, laughing quietly with Roxy as he stretched. She didn’t even want to sit, standing, putting her hands on the small of her back, and bending backwards to crack it. It felt very good to be off that damn horse, John crossing his arms and resting his head, Roxy rubbing his shoulder. </p><p>“Long travels?” The bartender called, setting down the next glass and working on a third. </p><p>“You don’t know the half of it” Roxy answered</p><p>“Your friend looks tired,” She smiled, “I have rooms upstairs, if you need some place to stay for the night.”</p><p>“That’s very kind of you but we don’t have any money, at least not any money you can accept” Roxy moved her hand as John lifted his head, resting on his hand to listen to the conversation. </p><p>“Well what do you have?” She asked, setting down the glass and tossing her rag in the bin. John pulled the bag off his shoulder and stood with Roxy, both of them moving to the bar seating. </p><p>Digging in the bag, Roxy pulled out a few coins she fished from the bottom. She avoided the letter to Karkat, trying to keep their stuff hidden away. </p><p>“Rubles” Roxy dumped them on the counter, pushing them towards the bartender. </p><p>“Wow, you really have come far” She nodded, raising her eyebrows, picking up a coin, flipping it around between her fingers “What brings you here?” </p><p>“I’m looking for my brother” Roxy looked at John, who was half asleep again “He ran away last September, came here with a… friend.” </p><p>“Do you know what city he went to?” The bartender asked, placing the coin back down on the counter. </p><p>“No idea” Roxy sighed “All we know is he went to Spain…”</p><p>The bartender looked down awkwardly, opening her mouth and looking back up at Roxy before stopping herself. Putting up a hand to be excused, she turned around and pulled open a few drawers, rifling through them as if searching for something. Pulling something into her hand, closing her fist around it, she turned back to Roxy with purpose. </p><p>“I think, you just” She stumbled “You reminded me so much of a similar conversation I had with a young man a few months ago. Something like déjà vu” </p><p>“Really?” Roxy questioned </p><p>“Yes, early one morning this man and his spanish friend stopped at my bar to rest, just like the both of you, and he gave me this…”</p><p>She held out her hand, revealing what she was hiding. Sitting in the center of her palm was a ruble, very similar to the ones Roxy has just dumped on the table. Her heart leaped into her throat, her legs going wobbly. </p><p>“Do.. do you remember what he looked like?” Roxy trembled as she spoke, twiddling her fingers. </p><p>“He was a younger boy, blonde and talkative too” She recounted “I can’t remember what he was wearing, or his name, but his company was ah… something Vantas-“</p><p>“Vantas? Did you say Vantas!?” Roxy smiled, laughing with an excitement indescribable “That's them, oh my god that’s them!” </p><p>John was scared awake by her yelling, looking up at her with concern. Roxy grabbed his face and kissed his temple, doing a spin to expel her energy. John sat up and laughed, touching the kiss and reaching out a hand to touch her arm. </p><p>“Well i’ve only ever met two Russians, you and him” The bartender chuckled “I guess I connected the dots” </p><p>“Did they tell you where they were going? Did they tell you anything” Roxy leaned over the counter. </p><p>“They were headed to Prospit” She said with confidence “The spanish one said he had family there.” </p><p>“Oh my god, I could kiss you!” Roxy laughed happily, pulling on John to stand, “We have to go!” </p><p>“Wait, please” The bartender protested “Please stay and rest, you both look like you need it.” </p><p>“But-“ </p><p>“I think she’s right, Roxy” John rubbed his face, smiling “I’m excited too, but we’ve been riding for days.” </p><p>“Oh… okay” Roxy huffed to calm herself “But we-“</p><p>“Stay free of charge” The bartender insisted “I want to see you both safely reunited.” </p><p>“You must be an angel” Roxy smiled, tears in her eyes “What’s your name?” </p><p>“Calliope” She smiled, rounding the bar. </p><p>Showing the couple upstairs, she opened a door and led them into a bedroom. It had one bed in the center, a chest at the foot, and the floor was covered in technicolor woven rugs. They were beautiful. </p><p>“I’m sorry this is all I have” She lowered her head </p><p>“It’s perfect, thank you” Roxy assured her, turning to John who was sleepily hanging his bag over the end of the bed, sitting down and yawning. </p><p>“I certainly don’t have the most luxurious bedding but I hope it’ll do you well” Calliope laughed softly. </p><p>“Compared to my sleeping arrangements these past months, I’ll be just fine” Roxy smiled sadly, turning to Calliope as she left the room “Goodnight!”</p><p>“Goodnight” Calliope said from the doorframe, slowly shutting the door and leaving them alone. </p><p>Roxy was afraid she’d hardly get any sleep because of her nerves, but funnily enough, she hit the bed like a stone and slept hard. Maybe John's company, and warmth, kept her comfortable, sleeping as she pressed into his back. </p><p>They were up early, Roxy not remembering her dreams, down the stairs in the same clothes they had arrived and slept in. They really hadn’t brought many changes, but Roxy wasn’t very picky anymore. </p><p>John was much more himself now that he was rested, trotting down the stairs and around the corner, Calliope already awake and tending the bar. It wasn’t open to the public yet, but she had cleaned all the tables and prepared for the day. Roxy assumed it was busy, having been the only bar or restaurant she was able to see in the area. </p><p>“Good morning, you two” Calliope lit up “Are you hungry, you should eat before you go!” </p><p>“Are you sure?” John sat at the bar seat, Roxy joining him, pushing up her sleeves. </p><p>“Please, it’s my pleasure” Calliope pulled together a small meal for each of them, which they scarfed down happily. It was food Roxy had never tried before, completely enthralled by the flavors. </p><p>Well rested and well fed, there was no more time for stalling, Roxy and John preparing to leave. Followed outside by Calliope, she pet the large horse with big eyes. John would lead the horse out of the city before taking the reins from Roxy, using the small sheet of directions Calliope had given them. </p><p>“I had a brother once, he was my best friend” Calliope said to Roxy, touching her leg “Years ago, however, he changed so much… I lost the brother I loved for good. I would kill to have the opportunity you have right now, please, fight for him.” </p><p>“Thank you so much for your help Calliope, I have a feeling I’ll see you again” Roxy smiled down at her, holding the paper close to her chest. </p><p>“You better hurry now, you still have some time to travel, yet” Calliope stepped away from the horse, standing in the door as Roxy was pulled away.</p><p>They made it to the edge of the city, John mounting the horse and slowly building a run as they followed the natural landmarks to Prospit. </p><p>Another long day of travel felt like nothing, Roxy attentive and wide eyed as they bounced on the horses back. It was a beautiful day, as if the summer had come already. Seemingly, here at least, it had. </p><p>“I’m getting nervous” John looked over his shoulder, smiling back at Roxy. </p><p>“I’m not as nervous with you” She sighed “Atleast, if he hates me and shuns us away, we can pick a new place to live together.” </p><p>“Where should we go?” John said playfully </p><p>“Let’s sneak onto a boat and become pirates” Roxy laughed, wrapping her arms around John’s waist. </p><p>“Pirates? I say we go back to France and run a flower shop in the city” John smiled </p><p>“You are so boring, sometimes” Roxy let go of him, looking over him as they approached another city. </p><p>Unlike Russia, it was rather open, one large entrance overhead with a short and simple wall, which quickly ended with a step like pattern, children playing by climbing over it. People were coming and going, a farmer and his goats passing by them as he exited the city, a group of women standing against the entrance with large bags of vegetables and bowls of water, talking and laughing together. </p><p>Entering the city, Roxy was surprised to see it was full of people. Shouting at her from the ground, men tried to sell her jewelry and stones, scarfs embroidered with unique patterns she’d never seen, food, and beverages piping hot in cups. Children ran nearby, gasping in surprise at the horses size, chasing after one another. Barefoot, a woman danced and people clapped their hands, men playing music and stomping their feet to the beat. Every door was open, smells of cooking food flooding the city, women standing outside and drying clothing on clothes lines, swatting their children who hid under the carpets and sheets. The city was full of life, and their presence seemed to go completely unnoticed. </p><p>Large trees grew from the ground, some bearing fruit that Roxy had never seen nor tasted, with leafs in shapes which were unfamiliar. </p><p>Marveling at the city around him, and with John distracted, they walked the horse into a hanging carpet a woman was beating. The horse reared back in response to the man shouting and waving his arms, backing into another couple, who separated and shouted at them. John scrunched up, the horse huffing in distress. </p><p>“Over here!” A man called, flagging them down, John leading the horse in his direction. </p><p>Approaching him, Roxy looked around John at his stable, a few horses being tended to. He was a slender man, hair wild with curls that seemed overgrown, crawling down his neck. Most strikingly, however, he wore a bright red shirt, rolled up to the elbows, with stitched patterns of flowers and feathers, made with bright blues and yellows that seemed expensive just by the look of them. Pants above the waist, he stood with a swagger that was almost ridiculous, reaching out to curl his fingers between the bridle straps. </p><p>“Prospit is no place for a horse this large, friend” He looked up at John, petting the horse's face with his pretty hands. Roxy thought John had beautiful hands, but goodness, this man was something to envy “Let me book her. You must not be from around here?” </p><p>“We aren’t, and we don’t have your currency” John said, pulling on the reins “I’m sorry, we can’t accept your business.”</p><p>“This isn’t a business, sir” He stumbled, letting go of the horse's face, shaking out his wrinkled shirt “This is a place of worship, we house the horses for free.” Roxy looked up at the building, face scrunched with the sun in her face. </p><p>“I’m sorry, but we need the horse, we are looking for someone” Roxy called from behind John, putting her feet in the stirrups and standing to look over him. </p><p>“Well you won’t get far on this, here, get down, let’s talk” He persuaded John, looking back at Roxy. Shifting for a few seconds, she reluctantly agreed. </p><p>The horse was pulled under the shade, the man helping Roxy, who helped John, giving the horse to a young man who led it into an empty stable. John seemed suddenly uneasy, holding Roxy by her shoulder, standing to protect her back. </p><p>“You said you were looking for someone?” He questioned, opening the stable door for the horse, the young boy leading it inside.</p><p>“Yes, my brother” Roxy led, putting a hand to her chest “We’ve been traveling for days to get here.” </p><p>“Well you must be exhausted, you should come inside, sit down for a while” He suggested. </p><p>“No, we just need to find my brother” Roxy insisted </p><p>“We don’t even know if he’ll have us, we might not even be here for the night” John admitted, Roxy looking glum. The stranger sighed, pushing back his pretty hair, effectively wiping the sweat from his forehead. </p><p>“Well, who is it you're looking for?” He asked </p><p>“You might know his company better” Roxy assumed “He’s with another man, his name is Karkat Vantas.” </p><p>The mention of the name seemed to strike a cord in the stable hand, his shoulders tensing and posture straightening out. He blinked in surprise, putting a shocked hand to his chest, looking back at the other stable hand. The other boy seemed equally surprised, frozen as he held the reins of their horse. </p><p>“You are looking for… MY brother?” He stressed, Roxy blinking away her own surprise. </p><p>“Your brother is Karkat Vantas?” She asked </p><p>“Yes, I’m Kankri Vantas, Dave is my, erm, brother-in-law” Kankri whispered in the way you speak to someone when you two are the only ones who know something, like sharing a secret. </p><p>“Brother in… Nevermind that, if you are Karkat's brother, you must certainly know where they are!” Roxy shouted with delight. </p><p>“Of course I do! But… but I swore I'd never tell anyone..” Kankri stood up straight, pointing up his chin “I couldn’t go against their wishes.”</p><p>“Their wishes? I’ve traveled days to see him, you have to tell me!” Roxy demanded </p><p>“I won’t! I’m sorry, I really am” Kankri denied “But I swore to him that I’d never tell!”</p><p>“I've been alone for months, you have to at least let me speak to him!“ </p><p>“I will not—“</p><p>“How would you feel if someone kept you away from your brother? If you loved him so much and he was taken from you, and if you came all this way unsure if you’d even find him and now someone stands between you and all they had to do was—“ Roxy shouted,</p><p>“You can stay in the church until you need to head home,” Kankri interrupted </p><p>“How-“ Roxy started </p><p>“I don’t get to leave the church much— but I do know that… a blonde man in a red cape comes into the city every morning and tells stories to the village children. He puts on quite a show, you shouldn’t leave until you see it” He finished. </p><p>Roxy looked at him wide eyed, and then back at John, who seemed equally as bewildered. </p><p>“O… oh!” Roxy smiled, throwing her arms around Kankris neck and hugging him “Thank you!”</p><p>“That’s alright” Kankri laughed awkwardly, pushing her away and patting her shoulder.</p><p>“Let’s go, John!” Roxy pulled on his shirt, her tall friend staring at Kankri for a few more seconds before letting her lead. Into the town, Roxy looked around. </p><p>They both searched around, Roxy trying to find him. In a crowd of people, all of whom wore bright colors of all different patterns, she saw multiple people in bright red clothing that all made her stomach drop. All false alarms, her nerves were resurfacing, huffing in frustration. He had to be here, he had to be. </p><p>John stood over her, trying to keep up, constantly running into her every time she stalled to look around. Roxy grumbled, turning around to scold him when two children weaved between them, fruits hugged to their chests. </p><p>Laughing as they ran towards the plaza, Roxy’s instincts told her to follow. Grabbing John’s hand, she followed the children as best she could. Spotting their heads as they passed under people’s carts, around legs, and between conversations. </p><p>“Roxy, slow down—“ John whined, losing his grip on her hand. </p><p>She didn’t listen, squeezing out from the crowd as the children ran to the center of the plaza. Looking around for them, her eyes locked on to the man in the center, crouching on his knees. A long red cape surrounding his body, a baggy hood over his head. </p><p>The children ran over to him, getting his attention with the gifts in hand. He perked up, grabbing his hood and pulling it off, he smiled at them. </p><p>He shook out his blonde hair, shaggier then she remembered, making an exaggerated face of delight as they handed him the fruit. </p><p>“Why, thank you!” He pulled one into a hug, Roxy’s heart skipping a beat as his voice filled her ears. </p><p>“Roxy, jesus, I almost lost you,” John said, grabbing her shoulder and standing beside her.</p><p>The man in the plaza flinched, standing up and looking around. John pulled Roxy into the crowd, the princess frantically trying to see around people’s heads at him. He flipped his hood back up, quickly saying goodbye and pulling the fruits into his bag. The kids waved, Dave speeding between buildings and disappearing with a ploom of his cape. </p><p>“John, what are you doing?” Roxy turned angrily, pulling her hand away. </p><p>“You are going to scare him, we can’t just run up to him in front of all of these people” John shouted</p><p>“He was right here” Roxy whined “Now we have no idea where he is!” </p><p>“We won’t if we don’t start following him” John pushed her shoulder, Roxy scowling before running after the stranger she hoped was her brother. </p><p>Between the buildings, the couple emerged looking in every direction. “There” John put a hand on her back, pointing out as Dave sped over the hill, holding on to his hood as he passed between people. </p><p>Following his footsteps, Roxy held on to John’s hand tightly, trying to get them both caught up. The chase continued as before: popping out of a crowd, spotting the cape just as it disappeared, and repeat. </p><p>Soon, people weren’t crowded around, only standing outside of their homes or pulling carts of produce up to shops, Roxy was able to see Dave stick out from the greenery as a shot of red. He had slowed down as he walked down a path devoid of houses or people, trees covering the path to give him shade, Roxy and John continuing with caution. </p><p>The hooded man walked leisurely, stopping to pick up something off the path, putting it in his bag before continuing. Keeping low, everytime he turned his head, John and Roxy ducked behind shrubbery or the thick trunks of the trees. Dave looked around for a mere second before continuing home. </p><p>It was nerve wracking being so close, being able to shout his name and have him come. Still, her concerns exceeded her. He seemed taller, broader, and slimmer than before. His hair was long and shaggy, something Dave often detested before. His voice seemed familiar but all the same distant and unlike him, deeper or higher she couldn’t place it. She could be following a stranger, completely misled by that stablehand to keep<br/>them away, and she only saw the hooded man from a distance. She couldn’t stop now, however. </p><p>Going down the steep hill, Dave jogged to keep his balance, digging his boots into the earth as they approached a lone house hidden in the sparse, sandy, woods. Afraid to make too much noise if they followed him down the hill, Roxy watched from a distance as he approached the house, knocking on the door.</p><p>“It’s only me” He called, the door opening for him to enter. More inaudible conversation continued as he shut the door, quiet filling the woods again. </p><p>Sliding down the hill, Roxy brushed off her thigh, John following. She stood at the end of the trail, which tapered off into patches of grass and dirt, leading to the stones that marked the front of their home. </p><p>John put a hand on her shoulder, looking at her as she looked up, sighing nervously. </p><p>“He’s right there, John” She mumbled, trying to keep her voice low. “Everything we’ve been doing, those days of miserable travel, my months of imprisonment… and he’s finally right in front of me…” </p><p>“So why aren’t you moving?” John urged </p><p>“I’m afraid” Roxy shrugged “What if after all this time, the one person I have left doesn’t want me?” </p><p>John was quiet, looking down at the ground and then up at the house, rubbing his thumb in a circle motion over her shoulder. </p><p>“Then we’ll be pirates” He smiled, making Roxy smile reflexively. He never really could take much seriously, and in a way, it was a blessing. </p><p>“You’re right” Roxy laughed, looking back at the house nervously before waving for John to follow “Come on.” </p><p>Approaching the door, she looked around. It was larger than she expected, but longer than it was tall. It had many wide open windows, and besides the house was a fenced area, a few small goats watching her with so much intensity it was uncomfortable. Plants made from hand-twisted plant holders sway in the small breeze that passed through the trees, a basket at the door filled with chopped wood, an axe against the wall. The house was a dull blue, but Roxy assumes it must’ve once been bright and brand new, full of life and color. </p><p>Hand to the door, Roxy stood up straight and knocked. </p><p>If she was able to hear any noise from the inside before, it fell silent, the natural creaking of the house even halting for a decision. John was at her side, giving her a reassuring smile. The floor shifted, slow walking to approach the door, a chain sliding against the wood audibly as the handle was grabbed. Roxy backed up, John following, the door creaking open. </p><p>Only now as she stood close to him, could she be sure it was her baby brother. </p><p>All the different he looked couldn’t confuse her memory of his soft and gentle appearance, now older in every way. He was taller, almost taller than her, and his pretty curly hair twisted around his neck and cheeks, pushed away from his face. His beard pattern was the same as their fathers, the same as Dirks, but light and not yet grown in. Small wisps of hair above his lip, blonde as the hair on his head. Overall, his face seemed longer and sharper, the softness of his jaw being sculpted out, his eyes were the only part of him that remained completely familiar. Even now, as he grew more masculine, he still reminded Roxy so much of her mother. </p><p>Speechless, they stared at each other, his hand clutching the handle of the door as his mouth stuttered open. Equally, it seems neither of them could believe that the other was standing there. </p><p>“Who was at the door—“ Karkat interjected the silence, putting a hand above Dave’s head on the door frame, eyes going wide, “Roxy?” </p><p>Dave laughed, almost hysterically, covering his mouth and running at her. Wrapping his arms around her waist, her lack of preparation for him knocked them both to the ground. Roxy instinctively hugged him back, laughing with him as he buried his face into her neck. Roxy shuffled up on her butt to hug him in her lap. All of her fear, all of the tired left her, as the familiar smell of his hair consumed her, hugging tightly. </p><p>“How did you, I can't believe,” Dave stuttered, laughing happily “You found me?” </p><p>“It wasn’t easy” Roxy only realized she was crying as she spoke, sobbing within her laugh “Oh my god, you've grown so much,” </p><p>“I’ve grown so much? Look how much you’ve changed” Dave insisted, “Look at your hair!” </p><p>“I just did this!” Roxy nodded, Dave completely bewildered, playing with it.</p><p>“It suits you!” He weaved his fingers through the hair on each side of her head, fluffing it up as he dragged them through it. </p><p>Roxy wiped her nose with her wrist, pulling him back into a hug, her chest shaking with tears. Dave buried his face into her chest, smiling against her skin, only looking up when Karkat touched his shoulder. </p><p>“Here, let’s go inside,” Karkat urged, pulling Dave to his feet, who in turn, pulled up Roxy. They laughed as they walked inside together, Roxy squeezing John’s hand. </p><p>The house was immediately homely. A cool breeze blew through the house between the windows, small and lit only by the natural light of the sun, and it seemed they had been keeping themselves busy. The air blew the delightful smell of cooking food into Roxy’s face, reminding her of how hungry she was. On the table, only able to seat two, were half finished wooden block sculptures, small enough you could hold them in your hand. A whittling knife rested on the table, holding down a stack of papers, corners flying up every time a breeze would come. The papers were hand drawn music sheets, decorated with doodles she knew her brother had drawn. On the seat of the chair, the bag Dave had in the plaza had been hung over the back, stuffed full of paper, sticks, and fruit. </p><p>Stairs, akin to a ladder with open backs, led to a floor she couldn’t see, only enough room for one person to go up at a time. It did let in quite a bit of light, shining down on to the floor like sunlight. Dave ran over to their kitchen, pulling a large pot off the flame, groaning dramatically until Karkat took it from him. </p><p>Karkat hadn’t changed much at all. Roxy didn’t spend much time with him before, but she remembered his face and voice well. He was taller, maybe, but that boyish charm in his face hadn’t changed, and his face was just as scruffy as before. </p><p>“Your home is lovely” John looked around and overhead, reaching up to run his hand along the hanging ends of a tapestry on the wall. </p><p>“I think so too” Dave cheesed, that same happy glow Roxy remembered him for had returned. She had prayed their mother hadn’t killed it, and it seemed she hadn’t.  “Come on, Rox, sit with me.” </p><p>Sitting across the table from him, Dave laughed awkwardly as he tried to clear off the mess. Roxy didn’t care, in fact, she’d hardly noticed. All she could do was stare at him, stare and smile. </p><p>“This place is so different from Russia,” Roxy said, Dave grabbing fistfuls of the wooden statues and sliding them on the shelf, “The weather is a dream.” </p><p>“The food is the best part” Dave smiled, head resting on his crossed arms, looking up at Roxy. </p><p>A silence came over the room, John coming up behind Roxy and holding her shoulders, messing with the collar of her shirt. Resting, Roxy sighed, recomposing. She had come all this way, found Dave, and was as far away from harm as possible: So why did she still feel like this?</p><p>Her tired, weary, eyes met Dave’s as his hands traveled across the table and touched her own. His hands had always been soft, small, and untouched by work of any definition. Now, though, when his fingertips traveled over the back of her hand, they were unfamiliarly rough and warned. Pushing his thumb under her hand, he turned them facing palm up, squeezing her hands as a new wave of sadness washed over him. </p><p>The same as his, her pretty hands were now rough and ruined by the torture of imprisonment. </p><p>“Why are you here?” Dave looked up from her hands, squeezing tighter. His voice cracked with pain, as if she transferred it to him through touch, and nuzzling his hands to her face, she put her head down and cried. </p><p>John hugged around her chest, laying his head on her back, surrounding her with comfort. Dave shook his head, lip quivering as anger replaced his turmoil. </p><p>“What has he done?” Dave asked, not once letting go.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>this update is long overdue! recently, ive outgrown homestuck and moved on to other interests and communities. i’m in love with this fic and the people who’ve read and supported it, and i plan to finish it, but it’s been hard to feel passionate and motivated to write. it’s your continuous reading, commenting, and support that’s kept me going. Thank you!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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